Chapter 11: What Kind of Love?

I woke up, probably hours later, in the same hospital bed I fell asleep on. I rubbed my groggy eyes and looked to my sides.

I doubled-took to my right and smiled at what I saw. Troy was standing beside the bed with Anna in his arms. He was rocking her. I just watched as Troy held our baby. He looked like a natural with her in his arms, it made me feel that he would be a good father. And I hoped he would.

He looked up and saw me awake. He smiled. He came over and sat beside me on the bed. I scooted closer to him and kissed his shoulder. He turned and smiled at me. He turned and laid Anna in my arms. I cradled her to my chest and watched her sleep.

He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer to him. He kissed me on my forehead. I looked at him slyly, then back down.

"I know how you feel about me."

"Yea."

I looked at him curiously. "Why? How?"

"Sex changes people." He smiled down at me, using the exact same words I had. I smiled back.

"Yes it does, but it doesn't change the fact that you can't be in love with me." I copied him.

"Yes I can. You just gave birth to my first child-" His voice was as soft as a caress and his eyes were looking at the infant in my arms.

I don't know why, but his words brought tears to my eyes.

I interrupted him.

"That's not a reason for you to love me. Just because I accidentally got pregnant and had your child." I stroked Anna's head. "You don't have to love me. You don't have to return my love. There doesn't have to be the feeling with the sex. It's okay." I said and used my hand to push away from him on the bed. Before I could pull my hand back, he grabbed it and pulled me back over to him. He wrapped his arms around me and Anna.

"I-" Before he could finish, one of the nurse walked in.

"Time to take the baby." I shrugged off Troy's arms, and handed Anna to the nurse.

Once the nurse left, Troy wrapped his arms back around me.

I don't know why, but I was upset. "Let go of me." I growled. Something had made me angry, very angry. He didn't move his arms. "I said, let me go!" I pushed off his arms and slid off the bed.

Troy was very confused. "Whats wrong?"

"I don't want for you to love me because you have to. Because I had your child. Because I need it. Because you think you have to. I want you to love me because you want to."

"I do-"

"No, you don't. You love me like its a job. I don't WANT to be an obligation. I will not be an obligation!" I shouted at him.

"Baby, come sit back down." I ignored him. I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated. I'm not a job. "Shar," When I didn't respond again, he grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his lap, against his chest. The tears came back. "Shar look. I love you, but its because of the reasons you think. I love you because of you." I sighed and laid my head on his chest.

"I don't believe you." I mumbled. I sniffed a little, trying to hold back my tears.

"Do you remember that night when you asked me for info?" I nodded against his chest. "You had asked why I kept coming back to you and I had told you it was none of your business?" I nodded again. "I told you that because I wasn't sure myself, but now I know. I kept coming back because I developed feelings for you. I started to fall in love with you. That's how I know I love you."

He's lying. A voice in my head said. The voice was the voice of common sense. It had to be, because nothing else made sense about this.

I couldn't stop my tears from pouring out. "No you don't. You're lying. I don't-I don't believe you!" I sobbed and shook my head against his chest.

"Sharpay, look at me. C'mon, look at me!" I buried my head in his chest and sobbed. He grabbed my head between his hands and pulled me away from him. I kept crying. "Look at me." I looked down. "I said look at me." His voice was low and hard. I looked at him. "I'm in love with you, not because I knocked you up. Not because you're the mother of our first child. Not because you went through twelve long hours of labor to give birth to our precious baby girl. Not because you carried our daughter for almost nine months. I love you not because you're a job or an obligation. I'm in love with you because you are you. Because I was already falling in love with you before I found out you were pregnant. I just didn't want to admit it. I'm in love with you, so just get over it and accept it like I did when you told me you were in love with me. Ok?" There was a harsh tone to the end of his speech and it scared me. I found myself cringing at his words, but he didn't notice.

"Ok." I nodded. "You love me. I accept that."

He softened up. "Thank you." He smiled, pulled me closer to him, and kissed me. It was sweet yet passionate. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he flipped us over on the bed.

His hands traced my sides as mine ran over his stomach. He was so fit! He had the best abs ever. I pulled up his shirt and ran my hands over his stomach, over and over again. His hands ran up my sides to where the top of my gown was, and started to pull the straps down. I heard the door open, but was too engulfed in what me and Troy were doing.

"Uh-uh." This made us jump apart. We looked up and saw the nurse with Anna in her arms. "None of that." She motioned between us. "No sex for eight weeks. Your body isn't ready for that. Your body needs to heal."

"Oh." Was all I could say.

Troy climbed off the bed and rested in a chair by the wall. I re-adjusted my gown.

The nurse laughed and walked closer to the bed. She handed me my day old baby. "Shes hungry." The nurse said.

"How? I haven't learned how to feed her yet."

"You're going to be breast-feeding, right?"

"Yea." Then she started to explain how to latch the baby on and all this other stuff.

"Now it may hurt the first couple of times, but after a while it should stop hurting."

"Is this why my chest got so big?"

"Mhm. They grew in order to store the breast milk for your baby."

"Oh." I turned and shot a glare at Troy when I heard him mumble something like 'Not that anybody is complaining.'

"Are you ready?" I nodded. "Okay, now move your gown down." I looked at her wary. "Oh don't worry. I deal with this all the time." I nodded and pulled the sides of my gown down to reveal my chest. I did exactly what she said and the baby latched on quickly.

I winced as she started to feed. It did hurt. It felt as if someone was pinching me, over and over again.

After about ten minutes, Anna started to slow down and then stopped completely. I looked down and saw that she was sleep. I looked up at the nurse. "What do I do now?"

The nurse told me what to do and I did it. "Now rock her and pat her back to burp her." I swayed Anna side to side and patted her back. After a few minutes I heard a small burp come from her, and I smiled.

The nurse grabbed Anna. "As she gets older, she'll probably want to eat more and longer." I nodded and watched her leave with Anna.

As I pulled up my gown, I heard Troy whistle. I turned to him and he was still sitting in the same chair. He looked at me.

"Wow. No sex for eight weeks."

I smiled at him. "It's gonna be hard for you isn't it?" I asked him. He smiled back.

"Maybe."

I was just about to say something else when the door opened. In walked Chad. "Hey Chad, hows it going?"

"Fine, but I just got off the phone with your mom. She wanted to know where you were."

"What did you tell her?"

"That you were with me at my house. She believed me. I'm still surprised that your mom didn't know that you were pregnant. You were so big, everybody at school noticed. She lives with you, how could she not?"

"Because she's never home, so she never noticed." I said sadly.

Troy was about to get up and comfort me, but Chad beat him to it. He sat on the bed beside me and put his arm around my shoulders. "Its okay. Shes just trying to put a roof over your head. And plus," I heard a strange humor enter his tone. "She'll definitely notice when the baby comes home and wakes her up." He laughed and I joined in. I leaned into him.

This is what he always did. Make a joke when I'm sad and try to make me happy. I loved my best friend. "Thank you, Chad." I hugged him and he rubbed my back.

I saw Troy get up out of the chair out the corner of my eye. "I'm gonna go get us something to eat." He said before walking out the door.

Chad pulled away from me. "So hows it going?"

"Fine. I just learned how to breast-feed my baby!"

"Really? Damn. I missed it." He gave me a sly smile.

"Hey!" I playfully hit his arm.

"I'm just kidding. How did it go?"

"Fine. It hurt, but that's how its suppose to be. I also learned how to burp her."

"That's great. When are you going home?"

"I think they said two weeks. And I can't wait to take my little bundle of joy home. It was like magic to hold my little angel in my arms for the first time. And shes so beautiful."

"Yes she is. She's just like her mother." He smiled down at me. "She looks so much like you already, and she's only a day old."

I looked away from him, blushing. I could never take a compliment from him. "Shut up. You're making me blush."

"With good reason."

"But don't forget, she has some Troy in her."

"Oh, yes. But she's still beautiful."

"Thank you Chad. You're my best friend and I love you."

"Tell me something I don't know, and I love you too." He chuckled.

I kissed him on his cheek, my lips ended up catching the edge of his mouth, and hugged him.

Then Troy walked back into the room with a Wendy's bag in his hand. He paused for a second when he saw us hugging, but then continued into the room.

I ended the hug and turned to Troy. When he handed me my food, I swear I saw an emotion flicker across his face and through his eyes. I couldn't put a name to this emotion, but it made me uneasy.

Tell me what you think.

R&R Please
Bre