Chapter 17: Daxter Misses Pants, I Miss Showers
Music: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want, by The Smiths
'Haven't had a dream in a long time
See, the life I've had
Can make a good man bad
So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time'
Mood: Irritated
Disclaimer: Writers lie, just like your parents
We walked into the saloon just as a KG was leaving. Its hand hovered over its gun when we walked in, and I snarled at it. The guard just walked past us.
"The Baron sent his goons to harass me as usual, 'ey!" Krew explained irritably, fanning himself. "Health violations. Bank taxes! Everyone wants a piece of me. Aaahh well!"
"Lucky for you, there's plenty to go around!" Daxter said, flinging his hands out.
"Destroying that cargo in the port was more important than you know, ey?" Krew flew away before continuing. "I've got a new project going, and I don't need anyone snooping around my shipments. Let's just say, if everything goes as planned, I'm going to corner the market in Metal Head trophies." He flew back towards us, laughing, his fat jiggling. I felt my nose wrinkle. "Anyway, I have another job for you two." Daxter huffed. "An associate of mine, Brutter, works with me in the forced labor trade."
"You mean the slave trade?" I asked with a raised brow.
"I prefer 'freedom challenged'. Lurkers are the city's low class labor." He whisper/wheezed behind his hand. "Brutter pays me handsomely to help him free lurkers and get them safely out of the city. Ahhh, it lifts my spirit to help those in need..." Krew trailed off before flying at us and shoving his face in between Jak and mine. "and I need his money!"
"Lurkers? We don't like lurkers!" Daxter said, pouting and crossing his arms over his chest like a small child.
But you do like Weapon Upgrades, 'ey?" Krew tossed a black bow hook up to me, a fire range upgrade, I think, and some sort of blue device to Jak before continuing. "There are three Krimzon Guard Transports carrying Lurkers to a 'project' the Baron has outside the city. Take out the transports, and bring the three lurkers to Brutter's trinket stand in the Bazaar." The fat man flew away without another word.
We went out back and hopped in a sturdy two-seater. There was no way that a Lurker was going to be able to fit in the passenger seat, so it had to make do with the back.
The first Transport was in Sector Five, driving around the fountain. Jak and I switched seats because my bow wasn't going to do well in blowing open the metal bars. I moved the Zoomer so it was directly behind the Transport car.
"Stand back!" Jak yelled to the Lurker as he started shooting at the bars. They broke open and the whole Zoomer exploded, sending the Lurker flying. I maneuvered through KGs and Hellkats to get to him. He immediately jumped onto the back of the car, and I felt the Zoomer's tail end droop towards the ground a bit. I prayed to Mar that it would hold him.
I pushed the Zoomer to its limit, feeling weird driving and having Jak take out the KGs. I made it to Brutter's trinket stand though, losing the KGs on our tail.
The Lurker jumped off the back of the Zoomer, and I was off again, looking for the next KG Transport.
It was out in the garden, almost by the Mountain Temple entrance. Jak started shooting at it, and like last time, the Lurker jumped onto the back of the Zoomer, pushing it down.
I made it back to Brutter's, but there were still KGs after us, no matter how much Jak was shooting them, so we had to keep going, not even stopping to let the Lurker off. He just had to bail over the edge. I don't think it really hurt him though.
We had just gotten out of the Bazaar in search for the next Lurker when a KG got a hit in finally, making the car explode. I dove out the driver's side and Jak dove out the other. Just as fast, we were in another Zoomer, flying away from the blackened remains.
I turned a sharp corner, dropping zones down a set of stairs and gliding along the ground until we saw the next one. Jak used to Vulcan on it, and soon enough the Transporter had exploded and the last Lurker was on the Zoomer.
"Little orangey warrior!" Brutter exclaimed when we sidled up to the bar. "You have do great thing for Brutter and Lurker people!" He grabbed Daxter in his huge hand and started kissing him repeatedly.
Daxter spat and said, "No toucha the 'do'." While running his hand over his goggles and ears.
Brutter apologized, patting Daxter on the head clumsily. "You great guys! Brutter not forget! Brutter pay you back. You see!" The Lurker said, nodding frantically, staring at all three of us with wide eyes.
"Okay, uhh," Jak said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "We gotta go. Stuff to do. People to blow up…" He grabbed my hand pulling me away.
I ran my hand through my hair, looking at Jak, who was nodding with a knowing half smile. He jumped into the driver's seat, saying, "By the way, you're never driving again."
I nodded without complaint.
xMx
Krew was waiting for us back at the saloon, with, of course, another mission. "Years ago," He started, flying towards us. "When I was an art 'collector', I hit the local museum to, mmmm, 'borrow' a famous statue of Mar and Sylence, the founders of Haven City. In Mar's hands, the statue held the Ruby Key to the city, an artifact of surpassing beauty... and of course, priceless worth, 'ey!"
"Oh! I just love art!" Daxter said, jumping up on Jak's head and getting in Krew's face, who swatted him away like an irritating fly, which he kind of was, in a way.
Krew continued, ignoring Daxter's interruption. "While smuggling the huge statue through the Sewers, 'ey, a grueling rainstorm flooded the whole place. The statue and five of my best men were swept away!"
"That's terrible" I said sympathetically, almost disbelievingly, because he was Krew; he didn't care about his people. My respect for him just went up a few miniscule marks.
"Yes, a tragic loss." He said, shaking his head. "I've missed that statue ever since!" And there go those respect points. Back to negative sixty two. "The Sewers have been so full of water and Metal Heads that I can't get anyone to go down there and retrieve the artifact. But you two. You're special; you can do it!" He flew back, tickling his finger under my chin. I cringed backward into Jak's chest.
"Hey, what am I?" Daxter said protestingly, "Chopped liver?"
"Ohhh, don't I wish, mmmmmmmm!" Krew said, licking his fingers loudly. I gagged a little. Now, go down there, drain the Sewers, and find that statue at the bottom. Bring back the Ruby Key artifact, and it will open up doors beyond our wildest dreams, 'ey!"
"Great, more mucking in the mud..." I sighed heavily.
I felt Daxter jump on my shoulder and lean on my head, snapping my red goggles against my hair. "I hate to burst your bathtub bubbles, baby, but that ain't just mud down there." He said. I sighed heavily again.
We left and made our way to the sewers, JET boarding over KGs and civilian and grinding off the bottoms of cars. Didn't I just feel like an obnoxious teenager.
The Sewer entrance was just inside Sector 4 with an elevator to get down. There were no Metal Heads this time, and that made me a little suspicious, but I guess our extermination earlier worked pretty well.
We had to JET board up a long meshed platform through a tunnel I hadn't noticed before to get to the drain pipe.
The first valve was just at the end of the tunnel, and I twisted it, watching as the water drained.
"How many of these things are there?" Jak asked. I just shrugged, getting back on my JET board and taking off down the newly revealed tunnel.
The tunnel opened up into a big room with several red, flashing water mines sitting on the surface. Jak and I flipped and spun over those, being careful not to touch them, making our way around the big pole in the middle of the room to the open door on the right.
If I looked hard enough there was an entrance under the water almost directly to the left, and I assumed that that's where we had to go next.
There were all sorts of water bombs and spinning machines sticking out of the walls for us to avoid, and after only two close calls with some mines, we were in the room with the second valve. Jak spun it. I noticed that Daxter was avoiding it, and I thought back to the last time we were near some valves, and smirked.
We made our way back down the hall once the water level dropped again, this time dodging all sorts of water rudders that were spinning and randomly popping up. I almost hit one because I didn't think it would come up that fast. Daxter had to grab the back of my hover board from his spot on the front of Jak's so I didn't run into it.
I was right when I thought that the next room was where we had to go. There were all sorts of spinning gears on the water that we had to flip over, and a bunch more water mines. The tunnel opened up into a room filled with water and at least six more water mines.
I watched the water drop when Jak hit the valve, finally reaching the floor, the mines going off when the touched the ground.
There wasn't anything on the floor back the way we came, except for a few mines that had survived. We dodged around those and made our way back to the main room, which was void of water now, and went through the only door left. The only thing to dodge there was a few divots that were still filled with water.
The statue of the two stood strong, not showing any signs of water damage. Jak and I stood in silence, looking at the statue. Both of the people looked vaguely familiar, but I brushed it off. I must have seen a picture of them before.
Daxter interrupted the quiet by jumping onto Mar's arm and tugging on the key on the stone on his scepter. He pulled on it a few time until there was a metallic snapping noise and the ruby key went flying.
Jak lunged away from me, almost diving to the floor and grabbing the artifact just before it hit the ground, straightening up and admiring the thing. I had to admit, it did look pretty. But of course, Krew was going to sell it. I couldn't help but wonder who was going to buy it, and what they were going to do with it. I wondered if Praxis was going to get his hands on it, and why he hadn't had it before. He was the ruler of Haven.
"Whoo... Got it!" I heard Jak say when I shut my brain up long enough to listen to what he was saying. "Where would you be without me, eh Dax?" He held up the key, winking.
"Well Jak," Daxter started, counting out his problems on his fingers. "I probably wouldn't be two feet tall, fuzzy, and running around in a sewer without a pair of pants..." He paused, looking down at his bare legs. "God I miss pants." He concluded sadly, his arms hanging at his side as he blinked.
"I'd give you mine Dax," I said smirking. "But I don't think you could hold up this much chains and metal.
I fingered the chains hanging from my ripped skin tight jeans.
"If you weren't wearing them, I wouldn't think anybody could hold up that much chain." Daxter said, jumping on the ground and pulling on a chain. "That can't be light." He stressed.
"What I do for fashion," I said sarcastically, shaking my head.
"Oh yeah," Jak said with a wicked grin. "Because we're just top of the fashion in Haven."
A/N: I actually don't have anything to say… so this Is a really pointless announcement, and you're all just wasting your time reading it. Go on with your lives.
Only after reviewing.
xMonster