Tsunade rubbed her temples, hoping to make the headache go away. This was utterly unbelievable. They had described the fight to her in detail, even up to the inner mind battle and right up to the switch. How it was even possible was beyond the Hokage but just the fact that the two had managed to switch bodies like they did made her head hurt. It almost didn't surprise her, since Naruto was involved.

"So you think that, because Naruto tried to force you out as hard as he did, that he somehow forced himself out of his body and into yours?" Tsunade repeated.

Ino nodded glumly. "Yes, Hokage-sama. What should we do?"

Sighing loudly, Tsunade scratched at her forehead, thinking. "Well. . . you can't go talk to Inoichi about this. He'd kill you both, and we can't be having that."

Ino stuck his tongue out at Naruto. She ignored him, focused on something else.

"Henge's are out of the question since we're going to try and hide this," Tsunade added. "Sasuke and Kakashi would see right through it, along with a number of other high level ninja around Konoha and they'd all wonder why Ino is henged to look like Naruto and vice versa and, Naruto, if you don't stop staring at my cleavage. . ."

Naruto's eyes snapped up to Tsunade's face, and she blushed heavily. "Sorry, sorry."

It was unnerving to Tsunade, having Ino Yamanaka stare at her cleavage in such a lewd manner. Except it wasn't Ino, it was Naruto in Ino. She inhaled so long and so hard, her lungs started to hurt.

"Until this is fixed, if you two want to hide this from people, you're going to have to play the part. Naruto, you'll have to act like Ino, and Ino, you'll have to act like Naruto, as best you to can."

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

"A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous."
- Alfred Adler

A Mind Bending Inconvenience
A Naruto Story
By Hawk

A/N: This fic takes place after the Naruto series, after Akatsuki has been defeated, and Sasuke is back in Konoha. Characters that aren't dead in the Manga at Chapter 356 (when I started this) may or may not appear in this fic, even if they die in the very next chapter. The Rookie Nine are all in their early 20's in this fic. Thank you for your time and your reviews, they mean a lot.

Thanks kindly to Corwin, my far away friend, for helping again. You're input is greatly appreciated.

Chapter 2 - Troublesome Friends and Family

"I don't wanna act like Ino!" Naruto shouted and stomped her foot. "She's such a stuck up, annoying. . . loud. . . and. . ."

"And what?" Ino asked, glaring down at Naruto.

"And UGLY!" Naruto exclaimed and made a face of revolt.

Tsunade interrupted, "There are many reasons why you now have to act like Ino, Naruto, one being that if any of our enemies realize you're stuck in Ino's body, and Ino is in yours, they could try to take you both out, and they would most likely succeed."

Naruto pouted and crossed her arms under her breasts, bumping them up purposely to make them appear larger. She laughed quietly to herself at the thought of Ino's breasts suddenly getting bigger.

Ino eyed her suspiciously.

"So, while you two are TRYING to act like one another. . . I'll have Shizune look into the Hokage's library for anything about your. . . type of situation. Naruto will ask Inoichi, pretending to be you, Ino, about this as well. Can you handle that, Naruto?"

Naruto gave Tsunade a thumbs up and grinned winningly. "No prob, Tsunade-baa-chan!" she crowed.

"I think I should go with him. . . her. . . Naruto, Hokage-sama. Just to make sure he. . . uh, Naruto doesn't screw up," Ino explained, scrunching his forehead in thought.

Tsunade shook her head. "No, that'd be too suspicious. Naruto has to do this on her. . . his own."

Naruto posed sexily, sashaying her hair. "With this body, I can convince any guy to do whatever I want," she stated and pumped her hips from side to side before winking seductively.

"We're talking about my DAD, you idiot!" Ino exclaimed and smacked Naruto upside the head. "That's disgusting!"

Naruto grumbled under her breath, "Don't have to hit me. . . you're only beating up yourself."

"Naruto," Tsunade started, catching the girls attention. "Find out what you can from Inoichi without giving yourself away. And don't hit on her dad."

Naruto nodded.

"And give Atsuta to Ino."

"What!" Naruto protested, grabbing her katana and clutching it between her breasts. "I'm not giving Ino Atsuta!"

"We have to retain the image that Ino is you, and you are Ino, and you carrying around Atsuta would raise too many eyebrows," Tsunade explained calmly. "Meanwhile, if we can't get this fixed within the next three days, I'll be giving your S-Rank mission to someone else."

"No! Don't do that!" Naruto objected, slamming her palm down on Tsunade's desk. "I want that mission! It was given specifically to me! They requested me!"

"Well you can't go in Ino's body, Naruto, it just wouldn't work. You'd be putting yourself and Ino's body in extreme danger."

Naruto growled and turned her head to glare at Ino. "You and I are fixing this as fast as possible."

"I couldn't agree more," Ino replied, nodding his head.

"Then we're all settled here," Tsunade stated matter-of-factly. "As of this moment, your primary mission is to find a way to return to your original bodies and do it. Within three days."

The two nodded simultaneously.

"Good, then get the hell out of here," the Hokage muttered and returned to rubbing her forehead.

Naruto punched a fist into her palm. "All right then, let's get to work!" She turned to Ino, looking up at him expectantly. "Which way to your house?"

Ino smacked his forehead. "You've got to be kidding me. . . we're never gonna pull this off," he muttered.

"Naruto."

She turned to look at Tsunade.

"Atsuta. Ino. Now," the Hokage ordered before throwing a sake cup into Naruto's forehead. "And stop staring at my chest!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

"You realize I'm never going to let you live this down, right?" Tsunade noted blandly.

Naruto blinked and turned away. Angrily, she pulled Atsuta from her shoulder and handed it to Ino. "Come on, the sooner we get to your house, the sooner we'll be back to normal."

Ino exhaled loudly, his broad shoulders slumping in defeat. "Try not to make me look like too much of an idiot, Naruto."

"I guarantee nothing."

"Did you have to stare at Tsunade-sama like that?" Ino growled once they were outside of the Hokage's tower.

Naruto shook her head, ponytail waving. "Couldn't help it. She still had sake running down her cleavage. Made me thirsty," she muttered with a faraway look in her eyes. "I want some ramen." She turned and started in another direction.

"Hey, we're supposed to be going to my house!" Ino shouted. "Your house! The house!"

"To talk to your dad, my dad, the dad, yeah, yeah," Naruto replied, rolling her eyes. "We'll take care of that after I get some pork and egg ramen in my stomach."

"I refuse," Ino declared firmly, moving to stand in Naruto's way. "I don't want you polluting my body with your disgusting ramen." He tried to grab Naruto's wrist, but she skipped out of his reach.

"Yeah, well I refuse your refuse, so there," Naruto sung and stuck out her tongue.

"You really think I'm going to let you eat ramen with my body?" Ino asked, and puffed up his chest, trying to look intimidating.

Naruto paused for a second before grinning. "I think I suddenly have to go to the bathroom."

"All right, to Ichiraku's it is."

When they arrived at Ichiraku's, Naruto hopped onto the stool and slid right off. "Ack!" She fell to the ground, surprised. "Stupid rounder butt," she muttered and climbed back up.

"One extra large bowl of pork and egg ramen, old man!" she exclaimed and slammed her hand down on the counter with a passion.

Ino sat down beside her, much smoother, shaking his head. He grit his teeth in a strained smile, looking exhausted and beat.

Teuchi blinked at Naruto, lifting his ladle to his shoulder. "Yamanaka-san, you want a bowl of ramen? You never come by here, what's the occasion?"

"There never needs to be an occasion for ramen!" Naruto shouted, and Ino's teeth ground together harder.

Teuchi laughed. "Glad to see you're coming around. What'll you have, Naruto?" he asked Ino.

Ino made a face of disgust. "Ew, I don't want any ramen."

Teuchi and Naruto froze, and Ino swore she could hear the old mans heart shatter inside his chest.

"Uh. . . what I meant to say was. . . no ramen for me today," Ino stuttered quickly, before laughing nervously. He punched himself in the side of the head. "You know me, all stupid and stuff."

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed indignantly.

Teuchi exhaled, and smiled. "You scared me for a second there, Naruto."

"Yeah, Naruto. Also that's. . ." she paused before beaming brightly. "Not true. You're very smart and cool! I don't know how many times you've saved Konoha, but you're amazing!" she exclaimed with gusto.

Eyeing the two, Teuchi smiled somewhat knowingly. "Indeed he is, Yamanaka-san."

Naruto grinned at the old man. "Call me Ino," she replied.

"All right then, one extra large bowl of pork and egg ramen coming up!" Teuchi announced and turned back to his pots.

"Nice job at being me," Naruto drawled sarcastically.

"You too," Ino replied, rolling his eyes. "'Very smart and cool', give me a break. As if I'd ever say that about you."

Naruto grinned broadly. "Too bad you just did."

"Unbelievable," Ino muttered, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand.

"What is, Naruto?" Teuchi asked as he slid the ramen bowl in front of Naruto who he believed was Ino.

"Uh, nothing, Teuchi-san," Ino said, shaking his head.

Teuchi's eyes narrowed. "Are you okay, Naruto? You're acting. . . very unlike yourself."

Naruto looked up from her bowl of ramen, noodles hanging sloppily from her lips. Her eyes widened.

Ino laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair, messing it even more. "Yeah, I'm okay. Kinda feeling under the weather, I suppose."

Teuchi frowned. "Well then you should have some of our special vitamin ramen. Good for the body after all!"

Naruto slurped up the noodles and burped heartily. She smacked Ino on the back as he scrunched his face up in disgust.

Teuchi laughed heartily. "I think Naruto's rubbing off on you, Ino-san."

"Pfft, he only wishes he could rub off on this!" Naruto exclaimed and motioning to her chest and body before turning back to her ramen.

Teuchi jaw dropped, and Ino stared at Naruto, shocked.

She blinked at them. "What?"

Ino grabbed Naruto's ponytail, yanking her from her stool. "Come with me. Now," he growled.

"Ow! Ow! Not so hard!" Naruto whined, and she reached out for her bowl of ramen. "Ramen! I'll come back for you!"

A safe distance away from Teuchi, Ino stopped. "Alright, 'Ino'," he bit out through grit teeth, "you need to get your act together."

"Did you have to pull so hard?" Naruto complained, petting her ponytail as it lay over her shoulder. "Ow. . ."

"You're really starting to piss me off with your stupidity," Ino whispered, trying to glare a hole through Naruto's head. 'Maybe that'd get us to switch back.'

"You're making me look like a slut," he continued.

"Like you're doing any better at being me?" Naruto retorted, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry I'm not good at playing an idiot," Ino drawled bluntly, hands on his hips.

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not good at playing a bitch."

Then came the slap heard around the World. Well, Konoha at least. It was loud and hard, and to the people on the street, it appeared that Naruto Uzumaki had slapped Ino Yamanaka soundly across the face.

Naruto's head reared back, her cheek red. Slowly, she raised her hand and gently touched it. She hissed from the sting.

"Oh my God. . ." Ino inhaled deeply, realizing too late what he'd done. Everyone would think that Naruto had slapped her. "I'm so sorry. . ."

"You did not just do that. . ." Naruto muttered under her breath. "You stupid-!"

"I didn't-" Ino stopped, noticing at once that his body wouldn't move. He tried to lift his arms, but they stayed firmly in place. "What?"

Nara Shikamaru stood a few yards behind, shadow clinging to Ino's. He glared and crossed his arms, Ino following suit.

"That's just great," Naruto grumbled to herself and stepped forward, covering her cheek protectively. She'd been slapped as a guy by some angry dates, but this one hurt a lot more, her own hand being heavier and stronger. She hoped it didn't bruise.

"Uzumaki, I'd like to ask you what you think you just did before I make you slit your own throat," Shikamaru stated, deadly serious.

Naruto blinked at that. Shikamaru never referred to her by her last name.

Ino's eyes widened at the threat. "It's not what you think, Shikmaru!" He tried to turn his head and look at the furious Jounin but refused to move an inch.

The shadow wielder's eyes narrowed even further. "And what exactly is it?"

Naruto moved in-between Shikamaru and Ino. She calmly placed her hands on the pineapple haired man's shoulders and looked up into his glaring eyes.

Shikamaru glanced down at her, confused and worried. He let his arms dropped to his sides, unsure of what to do with them. "You okay, Ino?"

Naruto nodded and her eyes narrowed. "I'm fine, Shikamaru, now let him go," she ordered and pushed him back a step.

"But-"

"He was doing me a favor, idiot," Naruto barked and stomped back over to Ino. "I asked him to slap me."

"You asked him. . ." Shikamaru muttered, now even more confused, but slowly his shadow pulled away from Ino's. "Why would you ask him to slap you?"

"Because I wanted him to!" Naruto shouted, fists clenched at her hips. "Is that not good enough for you? Don't butt into my business, pineapple head!"

Snorting, Shikamaru shook his head, now annoyed at whom he believed was Ino. "Don't even know why I bothered," he muttered under his breath.

Naruto sighed and shook her head. "Sorry, Shikamaru, I didn't mean to take it out on you like that. I appreciate you wanting to kill . . . Naruto for me, but I don't want that."

"Are you sure?" Shikamaru asked, eyeing Ino darkly. "You better not do anything like this again, Naruto."

Ino shook his head. "Of. . . of course not! I was just doing what Ino asked," he replied, scratching the back of his head. He laughed as stupidly as he could.

Naruto rolled her eyes at Ino's horrible acting. She turned to her real body, glaring at it and the person trapped inside. "Just let me take care of him, Shikamaru," she growled and reached up to grab Ino's hair.

"Ow!" Ino cried as he was pulled away.

"We're gonna talk about this later, Ino," Shikamaru called after them.

Naruto ignored him, leading Ino to a more private area. She let go of his hair, steaming mad, chest heaving, and she hated how it felt. With an angry breath, she blew the hair out of her face, though it fell back over her eye a second later.

Ino laughed nervously, observing the ground with interest. "Never thought I'd feel like saying this, but thanks for the save, Naruto. You really started acting like me there for a second."

Naruto didn't share his amusement. "I didn't do that for you, Ino. I did that to save my own ass. That's my body you just used to slap yourself." She paused to let that sink in. "I've been trying really hard for years to get people around here to notice and like me, and I have enough problems already that I don't need you making it look like I beat women added to them," she explained through her anger.

"Look, I'm really-"

"I don't care," Naruto stated, raising a hand to Ino's face. "Let's just get to your house, so I can talk to your dad, and we can change back to normal."

"Yeah, things will be better when we switch back," Ino agreed, smiling slightly in relief. The guilt was still there though; he'd really screwed up. He wondered, for a brief moment, what it must've been like to be Naruto as a kid, and have everyone look at him as Shikamaru had. Eyes full of hate for something that was a mistake, something out of his control.

"Cause then I'll have nothing to do with you or your body," Naruto added. She was furious at so many things, she felt ready to burst and looking at Ino in her real body didn't help. "That'll make things a lot better."

Ino nodded slowly. "Yeah, we'll do that. . ." he muttered, hanging his head, hair shielding his eyes. "Come on, let's get to my house." He start off again, quiet for once.

Exhaling deeply, her entire body shaking, Naruto followed, cheek still burning red.

After walking down a few blocks in absolute silence, Naruto's cheek stopped stinging and Ino no longer hid his face. The silence was the new pain between the two. After two more blocks of walking, Ino held up his hand, stopping Naruto.

"Alright, that's my house right there," Ino said and pointed at a white, two storied building. It was covered in potted flowers, which hung from the windows, and a beautiful rose garden in the front yard. "In and out, Naruto, in and out."

Naruto glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes. "In and out, Ino? You've only been a guy for an hour and you already have your mind in the gutter," she joked sarcastically. Her anger at being slapped hadn't fully dissipated.

Ino deadpanned, "Ha ha, hilarious." Placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder, he turned her to look at him. "Now there are a few things you need to know before you go in there."

Naruto crossed her arms over her chest, waiting impatiently.

"First: I call my daddy, daddy, and mom, mom," Ino explained.

"You call your dad, 'daddy' and your mom, 'mom'?" Naruto repeated incredulously. "Are you serious? That just sounds gross, calling your dad, 'daddy'. And why don't you call your mom, mommy? How come only your dad is 'daddy' and your mom isn't mommy?"

Ino's jaw tightened. "What does it matter? Just make sure you call him daddy, specially when asking for his help," she growled.

"Daddy. . ." Naruto mumbled. "And you think I'm a pervert."

"I can't wait til we change back, so I can kick you in the balls, Naruto."

"Yeah, yeah, anything else I need to know?" Naruto asked, already bored with Ino's sudden lecture.

"My old bedroom is upstairs, second door on your RIGHT. Right side, Naruto," Ino explained.

"Why am I going to your room?"

"Just in case."

Naruto nodded. "Gotcha. How's my cheek?" She turned her cheek to Ino to inspect.

"Better, not very red," Ino replied, looking close at the cheek he'd slapped. "Sorry again, about that."

Naruto ignored him. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. Try not to screw this up."

Naruto paused. She glanced at the house, seeing Ino's mom step outside and into the garden. The woman noticed them and smiled before giving a brief wave.

"I still guarantee nothing," Naruto stated, grinning wide at Ino's anxiety ridden face. Collecting herself, she determinedly jogged toward Ino's house, her grin turning to a smile. She waved to Ino's mom. "Hi, mom!"

"Hello, Ino-chan, so good of you to visit," Ino's mom replied and stepped up to her daughter's body. She wrapped her arms around Naruto, hugging her warmly.

"Ah. . ." Naruto faltered, unused to such affection from complete strangers. She slowly started to wrap her arms around the woman when Ino's mother broke off the hug.

"Is that Naruto-kun over there?" Ino's mom asked, shielding her eyes from the sun.

"No," Naruto replied quickly, not even looking.

Ino's mom waved at Ino who quickly scrambled out of sight, tripping as he did. Shaking her head, she turned back to Naruto. "He's such an odd boy. What was he doing with you?"

"Ah. . . he walked with me here," Naruto muttered. "He's a good guy," she added, mentally patting herself on the back.

Ino's mom nodded. "I know that, Ino-chan. He's also very cute," she whispered and winked knowingly.

"Eh?" Naruto exclaimed and suddenly blushed. "Cute?" she whispered to herself.

Ino's mom looked at Naruto's red face, mistaking her blush for something completely else. "So you agree, do you?" she asked, smiling smugly.

"Uh. . . well, yeah, he's good looking, definitely," Naruto said, enjoying the fact that she was building up her image. "Really cool too! We all know he kicks butt in battle. I mean, he's saved the village how many times now? Total badass."

Ino's mom laughed out loud at Naruto's proclamations. "You're not forgetting about Sai, are you, honey?"

"Ew!" Naruto exclaimed. "I mean, uh. . . naw, of course not. Naruto's just a friend, a cool, smart, strong friend that you shouldn't judge. Cause he only means well."

"You know I don't judge Naruto, Ino-chan," Ino's mom stated and knelt down to deadhead a rose bush.

"I thought you hated me," Naruto breathed, elated that another adult accepted him.

Ino's mom blinked and looked up at her. "What?"

"I thought you hated him," Naruto corrected, eyes wide. "I mean. . . he trashed your rose garden really badly all those years ago," she added and laughed nervously at the memory. She'd realized a long time ago how cruel a prank it had been, but had never built up the courage to apologize.

"He was just a silly boy back then, Ino-chan, you know that. He's grown up a lot, as you seem to have noticed," Ino's mom stated.

Naruto shook her head. "Ah, just friends, mom," she replied. "Nothing more."

"Are you sure? He seems to be interested," Ino's mom said.

"Eh? Why do you say that? All he did was walk me here," Naruto asked and scratched her head in confusion.

"Because he's back," Ino's mom whispered and discreetly pointed down the street.

Naruto snuck a glance, noticing Ino ducking behind a bush at the end of the block. She smacked her forehead. "You've got to be kidding me," she muttered and turned back to Ino's mom.

"It's not like that. Trust me. He's just. . . being odd, like you said. He's an odd, silly boy with . . ." Naruto explained and paused. 'Don't say with a big penis, don't say with a big penis', she thought nervously to herself. "With a big heart."

She mentally sighed and high-fived herself.

Ino's mom smiled up at Naruto's concentrated face and clipped a lively red rose from the bush. She stood and held the rose up to Naruto.

Slowly, Naruto reached out and took the flower from the older woman's delicate fingers.

Winking, Ino's mom bent down again, returning to the rose bush. "Whatever you say, Ino-chan. Your father's inside, he'll be happy to see you."

Naruto nodded dumbly.

"Unless you want to go and talk to Naruto-kun first," she added.

Shaking her head, ponytail flowing, Naruto stepped up to the front door, opening it. "It's not like that. You don't understand," she muttered and entered the house.

Inoichi Yamanaka was a loving husband and father. When he first married his wife, he'd craved a large family, with many boys to carry on the Yamanaka name and mind bending Jutsu's his family was so famous for. They had been blessed with Ino and only Ino, and though she wasn't one of the many boys he had wanted, he couldn't have been more delighted in her birth.

He and his wife had attempted many times after Ino to get pregnant again, but it never happened. So he doted on her, as she was all that he had to dote on. Though now twenty-two years old, she was still his princess, and he would protect her from anyone who hurt her.

That was why he was so content when Ino told him that she and the emotionless Sai were dating. The boy was too stupid in the ways of life and love to hurt Ino badly, or ever do anything perverted to her. Inoichi felt he could trust Sai, to some degree anyway. No boy was fully trustworthy around his daughter.

Being an expert at killing and reading minds helped to stem the problem of boys knocking on their door. When Ino was younger, too many boys would come knocking, wanting to go out, alone, with his only daughter. It had slowed over the years, something he was very happy about. And though his daughter was fully capable of protecting herself, that didn't mean he wouldn't castrate any boy who tried anything.

Sitting behind his large work desk, cluttered with a couple of family scrolls, Inoichi Yamanaka smiled. He might not have had the big family he always wanted, but Ino had definitely made up every bit of what he ever wanted. The door to his office opened slowly, and the focus of his thoughts peeked her head inside, looking frazzled and unnerved. She grinned at him nervously, and he smiled pridefully in return.

Standing, Inoichi moved toward his daughter, arms open for a hug. "Ino-chan! To what do we owe this visit? Everything's okay at the apartment, right?" he asked and wrapped Naruto into his arms. "Because if you need to move back home, it's quite alright with your mom and I."

Naruto froze, afraid for her life. "Uh. . ." The rose in her hands pressed against her chest and she winced as a thorn poked her left breast. "No, no, that's not it."

Inoichi leaned away, holding Naruto by her arms. He noticed the rose. "Is that for me?"

"Uh. . . yeah, from, uh, mom," Naruto stuttered. She looked up into Ino's fathers eyes as he gazed down at her fondly. This was all too weird, and being hugged so lovingly by another man, let alone another person's father, made Naruto uncomfortable.

Inoichi took the flower from Naruto's fingers. "What a sweetie," he said and stepped back, placing the flower on his desk. "So what can I help you with, honey?"

"Er. . . Jutsu. Mind Jutsu's," Naruto replied. "Family Jutsu's," she corrected and grinned nervously.

Inoichi raised an eyebrow and leaned against his desk. "What do you want to know? It's been awhile since you've asked about our family's Jutsu's."

"Well. . ." Naruto palmed her forehead, trying to figure out what to say. "You know how we're always. . . shooting our minds out of our bodies and going into other people?"

Blinking, Inoichi regarded his only daughter curiously. "Yes. . . that's one way to put it. Is everything okay, Ino-chan?"

"Yeah, yeah! It's all great!" Naruto exclaimed and smiled anxiously. "It's just. . . the last time I used my Mind-Switch Jutsu I got worried that, uh, Iwouldswitchbodies," she mumbled and looked away.

"What was that?"

"I got scared that I was going to. . . switch bodies," Naruto repeated and scratched her cheek with her slim pointer finger. She refused to make eye contact.

"Switch bodies, you say?" Inoichi asked then pressed his hand to his mouth in thought. "It has been known to happen on very, very rare occasions. It's not something that can be done on purpose, it's only done by mistake or by accident."

Naruto faked a sigh of relief. "That's good to know," she said and smiled. "If it did happen, how would it be fixed?"

"Well, if it ever DOES happen, we'll deal with it then," Inoichi replied.

"NO!" Naruto shouted, startling Inoichi.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Sorry, sorry, dad. . . dy. . ." Naruto muttered hesitantly. She made a face in disgust. "Please, daddy? What do you think would work?"

Inoichi scratched his head, confused. "Uh. . . I guess just doing the Mind-Switch Jutsu would work, but the main problem would be that since the Mind-Switch is a bloodline-"

"The person in this body would have to preform the Jutsu," Naruto finished, and sighed heavily in defeat. She ran a hand through her hair, getting it tangled in her ponytail. Frowning, she tugged, yanking her head to the side. "Damnit, stupid hair."

Blinking at his daughters antics, Inoichi stepped forward. "Need help?"

"No, no, I got it," Naruto replied and tugged harder. "So the person in this body would have to preform the Jutsu to make the switch back?" She winced as she finally freed her hand.

"Yes, that would be how it would have to be done," Inoichi agreed.

"What about the person in the other body. Rather me, that is. When the person does the Jutsu, and they get put back into their body, what would happen to me? How would I get back to my body?"

"Finding the way back to your body wouldn't be hard, Ino-chan, you've done it so many times before."

Naruto laughed. "Oh yeah, duh."

"Is that why you came by, to ask about the possibility of switching bodies?" Inoichi asked, frowning a little.

"Uh. . . yeah, pretty much. . ." Naruto replied lamely. "Though. . . thinking about it. . . you think I could get a copy of the Mind-Switch Jutsu scroll?"

"Wh-"

"To keep in my apartment," Naruto quickly added, wringing her hands together. "So I can look it over and improve myself."

Inoichi narrowed his eyes. "You know how I am about keeping the family scrolls at this house," he replied. "They aren't things to just be tossed around or used and left on the floor. They're priceless."

Naruto swallowed at Inoichi's suddenly serious demeanor. "Yeah, of-of course, da. . . uh, daddy," she stuttered. "But, uh. . ."

"But what?"

"But I love you?" Naruto asked and smiled sheepishly. "And you uh. . . love me?"

Inoichi's eyes hardened into a glare, and Naruto paled. She nearly passed out when the old man burst into laughter.

"Wha-what's so funny, old man!" Naruto demanded, stomping her foot. She covered her mouth, eyes wide.

Inoichi blinked before breaking down into hysterics again. He slid from his leaning position, placing his hands on his knees as he laughed.

Naruto stood dumbly, watching and waiting until Inoichi stopped and wiped at his eyes.

"It's been so long, I was wondering when you'd finally find the courage to try and talk me into letting you have the family scrolls." He placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "I'm proud of you for it."

Naruto laughed. "Does that mean I can stop calling you daddy?"

"No." Inoichi gently kissed Naruto on the cheek.

Turning away to scrunch her face in disgust, Naruto exhaled, her chest falling. She raised a hand and wiped away a small bit of sweat that had started to show.

"I'll tell you what," Inoichi started, and Naruto looked back to him. "I'll make you a copy of the scroll, if. . ."

"If?"

"If you stay for dinner," Ino's dad replied and smiled kindly.

"Dinner?" Naruto repeated. "You're gonna make me dinner?"

"Well, your mother and I will be eating too," Inoichi laughed.

"Um, yeah, definitely! Dinner sounds great!" Naruto enthused, raising a fist in celebration.

"Let's go tell your mother." Inoichi moved to exit his office but stopped in the doorway. He glanced at Naruto. "You know, you seem a lot happier. I'm glad."

"Me too," Naruto replied with a nod.

"Things must be working out with Sai," Inoichi stated as they moved through the house.

Naruto scrunched up her face in disgust. "Gross. Me and Sai? That's just nasty."

Ino's dad stopped at the front door. "What? I thought things with Sai were doing really well?"

"No way! He's too obsessed with penises!" Naruto exclaimed. "And he's still pretty rude, and honestly, I think he's a little gay. . . which is cool and all, but-"

"Wha-what? Ino-chan, don't say that!" Inoichi admonished, frowning.

"But it's true!" Naruto exclaimed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I totally think he's gay! And there's nothing wrong with that!"

Inoichi shook his head, surprised and confused. "Does that mean you've broken up?"

Naruto's eyes rolled upward in thought. She pursed her lips and tapped a finger against them. "Um. . . I suppose so. . . that'd make sense, huh."

"There's something. . . definitely different about you today, Ino-chan." Inoichi looked her up and down. "I can't really put my finger on it, but if it isn't Sai. . ."

Naruto shrugged and opened the front door. "What can I say? Life's just looking up," she replied and stepped outside.

"Ino-chan! Look who I managed to drag over!" Ino's mom shouted.

Eyes widening, Naruto felt the life suddenly drain from her body. "Wh-wh-what are you doing here!" she cried, pointing an accusatory finger at an extremely embarrassed Ino. "Get lost!"

"Ino-chan! That is so impolite!"

"I'm inclined to agree with my daughter," Inoichi grumbled, glaring at Ino. "What are you doing here, Uzumaki?"

Ino shrunk back from his father's fierce gaze, surprised. "Uh. . . I'm, um, I don't really know what I'm doing here," he muttered, sweating bullets. He tugged at his collar.

"I invited him over here to talk, Inoichi," Ino's mom growled. "Don't be so rude to the young man."

Inoichi crossed his arms and looked away. He had long past gotten over the fact that Naruto contained the Kyuubi and didn't hate the boy for it. It was the many horrible pranks the blonde brat had played that still grated the father Yamanaka. He'd never forgiven the boy for ruining their garden so many years before. It'd taken months and, in some cases, years to fix the damage to all the flowers. Ino had also relayed a number of horror stories from the few missions they had worked together. The boy might've been a great ninja, saved the village and all that, but this was a personal, long standing grudge the elder Yamanaka couldn't let go.

And plus, if Ino didn't like Naruto, he didn't like Naruto.

"Well, honey, Ino-chan is going to be staying for dinner," he mumbled, trying not to look too defeated.

"Oh, good!"

Ino stared at Naruto.

Naruto returned the gaze, replying to Ino's silent question. 'I need to stay to get the scroll.'

"Naruto will join us!" Ino's mom proclaimed and everyone's eyes turned to her.

"What!"
"What!"
"What!"

Naruto, Ino and Inoichi spun on one another.

"No!"
"No!"
"No!"

"Yes, and that's final!" Ino's mom shouted, and stomped her foot, nearly crushing one of her flowers. "Now you three march inside this instant!"

Inoichi muttered a weak protest before marching back into the house.

"Uh. . . mom, I'd really prefer if, um, Naruto didn't join us for dinner," Naruto squeaked, twiddling her fingers. She avoided meeting Ino's mom's gaze.

"Yeah, Yamanaka-san, I got other things I need to be doing. Like, uh, eating ramen." Ino grimaced at the idea.

Naruto scowled at her expression.

"Nonsense!" Ino's mom announced and placed a hand on Ino's shoulder. "You eat too much ramen as it is. You need to eat other things. You're still a growing boy, Naruto-kun."

Naruto gaped at Ino's mom. "I-He doesn't eat too much ramen!" she exclaimed and pouted.

Ignoring Naruto's outburst, Ino's mom lead Ino to the front door. "Ino-chan, don't pout like that, you're a big girl now."

Naruto looked to Ino and the two shared a similar thought: 'Kill me now.'

In the house again, Naruto grabbed Ino's elbow, her fingers failing to wrap around his arm completely. "You and me need to talk," she stated, and the two hurried upstairs.

Ino's mom smiled after them before heading to the kitchen, humming a playful tune to herself.

Upstairs, Naruto released Ino's arm, turning on him angrily. "What the hell are you doing!" she whispered fiercely.

"What am I doing? What're you doing?" Ino shot back just as soft. "What happened to 'In and Out'! 'In and Out!'"

"Just like 'Aim and Shoot', it's apparently not that easy!" Naruto growled. "But approaching your mom? What the hell, Ino! What're you thinking?"

"She wouldn't leave me alone," Ino replied, shaking his head. "She literally left the garden and dragged me by force! I never knew my mom was so pushy. . ."

"Yeah, now I know where you get it from," Naruto deadpanned.

"Oh yeah, and why was my mom asking me about what I thought about myself? She wanted to know if I thought I was cute, and funny, and all this other stuff," Ino whispered. "It was too weird."

"She thinks you, or rather I have a crush on me, or rather you," Naruto murmured.

"Say that again?"

"She thinks Naruto has a crush on Ino," Naruto reiterated and palmed her face. "She saw you spying on us, and I told her you walked me home and now she thinks that you and I are, I don't know, liking each other or some crap! I couldn't convince her otherwise!"

"She thinks I like you? Oh, gag me. . ." Ino mumbled, feeling sick. He started chewing on his fingernails.

Naruto slapped his hand away from his mouth. "Look, to get the Mind-Switch Jutsu scroll from your dad, I have to stay for dinner. He said he'd make a copy of it for me after," she explained steadily.

"Why do we need the scroll, I know the Jutsu by heart," Ino replied, exhausted. He sighed, heavy shoulders slumping. Everything about Naruto's body was heavier, even his groin, Ino could feel the weight difference, and he hated it.

"But I don't, and I'd have an easier time learning it if it's written down," Naruto said.

Ino rubbed his chin, bright blue eyes narrowing in thought. "Unfortunately I don't think I could write it down from memory . . . at least not as well as daddy," he muttered.

Naruto gagged slightly. "Oh my God, never do that again. Seeing myself say 'daddy' about another man," she covered her mouth with her hand in disgust, "is way too unnerving."

"We have to get through dinner, and then we're out of here, so keep it together down there," Ino ordered.

"You keep it together!" Naruto retorted sharply.

"You keep it together!"

"I am keeping it together! You keep it together!"

Ino marched back to the stairs before turning his head and glaring at Naruto. "Keep it together!"

Once downstairs, Naruto, Ino and Inoichi sat in silence, waiting for dinner to be served. The father Yamanaka tapped his fingers on the armrest of his couch, staring pointedly at Ino.

On the other side of the room, Naruto and Ino looked at everything but each other, focusing on the walls, ceiling, pictures, and specifically the door leading to the kitchen. They wanted nothing more than to disappear, to change back to normal, and never look at each other again. Naruto was struggling not to poke her breasts out of boredom.

Fiddling with her top, Naruto glanced down, inadvertently right into the little cleavage it showed. She hmm'd at the sight. 'Interesting view,' she thought before looking away and smiling innocently at no one.

Ino was focused elsewhere, an old picture of him and his parents when he first joined the Ninja Academy. He smiled bitterly at the picture, missing his real body. Sneaking a glance to his right at his true body, Ino sighed longingly. It surprised him just how much he missed his breasts. His hands lay placidly on his lap, trying desperately to hide the unwanted erection that had sprung upon him minutes before. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing and his pants were pinching him in an awkward way.

"Inoichi, dear, can you come and help me for a moment?" Ino's mom called from the kitchen.

Standing slowly, Inoichi's eyes hardened at Ino. "I've got my eyes on you," he growled before quickly leaving the room.

Ino turned to Naruto. "I've got an erection," he stated.

Naruto scooted further away. "And you want me to do what exactly?"

"How can I make it go away? I don't like it, it's bugging me," Ino muttered, hands still covering his lap. "I can't have an erection while we're eating."

"Yeah, well, it happens," Naruto whispered obscurely, keeping her eyes on the kitchen door. "Just stop thinking perverted thoughts."

"I'm not thinking perverted thoughts!" Ino replied through grit teeth. "It's just hard! Now make it go down!"

"Stop talking about my boner," Naruto grumbled, crossing her arms and turning away from Ino. "It's just disturbing."

Inoichi's head poked back into the room, scanning the two. His eyes narrowed. "Come help set the table, will you?"

Naruto stood up and stretched like a cat, arms raised above her head. "Yeah, yeah, sure, okay." She scratched her left breast but stopped when she felt how sensitive it was becoming. Blushing lightly, she started for the kitchen.

"Uh. . . I think I'll just sit here for a bit?" Ino replied nervously. He smiled as innocently as he could at his father.

"Don't be so rude, Naruto," Naruto stated, hands on her hips. She smiled sweetly at the distressed boy. "Get UP and give us a HAND. It won't be that HARD nor should it take too LONG. You won't be UNCOMFORTABLE or something."

Ino glared hard at Naruto.

"Are you coming or not?" Inoichi asked.

Turning his gaze to his father, Ino gaped in horror.

"Yeah, you coming or what?" Naruto added, still smiling.

Ino raised an eyebrow at Naruto. "You really want me to?" he asked, the threat in his voice clear.

"You know what, lets just do it without him, daddy," Naruto declared and paused. "I mean set the table without him," she reiterated and put her hand on Inoichi's forehead, pushing him back into the kitchen. She turned back to Ino. "Get it together!"

"You get it together!" Ino shot back.

"Get it down!"

"You get it down!"

". . . that's not right on so many levels," Naruto muttered and exited the room.

Ino watched as the door closed on Naruto's ponytail and shook his head at her cry of pain that followed. The door opened again and Naruto stuck her head into the room, cradling the base of her ponytail gently.

"Get it together!" the girl ordered and turned back into the kitchen.

"So, Uzumaki, what have you been up to lately?" Inoichi asked as politely as he could before taking a bite of his pork. The four sat around the table, Inoichi and Ino's mom on the ends, Naruto and Ino beside each other on one side.

"Just got back from a mission," Naruto replied before raising her soup bowl and taking a loud sip.

Ino glanced at Naruto, shaking his head. "Uh, yeah, I just got back from a mission."

"A-Rank, wasn't it?" Naruto muttered through slurps.

"Yeah, A-Rank," Ino agreed readily and grinned nervously. He quickly shoved some pork into his mouth to hide his awkward smile.

Naruto set down her bowl and wiped her lips. "Naruto told me all about it on the way here," she lied. "It was to kill some Missing Steam-nin. He took that guy out with no problems," she bragged and leaned back in her chair, resting her hands behind her head.

Ino scratched the top of his head. "Yeah, I guess I'm pretty good," he mumbled, blushing slightly.

"An A-Rank, eh? How many does that make now?" Inoichi wondered.

"Uh. . . well. . . I think. . . around 15, maybe?" Ino guessed and glanced at Naruto.

"Really? I could've sworn you've done more than that. Around 30 or so," Naruto grumbled around the rice in her mouth.

"Oh yeah, around 30," Ino corrected and laughed. He bonked the side of his head. "Silly me. Always forgetting things."

"30 A-Rank and you're only 22? That's pretty impressive, Naruto-kun," Ino's mom gushed and piled more rice onto Ino's plate.

Naruto looked on jealously.

Inoichi rubbed his chin. "What about S-Rank?" he asked, actually curious.

"16," Ino replied without a second thought.

Blinking at him, Naruto smiled in disbelief. Ino was spot on. 'How'd she know?'

"16," Inoichi repeated, clearly impressed. "I never would have imagined."

"What do you think of children, Naruto-kun?" Ino's mom asked pleasantly. She dropped another scoop of rice on the plate.

Ino, Naruto and Inoichi all started coughing, pounding their chests with their fists. "Children?" they squeaked.

"Why would I think of children?" Naruto exclaimed, staring at Ino's mom as if she were mad.

"I wasn't talking to you, Ino-chan, I was talking to Naruto-kun."

"Uh, uh, of course," Naruto replied and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Me?" Ino coughed and glanced quickly around the table. He brushed the hair out of his eyes, as without his headband tied around his forehead it fell down his face even further. "Children? Well, I don't really know what to think about them. What should I be thinking? Nothing inappropriate, of course!"

Naruto gaped at Ino.

Inoichi eyed his wife dangerously. He didn't like the direction the conversation was going.

"How many would you want?"

"Oh, well, I don't really want-" Naruto kicked Ino's shin under the table. "Ow! A lot? Ow! Few! Ow! I want a lot of kids!" he cried fearfully.

"That's wonderful! Ino-chan used to say all the time how she wanted a lot of children," Ino's mom announced joyfully. She dropped a third spoonful of rice onto Ino's plate.

Naruto slowly turned her head to look at Ino, eyes wide. 'Are you kidding me?' she screamed through her eyes.

"Well, uh, I'm sure that whomever Ino marries will provide her with the many kids she wants," Ino replied as honestly as he could and lightly patted Naruto on the back. "She and Sai seem to be doing pretty well," he added.

Inoichi blinked. "That's funny, Ino-chan just told me that she and Sai had broken up," he stated, glancing at Ino curiously. He looked at Naruto right after. "That's what you said, right?"

"Well, yeah, sorta, maybe . . . that is to say, it's a possibility that I did. I-I could be wrong," Naruto stuttered under the fierce glare from Ino.

"You broke up with Sai, did you?" Ino asked, his teeth grinding together. His fists were so tight that his knuckles started cracking on their own, and the chopsticks in his hand snapped. "And when did this happen, pray tell?"

As Ino visibly fumed, Inoichi and his mom observed his expression curiously. "Why're you so upset, Naruto-kun?" Ino's mom asked, tilting her head to the side.

Ino glanced at his mom. "Sai's my friend, and here . . . Ino is breaking his heart. I really thought you two were doing really well?" he growled at Naruto.

"The thing is. . ." Naruto started slowly and brushed the hair out of her face. She coughed, swept the bits of rice from her shirt, and blushed heavily. "I have to go to the bathroom."

"No, you don't," Ino ordered, blunt and serious.

"Yes, I do."

"You're lying," Ino stated.

"Am not!" Naruto shot back.

"Are too!"

"Uzumaki." The arguing halted and both Naruto and Ino glanced at Inoichi. He looked very upset. "Why are you trying to stop my daughter from going to the bathroom?"

"No reason," Ino replied quickly, and Naruto took the opportunity to stand up and hurry from the room. Ino spun around at her departure, worried. "FRONT TO BACK! FRONT TO BACK!" he yelled desperately, confusing both of his parents. He stood up suddenly, face going pale.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go check. . . on. . . Ino?" Ino replied lamely. He sat back down and laid his hands on his lap placidly. "Or not." Nervous, he glanced at his two parents.

"Ino's a good girl," he stated numbly. "You should be very proud."

"We are," Inoichi returned, just as bluntly. "And we'll continue to be proud of her as long as she stays away from you."

Ino looked down at his lap, feeling insulted. Why couldn't he hang out with Naruto? Naruto wasn't that bad of a person, was he?

"Honey, that's horrible," Ino's mom chided, frowning at her husband. "You're making poor Naruto-kun feel bad."

Inoichi ignored her, glancing at the clock on the wall. "What's taking Ino so long?"

Ino slouched in her seat, dread welling up in his stomach. He glanced over to where Atsuta rested, wishing he could grab it and gut himself. Naruto was in the bathroom, alone, with his body, seeing his privates and doing lord knew what. "Maybe I should go check on her?" he suggested once again, only to be shot down by a glare from Inoichi.

"Worried, Naruto-kun?" Ino's mom asked, smiling happily.

"You have no idea. . ." Ino muttered to himself, head drooping.

"What're your intentions with my daughter, Uzumaki?" Inoichi demanded and shoved some rice into his mouth in a rather threatening manner.

"No-no-no intentions. I have none," Ino stuttered, shaking his head. "I don't even know how to have intentions! She's too pretty and smart for someone as ugly and dumb as me anyway." He crammed a wad of rice into his mouth, mimicking his father in a defensive way.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Naruto-kun. You're a very handsome boy," Ino's mom stated and reached across the table, brushing some of Ino's hair out of his face as he chewed. "You could do with a haircut though."

Ino blushed at the gesture but shook his head. He swallowed the rice hard. "No, you don't have to worry, Yamanaka-san, Ino and I are just friends, if barely even that."

"I can agree with that," Naruto stated as she walked back into the dining room. She retook her place beside Ino, suddenly feeling small next to his larger body. "We're hardly friends."

Ino stared blankly at Naruto and inhaled deeply.

Naruto smiled in return and winked. She raised a hand and patted Ino's cheek. "You look good clean shaven, Naruto," she announced and her smile grew wider, showing her teeth.

Ino turned red, embarrassed and angry. He exhaled a shuddering breath and licked his lips. "I'm . . . glad you like it that way, Ino" he muttered through a forced smile.

Popping a piece of pork into her mouth, Naruto smirked back at him. "This was delicious, mom."

"Why thank you, Ino-chan, I'm glad you liked it."

"Yeah, thanks for making dinner. It was really good," Ino added, nodding his head and trying to forget about Naruto as best he could.

"You're quite welcome, Naruto-kun," Ino's mom replied, smiling, and stood to clear the table. She picked up her plate and Inoichi's.

"I'll help you with those, mom," Ino said and rose to his feet.

Everyone blinked. Everyone looked at Ino. Naruto whimpered, Inoichi frowned, and Ino's mom smiled wide, her eyes shining in pure elation.

"I mean mom!" Ino exclaimed, raising his hands and waving them in denial. "I mean Yamanaka-san!"

"You called me mom," the mother Yamanaka stated, still smiling. She put down the plates, clapping her hands together in delight. "Twice! Is this? Are you two?" She looked between Naruto and Ino with rabid excitement.

Inoichi was on his feet now, glaring daggers at Ino. He pointed at him. "You!" He pointed to the door. "Out now!"

"It's not what you think!" Ino shouted, backing away from his enraged father.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us, Ino-chan?" Ino's mom asked, positively beaming. "Something about you and Naruto?"

"What? No! Nothing!" Naruto cried and started waving her arms in protest.

"Do I hear wedding bells?"

"NO!" Naruto and Ino screamed in unison.

Inoichi was still pointing at the door.

Ino's mom shook her head at the two. "How long have you two been hiding this?"

"We're haven't been hiding anything!" Ino stated, stomping a foot.

"We're not together!" Naruto added just as forceful.

"Out!"

Ino turned to his father, scared. "Yamanaka-san, it's not what you think."

"It's not what you think, Yamamama-san!" Naruto shouted, raising her hands.

"Oh my!" Ino's mom exclaimed in shock, pointing at Ino's crotch with one hand and covering her chest with her other.

Ino covered his erection, blushing like mad. "It's not what you think!"

Naruto gaped at Ino, horrified. She turned to Inoichi, fearful for her body. "It's not what you think!"

Ino's father was frozen, staring blankly at Ino, his finger still pointed at the door.

Twisting, Naruto rounded on Ino. "Are you kidding me? I told you to get it down!"

"I tried!"

"Oh my!" Ino's mom repeated, her cheeks a light shade of pink.

"It's not that hard!" Naruto shouted, red with anger.

"It gets harder?" Ino exclaimed, glancing down.

"Oh my!"

Naruto smacked her forehead. "Oh my God, no! To get it down!"

"Well if you had just helped me with it when I asked you to," Ino retorted, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"OH MY!"

Ino immediately re-covered himself. "I'm sorry!"

Inoichi's mouth fell open.

"It's not what you think!" Naruto cried to Ino's mom, frightened. "He didn't mean it like that!"

"I think . . . I should be going . . ." Ino muttered and slowly backed away, toward the door. "So, uh, thank you, again, for dinner. It was great, and . . . uh, so was the company. Um, sorry about all this, and I am leaving." He turned and rushed from the room, hands never leaving his crotch, forgetting his hitai-ate and Atsuta behind.

Naruto sighed and slumped to the ground. Her life as she knew it was over.

"He wanted you to do WHAT!" Inoichi screamed.

Naruto shoved the Leaf hitai-ate and Atsuta into Ino's hands, breathing heavily. Her chest rose and fell, and were she in her normal body, she would've found the sight to be extremely attractive. Instead it was aggravating, the feel of her breasts moving in a particularly painful way, and her heart still pounding.

"That went pretty well," Naruto bit out sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "I mean, your parents only think that I'm a total pervert, your dad wants to cut off my dick, your mom thinks we're getting married, that you're possibly pregnant, and she won't stop referring to me as a big boy.

"'Oh, that Naruto sure is a big boy'," Naruto mimicked Ino's mom, clapping her hands together and gazing happily upward, a big smile on her face.

Ino retied the hitai-ate to his forehead after slinging Atsuta over his shoulder. "Did you at least get the scroll?"

"Surprisingly, yes, even though your dad was so pissed off that he refused to speak to me," Naruto replied, and crossed her arms under her breasts. They weighed heavily on her forearms, but she ignored it. "So tonight wasn't a total failure thanks to you and your inability to get rid of a simple boner."

"I'm sorry, I've never had a BONER before," Ino retorted.

"But to have it all through dinner!" Naruto exclaimed, throwing her arms up. "That's just ridiculous!"

Ino sighed and shook his head. "It went away for a bit, but when you went to the bathroom, it came back. . ."

Naruto pinched the bridge of her nose. "Wow, you are a pervert. . ."

"I'll practice at making it go down the next time I get one," he muttered plainly and rolled his eyes.

"And on that note, I'm going home," Naruto grumbled and shoved her hands into her pockets. She turned to go.

Before she could go, Ino grabbed her arm, stopping her. "You're coming to my apartment."

"Are you propositioning me? Again?" Naruto replied, lips curving into a mocking grin.

"First of all, I'm not letting you take my body to your place alone. No telling what you'd do to it."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I suppose that's a good argument since I wasn't lying when I said you looked good clean shaven," she stated honestly. "I'm curious about the rest of your body now."

"My apartment. You're sleeping on the couch," Ino growled and started to pull Naruto along. He turned his face away to hide his creeping blush.

"Why am I sleeping on the couch? Technically, it's my apartment, so you should sleep on the couch," Naruto retorted smartly.

"You're on the couch and there will be no touching of my body."

"Same goes to you," Naruto said. "I know what's been going through that head of yours."

"Shut up, idiot," Ino grumbled, cheeks turning redder.

The two continued down the street, drawing the attention of a few late night patrons. They watched as Naruto lead Ino down the street by the arm. Or so they believed anyway.

Naruto's eyes narrowed at the idea of touching herself. She had been so preoccupied earlier when she had gone to the bathroom, mainly with trying to figure out what the hell she was doing, that she didn't find the chance to even look at her body let alone touch any part of it. Outside of that certain area anyway. She was quite curious about Ino's breasts and what they looked like uncovered. The perverted grin that grew on her face betrayed her thoughts.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Ino said, cutting off Naruto's thoughts.

"My mind wasn't anywhere near a gutter!" Naruto announced innocently, shaking her head. "You're the one taking me to your place, and I don't know what you expect, but you're not getting any from me," she mocked, sticking her tongue out at the back of Ino's head.

Sighing in defeat, Ino shook his head. Naruto was impossible. "Tomorrow I'll start teaching you the Mind-Switch Jutsu."

"Okay, but if we sleep together, you have to make me breakfast in the morning," Naruto stated in all seriousness, nodding her head.

Ino's hand tightened around Naruto's arm. "I'm going to grind that Jutsu into your head as fast as I can," he growled.

"I bet that's not the only thing you want to grind into me as fast as you can," Naruto joked and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I really do hate you."

Next Time: Chapter 3 - 'The Training Begins' or 'We're Totally Screwed'
Ino and Naruto begin the training, with less than positive results.

A/N: I wrote this chapter very fast, but now I'm just exhausted. A lot of bad things have been happening, don't know when I'll get the energy to work on Chapter 3. Hopefully soon, but. . . it's been bad. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Review and tell me what you thought. Lots of talking in this chapter, should be more action coming up.