I am so so sorry I haven't gotten this up before now. I really am trying to give you daily updates but the first day I was out having a life for once (doesn't happen very often, don't worry - sidenote the Dark Knight Rises was great), the second day my grandmother went into the ICU (prayers and happy thoughts would be must appreciated), and yesterday I spent cleaning and giving advice to a friend. So, there's that. I'll get back to normal now, thanks for your patience.

Didn't have time to proof read, so if there are any mistakes, I'm sorry!

I own nothing, and am in no way connected to ABC. I wouldn't say "no" to a job writing for Castle, however.

Richard Castle had lost the child.

Okay, he didn't lose lose him – he had to be in the loft somewhere – but for the time being, he had lost the child.

"Grandpa, I think I want some chocolate milk," Jake had informed Castle. Which, of course, left him with no choice but to get up and get it. He had been pouring milk one minute, and then when he turned around…

He had lost the child.

It had been three days since his run-in with Beckett, and Jake had come over for a bit while Alexis and Tom had a date night.

To find a two-year-old, you had to think like a two-year-old.

Castle crept into the living room and stood in the middle, eyes sweeping every crevice of the room. When his search turned up nothing, he walked around carefully, peeking behind and under furniture, blankets, pillows, and lamps.

Nada. The kid was good.

Frowning, he sat down on the couch. If he was two, and had free reign on a loft, where would he go? He decided the living room was a dumb idea. Much too obvious. Too ordinary. Jake had been in the living room a million times, that's not where he would sneak off. No, it had to be somewhere more interesting. Maybe somewhere he'd been in a handful of times, but had never been able to completely explore…

Realization dawned on Castle and a smile spread slowly across his face.

The study.

Castle got up and made his way to the study, being as quiet as possible. The door was almost completely shut, and the light was on inside it. Small rustling sounds came from inside, followed by drawers being opened and shut, and his desk chair creaking.

Bingo.

He eased open the door to find Jake sitting contentedly at his desk, looking through an old, red leather bound photo album. He turned his attention to his grandfather with his mother's ice blue eyes and his father's messy brown hair, looking for all the world as if he had meant to be found the entire time.

Castle smiled softly at him and asked, "What'cha got there, buddy?"

"Photos," Jake said simply. "I don't know these people."

Castle scanned the photo albums on his shelf, "Which one did you grab?"

"The unlabeled one," Jake turned the page and then studied it.

"The unlabeled one?" Castle repeated blankly, trying to recall such an album.

"Yeah, all of them are labeled except this one," Jake explained. "Mommy's told me that you label stuff to remember what it is, so that must mean you wanted to forget this. But you kept it, so I don't know what that means."

Castle shook his head finally walked around behind Jake to see just which album he had to find Beckett's face staring back at him.

Oh. That.

Castle let out a slow, steady breath. "You know, you're pretty smart for a toddler."

A nervous look cast a shadow on Jake's face. "You don't sound happy. Did I do something bad?"

"No, no, you just…you surprise me, that's all," Castle gave him a reassuring smile. He gestured at the album and asked, "Do you want to hear the story?"

Jake grinned and nodded.

"Alright, hop up then so Grandpa can sit down, and I'll tell you anything you want to know, okay?"

Jake scrambled out of the chair and then climbed up on Castle's lap just as quickly, eager to find out. He sat horizontally on his lap, his back against one armrest and feet dangling through the other one. He rested his head on Castle's chest, getting cozy.

Castle took a hold of the large album and tipped it so that the bottom was on his knees, and they could see the photos in their entirety. "Okay, when is your mommy coming to get you again?"

"Ten," Jake told him. "What time is it?"

"8:23, we've got plenty of time," Castle flipped back to the beginning. "Any good story starts with questions, so why don't you give me your first one?"

Jake considered for a moment, and then pointed to Beckett in a picture that he had taken when they first started working together. "Her," he said decisively. "She's pretty, and she's in here lots. What's her name?"

Castle smiled. "Her name is Kate Beckett," he informed the child. "She is pretty, isn't she? Yeah, you'll see a lot of her in this one."

"What's she like?" Jake inquired.

Castle turned the question over in his mind, trying to collect his thoughts. After a moment he said, "Kate is…well, she's a police officer. A detective, actually. See, her job is to catch bad guys, and put them in jail for doing awful things. So, one of the things she is is very smart. She's also observant, which is important for a detective."

Jake looked up at him. "Is she good at her job?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely," Castle said, nodding a bit. "Sometimes maybe too good. She can get tunnel vision pretty easily."

"What's that?"

"It's where you focus on one thing too much, and you stop focusing on everything else."

"I like that term."

"It's a good term," Castle agreed.

"What else was she?" Jake pressed.

Castle wasn't sure what had gotten him so fascinated with this album and with Beckett in particular, but he continued on, saying, "She could be very funny, when she wanted to be. She didn't want to be very often, mind you, but if she really tried she could do it. She was…caring. And supportive. She would make fun of you mercilessly, but at the end of the day, there would be no doubt in your mind that she had your back," he eyed her picture and added. "She was a very good friend."

"Then why isn't it finished?"

"Wait, what?"

Jake grabbed the pages of the album, and flipped to the back, pointing at the blank pages. "It's not finished," he said again. "It just stops."

Castle sighed heavily. "It's complicated, I guess."

Jake frowned. "I hate it when adults say that. That's not a reason."

Castle smiled a bit. "No, I guess it's not," he said easily, flipping back to the second page.

"Did you guys stop being friends?" Jake asked, looking up at him again.

"Yeah, we did," Castle's eyes never left the second picture on the left page. It was a particularly happy one from their second year of being partners, taken at his annual Halloween party. There was him decked out as Poe, and Beckett was right next to him, looking normal – save for the giant worm protruding from her stomach like a pop-up book. There was a shot right below it that had everyone in the group in it, but they were on opposite ends of that photo. He liked this one much better, with Beckett's head practically on his shoulder, and them both grinning like fools. "I guess people just aren't always all you made them out to be."

"But you look so happy," Jake insisted. "Happy people don't just stop being friends."

"People…they grow apart sometimes," Castle said slowly. "There isn't always a reason." That hadn't been what had happened between them, but he didn't want to expose him to such a complicated situation. It was better to just go with a truth about life, make it sound more innocent.

Jake seemed lost in thought for a moment, and then said, "But that's how people who are in love smile."

That caught Castle off guard. "It is?"

Jake nodded, looking as if he had never been surer of anything in his life. "Yeah," he pointed to the first picture. "Those are the same smiles that my mommy and daddy give each other. She gives him that smile when he gets back from long trips too. That's the Love Smile."

Castle smiled a bit sadly. "Yeah," he chuckled. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"Knock knock."

Both boys' heads turned towards the door to find Alexis standing in the doorway, smiling at him.

"I thought you said she wasn't coming until ten!" Castle looked back at Jake.

The young boy smiled sheepishly at him. "I thought she was?"

Castle laughed, "You're a bad liar, my friend. Hop up, I'm sure your mommy wants to get home."

Jake grumbled something, but climbed down obediently, going to his mother and giving her a hug. "Mom, I love you, but I want you to know you have something called bad timing. It's okay though, it's fixable."

Alexis laughed and ruffled his hair. "We'll work on that. For now, however, I want you to go get your stuff from the living room, use the restroom, whatever you need to do to get ready to go, okay?"

"Alright," Jake agreed, and then set off.

"Sorry, I would have had him ready to go already, but I was led to believe you weren't coming until ten," Castle gave a small apologetic shrug.

Alexis waved a hand. "It's no big deal," she assured him, coming further into the office. "What were you boys looking at?"

"Oh, um," Castle shook his head. "Just some old photo album that Jake pulled out and was asking about."

He began to close it, but Alexis stuck her hand out to stop it, flipping it back open again. She gazed at it for a moment, taking in the faces that were familiar, but ones she hadn't seen in quite some time. After a while, she looked back up at her father and asked, "You've really missed her, haven't you?"

Castle sighed a bit. "Yeah, I guess I have. Big part of my life for a while."

Alexis nodded slowly, processing. "I think you should call her," she said finally.

"Excuse me?" Castle closed the album and got up to put it back on the shelf. "Weren't you the one who was all for me staying far away?"

"I know, but…" Alexis wore a dubious air about her. "I just…I don't know, you seem like you really want to call her, you know?" she shrugged. "It's not my life, Dad, and while I am worried about her hurting you again, maybe I also need to worry about how you feel." Alexis sat on the top of Castle's desk, and put her hand on his as he sat back down. "I just care, Dad. I don't want you to hurt. Period."

Castle gave her a knowing smile. "This isn't a split second decision, is it?"

"I've kinda thought a lot about it," Alexis admitted.

"So what's your final decision?"

"I need to stay out of it," Alexis smiled softly. "I can't keep treating you like you're Jake. You've got 52 years on him –"

"Thanks for that reminder."

"And I shouldn't act like I have any say in this. If you want to see her again then…" Alexis lifted her hand and let it fall again. "If you're not mad anymore, I guess I have no right to be either."

Castle eyed her cautiously with a smirk. "You sure you mean all that?"

"Yeah," Alexis said, nodding, not sounding or looking very sure at all. "It might take some practice, but…I want to mean it."

"Good enough for me," Castle chuckled. "But uh…I don't even know if I'm going to call her."

Alexis gave him a look. "You're killing me here," she told him flatly. "Why not?"

"I just don't know if I wan to drag everything back out again, you know?" Castle fidgeted with a pen. "I mean, what if you're right? What if I just get myself into the same situation I did before? I have a habit of doing that. Happened with Gina…"

"Dad, come on," Alexis looked at him almost sternly. "Even I'll admit that there is nothing similar about Detective Beckett and Gina. You want to know what I think?"

"What's that?"

"I think you should stop thinking," Alexis picked up his phone and handed it to him. "And call her. The night is young; invite her to get a drink with you. If it doesn't go the way you want, fine, you never have to call her again. But I know you, and I know it'd be better for you to find out than to sit around and wonder 'if only'."

"Maybe you're right…" Castle looked uncertainly at his phone.
"I know I am," Alexis said with a smirk. She leaned over and kissed her dad on top of his head.

"Well, here, let me walk you guys to the door, and then I'll deal with this," Castle got up and made his way to the front door with Alexis in tow, Jake waiting patiently, staring intently at the ceiling.

Castle crouched down to his level and stared upward. "What'cha looking at, bud?"

"I was just thinking some interesting thoughts," Jake informed him.

"I like interesting thoughts," Castle said. "What were these about?"

"Well, you know ceilings, right?" Jake glanced at him.

Castle suppressed a grin. "I seem to recall a few things about them."
"Well, they're mostly always white. How cool would it be if they had little sensors that sensed what you really wanted to see most? And it could just put it up there, and then your heart would feel better 'cause you could be seeing it," Jake continued to study the ceiling.

"That would be very cool indeed," Castle put a hand on his grandson's back. "I think that would make a lot of sad people very happy."

"What would you see if you had one?" Jake's eyes left the ceiling for the first time in a while.

"I would see you, your mother, and your dad," Castle told him. "I always want to see you three."

"But what if you were already with us?"

"Well then I wouldn't be missing anything."

"But if you had to pick."

"I couldn't pick anything else, what would you see?"
"I don't know, maybe us riding on the back of a T-Rex. I really want to see that."

Castle laughed again, "That would be pretty awesome. I think your mommy is waiting for us to get done talking though, so maybe this conversation should be continued another time."

"Okay," Jake smiled at him. "Bye Grandpa, I love you!"

"Bye, buddy," Castle hugged him and kissed the side of his head. "I love you too. We'll hang Sunday, okay?"

"Alrighty," Jake's smile had morphed into a grin.

Castle stood, and embraced Alexis as well. "Drive safe, Pumpkin."

"Will do, Dad," Alexis smiled warmly at him. "Come on Jake, hold Mommy's hand."

Castle closed the door behind them and locked it – his mother could use her key for once – and meandered back into his study. He sat down in his chair, and looked out the window. After a few moments, he opened the middle drawer of his desk and took out the napkin with Beckett's number and looked at it. Her handwriting – even with numbers – was so distinct to him. The way the numbers seven and zero had little slashes through them, the point on the top of the four, the giant curve in the two. It was familiar. Almost comforting in an inexplicable way.

His mind was made up.

Castle grabbed his phone from beside him, and took his time typing in the numbers. Was he really doing this? It seemed to him that it meant a lot, calling to see her again after all these years. There was a chance that he was reading too much into it, but nothing was what it seemed on the surface with them, so he deemed it unlikely. He waited as it rung for what seemed like forever.
"Beckett," she answered, sounding formal. He guessed she didn't recognize the number.

"Uh, hey," Castle said awkwardly. "It's Castle."

"Oh, hey!" Beckett's voice was instantly warmer. It was funny how they had the same reactions that they had back then. Perhaps that was something in your core, something you couldn't forget.

"What are you up to?" Castle did his best to sound casual, suddenly unsure what to say.

"Oh, just heading out of the office for the night. Hold on one sec," the phone sounded as if it was being covered by her hand, and he heard a muffled "Mind your own business, Esposito."

Castle couldn't help but smile.

"Anyway, sorry, what's new with you?" Beckett's voice was accompanied by the soft ding of the elevator doors, and a flood of memories hit him again.

"Jake and Alexis just went home. Actually, I was kind of wondering if you had plans for tonight," Castle chose his words carefully. Why did this feel so much like asking her out on a date?

"No, not really," a car door shut and an engine started. "I actually haven't even gotten that far yet. It's been kind of a crazy day."

"Well, would you maybe want to grab a drink at the Old Haunt? I'm buying," Castle tried.

"Yeah, actually that sounds nice," Beckett's voice sounded like a smile. "I'll meet you there in ten?"

"Sounds good," Castle smiled yet again. "I'll see you then."

"Okay, bye," Beckett said, sounding ever so slightly excited, and then hung up.

Castle looked up at his ceiling, and it occurred to him that if Jake's invention were real, at that moment, Beckett's face would have lit it up.