DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.
Chapter Seven-
Please, Please, PleaseGive us something familiar
Something similar
To what we know already
That will keep us steady
Steady
Steady going nowhere
"Would you just wait a second, please? I'd like to tell you…"
"Just please Edward. Please…please…No more melodies. They lack impact. They're petty, and you've already done it before. Please just leave me alone."
"That's not what I was going to…BELLA…WAIT!"
XXX
I was humming some unknown tune to myself as I wandered aimlessly around the woods. Maybe I should start writing again. A song can be distracting. Distraction is good.
"Do you know how hard it is to find you?"
I sighed and turned around slowly to see Edward running towards me.
"Obviously not hard enough," I mumbled angrily. "Who told you where I was?"
"Nobody told me. I followed your scent." He was quiet for a second before he looked away with a pained expression. "Bella…why are you avoiding me? I just want to talk to you."
"Because I don't need your apologies."
He opened his mouth to protest, but I wasn't finished.
"At best the buy you time until you next step out of line." I turned my back on him not being able to look him in the eye.
" I could never…ever…hurt you," he said through a choked throat.
"You've done it before. How is it so hard to believe that you could do it again?"
"Because I l…"
"That was rhetorical."
"Bella…" he said in frustration. "I don't care. The only thing that matters is that you just listen to what I have to say. After that I don't care what happens as long as you just hear me out…alright?"
I broke into a sprint.
"BELLA," he growled. He ran after me, but I was faster. He wouldn't be catching me.
XXX
Please, please, please…I'm so sick of crying these tearless sobs. You'd think I was a siren.
Three weeks to the day of my change.
I've been laying face down into my bed day after day…hiding, doing whatever I can to stay out of everyone's way. Emmet does not accept this.
"So, what should we do today," he asks me. Everyday is the same. Everyday he asks. Everyday I shrug.
He sighed and fell back on the bed so we were lying side by side. I heard him go through multiple gaming possibilities for today in his head. I went back to my own mindless thought wanderings. I heard someone out side my door. Jasper.
I've been looking for you two.
He walked around the side of my bed and took the same position lying next to me as Emmet on the opposite side. I had a big bed.
I turned my head over to acknowledge I was listening. He continued on.
I was reading downstairs waiting for Alice, I nodded sympathetically. Alice, Rose, and Esme had been on a shopping trip all day today. I had vehemently refused to go with. I threatened Alice with the loss of her power if she made me go with her. I had been working on mastering my 'block' allowing Alice to see visions with me in them but it only worked if I didn't take a major part in what it was that she was seeing. Any visions with me playing a central role were still giving her a blank wall.
…anyway, Edward's been on a rampage. Throwing things and such. I had to get out of there.
"Do you know why he's so angry?" I was whispering, hoping Edward wouldn't hear from downstairs.
No, Jasper said almost too quickly. Hmmm…what are you thinking about Jasper…
JPOVThink of Alice…think of Alice…Alice…Alice…I repeated my mantra over and over trying, and nearly failing, to block out Bella. If she found out about Edward…he would kill me.Alice…Alice…Alice… All this pent up anger…the man is about to explode. That mixed with his confusion about Bella and his feelings for her…Alice…Alice…Alice…He was a total masochist. Falling in love with a woman who would hate him for eternity, literally.
Bella turned her head slowly toward me. She raised her eyebrows and looked at me questioningly. Oh god, what did she hear?
Think of Alice…Alice…Everything Alice…Where is Alice?…When is she going to be home? ALICE…ALICE…
BPOVI was trying to block out Jasper and Emmet from my mind. This was proving to be harder than I originally thought, with a love sick desperate Jasper screaming Alice's name repeatedly. Every time I thought I was in control, his screaming would invade my thoughts.
I turned my head up to Jasper slowly, raising my eyebrows in disbelief.
ALICE…ALICE…"Jasper I know you miss her, but you're beginning to sound a bit desperate. She's only been gone a few hours."
He stared at me for a few seconds before his shoulders slumped and he let out a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess I am being a bit ridiculous, but I'm nothing without her you know?"
"No I don't." I started to mumble beneath my breath as Jasper turned his head away from me on the pillow, feigning sleep. "You'd think the guarantee of eternity together would relieve the separation anxiety."
Emmet started chuckling at me. "I totally agree."
"Agree? Emmet, you're just like him."
"I am not," Emmet said horrified, defending himself.
"You worship Rosalie. Why is that embarrassing?"
"It's not embarrassing. I willingly admit that Rosalie is my goddess. I do worship the ground she walks on. I just don't think that I get separation anxiety whenever she leaves. I love Rosalie enough that I don't need to be wallowing around in my self pity like Jasper, because I know she'll be home soon enough. Don't get me wrong…I worry about her, but…I've been the victim to Rosalie's wrath plenty of times…as much as I wish I could, I know she doesn't need me to be able to defend herself against anything that comes her way." Emmet finished off with a small smile.
"Emmet, she needs you. You might think that Rosalie can handle herself because she has these vampire powers, but…there are things…things that can hurt her that superhuman strength has no power against. You do so much for her that you don't realize. Don't ever, ever think that you're useless," I said scolding him.
"I mean you've been married nearly 50 years right?"
"Yeah," he answered me quietly.
"It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Rosalie is still, if not more, happy as the day of her first honeymoon." He gave me a goofy smile at the hint of their multiple weddings.
"Just keep doing whatever it is you're doing Em. She loves you for it."
"Thanks little sis," he said while rolling over on top of me to tickle me.
I was choking from laughing so hard. "Em, EMMET STOP," I screamed. He let out a boisterous laugh and finally rolled off of me.
XXX
Half an hour of silence later..
"Got any tips for us from the female perspective?" Emmet asked.
I laughed. "To tell you the truth, I've never been in a relationship that got very serious but, as a woman…I can tell you to treat her as much as possible, which you probably already know." He nodded.
"To quote Oscar Wilde, 'How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.'… Well in our case it would be normal vampire being… but the quote applies just the same."
Jasper turned his head back to the two of us. "So you like Oscar Wilde?"
"I think everyone can appreciate a genius. Plus he can make me laugh. What's not to love," I replied. Jasper smiled back with a grin. "What else do you like? You're a mystery to us in this house. We barely know anything about you."
"I should tell Edward about that quote," Emmet said quietly to himself.
"The Oscar Wilde one? Why?" I asked Emmet, ignoring Jasper.
"Yeah," he answered slowly. Jaspers eyes were wide as he looked between the two of us.
"If it's about something that I'm not supposed to know, then I'm not going to force it out of you."
"Bella I don't even need to say this out loud for you to know that anything we try to keep from you is pointless. It doesn't need to be forced out. We only need to think about it."
"You know that I try as hard as I can to block out your thoughts. This is a horrible so called 'gift'. Peoples thoughts are supposed to be their own. It's an invasion of privacy…"
Emmet's laugh cut me off before my ramble could go on.
"Alright…alright…we believe you."
"So are you going to tell me this big secret then?" I asked.
Jasper smiled at me before rolling onto his back and looking up to the ceiling. "Edwards been having girl troubles," he answered.
"I thought he could use Oscars advice. That's why I wanted to tell him the quote," Emmet said with a laugh.
"I was wondering about that," I questioned. "So has he been trying to talk to her? Is that why he's so angry, because they're in a fight?"
"I guess you could say that…" Jasper said slowly. Emmet took over, obnoxious, but as loveable as ever.
"They were never really together. The relationship is entirely one sided. The girl is totally oblivious."
"OH! Rosalie was telling me about her! Is it Tanya from the Denali coven? Cause Rose said every time you guys go to Alaska she won't leave Edward alone, no matter what."
Emmet let out a booming laugh.
"Yeah, that's the girl. Totally oblivious, like I said."
XXX
An hour later…"So Bella…" Jasper drawled in his southern accent. "You never did tell us what you liked other than Oscar Wilde. We want to know more about the mystery of Bella Swan."
I heard the front door open as Esme, Rose, and Alice tumbled in. I got up, and stood on top of the bed looking down on Emmet and Jasper.
" 'Women are meant to be loved, not be understood.' And you love me right big bro'," I said to the both of them.
I laughed and jumped off the bed and ran out the door.
Jasper groaned.
XXX
I pressed down on the lowest ivory key, while the sound echoed throughout the entire house, breaking the eerie silence. Everyone had left to go hunting. I was invited to join, but the inability to sleep from the excessive amounts of hunting done recently, have left me frustrated. Sleep was one of the few things to look forward to as a human. Being a vampire, sure there were perks…but none of that interested me. The only interest I had was the ignorance that sleep provided.
…But until I was tired enough to sleep, I had to find something to occupy myself with. Right now I was testing out a song I had been humming all day, on the piano. I had already written a poem just recently that I was planning to change up a bit to fit as lyrics. I played a few measures and repeat. I was ready for lyrics now…my voice came out low as the beat to the song was almost achingly slow.
"You moved like honey…in my dream last night." I dropped my hands an octave lower. "Yeah, some old fires were burning.
"You came near to me and you endeared to me, but you couldnt quite discern me.
"Does that scare you? Ill let you run away. But your heart will not oblige you," I sang as the octave rose.
"You'll remember me like a melody. Yeah, I'll haunt the world inside you. And my big secret - gonna win you over, slow like honey, heavy with mood." I played another few measures before singing again.
"I'll let you see me, Ill covet your regard. I'll invade your demeanor. And you'll yield to me like a scent in the breeze. And youll wonder what it is about me." I went back to the chorus.
"It's my big secret - keeping you coming. Slow like honey, heavy with mood.
"Though dreams can be deceiving. Like faces are to hearts. They serve for sweet relieving. When fantasy and reality lie too far… apart.
"So I stretch myself across, like a bridge," I belted out. "And I pull you to the edge and stand there waiting…trying to attain…the end to satisfy the story.
"Shall I release you?," I asked myself.
"Must I release you?
"As I rise to meet my glory," my voice rose along with the keys of the baby grand.
"But my big secret, gonna hover over
your life. Gonna keep you reaching. When Im gone like yesterday. When
I'm high like heaven. When I'm strong like music
cause Im slow
like honey, and heavy with mood."
After finishing the song I had a bit of a piano solo, then trailed off down the scale with my foot still on the pedal for the echo.
I heard an intake in breath behind me and immediately jumped off of the piano bench. Without my foot on the pedals there was now absolutely no sound and the eerie silence, once again, took over.
He just stood there, not moving, or speaking. Just breathing steadily as he stared at me. I on the other hand, was as panicked as the night we met in the alley. I ceased to breathe. I fidgeted. His gaze intensified. My throat began to itche from lack of air. I searched around me frantically, looking for what I don't know.
For someone else?
For something to say?
An exit?
I looked back to him and he was still trying to stare a hole through me.
He took a step forward.
I took a step back.
He made another dilatory movement…and another.
I ran to the door.
I struggled with the handle, furiously trying to get outside. Edwards arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me back to him.
"Where are you going?" he whispered.
"I don't know. I don't …know. I just need to get out of here. I've overstayed my welcome."
"That's rediculous," he snarled. "What would give you that idea?"
"You mostly."
"What?" He stepped back in shock, letting go of me.
"It's obvious that my presence only makes you angry." He let out a loud huff. "I'm sure I would annoy the hell out of me too, so don't worry about it." He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. I needed to get out of this house before anyone else came back.
"I need to get out of here. I can't stay. Please, just…gooodbye."
"You. Can't. Leave. Me," he said with so much force that I paused with my hand on the door to turn around and look back at him.
"Why not," I asked.
He looked down to the floor. "Have you really not been listening to anyone's thoughts at all these past weeks?"
"No. I haven't."
He looked away from me, to stare at the wall.
"Whatever it was, it must not have been that important."
With that, I ran out the door, running full speed east. No destination. Just…away.
Steady
Steady going nowhere
XxxXXXxxx"A one way ticket to Italy please."
xxxXXXxxx
(A/N Bella can let Alice see small visions with her because Bella became more comfortable. It's a defense mechanism, and now that she knows that the Cullen family won't hurt her, she has let down her 'block' a little bit.)
Also…record review for one chapter is nine so if I get ten, I'll post before Breaking Dawn comes out. Otherwise don't expect a chapter anytime soon because I will be reading, as will you probably…
QUESTION – Favorite song and or band.
Mine changes constantly…right now…Song – A nervous tic motion of the head to the left, Andrew Bird. Favorite band is either Feist or Tokyo Police Club