Operation Slayers and Non Essentials, Second Coming:

Author's Notes: Guess who's back...back again...yes were back, tell a friend. Rider's back, SM's back, Rider's back, SM's back, yes were bbbaccck.. nananananana. So following the events of OSNE 1, Buffy, the gang and her Slayers attempt to go back to their normal/semi apocalyptic lives of nightly patrolling and dealing with one mini apocalypse every few months. Unfortunately for them, a past, stubborn and incorporeal enemy will not rest until its plans have come to fruition and Hell is unleashed upon earth.In this chapter, any group of sentences that are in Italics is Andrew narrating in his own words. Also, in the beginning chapters of this fic, there will be a lot more dialogue than usual. Hopefully that doesn't give too much away. Please Review, any feedback is good feedback.

We last left off with Buffy and the Scoobies coming home to a completely wrecked Slayer Central after the non-original Slayers fended off and defeated one, vampiric Joan of Arc and her army. Spike, Angel and Illyria were there to ensure victory.

Chapter 1

"Oh, why hello there gentle viewers. My, you startled me, i was not expecting you all back so soon," a robbed man said as he put down his pipe and book onto a small desk.

"But I'm certainly glad to see you all, gentle viewers. Come with me now," the man waved his hand around the library he was seated in.

"And let me regale you since last we met, with a tale of one Buffy Summers. A tale that i like to call Buffy, Buffy the Slayer of the 'Vampyres'," the man said as he folded his hands in his lap. "As the first few days came and went it took a monumental effort from our heroine, as the harsh winds of Scotland were crew-al. The Slayer and-"

"Hey Andy, what you up to?"

"Oh hey Ken, could you come back in a little while? I'm kind of busy"

"Awww, what's wrong Andy? Dawn not putting out? You know the showers are a better place to do your dirty work right? Maybe you'll get lucky and walk in on the girls," Kennedy told Andrew with a wink.

"WHO WILL BE WALKING IN ON WHAT GIRLS?" Dawn yelled at her best friend and watcher as she walked towards them.

"Oh nothing, our watcher just wanted to hit the showers with some of the girls is all," Kennedy told Dawn while pointing her thumb towards Andrew; wearing a mischievous smile on her face

" I do not!...Ok i wouldn't mind, but I WON'T!"

"Yo, what's all the commotion about?" Rona asked while entering the library with Vi walking beside her.

"Andrew was thinking of cheating on me with a group of the newbies," Dawn explained.

"...WHAT!" A loud and familiar voice was heard as two figures walked into the Library.

"Buffy...Faith...We were just kidding around," Andrew chuckled.

"I'm not really gonna cheat on Dawn, see?" Andrew said as he got out of his chair and hugged Dawn.

"This is me not cheating on the sister of the legendary Chosen One and- AHHHH!" Andrew screamed like his manhood was squeezed as he ran around the library with Buffy chasing.

"Buffy, go for the nipples!" Kennedy screamed out to a running Buffy.

"Noooo! Not the nipples! For the love of Luke and Layla not the nipples!" Andrew screeched as he attempted to flee from his pursuer, toppling over chairs behind him as he ran.

"Oh c'mon Andy, You can't tell me you never dreamed of having the hot older sister of your girlfriend give you some rough nipple pinching love," Faith chuckled.

"I know i have...Ouch! Willow!" Xander yelled to the arm pincher to his right as he and Willow entered the room.

"Ouch! Satsu! What was that for?" Xander yelled to the arm pincher to his left as Satsu and her crew entered the library.

"How many times have you dreamed of having some or all of us pinching or touching you in any way, shape, or form Harris?" Satsu asked.

"...That's Commander Harris"

"OUCH! Ok! Ok! Guilty, guilty! Stop gang pinching me!" Xander shouted as he rubbed the red spots on his arms.

"Xander, do reframe from teasing our Slayers and witch," Giles announced as he entered the library with tea in hand.

"Would somebody please help me!" Andrew screamed as he was coming around the bend of a line of bookshelves.

With a smile on her face, Faith rolled her eyes and stepped in front of Andrew a few meters away from him, arms outstretched.

"Ummff!...Faith, let go! How is this helping?" The young watcher frantically and loudly asked.

"She can't pinch you during 'Operation Faith Shield' now can she?" Faith explained as she winked at the young man in her arms.

Faith and Andrew turned their attention back towards the direction Andrew was running from and suddenly stopped smiling when they saw Buffy running like a run-away train towards them, "LIKE HELL I CAN'T!"

" Oh," Andrew started.

"Fuck," Faith finished.

"Ummmf!" Both Faith and Andrew were tackled to the ground as Buffy lunged at the two, like a cat pouncing on its prey.

"AHAHAHA! BUFFY! STOP TICKLING US PLEASE! I'M GONNA PEA MY PANTS!" The young watcher pleaded.

"Alright, fine." Buffy said with an evil smile on her face.

Buffy then put both her hands in the air and formed two crab like Slayer claws and with one swift motion, Buffy gripped one of Andrew's and one of Faith's nipples.

"Buffy? Baby?" Faith pleaded.

However, Buffy would have none of it. Still wearing her evil smile, Buffy suddenly twisted both her wrists to the right.

"TEAM FAITH ASSEMBLE!" Faith suddenly screamed with a high pitch squeal.

"TEAM BUFFY! TO BATTLE!" Buffy retaliated.

"Oh dear," Giles gasped. The older man knowing full well what happens when two Slayers have at it, playfully or not.

Both teams were luckily already gathered on separate sides of the ongoing pinching and tickle battle, when the shenanigans and chicanery first began. Both teams looked at each other's respective leaders and both teams received a cocky half smile from their respective leaders. Kennedy and Satsu both looked up at each other with cocky smiles on their faces until Kennedy broke the stalemate as she cocked her head to the left.

"Give us a kiss?"

With that, the Slayer Central library was now the battleground's for an all-out Slayer tickle and pinching war. Curse words being thrown into the air like church choir songs, pleads for mercy and Scooby member comparisons flooding the room.

"Please Satz, stay down. Xander is a better wrestler then you, and he's a dirty pirate hooker now," Kennedy mused.

"Hey!" Xander shouted in rebuttal.

"Like I'm gonna let you on top, who do i look like, Willow?"

"Did she just?...Somebody tell me she didn't just say that," Willow exclaimed with a look of shock on her face and a feeling for revenge in her heart.

"FFFFaith! Get...get off me! AHAHAHA! C'mon get off me or I'm telling!"

"Jeez Andy, how old are ya? You gonna go cry to grandpa Giles and get him to give me a spanking?" Faith questioned.

"Grandpa!" Giles shouted in frustration.

All three of the original Scooby members looked at each other and all had the same thought on their minds.

"Ripper," Willow nodded at Giles while she used her magic to make her hair blow in the out-of-nowhere wind.

"Commander?" Giles asked while looking straight ahead at the ongoing battle, rolling up his sleeves as he did so.

"No mercy!" Xander shouted.

Within seconds the once peaceful Slayer Headquarters was turned into a zoo; all but one stationary device watching.

"This will definitely be the only time I assist that boy with his watcher's diaries. Andrew will just have to do with old fashioned pen and paper from now on. Although...This will make for an excellent attachment to our Christmas card e-mails." Olivia announced to herself with a smile on her face as she pressed pause on the video camera.

Olivia took a quick sip from her mug of tea, turned to the first blank page of Andrew's new diary, grabbed a pen, pressed the play button on Andrew's video camera and observed the television set which the camera was hooked up to. Andrew appeared on screen, hair ruffled, cheek's red and robe worn ill mannered.

"Sorry for the untimely interruption gentle viewers. It seems people in this establishment do not appreciate privacy, or Slayer education. But i digress. Come with me now as I regale you with the tale of what happened after the Chosen One's return to our fortress of solitude. A tale i like to call Buffy, Buffy the Slayer of the 'Vampryes'." Andrew explained to the video camera as he leaned forwards and rested his chin on his open palm

The first few days after the encounter with Joan of Arc the 'vampyre', were the most difficult. Buffy was secretly still blaming herself for the death and destruction around her. And seeing severely wounded demons, Slayer's and Andrew everywhere she went didn't help. Buffy spent as much time as she could alone.

The Scooby gang did all they could to reassure the Chosen One that nobody is to blame for being unexpectedly attacked as they took a well deserved vacation from Hell on earth. Unfortunately

, all their efforts were in vein. Even Angel, Spike and Faith tried to work together in an attempt help Buffy see that no one is to blame, but Buffy would have none of it. Family and friends were seriously considering having Willow go inside Buffy's mind again, until an unsuspecting party offered to help console Buffy. Buffy the Slayer of the 'Vampyres'.

Illyria took Buffy for a day's walk around the castle grounds. They slowly paced in and out of the castle, through Illyria's demon encampment and into the wooded area near the castle grounds. Illyria purposely made Buffy observe the daily life and routine of every person and demon living on the castle grounds. Through the entire walk not one soul looked at Buffy with any anger or malice, but instead with respect and love. Illyria took every opportunity to bring those looks of respect and love to Buffy's attention and discuss every conversation anyone had with the two while on their walk.

Every time someone or something would talk to Illyria or Buffy as they passed by, the other party only expressed love, respect and appreciation towards the two leaders. After every conversation the two had with others, Illyria immediately talked to Buffy about what was said and how it was said. All encounters had with the two and other parties were without any malice or anger and Illyria constantly reminded Buffy of that. Slowly but surely Buffy's mood improved as her walk continued.

Finally, when Illyria and Buffy were in the forest close to the castle grounds and out of earshot from Slayer or demon hearing, Illyria held nothing back.

"PA...THETIC!" Illyria spat out as she turned to Buffy.

"Whaa...What?" Buffy asked.

"You're a pathetic leader. Not only do you abandon your people for your own enjoyment, but you dishonor them by pitifully mourning alone for them instead of holding a passing ceremony! You!" Illyria spat out to Buffy as she pointed her finger at the blonde Slayer. "Do not deserve to lead."

All the confidence and renewed feeling of a burden free soul was suddenly broken and replaced with sadness and self-loathing for one, Buffy Summers. Seconds after Illyria stood pointing at Buffy, the Chosen One was shaking, crying and repeating the words "No, no," while holding herself.

Illyria followed every back step Buffy made and got right into her personal space, "Yes! Yes Buffy! Look at what you have become! You were legendary, untouchable by even my standards. You were a warrior queen of which the likes this world has never been blessed with before. Now look at you, a child could best you."

"No, no," Buffy shook as she walked backwards.

"Yes! How could you dishonor yourself like this? Your friends, your family? The ones who have constantly stood at your side even when you did not deserve them? This is how you honor them? This is how you earn their respect and loyalty? What would Faith do if she saw you like this? Would she even have the time or patience to deal with you? I dare say not, she would be too busy being a real leader, a real Slayer, a real legend. Would she even want you after her patience for a whining infant runs thin?"

"No, no," Buffy shook as she walked backwards, right into a tree.

"YES BUFFY! YOU FAILED! YOU FAILED THEM ALL! What would your mother say?"

In that instant, that one second it takes to process that one word Illyria spat out with such venom and malice, it happened. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the champion of mankind, the Chosen One...Snapped.

"FUCK YOU! FUCK!...YOU! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE ME! I am all that stands between life and death on this earth! When things get bad, I am the one everyone goes to! With all of our allies, all of our champions, I am always the one who has to give the orders and make the hard decisions! Hell, I was brought back from the dead twice because there is nobody else that can do what i do! I'm not a God! I can't do everything, be everywhere and stop every evil in the world! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

"Again!" Illyria yelled back at Buffy.

"Whha…What?" Buffy asked, still unable to process anything after her rage high.

"Say it again," Illyria told Buffy.

"It's...It's not my fault"

Illyria suddenly grabbed Buffy by the collar and pulled the woman within inches of her own face as she yelled at the Slayer once more, "SAY!...IT!..AGAIN!"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Buffy screamed at Illyria as she broke the demon queen's hold and took a few steps backwards.

Buffy's eyed widened as she finally realized what she said and meant by her own free will.

"It's not my fault...It's not my fault," Buffy sighed in relief.

Illyria smiled at Buffy before she spoke to her, "Let us return to your kingdom, dinner should be ready soon after we return."

"Oh yes, how I look forward to demon food." Buffy sighed as she and Illyria started to make their way back to Slayer Central.

"Illyria...Thank you. I owe-"

"Buffy, stop. You owe me nothing. I did not do this for you or yours. I did this for Angel and Spike. Your fate is directly tied to theirs. Where you go, they eventually will follow. When you call, they eventually heed. I have nothing against you Buffy but i have nothing to gain by helping you here. I also did this for the young alpha male. I cannot fathom why, but i like him," Illyria said when she cut Buffy off.

"Ok, I understand. But i can't go back without saying thank you, whether you want it or no-wait, did you? Alpha male? Young? Illyria I know Giles is nowhere near as old as you but he isn't exactly a spring chicken. And Xander isn't exactly the donut getting machine he once was," Buffy pondered to Illyria.

"I meant the young man your sister has mated with," Illyria explained.

"Haahahaha! Andrew? Alpha Male? Ok maybe one day after Willow figures out a way to magically create testosterone, but until then, no way!" Buffy mused as she gestured for a stone faced Illyria to walk home with her.

"Illyria...Why aren't you laughing?"

"Buffy! Illyria! Your back, have a nice walk?" Dawn greeted her sister in the ruins of the Slayer Library.

"Yes Dawn, can you call everyone please. I have something i want to say to you all that i should have said since we got back"

"Big speech time?" Dawn questioned her sister, already knowing her Buffy's answer.

"Big speech time," Buffy affirmed Dawn. "Now go get everyone in here while I think of what to say"

Ten minutes later all the troops filled in, wondering what the meeting was about.

"Ok everyone, let's get to it. First off, yes I'm back and guilt free. Thank you. All of you, for your love and concern, but that's not why i called you in here. The reason i wanted you all here is to tell you what i should have told you after you explained to me what happened in my absence. Angel, Spike, thank you both. I can't think of what to say that will come even marginally close as to how much gratitude we all have for you both. The only reward i can offer is to be by your sides whenever you call".

"The only reward?" Spiked asked Buffy with a wolfish grin.

"Oww! You bloody poofer! Like you weren't thinking the same thing?" Spike bellowed to his grandsire as Angel swiftly smacked Spike in the back of the head.

"I'm getting you alcoholic blood tonight big guy!" Faith cheered and high fived Angel.

Spike, not wanting to be left without his beverage of choice, yelped after he pinched himself and looked at Faith expectantly.

"Nice try Blondie Bear, bu-oh c'mon stop pouting. You're supposed to be the 'Big Bad'!...Ok fine! You can have a beer to, just stop looking at me like that. What? Buffy show you how to pout while you fu-"

"Moving on!" Buffy shouted.

Buffy then shifted her attention to all of the Slayers and Andrew. "You told me that Joan of Arc thought that your all are small fries. Expendable, nothing compared to me and Faith. As much as i would love to agree with her and believe that the Chosen Two aren't going to be outdated, I can't. Joan was wrong, you all standing before me is proof of that. I am extremely proud of each and every single one of you. I no longer look at you as the potentials and the pain's in my ass you all were back in Sunnydale. In front of me i see agents of death and destruction to whatever comes outta Hell...and Andrew"

"Aww c'mon, I can be a horseman to!" Andrew whined.

"Riding Dawn instead of a horse doesn't count buddy," Kennedy quipped.

"Ouch! Ok I'm sorry Dawn, no more hitting," Kennedy whimpered after her best friend punched her shoulder.

"Again, Moving on." Buffy announced, shuddering from the new mental image she just had.

"Now while Dawn was gathering you all, I had a thought. This has been the first attack but it won't be the last, not by a long shot. "Buffy announced as she paced up and down the library ruins.

"We tipped the cosmic scales when we activated you all. That means that Hell is gonna hit us harder and with more players, and soon. And there's always the First. Did we trap it or just piss it off by taking out some of its employees? I don't think it's possible to actually destroy the First unless it has a corporeal form or we get every person and demon in the world to hug a tree. Regardless, this all means that were gonna have to be able to hit back harder than we ever did before. All of our training, defenses and precautions up to this point are now useless, old news. From here on out were gonna be more thorough, train longer, hit harder, leave no prisoners and show no mercy! If Hell won't hold back, then neither will we.
Any questions?"

"Yes Andrew?" Buffy sighed.

"Umm...How?"

"Oh c'mon, I barely had enough time to make that speech, let alone figure out how were gonna go all John Rambo on evil. Besides, the way Illyria talks about you, your apparently the new 'man with the plan',you alpha male you." Buffy retorted.

In less than a second, the occupants of the entire room minus Andrew were giggling or trying to hold back their laughter.

"It could happen!" Andrew pouted while crossing his arms over his chest, which earned the young man another round of laughter.

And so the storm past and our heroine was once again the Chosen One. Luckily for Buffy, the Slayer of the 'Vampyres' , demonic activity hit a new low in Scotland after the Saint of 'vampires' was slain. Thus the Slayer's next focus was now on rebuilding her empire. But before our champion can rebuild her castle, she must rebuild her friends. The slayer of Joan of Arcadia and the fiery mane Goddess were able to stalemate their problems for Buffy's sake, but their grievances remained.

"Ok Willow, I'm here, what do you want?" Kennedy asked as she entered the ruins of their old room.

"Ken, could you come here? Sit for a minute?" Willow asked as she patted the seat of the chair beside her.

"Um...Why?"

"Ken!...Would you just...Please?" Willow asked again.

Kennedy seeing the concern on the face of her former lover, complied with a nod and sat beside the witch. After a brief moment of silence, Willow took it upon herself to look at Kennedy and begin.

"Ken, now may be a good of a time as any to talk about...Us."

"Alright, talk." Kennedy retorted as she crossed her arms.

"Ok, this isn't gonna work if we don't say it and mean it." Willow spoke aloud before she let out a long sigh. "Ken, we fell apart and I don't think we can be put back together. But i don't want us to fight forever. Were both part of this family now and regardless of what we lost, we are always going to be in contact with each other like a family should be. We can't always be fighting and forcing others to take sides. Lives depend on us every day and if were too busy fighting amongst ourselves, were going to get the people that we care about killed. So I'm asking you to tell me in your own words where we went wrong Ken, just talk to me." Willow told Kennedy while she took the Slayer's hand in hers.

Kennedy quickly jerked her hand free and looked away from her former lover, "Willow...Are you sure? Are you sure you want to do this?" Kennedy asked the witch once more as she gazed into Willow's eyes for the truth.

With a nod of her head and truth in her eyes, Willow encouraged Kennedy to speak her mind and her heart.

The dark haired Slayer rose from her seat and started to pace in front of Willow until she was able to form her first sentence.

"Alright, Will there's no easy way to say this but, you never loved me. You never loved me nor can you ever love me like you did with Tara. I tried so hard at first not to be selfish and not feel like weren't giving me you're all. But i kept hearing small stories of how you were with Tara when something happened to us that reminded the others of you two. The way you would rub the back of her thumb when you two held hands or the look you would get when she smiles and laughs. And then there's the whole witch thing. You two could understand and talk for hours about magic and fairytales, yet we can barely hold a conversation about Slaying. I'm going to be the next Chosen One while you're going to be the head of our new coven and magic teachers. You do magic and I do battle. Were to different Willow and the more I think about it, the more I feel we would never work."

The red haired witch looked up at her former Slayer with a face full of pain, regret and sadness. With all of her emotions running ramped through her heart and mind, Willow kept her composure based on one fact. Kennedy was right.

"Your right!...Goddess I hate this so much but, Ken your right and I'm so sorry." Willow deeply sobbed for a few moments before wiping her face.

"No matter how hard I try, what Tara and I had can never happen again. At least not with us. I know, Ken I saw this a little while after I started the new coven. I didn't want to believe it but my heart kept telling me otherwise. I tried to give you everything that i am, but sometimes...I feel like Tara is the one holding me, the one making-"

Willow quickly turned her gaze away from the Latina Slayer, unable to look at Kennedy and tell her the truth.

"I think...I think us being different is a good thing now," Willow told Kennedy when she looked back at her. "We can have the distance we need to heal."

"Your right. Will your right. We should try to use our specialties to get some distance between us for a while. I don't want to fight with you anymore either. But every time i see you and think about us...I start to get the feeling like you cheated me. Whenever you told me you would be my everything, but held back just enough to-" Kennedy bit her lip, unable to continue as she remembered the neglect and pain she felt from the past.

"Space...Time and space, and hopefully we can move on well enough to be around each other." Kennedy finally finished.

Both Slayer and witch silently looked upon one another for a brief period of time before Kennedy finally headed towards the door.

"Ken!" Willow shouted.

Kennedy slowly turned to face her former lover with her hand still on the doorknob.

"If you ever need anything...I'm always here for you Ken"

Kennedy suddenly smiled back to her old lover before she left the room, "I know Will, I know."

Well, gentle viewers. Ring the bells and count the rainbows, the Goddess and the Slayer have reconciled. Well, almost…Oh my, where has the time gone gentle viewers? I guess that's enough for now. Please, come back soon so i may continue to regale you with a tale i like to call, Buffy, Buffy the Slayer of the 'Vampyres'.