#Okay, yeah. This is the second part of "Sugar and Ice". Yes, another grand creation, thanks to the creepiness of Vexy-Chan! (Yeah, I'm gonna blame you! You kept it going!) Yey. Don't expect to make sense out of this chapter! Blame the sugar! And VEXY! I also have to give credit to Numa Numa (Priscilla). Blah. Oh, and by the way, the Tarzan reference IS from the ToyBox song. Thanks for noticing.....#
(Xaldin and Demyx were, of course, assigned to escort Vexen to the nearest asylum, which was conveniently located on the outskirts of the Deep Jungle. Vexen continues to talk to himself, and Xaldin is in a bad mood due to this little side mission.)
Vexen: I know... a song... that get's on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, yes on ev....
Xaldin: Shut up, you demented old asshole! It's YOUR fault we're out here, so SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
(Vexen flinches, then begins muttering to himself again.)
Vexen: Orange crayons... and pudding. You don't know... the name of my goldfish! Flaming igloo! Tree!
Demyx: Xaldie, is he gonna be okay?
Xaldin, hissing: I don't know, and I don't give a shit!
Demyx: Fine!
(Vexen begins climbing the tree and disappears among the leaves. He grabs a nearby vine and swings into view, wearing nothing but a sky-blue loincloth.)
Xaldin: ... VEXEN!!! Come back here, you old fucker!
Demyx: Go Vexy!... Wait, I want one! Where'd ya get it?!?
Vexen: Kmart is an octopus!
Demyx: O-kay!
(Demyx disappears through a portal, leaving Xaldin to chase after the crazed Vexen.)
Xaldin: IX! Damn it.... Come back here, you old loon!
Vexen: Oy-ee-oy-ee! Oy-ee-oy-ee! Oy-ee-oy-ee-ay! I am Tarzan from jungle, you can be my friend!
Xaldin: Get down here before you break your fucking neck!
Vexen, dancing with the vine in his hand: You am Jane, and you like to ri-de an elephant! Me Tarzan, you Jane!
Xaldin: WHAT THE HELL?!? Get down here before....
(Tarzan appears, dropping from a branch above Vexen.)
Tarzan: No, me is Tarzan! You old spider monkey! You die!
(Vexen tries to run away, but falls out of the tree.)
Vexen: AAAGHHHH! Scintillating sunflower!
(Xaldin watches as he falls, and laughs when he realizes that Vexen has been knocked out.)
Xaldin, snickering: Dumbass....
(A few minutes later at the headquarters of the Organization, Xaldin stands in front of Xemnas and Saix with Vexen unconscious at his feet.)
Xaldin: .... He fell out of a tree....
Xemnas: .... I don't think I'll ask.
Xaldin, kicking Vexen: Good idea.
Xemnas: Take this member to the ward.... After he wakes, put him in solitary confinement until this spell passes.... That should cure it.
Saix, mumbling: I don't think you can cure something this ugly....
Xemnas: And Number IX is still unaccounted for....
Xaldin: ... He's at Kmart.
Xemnas: .... May I ask why?
Xaldin: I'm not really sure.
Xemnas: .... He'll come back. Eventually.
(A portal appears, revealing Demyx wearing only a yellow and orange striped loincloth.)
Demyx: Hel-lo! I'm BAAACK!
(There is complete silence for a moment, then Xigbar, Axel, and Roxas enter.)
Xigbar: Whaddaya think happened to him, though?
Roxas: I dunno. One minute he was fine, and then he just....
(They freeze and stare at Demyx.)
Demyx: Hi, guys! What do ya think?!?
Xigbar: It's ... It's spreading! The insanity! It's contagious!
Axel: .... What are you talking about?
Xigbar: It's COMS!!!
Roxas: What the hell's COMS?
Xigbar: Creepy Old Man Syndrome! It's symptoms include white hair, brown teeth, and weird laughing!
Axel: ... Sounds like you, Xiggy.
(Xigbar's face goes pale, and he starts laughing hysterically.)
Axel: It looks like you started the epidemic.... It's that damn jar of crap he has!
Roxas: The sugar?
Axel: It's not SUGAR! It's....
Roxas: Wait, the Superior has gray hair... Does that mean...?
Axel, jokingly: RUN!!!
Demyx: RUN, RUN AWAY!!!
(Demyx sprints out of the room.)
Xigbar: I-idiot!
Roxas: ... Like you?
Xigbar: It's spreading! BURN THEMMMMM!!!
Axel: ...Why would you punish the fire?
(Demyx comes back at super-speed, jumping up and down.)
Demyx: I'm BACK! Let's play!
Axel, whispering to Roxas: This is when we run.
(They begin to walk toward the door, hoping Demyx wouldn't see them.)
Demyx: Hey! Where ya guys goin'?
Axel: Uh... Nowhere. Nowhere at all.
Roxas: We're gonna go... clean the commons.
Demyx: I can help! I'll help!
Axel: No, we're okay. Really.
(Marluxia walks past, minding his own business. Axel grabs him by the arm and drags him between them and Demyx.)
Axel: Here, play with Marley. We'll see ya later, Demy!
Marluxia: WAIT! Do not leave me with this... freak!
Demyx: I wuv you, Mar-Mar!
Axel: Have fun Demy-sitting, Marley! See ya!
Marluxia: No! Take me with YOU!
(Demyx hugs Marluxia.)
Demyx: I wuv you!
(Roxas and Axel teleport to escape from the wrath of the psychotic, hyperactive Demyx.)
Demyx: You're one of my BEST friends, Marley! I love you, I really do!
Marluxia: Get off me this instant!
(Demyx pushes him into the table.)
Marluxia: Demyx, what are you....?!?
********
(Axel and Roxas have arrived in the Pride Lands, and they take on their lion forms. They immediately begin running for their lives.)
Axel: I think we mighta lost him... for now.
(They turn around to face the Pride Rock, and see a streak of yellow running toward them.)
Axel: Is that what I think it is?
(Demyx leaps up and pins Axel to the ground.)
Demyx: Boo!
Roxas: How the hell'd you get here?
Demyx: Portal, duh!
Axel, shoving Demyx off: Whaddaya want, Demy?
Demyx: I just wanna play tag with you guys!
Roxas: Axel....
Axel, whispering to Roxas: When I say go, you run that way, and I'll go this way.
Roxas: But he's a cheetah!
Axel: Yeah, but not a very SMART one. He can't get us both at once.
Roxas: Right. Let's make him run into a rock again!
Axel: Yeah, that's fun. One. Two. Three.... Four.... GO!
(Roxas and Axel run as fast as they can away from Demyx, who stands confused for a second, then takes off after them.)
Demyx: I wanna play!
Roxas: I thought... that cheetahs could only run really fast for a short period of time!
Axel: Well, the ones you're thinking of aren't high on sugar and crack! And they aren't Demyx!
Demyx, from a short way behind: I love you too, Roxas!
(Demyx begins to run after Roxas instead of trying to get both of them.)
Axel: Run, Roxy! RUN!
Roxas: Shit!
(Just as Demyx catches up, he finds himself surrounded by fire.)
Axel: Run, you dumbass!
Demyx, whining: Guys, that's not fair! Come on! Wait up!
(Demyx paces back and forth, forgetting that he knows how to control water.)
Demyx: Rox-AS! Come back!
Axel: Keep up! He's gonna come after us at any second!
Roxas: We've gotta stop him!
Axel: ... I don't think the laws of nature could stop him at this point. We've just gotta keep running until he dozes off. Like Xiggy usually does. It might be a while, though. We should see if we can hide out for a while. In a place where Dem doesn't have an advantage.
Roxas: Good idea. But where's that?
Axel: Pretty much anywhere but here. And Atlantica. That would be a bad idea.
Roxas: Yeah, 'specially for you.
(Axel rolls his eyes.)
Axel: You know very well that I'm not useless in that underwater shithole.
Roxas: On a scale of one to ten, how useful are you? Probably a 3. If you're lucky.
(Demyx, appearing once again out of nowhere, tackles Axel.)
Roxas: HOLY -
(Roxas runs into a tree.)
Axel: Keep running, Roxas! I'll catch up!
(Roxas hesitantly continues running away from Demyx. A few seconds later, Demyx is thrown up in the air on top of a geyser of fire, and Axel runs after Roxas.)
Axel: We've gotta get out of here! He almost crushed my fucking rib cage!
Roxas: Fine by me! How about BC?
Axel: Let's have just a little more fun first. He says he wants to play, after all. Besides, it'll make it harder for him to follow us.
Roxas: What do ya have in mind?
Axel: Rock.
Roxas: Nice. Let's do it.
(Demyx is seen jumping from the top of the geyser, and he begins sprinting after them again.)
Axel: When he gets to that tree, we'll go separate ways around the rock, and he'll go...
Roxas: Face first. This'll be fun to see.
Demyx, yelling: I'm gonna get you guys!
Axel: Get ready..... GO!
(They dodge out of the way at the last second, and Demyx plows into the rock.)
Roxas: Awesome! Let's get out of here!
Demyx, dazed: Ouch, ouch, ouch! Hey! Where'd ya guys go?!?