The truth was, her loss of memory was part of her second chance at life; a second chance to be kinder, to understand gratitude and stop to smell the roses; to see people for who they really were. All she knew of her life before was harshness, the squashing of emotions in the face of weakness to become someone she no longer knew. This moment, standing before the turian she'd met nearly three years ago on the Citadel; it felt more right than anything she'd done in the life she could remember.
"I thought I blew my chance with you already, Kait," Garrus said softly, admiring her form. The smile she gave him would be the picture of her face he'd keep with him forever.
"As long as you don't break my heart, Garrus; I'll always give you another chance."
He stood, closing the space between them, and put his arms around her. His head dipped down and pressed a kiss to the top of hers. She always smelled beautiful, she always was beautiful.
"I don't know if you realize, but your Salarian doctor is quite the busybody; who seems to think we need some education on keeping our bodies busy as well," Garrus picked up a tech-board from the desk.
"He sent me vids. Lots of vids. I actually had to pretend I'd fallen asleep to get him to stop talking about it earlier. Something about… harmful ingestion and chafing; he really had a way of setting the mood."
Shepard laughed, attempting to grasp the board. Garrus held it up out of her reach, stepping back.
"This is highly embarrassing material, Kait. I wouldn't want you to be disappointed before it even happens," he held it up too high for her to reach, but her reaching made her nightgown move up with her. Garrus' eyes widened a little.
"I see you were already planning for something with that little number you've got on," he said with a laugh. She pulled her nightgown down, blushing.
"They're just… what I had to wear and I just kind of grabbed them. Let me see what he sent you! I'm curious as to what I'm getting myself into here. I have a right to be informed, Vakarian," she added, matter-of-factly. She wasn't going to let this go just yet. He frowned, passing her the board and taking a seat next to her on her bed. She began to flip through screens, nodding her head and taking in what she was reading, even laughing a little. Her face turned suddenly. She held on the screen, looking wide-eyed and blushing more deeply than before.
"Oh… wow. Umm… this is… average for turians?" She passed him the board. He looked at it for a moment, rubbing his face.
"That's about right. I mean, as far as an average is concerned. I'm uh… a bit above that standard. I hope that isn't… small for humans…" he replied awkwardly, a little nervous. He handed her back the board. She continued to stare at it. And then up at him. And then in his general region, and then up at him again.
"No, Garrus. It's definitely not small for humans," she finally said, "There's an expression we have for that kind of a thing."
He took a breath, feeling a little relieved by this.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes. It's called being hung like a horse."
"What is a horse?"
"An animal we used to use for transportation on land. We'd breed them, and so of course we saw them mate with females. They are also… a bit above standard," she answered, with a little smirk. He wasn't playing along.
"Okay, okay; so you're saying it won't be an issue?"
"I'm saying it may, but not for the reason you think. Either way, everyone knows it's not about the size. It's about how you use it," she couldn't help but laugh at the way Garrus was handling this. And at why more females didn't date turians. They were definitely missing out.
"I don't know why in the world you take such great pleasure in watching me squirm," he said, shaking his head a little. She turned her attention back to the board, flipping through a few more pages.
"The next chapter is on… positions," he said, watching over her shoulder. She turned to him, kissing him quickly to try and calm his nerves.
"The only way we'll know how this really works out is to try it," she said, kissing him again. He searched her eyes for any sign of doubt, any frailty that would need him to be stronger than the pull she had on him. For once, she looked like she was just herself. He really hoped she wasn't just trying to be nice about the size thing.
"Okay. Let's try it. Just uh… don't ingest anything of mine. I think that's what Mordin said. Damn, I should've been listening."
"Duly noted, Vakarian, duly noted. Now, come here. I think you have some claims about being better than someone to back up."
"How did you-"
"EDI patched me in to the room," she put the board down and took his face in her hands, bringing it in to hers, "Now why don't you show this cowgirl what your big rodeo is all about?"
"Spirits," he uttered against her lips, "I have no idea what any of that meant, but it definitely sounded sexy."
She was a security he'd never felt before. And though he'd spent his time protecting her from the world around them, she was saving him as well; from himself and all the demons he lived with. Seeing her face looking up at him, giving him all of her trust and love in this moment; he felt as though they were one. No other woman (and it wasn't like he'd been with a terribly large amount to begin with) had ever made this act feel so real, and surreal, at the same time. The little noises she made, every movement and moment when the world felt like it had been carved out to fit only them. He was careful with her, she was breakable in his eyes but not for the same reason as everyone else saw her to be. She was giving him her very heart, and the last thing he could ever dream of doing would be to cause her any kind of harm.
More than exhausted; completely drained of all energy in his body was a closer figure to how he felt. She was snuggled up against his side and he didn't want her anywhere else. He didn't want this time to end, to be able to separate from everything they had left to do and stay here in her bed together forever.
"I don't think I'm even capable of movement right now," he said; it hurt to breathe.
"I wore you out, huh? Guess that means I win," she sat up on her elbow to smile at him. Out of sheer determination to show her she hadn't, he tried to push himself up and failed. She laughed, and was about to comment when Joker interrupted them.
Sorry if I'm waking you, Commander; but I just wanted to let you know the Illusive Man is on comm. He wanted to talk to you, but Miranda intercepted it.
"Nobody kills a moment better than this crew," Shepard muttered, rising up and grabbing her clothes.
"What could Miranda be doing?" Garrus asked, keeping his place.
Tattling on you two, probably.
"Buzz OFF Joker!" Shepard shouted as she plucked through her clothing drawers quickly and changed into a pair of slacks and a tank top.
Affirmative, Commander. I knew I should've believed the rumors…
"I'll be back, Garrus. Get some rest." She grabbed her pistol and was out the door
Is she gone? I want detail, Garrus!
"In your dreams, Moreau," Garrus replied, managing to turn himself to his side and get comfortable.
"I've read your reports, Miranda. The Commander is now stable, correct?"
The Illusive Man sat on his regal throne, a massive star the background of his lair. He was attempting to light a cigarette but his lighter was out of fluid.
"You've got another one in the drawer, sir," Miranda said, motioning to his desk. He nodded, getting up slowly to retrieve it.
"But yes, to answer your question. She's stable. She is getting much better. Bringing on Garrus has been a positive attribute to her recovery. A very, very positive attribute," she added quietly, looking sternly at The Illusive Man. He found his lighter, and promptly lit his cigarette; taking a long drag before replying.
"What exactly does that mean?"
"They seem to be getting very close, sir. It's bringing her back," she said, a little defensively.
"I don't want her to have any distractions, Miranda. You're the one who talked me into putting him on the team," he said, taking his seat. He leaned forward on his elbows; the cigarette perched between his index and middle fingers.
"He's not a liability," she said, trying to defend her point "The Commander is unstable and-"
"-is standing right behind you, Lawson."
Miranda spun around to see Shepard, casually dressed, standing right behind her.
"Commander, I was just-" Miranda began, but Shepard shook her head.
"Doing exactly what I thought you were? Get the hell out of here, Lawson," Shepard said, a disgusted look plastered on her face. Miranda knew there was no explaining herself now, so she left the conversation.
"What?" said an irritated Shepard, crossing her arms and turning her frustration to The Illusive Man.
"Well, I'm glad to hear you're speaking again. And leading missions. I apologize for my non-disclosure of Alenko's involvement; but I wanted to see if the Collectors were targeting you or people connected to you," The Illusive Man sat back, taking another drag of his cigarette.
"So, what you're saying is; you're responsible for the lives of those colonists? And my crew? And you put all of these people at risk, for an experiment? They could be dead, I thought you cared about that. Or did you lie about that too?"
"No, Shepard. I care about the welfare of all-"
"-I'm tired of you people and your lies," Shepard had had enough. She ended the call and left the comm room in a huff, passing Miranda in the hall outside.
"Commander, please let me explain!" she called, following Shepard to the elevator.
"Not tonight, Lawson. I'm feeling a little unstable," Shepard replied, shutting the elevator doors in Miranda's face.