* PLEASE READ A/N * PLEASE READ A/N *

I would like to address a few reviews I have received regarding the vocabulary and actions of Castle's grandson in the story, Jake. I am well aware that he would be extremely advanced for a two-year-old. His age was something that I threw out there in the first chapter and then - much like Beckett's lie - I had to keep up, even though he had to be a bit more vocal for the part I wanted him to play. In order to make the story more readable to those of you who have an issue with this, I will refrain from mentioning the child's age in further chapters, and you may adjust his age as you wish, as it does not affect the story. In truth, Jake's age has nothing to do with the main plot of the story, and the focus remains on Castle and Beckett. Thank you, and I hope I didn't lose any of you to such a small issue.

And, as always, thank you for all the love from the majority of you. I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to your lovely reviews, but I value you all.

I own nothing, and am in no way connected to ABC. I wouldn't say "no" to a job writing for Castle, however.

"Been a while since I've been in this place," Beckett said, looking around the loft as she hung up her jacket. "Still looks the same."

"I'm not much of one for redecorating," Castle told her as they walked in the kitchen. "You want something to drink?"

"Maybe just water, I kind of want to be thinking clearly for this," Beckett replied, sitting on a bar stool at the island.

Castle frowned at the beer that he had pulled from the fridge, and then put it back, grabbing two bottles of water instead. He took a seat next to her, and passed her one of the bottles. "So…" he began, fidgeting with the bottle. "What now?"

Beckett shrugged a bit. "You tell me," she looked at him. "What do you still need to talk through?"

Castle let out a long breath through his mouth and rubbed his forehead a bit. "Can we just talk about the lie for a second?"

Beckett nodded once. She didn't really have much choice in the matter, did she? "If that's what needs to happen, then fine. Ask any question you want."

"I guess I just…I still don't understand why," Castle made eye contact with her for the briefest of seconds, and then looked away again. "After everything we had been through at that point, how close we'd gotten…how could you lie to me like that? Why? Especially about something that huge?"

Beckett picked at the label on her water absently. "It wasn't easy," she started slowly. "I did it because…I almost said it back. When you said it in the graveyard, I tried to say it back, but I couldn't quite make my mouth form the words. Everything was starting to go black and fuzzy, but I tried my hardest to say it back. That was the first thing I thought about when I woke up. Josh was there but…I couldn't stop thinking about it. I thought about it a lot, Rick…"

Castle was dismayed at the way he still enjoyed her saying his first name. She always had chosen the perfect moment to say it, soft, and full of meaning. Like a secret.

"…And I just kept lining up all the reasons why it wasn't the right time in my mind," Beckett continued. "I had a boyfriend, Montgomery had just died, I didn't want to be emotionally compromised just because I was shot, I didn't want to risk what we had, everything in my mother's case was just gone…" she shook her head. "It was a lot to take on. A list like that can be pretty persuasive, especially when you're lying in a hospital bed. There was also the danger factor. If I was getting shot at, I didn't want anyone else getting involved in the case."

"So…why?" Castle locked eyes with her. "Just tell me, please."

"I did it to protect you," Beckett told him. "From the case, from the people hunting me, from me alone…I didn't want you to get hurt. Physically or emotionally. It just seemed like the best thing for you. At the time, my mom's case was still the basis of my life. I'm not saying that was right, or even excusable, but it's the truth. I felt the same way but I wasn't ready to shift my focus yet, I wasn't ready to take the risk. So…I lied. And I'm sorry."

Castle processed for a moment, and then said. "I gave you multiple opportunities to take it back. You could have told me the truth at any time. It takes a lot to keep a secret for almost a year."

"I was waiting for the right time," Beckett explained. "It never came. And then when I was ready to tell you, you were ready to move on."

"And what were you going to do if I hadn't? What if you told me, and I said I felt the same way, and we got together? What would you have done about it then?" Castle pressed. "It just doesn't make sense to me."

"I don't know what I would have done. It wasn't something that was meticulously planned; it was the kind of thing I took one day at a time. And it's not something you can make sense of, it only ever makes sense to the person who does it," Beckett took a drink of water, and then took her time putting the cap back on. "I don't know what else to say about it except that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry it got to you before I could explain myself, I'm sorry you got hurt, and I'm sorry it tore us apart. The time to have this conversation was fourteen years ago, and I guess I'm sorry for that too. I would go back and change it if I could, but I can't do that," she looked at her hands. "So, I guess that's all I've got."

"When I first heard you…" Castle shook his head. "I remember thinking that I'd never felt more betrayed by anyone in my life. It had always been different with us, we had always been different. I couldn't believe that you had ever told me anything less than the truth. I was standing there, thinking that maybe we had finally reached that place where we could be together, and then…" he lifted a hand and let it fall back to the counter. "I mean…yeah, it hurt. I was hurt. That's an understatement, actually. It was a whole new kind of hurt. Something I hadn't felt with Meredith, or Gina, or anyone else. I hated you in that split second. You went from someone to write books about to someone to be avoided. I remember telling my mother that I could ignore what I was feeling and work beside you. Just bottle it up and keep my mouth shut for the rest of our partnership…but I couldn't stand it any more by the end of that case. And that's why I did what I did."

"But is what we did to each other so different?" Beckett asked rhetorically. "I didn't talk to you about what my issues were, but you weren't exactly forthcoming either. I cried when you left. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't stop. I kept berating myself over, and over for ever letting you in in the first place. It was the pain of losing someone all over again. If it weren't for Esposito and Ryan…well, I don't know what would have happened. So, you tell me, who did the worse thing? It seems to me that they're just about equal."

"What are you getting at?"

"Fourteen years have passed. We both hurt each other badly, neither of us handled our specific situations very well, and we're both sorry," Beckett searched his face for a moment. "It's time to move on."

Castle stared back at her for a moment, and then said, "But how do we do that? We can't go back to the way things were. Too much time has passed, too much has changed, we've said too much, it's impossible."

"Then we move forward," Beckett said definitively, still holding eye contact. "I've lost a lot to the way I used to live my life," she said almost quietly. "I can't bring my mom back, or Montgomery, or Royce, or anyone else. But we have a chance to fix things with us. I want to give it a fighting chance. Those years with you meant…so much to me. And I've changed since you left; I don't let things pass me by any more. I want to try."

Castle looked away for a moment. It was so much in such a short amount of time. He felt himself being pulled in different directions, recognized several different emotions swirling around in his head. There was still a sharp edge of anger, but there was also a soft pool of happy, all surrounded by a hazy air of remembrance. Was fourteen years enough time to forgive a hurt like the one he had experienced? Could you ever really move on? His head swiveled back to her, and he found her eyes again. "We were in love," he said with a softer look on his face.

"We were in love," Beckett repeated.

"Do you think…" Castle searched for the right words. "Do you think that there might still be something here?"

"I do," Beckett looked at her hands again, and then glanced back up at him. "Do you?"

Castle thought for a second, and then nodded slowly. "Yeah, I do."

Beckett gave him a small smile. "Then can we try?"

Despite himself, Castle smiled back. "I think we should," he told her. "The only question is how to do that. We have a unique situation on our hands. We can't just pick up where we left off. We know that we had feelings for each other, we know that there's something here, and – the key difference between then and now – we're talking about them."

"So what are you suggesting?" Beckett asked.

"I'm suggesting that we keep doing what we're doing now, but…more so," Castle said carefully. "Maybe get dinner now and again, go to Central Park…things like that."

Another smile crawled across Beckett's face. "Richard Castle, are you asking me out on a date?"

Castle chuckled. "It's the only way I can think of to move us forward without depending on the past," he said. "And if we realize that we have nothing in common any more, or the spark is gone, then we can put it to bed…but I don't think we'll have that problem. We can just take it slow, nothing official yet. Get caught up; get to know each other again. But we'd still be moving. I'm sick of standing still. I don't want to waste any more time, we've done enough of that. Almost two decades, in fact. What do you say?"

Beckett's smile stayed tacked in place as she said, "Sounds like a plan to me."

Castle grinned at her, and stood up. "Hey, are you hungry at all? I know you came from work to the bar, so you probably didn't eat yet, right?"

"No, I didn't, but it's okay, I can just grab something on the way home," Beckett told him.

"I didn't let you skip meals because of work when we were partners, and I'm not about to start now," Castle began pulling eggs and cheese out of the refrigerator. "Besides, I'm starting to get hungry too."

"Gee, I wonder why," Beckett said sarcastically.

"They don't make ice cream as filling as they used to," Castle laughed. "Egg and cheese sandwiches okay with you?"

"Sounds great," Beckett said. "Thanks."

Castle started cracking eggs and opened his mouth to say something when the front door was flung open, and then slammed shut again.

Beckett raised her eyebrows in Castle's direction.

"Mother's home," he said casually, pouring the mixed eggs into a hot pan.

There were sounds of huffing, rustling, and discontented murmuring, and then Martha came marching into the kitchen. "Richard, you will never believe what happened. I was teaching a class a –" she stopped abruptly as her eyes fell on Beckett. "Oh…my. Kate Beckett?" she asked almost incredulously.

"Hello, Martha," Beckett greeted with a warm smile. "It's nice to see you again."

Martha hurried over to Beckett and wrapped her in a rather large hug, "Oh, you have no idea my dear. Hold on, let me look at you," she stepped back and put her hands on Beckett's face turning it back and forth a bit. "Oh, to look like you do at your age! I already looked about ten years older, and you look about ten years younger. Granted, I was busy trying to keep up with a demanding child as well as a career," she cast a pointed glance over her shoulder at Castle.

"Yes, I've heard hiring a nanny can give one some wicked crow's feet," Castle quipped without looking up.

Martha waved a hand at him and turned back to Beckett, saying, "The point is, my dear, you look marvelous."

Beckett smiled back at her. "You look wonderful yourself, as always."

"Oh, you're too kind my dear, you're too kind," Martha patted her hand, and then pointed a finger at Castle. "You're not letting her leave again, you hear me?"

"We were actually in the middle of discussing that before you interrupted us," Castle informed her.

A look of realization passed over Martha's face. "Ah," she said, looking a bit awkward. "Well, I…I've just remembered that I have to go read a script that I was asked to look at by a valued student. I want to get it to her by Monday, so perhaps I'll go do that," she turned back to Beckett a final time. "It really was delightful to see you again, I do hope to see you again soon."

"It was good to see you too," Beckett said genuinely. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you."

Martha smiled at her, and then departed from the room.

The kitchen fell silent again, and Castle continued to cook. After a few minutes, he sat two sandwiches on the bar at their respective spots and took a seat again. With the air finally clear between them, they felt free to discuss their partner days. They ate, and laughed, and talked and talked. They talked about the day they met, their many "almost" dates, almost dying, and even the kiss that they had only ever been brought up once – they had both enjoyed it more than they should have. For the first time since That Night, it was beginning to feel like the old them. Their old rhythm was being picked up exactly where they had dropped it. Some things never change, even while everything else is being ripped up by the roots.

It was midnight by the time they even began to run out of steam. Beckett checked her watch and sighed. "I should probably get going. It's getting late."

Castle sighed. "Yeah, I don't want to keep you out to a ridiculous hour," he picked up their plates and dropped them in the sink. "Uh, what day do you have off this week?"

"Tomorrow. Why?" Beckett stood and stretched.

"Oh, I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to meet up for lunch or something," Castle's tone held a hint of something that would have sounded like shyness to Beckett if she didn't know him better.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Beckett made her way into the foyer with Castle close behind and began to put on her jacket. "I have a few errands to run tomorrow, but I'll call you?"

"Sure thing, I don't have any other plans," Castle smiled. "Oh, do you need my number?"

"No, I still have it in my call list, I can just get it from there."

"Oh, right."

"Yeah."

The duo stared at each other awkwardly for a minute, uncertain of how to say goodbye. After what felt like an eternity, they both stepped forward and hugged the other. Castle gave her hand a little squeeze when they parted and said, "I'll see you tomorrow. Drive safe."

"Will do, see you then," Beckett gave him one last smile, and then slipped out the door.

Castle shut the door behind her, and then leaned against it. One thought fought it's way to the front of his mind…

He hoped they could make it.