Valentine's Day, Chapter 13

Meanwhile, in Trenton:

Ranger's POV

It was good to be home. Home. Funny, it never felt like home to me before Steph. Just knowing she was here had made the difference, ever since that night during the whole Slayers' mess. Now, though, I have to put that behind me.

I have Deb to deal with now. Frankly, she's driving me fucking crazy. I don't know what in the hell I ever saw in her before. Whatever it was, it's not there now. I can't wait until this whole messed up 'mission' is completed. Mission. More like baby sitting. I don't know why the government can't just put her whiny ass in a safe house and let me look for a solution to the problem. How in hell am I supposed to neutralize a threat while I've got her hanging around my neck like a fucking albatross?

She's not helping make this any easier. In fact, the whole situation is so FUBAR that I can barely see straight. She thought it would be more realistic if we acted like a couple. I told her nobody I knew would buy it, but she just wouldn't let it drop. Finally, I gave in, just to shut her up. It doesn't really matter, though. I know I've lost whatever chance I had with Stephanie. I have nothing to offer her. My life isn't even my own. How can I share what isn't really mine?

When I first got the damned call from Johnson, I knew it. Suddenly it all just sank in. My life has revolved around work, and my work has often been legally shady. One thing you need in my line of work is contacts. People to ask favors of. People to owe favors to. The thing is, the people I've been dealing with are often not only legally shady, but morally shady as well. With one phone call it all became clear: I am not my own man. I owe people. Bad people. People who wouldn't hesitate to kill me if I tried to say no when a favor is called in. People who wouldn't hesitate to hurt my family. Julie. Stephanie.

So here it is. The end of a dream. When I finish this, I can send Deb back to Washington. I can go on with my job. I can go on with my life. But I can never have Stephanie again. How can I? What could I promise her? More lies. More danger. More hurt. More time until the next time the phone rings. I can't do it. I can't ask her to live her life that way. I can't put her in harm's way. I won't do it.

It's time I bite the bullet and go face my men. I know my reception won't be a warm one. They're all pissed at me. They know I hurt Stephanie. They can barely stand to be in the same room with me. Even Ella was cold when Deb and I got back. I don't blame them. They're right.

I did hurt Steph. More than I care to admit. It was a shitty thing for me to do. I'm a coward. There's no way for me to explain this to her. No way that wouldn't kill how she thinks of me. Better for her to think me a bastard than a monster. This isn't easy, but it's the way it has to be.

I know my men are looking out for Steph. I know they've all become friends. Close friends. They think of her as their little sister, or something. But, these men are still my employees. If they can't work with me, they're all free to look for a job somewhere else. I hope they don't. I'm going to need their help in order to get rid of Deb. That can't happen soon enough for me.

I make my way to my office without having to make eye contact with anyone. Seems everyone is very busy, too busy to acknowledge my presence. Just as well. I hit the intercom and buzz Tank. No answer. I call the control room. "Santos," Lester answers.

"Where's Tank?" I ask.

"Out."

I'm starting to lose my patience. "Out where?"

"Out with Bomber. Some of us are still her friends." Lester answers with acid in his voice.

"Enough," I bark into the intercom. Damn. What are Tank and Stephanie up to?

Tank, William and I had been strategizing all afternoon. We had brainstormed, rejecting idea after idea as too outlandish, too impractical, or once even too comical. In the end, though, I felt like we were beginning to make some progress. At least we had an idea of a direction to go in.

William promised to let us know what his contacts panned out in the next day or two. Tank had a list of people to contact as well. I got to concentrate my efforts on Deborah Fairbanks. If there was something hinky going on with her, I hoped I would be the one to find it. I would love the chance to bring her ass down.

Tank shook hands with William and gave Grace a hug good-bye. I told them both thank you, and then impulsively gave William a hug. It seemed to catch him off guard, but he hugged me back, then looked deep into my eyes and said, "Don't give up on him."

I could only nod, hug Grace, and barely whisper a 'Good-bye.'

Tank and I were silent on the way back to Trenton. As we neared Haywood, though, I had to ask, "Do you think he can help us? Are we doing the right thing?"

Tank smiled before answering, "If he can't help us, he knows who can. I mean it. He has ways of finding things out. Ways you don't want to know about. He'll help us get the answers we're looking for."

He didn't answer my second question, and I was tempted to let it go, but I felt like my whole future depended on the answer. "And?" I prompted.

Tank looked at me out of the corner of his eye, sighed, and started, "Steph. Do you honestly think there's something wrong with Ranger. Something other than the fact that he seems to be in a new relationship?"

I felt my hackles rising. "You know I do. Don't tell me you think this is just the green monster showing its ugly face?"

He reached out one of his enormous hands to pat my knee before continuing, "No, that's not what I think at all. I just meant that if you think something is wrong, how can you NOT want to try and fix it. I'm on your side here, Bomber. We're doing the right thing."

I felt better with his words of encouragement. Somehow we were going to make Batman better.