Chapter 5 – Extraordinary Machine (for everyone who is pissed at me because I spent so much time to get this out and then reposted my story, this is the chapter to read that I left off at THANKS FOR STILL READING- Especial big THANK YOU TO Rain4915
(A/N Sorry if Bella seems to forgive Edward too easily but I wanted to get on with the storyline and her human life wasn't supposed to play a big role in this story. And it wasn't complete forgiveness, kind of spur of the moment act that she didn't really mean because she wanted to ease his pain and she did feel grateful for the rescue from mike. Anyway…if you need further explanation- just ask …on with the story…)
I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes. I certainly haven't been spreading myself around. I was always liberal in every way but that one…
I'm still only traveling by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb, but I'm good at being uncomfortable, so I can't stop changing all the time…
I notice that Edward is always on the go. It's almost as if he won't go slow, so that he doesn't focus on his life that's been laid out before him…
I notice-
"BELLA?!"
I notice, that in this house, people seem to enjoy interrupting my thought process…
"Oh god! What's wrong with her?! I don't think she's breathing. OH MY GOD! Is she dead?!"
"First of all Alice, she doesn't need to breathe. Furthermore, she's already dead, as are you- along with the rest of us."
"Well Carlisle, what do you suggest happened then. I don't hear you voicing any suggestions."
The man I now know to be Carlisle, sighed.
"I don't know Alice. Bella is very confusing to me. I know that I'm not the only one here who feels that way."
Alice and Jasper let out similar responses of agreement inside their own minds.
Edward let out an internal sigh.
Why does he do that? Is he annoyed of me? Because I was under the impression that he had just apologized. Was he already regretting that decision?
Comfortable as I am right now, I need to confront him about it, and face to face. I don't want this awkwardness between us to last any longer.
"Edward, how do I annoy you? I thought we had some sort of a mutual agreement? Maybe it was just on my part…I don't know…just please tell me what's bothering you so I can understand."
I sat up and looked at Edward, and only him. I now realize how wrong I was to judge him before. Sure…he saved me to be damned to this life for eternity…but…he SAVED me.
I know that I would rather live for eternity than live a human life of shame brought on by Mike and what he could easily have done if Edward hadn't shown up.
The same thing happened to Edward obviously. No one would choose to have this life. He was probably saved by someone else in the Cullen family. When he was first changed, I'm sure he felt the same way as I do now.
That's probably his reason for being annoyed. Knowing how I feel but not being able to express in thoughts or words, how deeply sorry he is, and hoping I'll understand his reason.
I do understand him, and I want him to know that I realize how hard it was for him to turn me into a …vampire, but I forgive him. I need him to know that I'm being truthful about this, and it's not out of pity. I may never fully comprehend my own actions but...I'm giving him forgiveness. Not friendship. It's an offer to be at least decent to each other, but nothing more.
But the look he's giving me now is one of pleading. Pleading to keep this a private conversation…but there's no better time then the present.
I blocked myself out of his mind, but he was being persistent.
"No Edward. I won't allow you to just shrug this off. If we're going to be living together for forever, then we can't have this constant grudge against eacho"-
Right then, a white blur attacked me. Alice slammed into me, causing me to fall back into the bed and slamming my head against the iron frame.
"Jeez, Alice. Settle down. I just got over my migraine, and I don't need another one."
I rubbed the back of my head, and checked for damage. No bumps or bruising…maybe pain only existed in my mind…
"Is that what happened?!" Alice blurted out. "Vampires don't get headaches. Do you think maybeithastodowithherpower Carlisle?"
Emmett was booming with laughter.
"Bella's right Alice," Emmett said, chuckling. "You need to settle down. No one can understand anything you just said."
"Well, Carlisle" Alice began and slower this time. "Do you think Bella's headache had something to do with what we were talking about before? About her maybe having some sort of power of mind control?"
I am so confused. "Wait…WHAT? What are you…mind control…I don't…GAH!"
"Bella, I'm so sorry. Alice gets a bit straightforward sometimes. This must be very overwhelming to you. Oh my… I'm being very rude. We were never properly introduced. My name is Carlisle, Carlisle Cullen. Welcome to my home."
Carlisle stretched out his hand to me and I took it graciously.
"Thank you Carlisle. So are you something like the head of this…how to say it...umm…unorthodox family?"
Carlisle laughed.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Alongside my wife Esme, of course."
I recognized that motherly voice from before, as I saw a beautiful woman with similar looks to Snow White, come towards me with outstretched arms.
I hope her room is all to her liking…
"Oh Bella, I'm so glad to know you. I'm Esme."
I awkwardly returned the hug and hesitantly put my arms around Esme. Edward, noticing how uncomfortable I was started to smirk at me. I playfully began to glare, but a smile was tugging at my lips.
Esme pulled away and continued to smile at me. I returned the smile and turned to look at Alice.
"Now, before I was so rudely interrupted…ahem Alice ahem…"
Alice looked guilty while everyone else began to laugh.
"…I was trying to have a conversation with Edward."
Edwards smile immediately began to disappear as he turned away from me.
"I have to go do…,"Edward trailed off, mumbling something unintelligible, and turning gracefully out of the room.
I've notice that he'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as they go fast from whence he came…- but he's no good at being uncomfortable, so he can't stop staying exactly the same.
Alice wasn't going to let her opportunity slide.
"So…since Edward doesn't seem up to that talk just yet…would you mind terribly if Carlisle and I asked you a few questions about last night."
"Last night? What time is it now?"
"Just after 4 a.m.," Carlisle answered.
"Wow…I must have been pretty deep in thought to be daydreaming that long…that was, what…almost three hours ago?"
"Ummm…Bella," Alice said, "… You weren't daydreaming. You were out cold and totally unresponsive. It was almost as if you had died…again."
"Bella," Carlisle began. "I know we didn't have the time before to explain to you about the details of vampirism but there are probably some myths I should clear up right away." He took a deep breath before continuing. "It's not...normal... for vampires...to sleep. I can understand your confusion. You've probably seen many movies where we sleep in coffins or hang from the ceiling right?"
He looked up to me for confirmation but I didn't move. He continued anyway.
"Well, Hollywood doesn't always get things right," he said with a shaky laugh.
"I'm still not sure I understand. How do you explain what happened to me then?"
"We don't completely understand either."
Spectacular. Not only did I not fit in among humans, but I was a freak among vampires as well. Esme seeing my distress as only a true mother could, immediately began to comfort me.
"Oh, don't worry yourself about it dear. We're pretty sure it's a good thing dear. It could possibly be another power?"
Esme ended off in a question looking up to her husband for some confirmation.
He nodded and began to speak.
"As you might have heard Alice before, we have a bit of a theory that your so called "daydream" is maybe something more. Some sort of power that has to do with the mind. Let me explain. My theory is that our characters as...no..how to phrase it...our strongest human traits are...intensified as we undergo the transformation into vampires. Not all vampires have these special powers but you already do know a few who do. Edward and his mind control, which you also have inherited. Alice and her power to see the future."
Carlisle then gestured to Jasper who had been hiding in the shadows behind my bed, quietly taking in all the information that Carlisle was providing.
"Jaspers abilities as well of course. I don't think it was fully explained to you, but Jasper has the talent of empathy. He feels and manipulates emotions around him."
I quietly listened Carlisle as he laid this new information on me. Trying to process it through my brain, which was already in overload.
Carlisle now let Alice take over.
Now coming back to you...our reason for thinking you might have had an addition power came immediately after you were changed. We don't know...why...but you somehow, when you were human, were already able to block out powers. At that time, you had control, well not control. This is probably very confusing I'm sorry. You are a very complicated person Bella," she said with a small smile.
"It's hard to explain you, especially your mind. What I was saying before was that you were able to control your ability to block powers that were internal. Not external because my 'sight' still had you in my visions before you were bitten."
"My empathy had still worked as well," Jasper added. " I could feel your pain through the transformation. I tried to calm you at times, but... the pain was too great. I had to leave the room at times. I'm sorry for my weakness," he whispered.
Alice left my side at the bed to comfort him. He took her into his arms, thankful for the consolation.
Jasper feeling much more at ease thanks to Alice's help started up again.
"That's why I was so surprised when we had been fully introduced. It was funny... I didn't realize that I couldn't feel your emotions until after we touched. I guess I knew that there was no need to check. I'd been in the same condition as you before, so I knew that the confusion and anger would be overwhelming. So I thought I would help the best way I could. Calm you down. Imagine my surprise when my talent was played back onto me for once. I now understood Alice's frustration when her visions were becoming more and more hazy as your transformation progressed."
"Eventually I could see nothing in your future at all," Alice mumbled to me.
I was finally beginning to understand. The vision on the stairway. How Alice had stopped to concentrate on my future yet somehow I had seen it. The attack of an entire spectrum of emotions when Jasper had touched my hand. The vibes of anguish, not only coming off of me, but Edward as well. Esmes unconditional motherly love, and everyone else...
"So I have some sort of repellant?" I asked Carlisle.
"Right," Carlisle said, continuing to assess the situation at hand. "Your human ability to block seemed to transform into some sort of shield where you're able to repel the attackers power against them." Carlisle paused for a moment to let me collect my thoughts. "I think with more time you'll be able to hone it. Control it. Control when you want to block or repel. That sort of thing."
"You sure are an extraordinary machine Bella," Jasper barely got out before he and Alice started laughing.
"The roads just roll out behind me I guess. Hmm...," I mused. I didn't know how to respond. What to say. I wished Emmet were here to make some witty comment to break the silence. Where was he by the way? And Rose? They must have followed Edward out... Wait. Why did Edward leave again? He had irritated me... I had to wake up to confront him. THAT'S RIGHT. Oh great, now I was confused all over again.
"So, how do you explain the sleep?" I asked Carlisle
He grinned mischievously. "Now this is interesting."