#Okay, I decided to do something different for this one. Most people write about nothing but Axel and Roxas from the Organization, and even Xemnas tends to get quite a bit of attention these days.... I guess people are starting to get bored. Anyway, I feel just a little sorry for Vexen, so.... Okay, fine, I really don't care much for him, but whatever! Yeah. And please don't attack this story because I KNOW Demyx, Axel, and Xigbar use a ton of slang. It's just the way I do their dialogue! Oh, and I have to give Vexen-Chan (Raven) quite a bit of credit in the creation of this. YEY!!!!#
(Vexen sits in his laboratory in the basement of Castle Oblivion, reviewing the final drafts of his new experiment. He makes one minor change, then gathers the papers and starts up the stairs.)
Vexen: It is finally done! I can now examine the interior of a Heartless without an explosion! Xigbar should be pleased.... I need only a Soldier to perform this task....
(Demyx runs out from a nearby room, slamming the door and narrowly missing Bob, his pet Shadow Heartless. He begins screaming, trying to avoid being tagged by the minute creature, and runs straight into Vexen. The papers Number IV was holding fly every which way.)
Vexen: You... imbecile! It took me nine months, fourteen days, and five hours to write those papers! If any of them were damaged, you can be sure that the Superior will have your head on a plate for dinner by tonight!
Demyx, whimpering and backing away: But... but... but I didn't MEAN to do it!!!
Vexen: It doesn't matter! You have been told countless times not to play such foolish games in the castle, especially down here! Now SCRAM, you idiot!
(Demyx glares at him, then teleports with Bob back to his room.)
Vexen, muttering: Why must it always be me who has to put up with their sorry asses....
(Another Organization member appears at the top of the stairway. About halfway down, Vexen sees it is Larxene.)
Vexen: ....
Larxene: What are you mumbling about, Vexy? Life not good enough for you anymore?
Vexen: Number IX.... Idiot. Look what he did!
(Vexen gestures to the papers scattered all over the floor.)
Larxene: What a shame. Why don't you do something about it? Ice freezes water, ya know.
(She laughs, making Vexen look up warily from his task.)
Larxene: What? Not one for violence? Can't give you any advice then, Vexy. What a waste.
Vexen: .... Waste of what?
Larxene: Power. To such a half-wit. Demyx. He can't really be USED for anything, and even if he could be, he's too WEAK to be helpful in any way.
Vexen: .... He is, indeed, a waste, isn't he?
Larxene, whispering: Maybe you should do something about it.
(Larxene turns and waves, going back up the stairs.)
Vexen, muttering to himself: But the real question may be this: can you really be trusted, Number XII?
Larxene: You doubt my intentions?
(Vexen looks back up, shocked that she had heard him.)
Larxene: And too big of a coward to say it to my face? You never change, do you, old man?
(She walks down two stairs, and sends electricity flying at Vexen. Vexen keels over and falls to the floor, remaining there motionless. Larxene laughs and continues her trek up the stairs.)
Vexen: Why... am I.... always the one... who gets elect-ro-cuted?
(A portal appears next to Vexen, and Xigbar steps through.)
Xigbar: Whassup, dude.
(Vexen slowly crawls back to his desk so he could be able to stand up.)
Vexen: What do you want from me, Number II?
Xigbar: Nothin' much. Just wondering how the experiment's been comin' along.
Vexen: .... Well, let's see.... If you hadn't abandoned your position as fourth head of the lab, you would know, wouldn't you?
(Xigbar scowls and crosses his arms, looking away from the old man trying to get off of the floor.)
Xigbar: Ya know, Vexy, you don't always have to be so uptight.... Loosen up a little, will ya?
Vexen: No, I will not! Because, unlike you, I do not deny my identity!
Xigbar: What are ya talking about, dude?
Vexen: .... Xigbar.... I've known you for quite a while now, and a while back I noticed that you are not the brightest bulb in the chandelier....
Xigbar, smacking himself in the forehead: Oh, here we go again with this crap!
Vexen: Number II, just because you act like you are a teenager does NOT mean that you really are one!
Xigbar: Man, you're completely out of whack!
Vexen: .... My point exactly. Everyone gets old, Xigbar, there is no way to deny it!
(Xigbar shakes his head, calls the portal back, and leaves Vexen staring after a rather obscene hand gesture. Vexen finally gets back to his feet and dusts himself off.)
Vexen: Why...?
(Xigbar reappears behind Vexen and smacks him in the back of the head, grinning.)
Xigbar: Ah, come on, old dude! You don't think I'd give up that easy, do ya?
(Vexen calls his shield just as Xigbar's guns materialized, successfully saving himself from possible erasure.)
Xigbar: Let's go, dude! 'Fraidy cat! Bring-it-on!
(Vexen groans and freezes the entire basement, then defrosts everything except Xigbar; he pushes the rigid member over on his way back to the stairs, starting to pick up the papers again. A few minutes later, he was finally able to finish his journey up the flight of stairs.)
Vexen, muttering to himself as Axel walks by: Asshole!
(Axel stops and turns around, glaring at Vexen.)
Axel: What did you call me?
(Vexen doesn't notice him and continues talking to himself.)
Vexen: He should know better than to act like something he's not! Honestly, grow up! Everyone sees what he's trying to hide....
(Axel throws a flaming chakram at Vexen, then laughs as the old man falls back down the stairs.)
Axel: Take that, you old bastard! And you'd better watch what you say, asshole!
(Vexen looks up at him in anger, then notices the small shreds of black paper drifting down the staircase.)
Vexen: My... my work!!!
(Xigbar's head was thawed by the fire, and he begins laughing.)
Xigbar: Serves ya right, dude!
Vexen: Why? WHY is it always my fault somehow?
(Xigbar goes into hysterics.)
Xigbar: Dude! You're sucha loser!
Vexen: I do not recall asking your opinion, DUDE!
(Vexen refreezes Xigbar's head, adding an extra layer of ice to be sure it wouldn't happen again anytime soon.)
Vexen: ... It seems someone should learn how to grow up...
(Vexen looks sadly at the burnt fragments, then straightens up and begins walking up the stairs again.)
Demyx, out of view: Bob! Come back! You know I can't run up walls!
(Vexen reaches the top of the staircase, seeing Bob climb back down the adjacent wall, carrying a glass jar filled with a white powdery substance.)
Vexen: What... is that?
(Demyx takes the jar and sniffs it, his eyes lighting up.)
Demyx: Bob! Guess what! It's SHOO-GER!!!
(Roxas enters the room, trying to find Luxord.)
Roxas: Dem, that isn't Xiggy's, is it?
Demyx, shrugging: I dunno. I love sugar! Come on, Bobby!
Roxas: Please don't eat that.
(Demyx sarcastically opens the jar, sticks in a finger, then licks the white powder off of his finger, looking at Roxas.)
Roxas: Dem-yx!
Demyx: Mmmm... This is GOOD! Have some, Bob!
Roxas, screaming: Demyx!
(Xaldin and Marluxia enter the room, with Axel trailing behind them. Marluxia is arguing with Axel.)
Marluxia: You misunderstand. If the inverse and the opposite are related....
Axel: They aren't related, for the third time! They.... Roxas, what the hell?
(Roxas is trying to wrestle the jar away from Demyx, and immediately pulls back, turning red.)
Roxas: DemYX is eating Xiggy's "sugar".
Axel: .... I see.
Xaldin: IX, you should know better by now.
Axel: Yeah. Remember the last time, Dem? You were stuck in bed for two d....
Demyx: UNGH!!! MY SUGAR!!
(Demyx turns away and continues eating the substance.)
Marluxia: It seems as though there is nothing else we can do.
Xaldin, grinning: Prepare to hide.
(Vexen begins laughing madly, recalling what happened on the last wild goose chase with Demyx running after them.)
Marluxia: .... Is something funny, IV?
Vexen, stilling laughing: He... food.... octopus!
(Axel and Roxas look at each other, then take a step back from Vexen.)
Xaldin: He's lost it.
Roxas: Definitely.
Axel: Hey, Icicle! Are you....?
Vexen: I have a love-ly bunch of coconuts! Duh, duh, duh, duh! Here they are a-standing in a row.
(Vexen starts dancing.)
Axel: .... He's gone completely loony.
Roxas: Yep.
Marluxia: I shall go inform the Superior.
Xaldin: I'm not escorting the old fucker again! It's such a pain in the ass!
Marluxia, calling a portal: Take Demyx with you. I'm such he's just BURSTING with anticipation!
(Vexen continues dancing.)
Vexen: Ant-i-cip-a-tion! Ant-i-cip-a-a-tion is mak-in' me wait!
Axel: Yeah, this guy's gotta go. Like now.
Marluxia: Have a nice trip, Number III!
Xaldin: Crap.