Daddy Yagami choose a potential boyfriend for his Lighty-kins.

"Parental Control" has some really corny lines, so I tried to celebrate that in this fic.

Enjoy xD

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Back at the Yagami household, Mr. and Mrs. Yagami are sitting on a couch in front of the T.V. Misa and Light are sitting on a a small sofa nearby. Misa is holding tightly onto Light's arm and Light is staring at the door, waiting.

Narrator: The date Light's father chose is about to arrive. That means Light will have to go out with another person while Misa stays at home and watches the date with his parents! Let's see how it goes...

Misa: Ok. I'm going to put this short and sweet. (Light clearly isn't listening) LISTEN TO ME LIGHT! (He turns toward her) You will NOT touch, kiss, play, talk, or have fun with ANYONE today!

Sachiko: I'ma touch YOU with my fist if you don't shut up.

Light: Calm down Misa, I'm not going to do anything drastic.

Misa: YES YOU ARE! The other night you slept with my best friend!!

Light: Yeah but that was last night.

Misa: Oh, right. Silly me. I love you anyway!

Doorbell rings.

Soichiro: There he is. You're going to love this guy, Light.

He goes to answer the door.

Enter Near.

In a cut screen, Soichiro speaks about his choice.

Soichiro: Well, I thought this guy would be good because he possesses some of the same qualities as Light's. He's smart, good-looking, young and mysterious.

Back at the Yagami household.

Near: I clearly wasn't interested in doing this. (He mutters under his breath) I'm going to kill Mello for telling me this was a free puzzle giveaway... (He shakes his fist to the sky) DAMN YOU MELLO!

Misa: WHA-WHAT...IS THAT? (She points at Near, covering her mouth in horror) THAT IS A CHILD! ARE YOU A SICK PEDOFEEL? LIGHT CANNOT SERIOUSLY BE GOING ON A DATE WITH THIS UGLY...SHEEP!

Near: Oh my she knows her farm animals.

Soichiro: Shut yo slutty mouth.

Misa: GOSH, I HATE THIS SHOW! (She beings to sob)

Near: Alright, let's just do this. The producers are waving their arms frantically so that we hurry up and get going. I'm kind of hungry and we get to see a free movie.

Light: Sure, lets go.

Camera on Light and Near walking toward a limo. In cut screen, Light speaks his thoughts.

Light: When I first saw Near, I wasn't sure what to think. He's really young but, hey, I guess I don't mind. I've dated girls younger than me. He seems to be nice. Actually (He puts his hand on his chin, pondering) now that I think about it, he reminds of someone I know quite well...

The Yagami's and Misa are left alone to watch the date progress.

Soichiro: Let's see how this goes. (Turns on TV)

Misa: Yeah, let's see how atroshish this goes.

Sachiko: Wow, you're a dunce with fake hair, breasts, nails, and fake intelligence!

Misa: And you have an ugly husband!

Sachiko: You ARE an ugly husband!

The daters enter a movie theater. They are alone.

Near: (Boredly) Want popcorn?

Light: Uh sure...what movie are we going to see?

Near: Transformers.

Light: Sounds fun! I like Shia LaBeouf.

Near buys some popcorn and leads Light into the movie theater. They are alone.

Light: That's pretty great that we get this whole place to ourselves...except for those cameras. (He looks around, examining where each camera is placed)

Near: Yep. (He stuffs his mouth with popcorn)

They sit in the middle of the theater next to each other. The movie begins. Near's eyes are glued to the screen.

Light: Ahem. (He looks around and turns slowly toward Near, who is not paying any attention to him) Hey, you have nice eyes.

Near: Shhh. (Eats more popcorn)

Light: (Firmly) I said you have nice eyes!!

Near: (Annoyed) Listen Light, you're not going to get me to like you. You are not cool, so don't act like you are. You can't even dump your own girlfriend without help from your parents. You are a sorry loser. (Pause) Oh, and I don't like men. So, shut up and let me watch the damn movie!

Light: (In a sultry voice) Wow. (Begins to sweat profusely) I like young feisty boys! You don't like men? I bet I can change your mind.

Back at the Yagami household...

Sochiro: My, my, Light seems to really be attracted to this Near boy.

Misa: (Sniffs) LIGHT!! WHAT IS HE...DOING? HE JUST...OH MY GOD. HE...HE...is...is...OH MY...Noooooooooo Lighttttttttttttt! HIS MOUTH!! IT IS NOW CONTAMINATED. HEYYYYYY HE DOESN'T DO THAT WITH ME!! WHY LIGHT...WHY!!

Sachiko: Awwwwwwwwww...look at them! How sweet. I knew Light was talented in many things...but even that?

Misa: (Sobs) I CAN'T WATCH!!

Movie ends. The couple walks out. Light has a satisfied smirk on his face and Near walks out quite disheveled.

Light: Well that was a lot of fun Near. I'm sure it will be oodles of merriment to go on a second date with you. Peace. (He purses his lips, makes a kissing noise and struts away)

Near: (Is in shock) He is godly.

Back at the Yagami household. Light enters. He is glowing.

Soichiro: Ah Light m'boy, you made me proud out there! (Smiles and winks)

Misa: I cannot believe you!! YOU &# 2&# NEAR IN THE (#&(# AND THEN 2(#(#!!

Light: Don't worry Misa, we didn't do anything. You didn't see anything. (He looks into her eyes)

Misa: Oh. (She becomes entranced) Whatever you say Light! I love you anyway. Hehe.

Sachiko: ...But you even saw...

Soichiro: Sachiko, there is no reasoning with her.

Sachiko: I understand.

The doorbell rings.

Sachiko: Well, there's my guy. Your Dad's pick might have been okay but this one here is the winner! You'll love him, Light.

She goes to open the door.

COMMERCIAL.

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Lulz, Light turned Near gay.

This wasn't the most exciting chapter, but I promise the next one will be better. Buahah.

Who will be Sachiko's choice o?

If anyone has a good idea for the next dating place you can say it in a review. Thanks. )