I do not own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended. Just in case you forgot.

Thanks to venomousgal for her help!

In three steps, I was off the bed and standing in front of Edward, who now had an unreadable expression on his face.

I didn't want to analyze his expression or any of the things I would normal go over and over again in my head.

I grabbed his biceps to steady myself and stood up on my tiptoes, pressing my lips to his.

0-0

Edwards lips were warm and soft against mine. So, so soft. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the moment and feel of Edwards lean muscles under my hands and the tingling of his lips on mine.

I began moving my lips against him; slowly, tentatively. I was so caught up in the moment and in awe of how right this felt, that I continued on for nearly a minute before I realized that Edward wasn't moving.

At all.

And his body was tense and rigid.

Horrified at what I had done, I pulled back quickly, releasing him from my grip.

He looked...terrified. His eyes were wide and his lips pressed in a tight line, his shoulders hunched and his fists clenched tightly at his sides.

Edward hated it.

Oh. My. God.

What did I just do? I practically assaulted him and thought he liked it!

Of course he wasn't going to be like, "Sorry, Bella, but the thought of kissing you repulses me."

"I am so sorry!" I apologized. "I don't know why I did that. Oh my God. Okay, I have to go. I can see myself out."

I was thankful I had already put my shoes back on, so I could make a quick exit.

As I flew past Edward, it didn't escape my notice that he made no move to stop me, didn't even look at me.

But I swore that I heard him call my name as I ran out of his room and down the stairs.

0-0

Sleep didn't come to me that night and when I heard the tires of Charlies cruiser crunching on the gravel outside, I threw a blanket over my shoulders and went downstairs to greet him.

"Hey, Dad," I said with a yawn as he hung up his gun belt and jacket.

"Morning, Bells." Charlie greeted, turning to face me. "You don't look so great, kid. Are you feeling alright?"

"Umm..." This was my out. "No, I didn't sleep last night. I have a headache. And my throat is sore. I don't think I should go to school today."

Charlie looked at me intently. "Yeah, there's some sort of virus going around. Maybe I should call Doctor Cullen and see if he can fit you in, just to make sure you don't need antibiotics or something."

"No!" I shouted, my voice cracking. "No, I mean, I'm sure I can just sleep it off. I'll be fine, really."

"Alright," Charlie agreed. "I'm going to get some sleep. I have to be back at the station by three. Unless you want me to stay here with you?"

I felt guilty. Like, really, really guilty. I mess up everything. Now I was making my dad concerned about my physical health, when really, it's my mental health that's all screwed up.

After assuring him that I would be fine and that I would wake him up or call him once he left for work if I needed anything, we both headed upstairs to our respective bedrooms.

It wasn't long before I heard Charlie's chainsaw snoring seep through my closed door.

Eventually, the need for rest overrode my running mind and I fell into a deep sleep.

The sound of the front door slamming reverberated through the old house, waking me.

Glancing at the analog clock on my nightstand, I saw that it was quarter to three, meaning Charlie had just left for work. Judging from the dark, angry looking clouds I could see out my bedroom window, it would be raining soon.

I sat up in bed, noticing how my head began to throb with the movement and my throat felt a little raw.

Great. I was actually becoming sick.

After taking two Tylenol PMs from the medicine cabinet and washing them down with water, I headed back to bed, nestling myself deep in the covers, shutting my eyes and letting the medicine begin to work.

I didn't go to school on Thursday or Friday, either. I had turned my phone off at some point on Tuesday and decided to turn it on Friday afternoon.

My phone instantly beeped, signaling missed calls, texts and voicemails.

It wasn't what I expected, though. Jessica had called once, not bothering to leave me a voicemail and had also texted me, asking if I could turn in her Spanish homework with mine, since she wanted to skip class to have a long lunch with Mike.

Rose had called me a few times, the most recently at lunch on Friday. She hadn't left any messages though.

Lauren hadn't tried to contact me.

Angela and Victoria called me each once, leaving concerned messages, asking if I was okay and reminding me that if I needed anything, to just call them.

Edward hadn't called.

I didn't really expect him to. But I still really, really hoped that he would. I gave him so many mixed signals on everything it was no wonder that he rejected me.

By the time Saturday morning rolled around, I was feeling a lot better. I still had a sinking feeling in my stomach, but my cold seemed to have let up, leaving me with a slightly stuffy nose. Dragging myself out of the warm comfort of my bed, I showered for the first time in two days, taking extra time to wash my face with apricot scrub and shave my legs. Trying to make myself feel somewhat normal.

When I got downstairs, Charlie was frying up eggs and bacon.

"Morning, Bells. You feeling better?" He asked me, pouring me a cup of orange juice.

"Yeah, actually." I responded, taking the cup of juice and drinking.

"That's good."

I leaned up against the counter, studying my dad. Something was...different. He still looked the same, but seemed lighter. Happier? Plus he was cooking something that required more than boiling water.

"What's gotten into you?" I asked.

"What? What do you mean?" Charlie asked, feigning ignorance.

I could see right through him. Liar.

"I mean, you're cooking. You're kind of smiling. You seem different," I pointed out.

Charlie sighed, mumbling something about me being always so damn observant, just like my mother.

"Gee, Bella. This isn't quite how I wanted to do this. Why don't you make some toast and set the table, then we'll talk."

He finished up frying the bacon, laying it on pieces of paper towel to soak up the grease as I toasted and buttered bread.

After everything was plated, we sat down together. I expected him to bring whatever it was on his mind up, but after a few minutes of eating, it was clear he was trying to avoid it.

"Come on, dad. What's going on. It's not something bad, right? I mean, cause if it was, you wouldn't be smiling."

Charlie set down his fork on his plate and cleared his throat.

"Well, now. A couple of weeks ago, when I was visiting the Blacks, they had one of their friends over, Sue Clearwater. Sue's husband, Harry, was a good friend of mine; a good man. He passed a few years ago and Sue moved away with her two kids, Seth and Leah. But, they've recently moved back to the reservation."

He paused, letting me digest the information.

I nodded. "Okay...and?"

"And well," Charlie scratched the back of his neck, looking nervous. "We kind of hit it off. Harry has been gone a few years and Sue mentioned being ready to move on. We, uh...we're going out tonight."

If I hadn't been sitting down, I'm pretty sure I would have fallen backwards. Even sitting down, I felt like I would fall off my chair.

Charlie never had girlfriends. There were never any women, friend or otherwise, at the house during any of my visits over the years.

I knew that he was still hung up on my mother and a part of him would always be. She was his first love and the dissolution of their marriage and mine and Renee's subsequent move across the country left him somewhat blindsided and alone.

Charlie was looking at me anxiously, waiting for me to respond.

"Wow, Dad. That's...awesome." I told him, for lack of a better word.

"Awesome?" He clarified, "So you're okay with this?"

"Of course, dad. I want you to be happy. I think it's good you finally met someone. Really good."

"So, if this becomes serious, you'll be okay with me being gone some, her coming over here and meeting her and her kids?" He questioned, staring to gauge my reaction.

I was a little weary on the whole kids aspect. What if they were brats? Or what if they were jerks?

I shook my head, clearing myself of the nagging thoughts. I was going to be happy for Charlie. He deserved it.

"It's fine, dad. Besides, it's only the first date...right? Take it in stride. Whatever happens, happens."

Sometimes, I wished I took my own advice.

The rest of the day went by pretty normally. I did a few loads of laundry and ironed Charlie's dress pants and a navy blue button down shirt.

He told me he was taking Sue to a nice restaurant and then, since she mentioned she was interested in jazz, he had found a small jazz club in Port Angeles as well.

Charlie was the most nervous I had ever seen him. He was pretty clueless on the whole dating thing, I mean, it had been almost twenty years since he went on a date with my mom. I didn't blame him.

He left a around five forty-five, wanting to stop by the florist to get Sue a bouquet of flowers.

I ordered a pizza for dinner and folded the last of the laundry until it came. Once it arrived, I curled up on the couch, throwing a blanket over me and turn on the television, determined to enjoy some mind-numbing entertainment for a few hours.

Around nine, I got tired of watching infomercials and cheesy sitcoms. I had done a good job of blocking out Tuesday's events, but they were always there, nagging my mind.

I needed to talk to someone.

If Edward had talked to any of the group about what happened, surely their loyalty would be with him. They were friends with him first and I wouldn't blame them.

Clearly, Rosalie, Jessica and Lauren were out of the question.

I could call Alice or Jane, but we didn't really have that kind of friendship. I didn't feel a hundred percent comfortable with just calling them up and asking for advice, or to lend an ear.

So, I did what any other teenage girl with no friends to turn to would do; I called my mommy.

It was midnight in Jacksonville. I felt bad calling this late at night, but I figured she would still be up. Besides, this was an emergency.

"Hello?" Renee answered on the second ring.

I could barely hear her voice over the phone. There was a lot of noise, talking, and loud music in the background.

"Are you...are you having a house party?" I asked.

Renee laughed. "Oh, no. I'm hosting a dinner party, dear."

"I'm sorry I disrupted you then...I can just call back tomorrow."

"No, Bella. Don't. I can always make time for my daughter." I could hear her feet shuffling as the noise got quieter. Eventually, I heard the closing of a door and the groan of her old mattress as she sat on it.

"I needed a break, anyways." She continued. "Been on my feet for hours. It's a lot of work to cook for ten guests, plus Phil and me."

"I can imagine," I said quietly, wondering what on earth she could have possibly cooked for a dinner party. She was terrible in the kitchen. Or in anything else slightly domestic.

"How's the whole...being pregnant thing going for you? Are you sure you don't want to find out the sex?" Renee had her sixteenth week ultrasound and in a last minute decision, her and Phil had decided they wanted the baby to be a surprise.

"Oh, come on, Bella. I know you really want to find out, but there are so few surprises nowadays. Besides, these next months will go by so fast, before you know it you'll be holding little baby Dwyer and helping me change dirty diapers.

I cringed at the thought of cleaning dirty diapers. My mom was almost halfway through her pregnancy. It was weird. As selfish as it sounded, I really didn't want to think about the baby; about the changes they would bring.

"Anyways, I gather that this isn't a purely social call, is it Bella?" She asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Well...no. It's not. Remember that guy I told you about? Edward?"

"Is that boy being mean to you? Now, Bella, you may like the guy, but you don't have to deal with a guy who treats you badly."

"No, mom. Nothing like that. Edward is..." I tried to think of an appropriate word to use to describe my 'relationship' with Edward. "Nice."

"Oh. Then what's the problem?" Renee asked, sounding confused.

I told her about how Rose told Jessica and Lauren and in turn probably the whole school. The intervention staged by Lauren and Jessica and how quick were to turn their backs on me. How I hadn't gone to school in the past few days. All finished off by the fact that I had kissed Edward Cullen in a moment of...weakness...and subsequently ran out after he had stayed as still as a statue.

"Maybe you just caught him off guard. It's not necessarily a bad thing that he didn't react," Renee offered.

No matter how brief the relationship, my mom had tons of boyfriends in the past, I thought she could offer some good advice or insight. Apparently not.

"He hasn't called, mom. He hasn't called and it's been three days. If the act of kissing me didn't completely repulse him, he would have called by now," I huffed. Feeling frustrated and annoyed.

"I'm sorry, honey. Just go to school Monday with your head held high and say screw 'em and move on."

"I guess," I sighed. While I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to hear, I knew that wasn't it. "I'm gonna let you get going now. You should have Phil kick out all your guests. It's late. You're pregnant. Sleep. I'll talk to you later...okay?"

I went to bed that night not feeling very comforted by my mother, but somehow, sleep came easier.

0-0

Since my first day at Forks high when I had been instantly accepted into a group, I had never once sat alone at lunch.

Yet here I was, sitting alone in my car, eating a PB and J, listening to the sounds of rain pouring down around me.

Monday morning was the first day I had ever gone to school with a sick feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach since my first day.

I dressed in faded, comfortable jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt and a heavy raincoat, pulling both hoods over my head.

Making myself appear invisible wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Underneath the dark, drab colors of my classmates raincoats, we all tended to blend in. Jessica didn't talk to me in Spanish, didn't even look in my direction as I walked into the classroom as she was already sitting in the desk behind mine.

Which brings me to now. With rain thundering down around me, I bit my lip in effort to curb the urge to cry. I wouldn't cry. I couldn't. I had no reason, no right. I was being a stupid, silly, dumb little girl.

As the day progressed, the knot in my stomach grew tighter, knowing that Biology, by the time fifth period was nearing its end, I watched the clock as it slowly ticked, marking the seconds to 1:10.

I wondered if Edward would be in class. Would he talk to me? Would he ignore me?

The bell rang and I didn't have any more time to over think sixth period. My feet moved on their own accord as I walk down the hall towards the science wing.

Edward was already sitting down at his desk, writing in the notebook as I so often saw him do. I tentatively sat down at the chair next to his, but didn't attempt eye contact or even a smile.

He hated me. He had to.

Biology wasn't over fast enough and this time I was the one that found myself leaping out of my seat seconds before the bell rang.

After a rousing game of dodgeball in PE, I dressed back in my school clothes and headed home, but not before banging my head repeatedly against the steering wheel.

The end of the school year couldn't come fast enough.

0-0

"Edward? Edward." He grabbed me, catching me by surprise as he pushed me up against the wall on his front porch.

"You're so pretty, so beautiful," he murmured into my hair. I could feel him, all of him as he was pressed against me, so, so tight.

His lips trailed a path down my hair, my jaw. He felt so good. Too good.

As his lips found his way to my neck, he nipped at a particularly sensitive part at the juncture of my neck and shoulder, causing me to shudder.

I groaned, giving into sensation. His lips and breath were hot against my cool skin.

That seemed to spur him on and he pressed himself impossibly tighter against me. My hands weaved in his hair, tugging at the bronze locks while bringing his face closer to mine. He was all hard planes and softness. Hard, lean muscle under his sweater. Soft hair. Soft lips. Gentle, demanding kisses.

I looked up at him through hooded eyes and giggled, seeing that his glasses were steamed up. I plucked them off his face, tossing them onto the bench besides us.

Edward crouched down slightly, grabbing one of my thighs in his hands and hitching it around his waist. Taking the hint, wrapped my other leg around his waist.

"I need you, Bella." He groaned as he ground himself into me. He was so hard. I needed him, too.

Supporting me with one hand and using the wall as leverage, he snaked a hand down between us, attempting to work the buttons of my jeans with one hand.

"Edward, we're outside. We're on your front porch. Your parents are right inside!" I tried to reason.

His mouth captured mine, making my resolve weaken until it disappeared.

"My parents are asleep and it's pitch black out. Now shush," he commanded. I gave in completely as he finally got my jeans undone and his hand slipped beneath my panties to where I wanted it the most.

0-0

The past four nights since I had seen him at school Monday, I had dirty dreams involving Edward Cullen that always ended in me waking up, my hands down my underpants, before anything good actually go to happen.

School had been the same the rest of the week; Jessica and Lauren ignoring me and avoiding Rosalie and the others. Edward only spoke to me when necessary, which wasn't that often. Apparently, Mr. Banner thought that this week would be an excellent week to lecture.

The recently development of dreaming about Edward brought things up to an entirely new level of awkward. All I could think about was how realistic the dreams were and would find myself fighting to keep from staring at his lips during biology and imagining them on mine.

Hopefully, he didn't notice.

It felt weird, but right all at the same time to imagine myself being with Edward like that. He always said nice things to me in my dreams, he wanted me, desired me. It hurt to think about when I was awake, but I couldn't help myself. I was a huge masochist that relished in the feeling of a 'what if' that would never come true.

One of the things that surprised me the most during my week of being a self proclaimed pariah was how little I missed Lauren and Jessica. The anger towards them had begun to fade, but it was still there. After all, I knew how cruel they could be to others, so it wasn't too much of a shock when they turned on me.

We had been friends for over a year. They, along with Rose were my closest friends. Shouldn't I miss them? Shouldn't I miss the shopping and the gossiping and late, drunken nights?

I did miss Rose, in a way. I wanted to talk to her, ask her why she would betray me like that. But each time I thought of what she did, how she could do that to me, in front of me, the tears started to well up and I didn't want her to see me cry.

I hated that my new friendships with Victoria, Angela and the guys were cut short. I was just beginning to find out more about them and see how much we really do have in common.

I think Charlie could tell that I was in a bad mood; either that or Renee had called and filled him in, because Friday night he came home with DVDs I knew he would never pick out himself, like Jane Austen and Romeo and Juliet. We sat on the couch, eating pizza and brownies that Sue had apparently stopped by his work with.

Romeo and Juliet made me cry, like it always does and Charlie, without glancing my way, passed me a box of tissues as soon as he heard my sniffling begin. I know I fell asleep on the couch, but when I woke up, Charlie had already left for work and I was tucked warmly under the covers.

I was in the kitchen, wearing sweats and a t-shirt, drinking orange juice and eating toast when there were three sharp knocks on the door.

I absentmindedly wondered who it would be. After all, I was definitely not expecting any visitors, especially this early and anyone who knew Charlie would go to the station before checking here.

Unlocking the deadbolt, I opened the door.

"I think we need to have a little chat."

Cliffhanger again. I know, I suck. I also suck at updating, so I won't make any promises, other than that I'll try to update in a more timely manner! If you want to get on my back about updating, or just come and chat with me, i'm on twitter (at)HappyMess89

In the mean time my good friend luv4jake does rec's on her profile and blog every month. Maybe you'll find something you like www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~luv4jake

My other half, Tropical Sorbet has a new story out that is only three chapters in, but its too good to not read. I also happen to beta for her. It's called Edroar the Angry Lion

Summary: Edroar the Angry Lion frightens all the girls and boys at Cullen Publishing with his loud roar. Will his new masseuse Bella Swan run away like all the rest, or can she tame this savage beast? AH/AU OOC www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6037621/1/