Sorry this is such a short one, but figured I better make Steph a little happier ASAP!

Valentine's Day

Chapter 8

"Alright then." I thought he was going to say something else, but he didn't. I fought back tears. I wouldn't let him see me cry. I was concentrating so hard on not crying that the sound of my front door closing caught me off guard. I couldn't believe it.

Ranger was gone.

I couldn't believe it. He had gone. He just left. I was trying to talk to him, to help him, to make it better, and he just left. My knees gave out and I sank down to the floor. The tears came and I let them. I had lost him. I had truly, truly lost him.

The next morning I woke up in my bed. I didn't remember getting up off the floor and dragging to bed, but apparently I had. I felt like I had the hangover to end all hangovers. Unfortunately I hadn't had a drink last night. My pounding head, aching chest and upset stomach were all residuals of last night's emotional breakdown.

I still couldn't wrap my head around it. Ranger just walked out on me. I thought we were starting to have an almost real conversation and he just left. He said he wanted to remain friends, but he certainly wasn't acting very friendly. I needed to figure out my next step. If I should even have a next step. It was too much for me to deal with. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. I needed happy. I needed Merry. I needed cookies.

I decided that in order to survive the next three days, I had better reestablish my citizenship in Denial Land. It was the only way I was going to make it. First step and a one-way ticket: I picked up my phone and called my mother.

"Hi Mom, I was wondering if I could come over and maybe bake with you today?" I blurted out as soon as the phone connected. I was met with stunned silence.

"Stephanie? Is that you Stephanie? Are you alright? Is this a code? Is someone holding you against your will? FRANK! FRANK! Come here! Somebody had kidnapped Stephanie!" My mother was shrieking, my dad was hollering, and I could hear Grandma Mazur in the background screaming something that sounded suspiciously like, 'Call that Ranger fellow! He'll save her!'

"MOM! MOM!" I tried to cut through the chaos on the other end of the line. "Mom! It's me, Steph. I'm fine. Really. There's no psycho after me. I just wanted to come over. Really." Geesh.

After a moment, my words must have sunk in. My mother hushed the others and told me to come on over. I guess my life IS out of control when this is the response I get to inviting myself to my parents' house. Another thought to lock up in the Denial Land First National Bank vault.

When I arrived at my parents' house, only my mother was waiting on the porch. "Where's Grandma?" I asked as I approached.

"I sent her to get her nails done with Mabel. I thought we could spend some time together," mom said. "She'll be home in an hour."

We walked inside and I was met by the Spirit of Christmas. While I was happy with my preparations at the apartment, home really is where the heart is at Christmas time. The tree looked just like it always did. The same carols were playing on the CD player that I've listened to since I was a little girl. What struck me the most, though, was the smell. This was what Christmas smelled like. Something like cinnamon and sugar and chocolate and spice. And family and tradition and comfort. It nearly brought me to my knees.

My mother watched me as I just stood in the doorway. She reached out and touched my shoulder. We're not big on physical displays of affection in my family. "Do you want to talk about it, baby?" she asked.

Somehow it was all too much. I found myself sitting on the couch with my mom, a plate of sugar cookies on the coffee table, and a cup of tea in my hand. I told her everything I had been trying to hide away. About Ranger. About me. About Deborah Fairbanks. About my broken, mangled heart. She didn't say a word. She just listened. She patted my hand. She nodded her head. She was perfect.

When I was done, I felt better. Not good, but better. Somehow telling my mother my deepest darkest fears and secrets seemed to make their hold on me lessen. It was kind of like when I was a little girl and she would chase away the monsters in my closet.

"Well," she began finally, "It seems to me like Mr. Ranger has made the biggest mistake in his life." There's nothing like the unconditional love of a mother. This was something that felt new to me, but I liked it. "Why he would want another woman when he could have you is beyond me. Obviously this Deborah Fairbanks can offer him something that you can't." OUCH. What was I thinking about unconditional love???

"Wait, Stephanie, don't take this the wrong way." She could see the anger rising in my face. "I know that you've told me that you and Ranger have something special. Well, he doesn't seem to be holding up his end of the bargain right now. Maybe what is going on is something that you're not equipped to help him with. Maybe he doesn't want to risk losing you by showing him this side of him."

I still said nothing. There were too many thoughts racing through my mind. My mother took this as a sign to continue.

"If you truly love him, you need to give him the space to work this out. You've offered your help. He knows you are there for him. That's all you can do. Now you just need to wait. You need to have faith."

Wow. Why does everyone keep telling me that? I need to have faith? Faith in what? Suddenly in hit me. Faith in knowing that Ranger and I do belong together, and somehow, someday we will be. But that goes contrary to everything I've been telling myself since the night of the party. Maybe it's time to listen to my heart instead of my head.

Without giving it a second thought, I reached out and hugged my mom. "Thanks, mom. I knew you would know what to do."

We sat there for a moment, and then the mother I was used to resurfaced. "Well, now that that's settled, let's go make some cookies."

We spend the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen baking. Val brought Grandma home, filling the house with the sounds and warmth of family. By the time I left after dinner I was no closer to an answer to my Ranger dilemma, but I felt at peace.