Summary: Alice and Jasper have taken Emmett and Edward to Alaska on a hunting trip. Bella hasn't gone to the Cullen house in a few days, but suddenly, she urgently needs to speak to one of them. But what about? (Includes mature themes! warning!)

This is a short story, probably around 10-15 chapters depending on how fast or slow the story goes, etc. It includes dark theme's so please don't read unless you can handle this...


Even though I didn't have super sonic hearing, I could tell the 3 vampires in the house all froze when I said those 3 words.

I closed my eyes, clenched my fists, wishing I could take those words back. How could I have been so stupid to think they'd actually care about me? I was impure for hell's sake! I was ruined, stolen of my innocence, dirty and shameful. How could people as perfect as them ever love me again?

Especially Edward. He had such strong views on purity. Above all, the whole 'no sex before marriage' thing. We'd both come to an agreement one night that when we did get married (this was Edward's biggest dream) we'd at least try. You know; the sex thing. So all this time I'd been keeping myself pure, to be special when I finally connected with Edward, only to have it stolen from me days before now. I was so ashamed. He wouldn't stay with me now. Definitely not.

"Bella?" Rosalie was shaking me, holding me in her stone arms. "It's alright Bella. You're in the present. It's all okay. It's Rose."

"Rose!" I whispered, tears blubbering at my eyes. The guilt and dirt was coming at me all over again. How could she hold me when I was so dirty and impure?

"Oh, Bella." She looked down at me, hurt on her face. She stroked away my tears, cradling me at the back of my neck. "Dear, sweet Bella." She pulled me close to her stone chest, rocking me back and forth and singing to me as if I was baby.

I felt another pair of hands gently rubbing my arm and I tried not to flinch at the familiar touch. My rapist had did that, comforted me before the big theft.

I turned my head to see Esme, venom tears streaked on the side of her eyes. She gave me a sad smile, and reached up to stroke my face.

Behind her I saw Carlisle, standing stiff with his hands clenched into fists. I melted into Rosalie's embrace even more, thankful for the cover. He was scaring me – standing there all big and strong.

He studied me, his golden eyes swirling with all kinds of emotions. "Bella," His voice was pained. "Are you scared of me?"

I stared at him, grateful for his honestly. "Yes." I admitted inaudibly. "But only a little."

He nodded, his bottom lip disappearing behind his top. He was thinking about something. He moved to the side, sitting down beside Rosalie on the couch.

My entire body tensed, my nails digging into Rosalie's back. She gently spoke to me and I instantly relaxed. How could I not? Rosalie would be a great mom…

Carlisle gave me the same sad smile Esme had seconds earlier. "Bella, I know this is so hard, but can you tell me who did this to you?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, burrowing my head in Rosalie's chest so they couldn't see my tears. I knew they'd be able to smell them though. "Jacob." I grumbled. His name took all the power out of me and I crumbled. I started lashing out.

"Shh, shh." Rosalie cooed. She quickly grabbed my moving limbs and held them in place. "Bella don't. It's alright. He can't hurt you anymore. We won't let him." A low snarl slipped out from her mouth and I covered my ears. She quickly apologized.

Esme and Carlisle had reacted the same way – both of them growling and snarling. I was so afraid. Where had my loving parents gone?

Esme composed herself first, laying a reassuring hand on Carlisle to cool him down. He did recover soon after, but anger still swirled in his eyes.

I closed my eyes briefly and took a deep breath. I had once again caused pain on this family.

"Esme, call Alice, its obvious now why she didn't see anything wrong with Bella. Tell them to come home as soon as possible, but don't tell them why. Edward will freak." He told Esme. He then turned to Rose once Esme left. I couldn't stop her. "Bring Bella up to my office." Then he was gone. Just like that.

I looked to Rosalie, my heart thumping in my chest. What was happening? She gave my face an encouraging stroke before she carried me at normal speed to Carlisle's office. She gave me a few seconds to breathe before she opened the door and stepped into the warm, cosy room.

Carlisle had his back to us but I could clearly see his medical bag. I nearly stopped breathing. I hated anything to do with the hospital, equipment included. Without turning he spoke. "Place her on the table, Rose, and then take a seat."

She followed his instructions and then pulled a chair up next to me. She offered her hand and I took it quickly. "It'll be okay honey." She whispered. "No one was there to help me and examine me, but I know what you are feeling. Just hold on for me, it gets better."

I didn't believe that. Once the others were home it'd be so much worse. What would they think of me? It couldn't possibly get better.

Carlisle came towards the table with his bag. He placed it on the table to the side of the bed and looked at me. "Bella, I'm going to need to do a physical exam from head to toe. And, you have the option of doing a rape kit. Though, I do strongly recommend it if you want to press charges against Jacob."

I stared up at the ceiling, tears bubbling in my eyes again. Carlisle was going to examine me – everywhere. He'd not only be able to see my body, but the cuts that I'd inflicted on myself. He wouldn't miss them. Also, a rape kit? I had to press charges against Jacob, didn't I? He stole my innocence from me, and possibly my lover too. How could Edward ever accept this?

I agreed to the medical exam but told Carlisle I wanted to wait till later for the rape kit, and Rosalie helped me off of the table. "Come with me Bella, we'll go and change you in my room." She took the medical gown from Carlisle and led me to her bedroom.

I stood there, not even moving. I didn't want to take off my clothes. What about my cuts? What about the word?

I was going to have to show them…tell them. I was in for even more crap. Edward definitely wouldn't love me now, with these scars too.

"He's not going to love me!" I blurted out before I even realized it. I lurched myself at her again.

"Who? Edward?" She pulled me back so she could study me. "Bella, Edward loves you very, very much. This wasn't your fault at all, please don't take blame. It wasn't your fault. You're going to be okay, we'll press charges and if we need to we'll get you help, okay?"

I nodded, but then looked down at my feet. "Rose…I cut myself."

I don't know why I said it. Maybe I thought it'd be better for me in the long run. If I got dressed into the medical gown and let them find out themselves I think they'd be pretty mad. If I was honest with them maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

The blond-haired vampire froze. Her eyes flashed black and then melted back to the gold I liked. "Bella, can you repeat that? In easier terms?"

"I hurt myself…on purpose." I hardly got the words out, and any human probably wouldn't understand. But of course, the three of them could. They were vampires, duh.

"Oh, Bella, you didn't…" A wave of guilt came over me again as I saw the pain in Rosalie's face. She came towards me and gestured to my body. "Where?"

"My wrists…and my arm." I tried to look away but she held my face. Esme was in the room now too, slowly reaching for my arms. She raised her eyebrow, asking if she could carry on. I nodded with all my strength and then held my breath as they both rolled up my sleeves and studied my wrists.

They both gasped, and Esme held her hand to her mouth in horror. I wondered why Carlisle hadn't come to look too – he was the doctor. I guess he was waiting to look in the exam.

I admit, the cuts were pretty gruesome. Red, raw and very, very sore. They were small, but visible with how bright they were. No vampire would miss them, no human either. I wanted to cry again.

Esme moved on, not even knowing what arm, but she tried the left first. She was correct. She rolled the sleeve right up and I think if she was human she would've passed out.

I was hit with a wave of dizziness as I saw the pain I'd caused them both.

Rosalie fingered the skin around the words with tender fingers. "Oh Bella, no. Definitely not."

I followed her gaze to the words, holding in my disgust.

'I

M

P

U

R

E'

The word took up the main area of my arm, from my wrist to my elbow crease. It was very clear, and very obvious.

I regretted embedding the letters into my skin, wishing I could take back time. It's just I was in so much pain I wasn't thinking.

"I'm so, so, so sorry for being a burden." I whispered. I couldn't breathe. Before I could hear their response, my legs came from under me and I crashed to the floor. I remember hitting my head and then my world plummeting into darkness.


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