Kisame knew more about Itachi than probably anyone else alive, save for the Uchiha himself. He knew all about his family, especially Sasuke, his life back in Konohagakure, stuck between the village and clan. He knew the reasons behind the infamous massacre, and why his partner had fled rather than ask the Hokage for assistance. Maybe most importantly, at least with how things stood now, Kisame knew why Itachi had joined the Akatsuki.

And he had learned all these things from a very unexpected source: Itachi himself.

Kisame had a feeling that other members knew bits and pieces. Konan quite obviously knew that Itachi was more attached to Sasuke than he let on, but just as obviously, she didn't know the depth of that devotion. Tobi would drop hints that he knew more about the Uchiha clan than anyone else did. Once in a long while, Pein would remark upon something concerning Konoha, just to see Itachi's reaction.

Of course, that didn't matter much anymore. Konoha was all but destroyed. Its shinobi force was decimated. It had lost all three Sannin, over half of its jounin, and all of the Uchiha and most of the Hyuuga in one giant blow. What most of the other members didn't realize was that once he became a missing-nin, Itachi really didn't care about the village anymore. He was solely devoted to three things in life.

The first and foremost was his brother. It was almost obvious, but yet, somehow, no one else ever seemed to catch on to that.

The second was Kisame. In a way, at least. (The Kiri-nin liked to pretend that that's how it worked in Itachi's mind, but he knew it was all just pretending anyway.) Itachi was dead set on staying alive, by any means possible. That meant that he had to care about Kisame, because Kisame was the one watching his back. Truthfully, Itachi really just did care about extending his lifespan, just long enough to see his brother for that last, epic battle. Sasuke would win, of course, but Itachi had to stay alive long enough for that. He'd never forgive himself if he died on a mission or something.

The third was whatever mission he was on at the time. Itachi loved missions, loved them with a manic kind of desperation. Because if he was on a mission, it meant he didn't have to think. Of course, all shinobi operate that way on some level, but, like with all he did, Itachi did that flawlessly. If he was fighting for his life, then he didn't have to think about staying alive. He didn't have to think about waiting for his brother. Itachi completely dedicated himself to whatever mission he was on at the time.

Which was why he was furious when Tobi took the Kyuubi from him.

The Kyuubi had been his one, big mission. And because of Konoha, he didn't get to properly complete it. Kisame would try to console him, but Itachi would just wave him off, and go back to his pacing. (Something else most people didn't know about Uchiha Itachi: he liked to pace.)

"Kisame, I am going to try an experiment."

"Meaning you've already started it and you're just now letting me in on the details." Kisame clarified. His partner paused for a brief moment, mid-step, and then nodded. "So…does it concern me this time?"

"No…not directly, at least."

"If not me, then Tobi?"

"No." Itachi replied coldly, stopping his pacing altogether. Tobi would always make him angry, which was partly why Kisame secretly relished bringing him up in casual conversation. In addition to his knowledge, Kisame was one of the few people alive who could evoke so many different reactions with Itachi.

"Who, then? Surely not Sasuke. Konan would murder you."

"Not directly." he said slowly, sitting down on the bed. "Mostly it's the Hyuuga girl."

"Oh. …Deidara's not going to be happy with that." he pointed out.

"Deidara's not happy with much of anything these days. Moreover, he won't even know. It's not a particularly harmful experiment."

"Then what is it?" Kisame asked impatiently.

"Just something for my own benefit."

"Does it involve why you gave her Kisho."

"Of course."

"Then I have a few guesses."

"Chances are one of them is correct."

"Going to let me in on which one?"

"No, probably not. But if she ever finds out about Kisho, don't be alarmed."

"You want her to find out you gave her a talking cat for her birthday? You're crazy."

"Tobi will stop her from coming to me about it."

"How do you know that? You haven't let him in on this, have you?" Kisame groaned at the very thought. Like Itachi, he couldn't stand that hyperactive, masked freak.

"No, of course not. But he won't want her to find out because it will concern me." While the swordsman was wondering where the logic was in that statement, Itachi smoothly continued. "Regardless, without me to ask, there is only one other person whom she has a connection with that she could ask."

"…Sasuke? You want her to go to Sasuke?"

"I'm not saying that." he said innocently (if Itachi could pull off such a feat as acting innocent). "Besides, the chances that she'll actually contact him are highly unlikely."

"Then…" While Kisame was usually left in the dark about some things, he was not stupid. He could put two and two together. It just took awhile to come up with the same four that Itachi did. "Oh hell no."

Itachi stared levelly at him over tented fingers, not saying anything.

Kisame scooted his chair back, making a screeching noise that grated on both of their ears. "Don't tell me you're worried too about this?"

"I didn't say that, either." he deadpanned.

"Yeah, you did. You are going to leave breadcrumbs for Hyuuga Hinata, of all people, in case this whole Bijuu business goes down the drain. You just can't stand to leave Sasuke alone for five minutes, can you?"

The last sentence really crossed the line. Kisame found that out as he was soon staring down the Mangekyou, and he knew he was just a hair's breadth away from being caught in the Tsukuyomi. But he wouldn't back down; he meant it. Itachi needed to grow up. Mass murderer or not, he was still just a kid, and acted like it more than most people would think.

"In all honesty, I'm on the fence, Kisame." Itachi said quietly. "On one hand, I don't want to leave Sasuke in the dark. On the other, I know it will be easier for him. I'm just leaving my options open."

"I can't believe you." Kisame muttered. "Whatever happened to the good ol' days when being a missing-nin meant you had no connections and no loyalties?"

"If you wanted to live like that, why did you join the Akatsuki? You're not made to be a loner, Kisame. If it's not the Akatsuki, then it was the Seven Swordsmen. If not that, then Kirigakure itself." Itachi replied, slightly amused at his partner's antics. At least the Sharingan faded back to black, and the Uchiha just rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "You have to stop me from using that as a threat so often…"

"Maybe if you'd stop having to threaten me so often, you'd save yourself some eyesight for a bit longer." he pointed out helpfully. Itachi looked at him flatly, so Kisame decided to drop the subject. The eyes were usually a subject to avoid, like his brother. Again, which was why Kisame liked to bring it up.

"Maybe if you'd stop saying such asinine things I wouldn't have to lose my patience with you."

"Is this experiment perchance about you trying to become more patient?" Kisame tried hopefully.

"No."

"Oh well. In a perfect world, maybe."

"In a perfect world, none of this ever would have happened, and you know it."

"Which makes things more fun. Who needs perfection when we have this group of psychos?"