Summary: Alice and Jasper have taken Emmett and Edward to Alaska on a hunting trip. Bella hasn't gone to the Cullen house in a few days, but suddenly, she urgently needs to speak to one of them. But what about? (Includes mature themes! warning!)

This is a short story, probably around 10-15 chapters depending on how fast or slow the story goes, etc. It includes dark theme's so please don't read unless you can handle this...

READ: I'd like to clear it up; Edward and Bella are together, but this story is Carlisle/Bella because it's a father/daughter bonding story. Sorry for the confusion. Further chapters will show the bonding.

Bella's POV

The front door opened and Rose and I turned to the person walking through the door. It was Carlisle, home at last from his hunting trip. He had left early this morning with Esme and Edward (his distress for me had made him hungry.) and he was back early. Rose was left to watch me whilst Emmett and Jasper were dragged out of town with Alice to stock up on their wardrobes. Even though I loved them all dearly, it was nice to spend some quiet time with Rose for a change.

Carlisle sat on the other side of me on the couch and I felt them both watching as I pushed my head back against the soft leather and sighed. "I don't want to press charges against Jacob." I murmured quietly.

I felt Rose stiffen beside me and opened my eyes to look at her. "Why ever not?"

I swallowed absently and shrugged. "I'm not strong enough to put up a fight. I don't want to go through the whole process and try to get him to jail knowing he may not. I don't care what Edward thinks, I just want him to be charged and then to be let go…I just…I can't…"

Carlisle reached for my hand gently and made soothing motions with his thumb. "I understand, Bella. But do you really think this is best? He will be able to walk free."

"I know," I whispered, unable to use my voice. "I just know he won't do it to anyone else…he only did it to me because he was angry that I loved Edward and not him…he only wanted me…As long as I never see him again I'll be okay…"

The room fell silent for a few moments and a few tears bubbled at the corner of my eyes. I was still a wreck; I couldn't control any of my emotions these days. It was scaring me a little.

There was a feeling deep down inside me I'd never felt before. It's a feeling of sheer hell; indescribable. It's the thought in knowing that for that split second of happiness there will be that minute, that hour, that day, that week, that month, that year or that life time of misery to accompany that happiness which you will never truly purge yourself of.

That's what happens.

You let go and you ignore everything that makes you happy. You hold onto the misery, the angst, the brokenness and the desolation your life entails because being miserable and heart broken is only thing that your life equates to now, and what it will ever only equate to. In the end, it's better feeling empty than to not feel anything at all.

You're so empty, you're cold, and you're so tired and run down. It's so much easier pushing away the guilt. You can't escape, not even through reading (which I loved with all my heart.) Though you still try everything you possibly can to make it go away. Anything really that can distract your mind away from the obsession of misery.

Over the past few days I've come to learn that you do not have to be in a hospital bed, with drips, bandages or needles to be sick and make people worry. To make people realize that you're just a sad little girl who is actually sick and in need of help. Of course this feeling will have destroyed any self-esteem you might have had, and you'll be too scared to ask for the help you need. You just want people to realize before you actually say it first.

Then one-minute things will go wrong, and you'll fall apart all over again. Then you start to truly detest what this earth has given you since the day you were born. You just want to disappear, sink down somewhere and never resurface. You want out - out from all the mental pain and confusion eating away at you.

Then it happens. You rush to your release – those sharp little objects you try to keep hidden from watchful eyes. You do what you need to do, secretly hoping the people around you won't notice or smell the blood.

How stupid were you for even considering that things could get better?

"Bella?" I was rattled out of my thoughts by Carlisle's voice.

I turned from staring at the rug to look into his swirling, golden eyes. "Yeah?"

"Are you alright?" He was so sincere. There was clear concern on his face for me and it made me ache a little more.

How could I lie to someone like him? It was just impossible. "I'm…." I huffed. "No."

Rose and Carlisle edged themselves closer, both placing soft hands on my knees in comfort and support. "What is worrying you, my child?" Carlisle gently murmured as he brushed a piece of loose hair from my face.

I couldn't tell him. How I could I tell a family as perfect as the Cullen's that I no longer wanted to be on this earth?

Back in Phoenix, when I'd been severely bullied, the negative feelings had started rolling in. I'd spoken to Renee about it, and the countless days of trying to look after her seemed to distract me from the pain. When I'd moved to Forks, the feelings had come out of their hiding place and tapped me on the back, and the first few days were hell. I guess I just stumbled over them. Then I met the Cullen's. Whenever I was around them they stole away the pain and replaced it with laughter, love and joy. They were all I ever wanted.

Was the recent event responsible for these feelings coming back? How, in a matter of days, had my life turned into a swirling chaos of self destruction and self harm?

I couldn't even bare to look at blood. Well before the rape anyway. Ever since I picked up that razor, blood became memorizing to me. Of course, it still made me sick whenever I saw it, but not when I was the one responsible for it. That little stab of physical pain the blade brought took over the mental pain…for a while. Tiptoeing around the Cullen's hadn't been easy.

Thankfully, on the day Jasper had smelled it, I told him it was probably one of the old cuts bleeding a little. He believed the lie. Every day I'd been able to sneak in one or two cuts to the wrist. I still couldn't wrap my head around why I did it. It just made me feel better, though I did regret it every time I did it. I mean, I was already going to have enough scars. The words on my arm, and the multiple ones on my wrists. I wasn't making this any easier for me. I was thankful I was able to hide them with bandages. Carlisle said he would have to remove them soon though.

"I'm not ready to speak yet…" I told Carlisle honestly.

He nodded and held out his arms for me. Without even thinking, I lurched forward into the strong arms that bought me comfort and settled on his lap. I felt Rose stroking my hair on the side of us.

"I don't know what to do anymore." I muttered against Carlisle's soft plain t-shirt.

He ran his comforting, long fingers up and down my back gently and placed a tender kiss on the top of my head. "Dear Bella, no matter what you choose to do, we will always be here for you cheering you on. We are a family and that means we support each other and try to do what is best for the others who may be affected. If, however, the choices bring danger, then of course we will deal with them the best we can. No one is pushed away because of their decision."

And that's why I couldn't tell them. Not yet anyway. I knew that they would support me even though they would be disappointed, but they were just such nice people and I didn't know how to handle things.

Tears slipped down my face and ruined Carlisle's shirt, but he didn't seem to mind.

He just wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, gently brushing my cheek and whispering comforting words.

And before I could even register what they were doing, a tune emerged from Carlisle's voice. It was a song that could only have come from deep down in the heart, and I knew Carlisle was responsible for it. It didn't take long before Rose's enthralling voice joined Carlisle's. The music produced was mesmerizing that I couldn't help but to smile as I closed my eyes.

These 2 people had become such a huge part of my life, and I rested there, in my second father's arms, my sister's hand on my back, pondering over the little bit of hope the Lord had gracefully blessed me with.

Even if inside myself I wasn't feeling too great, I knew the Cullen's would always be there to welcome me home.

And I knew in that moment that whenever the time seemed right, I would need to speak to Carlisle about what was bothering me.

Thank you for the reviews :') So…probably about 2-5 chapters left of this story…I'm getting into it but I don't want to drag it along too much because I know I'll ruin it so, what do you guys want to see in the next few chapters?

AND READ; Just because Bella said she didn't want to press charges doesn't mean Jake won't get sent down!****

What should happen next? But please feel free to check out my other 3 stories too! :) I promise they're just as good ;D I love you! :)