Six
Garrus sat silent on the shuttle down to the surface. Shepard was not looking at him, or anyone; her eyes had been closed since she'd taken her seat. Miranda was looking out the window. This was not right. In so many ways, Shepard knew she'd done something wrong. She was wavering again, finding herself falling back into a place she didn't want to be.
Miranda turned to Garrus for moment, whispered under her breath.
"Don't take it personally, Garrus. She doesn't know any of them. She knows you the best as who she is."
Garrus wasn't sure it was much of a comfort, but in a way she was right. It wasn't Shepard's fault she didn't remember. It just came with the territory. He still couldn't shake being the only one knowing so much of their history, the missions they went on; the moments they grew from being allies to being friends. He wished there were some things he could forget; seeing her kiss Kaidan. But they all made him and his relationship with her what it was. He supposed it wasn't right for him to be angry.
They were already here. And they had to be stopped before they made off with the colonists. Mordin was goddamn genius, without him they wouldn't have been able to even touch down here. Part of Shepard still hadn't wanted to after he saw the people; frozen on the ground or in mid-stride, horror-stricken faces in panic for their lives.
"Can we help them, Commander?!" It was hard to hear anything above the massive buzzing of the swelling seeker swarms; Shepard shook her head, and waved them forward. The Collectors were tough sons of bitches, but what Miranda lacked in social graces and respecting authority she made up for with agility and accuracy. When they'd freed themselves for a moment, Shepard tried to patch in to the Normandy.
"Joker, can you hear me?"
Shep….feed….hear….you….
"Guess not."
She caught sight of a small frozen foot sticking out around the corner of a building. Garrus could feel it like thunder hitting the air, that little breaking of her heart at how little she could do. When she finally turned away, her face was stone.
"We need to get these anti-air guns online. We can't fend off a ship-full of Collectors. We need to get them out of here," she said. Garrus nodded, picking up a discarded heat sink.
"Let's keep moving, hopefully I can get Joker on the-"
The small foot was sliding slowly out of view. What took its place rumbling around the corner seemed to be a husk with a gigantic blue hump on its back.
"Get back! Get behind cover!" Shepard shouted, rolling forward into a cluster of crates. The Scion let loose a shockwave in her direction. Shepard bounced back from cover, and three husks began to descend on her. Garrus moved forward on instinct, picking them off quickly while Miranda drew the Scion's attention. Shepard was on the ground, holding her headpiece.
"EDI, can you get these guns online?"
Affirmative, Commander. It will just take time to bring the guns to full power.
"Then we'll buy it. Get on it, EDI," she pulled herself up before Garrus could grab her, moving her right shoulder uncomfortably.
"I'm fine," she answered before he could ask. He'd come to know that when she said that, it almost always meant the opposite.
"Two more bloated husks coming in from the east! And a really, really big bug!" Miranda called out to them. Garrus looked down at Shepard. She tweaked her shoulder again.
"You're keeping count, Vakarian," she said, pulling the trigger on a lumbering husk 100 feet away.
"Three points, Commander; you've got to try harder than that." He'd give her this one for now. But she had to know she was getting hell when this was over. She'd left out a very important detail in her story last night, one that would've changed the outcome of that night in its entirety.
Guns at 100%. I am in control.
"Give 'em hell, EDI!" Shepard shouted, rolling from cover to cover under the watchful eye of a Praetorian. The ground shook with the first blast of the guns against the Collector ship. Shepard slammed into an L-shaped crate shoulder-first, and winced in pain. Lying beside her was a large gun she'd seen a few of the Collector guards using; it was a powerful heavy weapon.
"This isn't working, Commander! We can't touch this thing!" Miranda shouted from across the field. Garrus was beside her, trying his best to find the giant bug's weak spot. Shepard looked to the gun again. She'd be visible when she grabbed it, and this big thing was dead-set on her; but it was also the only gun in this place capable of taking it down. It was a no-brainer; she dove for the gun. It was heavier than it looked, and lifting it sent angry flares of pain across her shoulder. She pulled it up and pulled the trigger, sending the powerful bean into the eyes of the Praetorian. The shrill noise it emitted was ear-piercing, but it quickly disintegrated under the powerful ray.
"Damn, Shepard. I'd hate to know where you hid that gun until now," Garrus said, lifting her up on her feet by her good arm. She dropped the gun to the ground and pulled herself up more easily. The Collector ship began to shift.
"No! The colonists!" Shepard ran, but they were too far away and the ship was too quick. It pulled up and out of the atmosphere before they could get close. Shepard leaned against a crate, catching her breath.
"Damnit!" A man in a jumpsuit appeared from the opposite direction. Shepard grasped her gun, turning to face the man with it pointed at him. He was unfazed by her.
"Half of the colony was on that ship," he continued angrily, kicking a toolbox "Don't let them get away! Do something!"
"I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't want it to end this way," Shepard said, holstering her gun and closing her eyes.
"It was a good fight, Shepard. We tried," Miranda replied reassuringly.
"Shepard?" the man took a good look at her, came a little close for Garrus' comfort
"I know you; you're that Alliance hero-"
Another man stepped out of the shadows.
"Commander Shepard."
That voice.
Shepard's heart began to race to a sickening beat.
No.
The Collectors, did they plant him here?
He was real?
The nightmares, they weren't just dreams.
He was real.
He had a face.
And his eyes were brown. As she had once remembered.
"Captain of the Normandy, first human Spectre, savior of the Citadel. You're in the presence of a legend, and a ghost," he said, his eyes locked on her. She could not look away; the horror on her face was evident.
"Garrus," Miranda spoke quietly "He's the one we never got the chance to tell her about."
This wasn't going to go well.
"Commander Shepard, what is my name?"
"Miranda Lawson"
"Very good, Shepard. Can you tell me yours? And maybe where you're from?"
"Kaitlyn Michaela Shepard, Commander of the SSV Normandy, Alliance military. Earthborn."
Miranda put her clipboard down on the shiny white table. Everything was shiny and pale in this room, her subject included. Miranda smiled. She grabbed the photos and held them up one by one for Shepard to identify.
"And your crew?"
"Urdnot Wrex, Krogan with a pension for shotguns.
Tali Zorah Na Rayya, Quarian on her Pilgrimage; found her attempting to contact Shadow Broker with vital information on Saren.
Dr. Liara T'Soni studied Protheans. Mother was Matriarch Benezia; indoctrinated by Saren.
Ashley Williams, found her on Freedom's Progress; anti-alien, called me Skipper; died on Virmire.
Garrus Vakarian, turian; former C-Sec, a complete tight-ass."
"Very good, Shepard," Miranda took a moment to collectively prepare herself "Now, I don't want you to be alarmed. You're doing very well, and you only have one more crew-member. Do you remember anyone else?" Miranda held tightly the final picture to her chest.
"No," replied Shepard flatly. Miranda handed Shepard the picture and grabbed her clipboard.
"Kaidan Alenko is the Staff Lieutenant of the SSV-"
"Of all the good people to get taken and they leave you behind, Alenko. I'm through with you Alliance jackasses…" The man stalked off back in the direction he'd come, leaving Kaidan standing with Shepard. There was a moment of silence, and Kaidan moved closer to her. Garrus found himself wanting to react, but Miranda held the wrist in which he had his gun down. Kaidan wrapped his arms around her in an embrace Shepard was not sure how to react to.
"I thought you were dead, Shepard; we all did."
The silence was not good. The relief on Kaidan's face was not steady. He was not happy to see her.
"I was," she answered uncertainly. Kaidan stepped back. Garrus had called it. He was mad. Very mad.
"That's all you have to say? You were gone for two years and I didn't hear a word! I watched you die, Shepard! How are you even here?"
You don't deserve to be saved! You made your sacrifice. You made your choice.
Shepard was frozen. Her head was screaming to go, to run, but her body refused to move.
"I'm sorry," was all she could think to say. His face was beginning to twist; her eyes were getting thick and glassing over. Miranda was no longer holding Garrus back; they seemed to be holding each other back; a train-wreck unable to be looked away from.
"I thought we had something special, Kaitlyn, something real. I loved you! Thinking you were dead, it tore me apart; why didn't you contact me?"
"I'm sorry," she repeated, looking down at the ground and grabbing the end of her ponytail. She was falling from the fragile perch of grace she'd been leaning on. Garrus wished he could do something.
"Are you going to give me any answers? If you are, make it one. Why would you join Cerberus? They're the enemy, Kaitlyn! Are you that naïve? Did they brainwash you? Indoctrinate you? You can't be following them of your own free will," his anger was shaping him, making him the sick man who haunted her.
"I never expected any of this from you, Shepard. You turned your back on everything we believed in; on us."
What's the matter, little Shepard? Can't find that voice of yours, can you?
TAKE A SEAT.
She fell to her knees, unable to defend herself against the barrage Kaidan was throwing at her. Garrus had to step in.
"I… I just-I'm sorry. I don't know who you are. Garrus, please, make it stop. Make it stop."
Garrus stepped forward, moving over Shepard and placing himself between her and Alenko. He had a good half a foot on Kaidan; for some reason Garrus didn't remember him being so short.
"As usual, Alenko, you've jumped to conclusions based on little to no merit whatsoever. Cerberus and Shepard have the same goals. They're trying to save the colonies the Alliance has abandoned. And if you loved this woman the way you say you do, you would've listened to her story instead of shouting accusations at her like you're her goddamned drill sergeant. You're letting your emotions get the best of you; and I will not allow you to take your frustrations at your inability to move on in your life out on my Commander."
Miranda knelt down next to Shepard to try and calm her. She was not crying, she was just so deathly silent and unmoving. It almost seemed worse.
"What does she mean she doesn't know who I am, Garrus? What have you done to her? What did you do you Cerberus bitch!" Kaidan asked, trying to move past him to get to Shepard. Garrus pushed him, knocking him a few steps back.
"I don't know you. I don't… I didn't do anything wrong, Miranda. You never told me. I didn't do anything wrong. I don't know you. Kaidan Alenko is the Staff Lieutenant of the SSV…. Alenko…. Kaidan Alenko is… Kaidan Alenko…." She was shaking her head, her hands grasping fistfuls of her hair. She was close to a full-length breakdown.
"What is she saying, Garrus? What have you let them do to her?!" Kaidan was fighting him now, trying to push past or around him; anything to get to Shepard. His biotics were giving him a blue glare around his body. Garrus side-armed him into a large crate, knocking the wind out of him momentarily.
"Miranda, get Joker to send the shuttle. Shepard has had enough of this colony."
"Get off of me, Garrus! Let me talk to her!" Kaidan shouted, trying to move his arms and gain enough leverage to grab his gun. Garrus had one on him in a heartbeat.
"I do not want to shoot you, and believe me; it surprises me too; but you're endangering her welfare and I can't have that."
"Just tell me why, Garrus. You owe me that," Kaidan was defeated. Garrus did not owe Kaidan anything, but the way he had looked when he'd held Shepard in his arms. Garrus understood that relief, that disbelief and happiness and confusion.
"She doesn't remember anything after waking up on a Cerberus operating table a month ago. They never got to tell her about you. She doesn't know who you are, Kaidan."
Garrus could hear the shuttle touching down nearby. Kaidan wasn't fighting him anymore. Miranda and Shepard were out of sight, so Garrus let Kaidan go.
"Goodbye, Kaidan," he said, holstering his gun and turning his back. Kaidan pulled his pistol; but Garrus knew he wouldn't shoot. Garrus knew if Kaidan had really wanted to get to Shepard it wouldn't have taken more than a biotic flare up to knock Garrus on his ass. But Shepard had thrown him a bombshell. And so Kaidan stood, pointing his gun at Garrus' back until he was out of sight and the shuttle cleared the atmosphere.