Hereeeeeeeee'ssssssss Mama Yagami's choice.
And the madness ensues.
Enjoy.
--
Sachiko opens the door.
Enter L.
In a side screen, Sachiko speaks about her choice.
Sachiko: I chose L because he is very intelligent and seems to relate to Light in his own special way. Soichiro knows him well and was hesitant about my choice, but whatever. (Shrugs her shoulders) Light is in for a fabulous surprise.
Misa: First a sheep, now a panda? Is this some sort of circus?
Soichiro: I don't think pandas are in circuses.
Sachiko: Nor are sheep.
Misa: Really? Pfft. Wait, don't we know him? Ooh! Is that…
Light and Misa: (Simultaneously, with a tone of surprise) L?
L: Good Evening Mrs. Yagami and Chief Yagami. (Drags himself over to where Light and Misa are sitting. He hovers over them) Hello Light, Misa.
Misa: Hm, so you are gay? UGH. GET AWAY FROM LIGHT! I KNEW YOU WERE A PERVERT! I SAID IT ALL ALONG! (She spits at L's feet)
Sachiko: (Bows slightly) I apologize for her behavior, L.
L puts his hand on Light's shoulder, kindly.
Misa: What the heck? Don't you touch him with your long, dirty, man-loving fingers! (She smacks his hand off)
Sachiko: (Glares at Misa) Mange du merde et meurt, pute!
Soichiro: (Inquiringly) You speak French?
Sachiko: I dated a French-man back in high school. He would always say that to me. I only realized what it meant until after he broke up with me…
L: (Dryly) Ow. I believe we should go now. Light, if you would be so kind to follow me…
Misa: (Whispers in Light's ear) Whatever you do…think of me!
Light gives Misa a strange look and then reluctantly follows L outside, without a word. In a side screen, Light speaks his thoughts.
Light: When L first came in, it took me awhile to wrap my mind around why he was there. Then I realized this was his way of telling me he liked me. (He pauses) Well, hey, I have always thought he was cute in a weird kind of way.
The daters head toward the limo. L escorts his quiet date inside and follows after him.
At the Yagami household…
Sachiko: Here it goes! (Turns on the T.V.)
Soichiro: (Sighs) I don't know if I can watch this. My boss with my son…it's just wrong on many levels.
Misa: How do you think Misa feels about this?
Sachiko: No one even remotely cares.
Misa: We are not talking about remote controls…stay on topic!
Sachiko: (Turns to Soichiro) Is it possible for someone to be this stupid?
Light and L enter are led to the top of a building. At the top, there is a table with a lit candle, and two seats at its sides. The top of the building looks out to the bustling night-life of Japan, and the two men examine the premise with honor. A waiter shows them their seat and they sit down.
Light: (Folds his arms and crosses his legs) So L, you finally caved in?
L: (Seductively) It appears so. You know I could no longer resist you.
Light: (Snorts)
L: I'm serious.
Light: (Softly) Oh?
L: Yes.
The waiter comes over and takes their orders. There is a moment of silence.
Light: (Runs a hand through his hair) Well, um, you look nice tonight?
L: (Staring into Light's eyes evilly) Thanks. As do you.
Light: (Coughs nervously) Thanks.
Back at the Yagami household
Misa: (Points to the T.V.) Look how awkward and boring this date is.
Sachiko: Oh come on, it's a nice date. You never do anything like that with Light.
Misa: You mean he never does anything like that for me...when he should be!
Sachiko: Sexist!
Misa: Can we not talk about sex now? And you call yourself a mother! We are on television for gosh sakes…
Sachiko: (Smacks herself in the head multiple times)
Soichiro: (Pats his wife on her back) It will all be over soon.
Back at the top of the building…
L: (Stands up dominantly) You know what?
Light: What?
L: Screw all of this. I can't take it anymore!
Light: Huh?
L thrusts his hand across the table setting and pushes everything to the ground. He grabs Light by the collar and throws him onto the table, and jumps on top of him. Light's face is contorted into a mix of amusement and bewilderment. The lone waiter enters, then immediately exits after seeing the two men in their current position.
L: (In a deep voice) I guess we're going to have to do this right here, right now.
Light: (Panting) D-do…what exactly?
L raises an eyebrow.
Back at the Yagami household…
Misa's eyes are bulging and her mouth is situated into a perfect "O" shape. Mr. and Mrs. Yagami are watching the T.V. intently.
Misa: (Shouting) GOODNESS ME MISA! Why is Light on the table? Don't they eat food on there? L seems to be doing something crazy! Light is screaming…he's crying too! I've never seen him cry before. He must be in pain…L is hurting him! Misa doesn't like this one bit! WHAT IS GOING ON?
Soichiro: (Is sweating) This is too much, even for me. I won't be able to face him on Monday…
Sachiko: (Clasps her hands together in joy) How lovely!! Okay Misa, do you know what that natural act is? (She points to the T.V.)
Misa: (Cries) No! But I know I don't like my Light getting hurted by an ugly panda bear who is on top of him and doing mean things to his tender boyishness!
Soichiro: Wow. You're so narrow minded when you walk your earrings knock together…
Misa: What?
Sachiko: Ha.
Light enters his house, walking a bit slower and limping slightly. Misa runs to hug him, and he cringes in pain.
Light: (Through gritted teeth) Not now Misa.
Sachiko: (Nudges her son) So you had fun, my sexy son?
Light: Well. (Pauses to add to the drama) It was the most amazing night of my life!
Misa: Wha-wha-wha-what? You were in pain the whole time. L is evil! EVIL!
Light: Misa, were you watching the T.V.?
Misa: Yes.
Light: Did you understand what was going on?
Misa: Yes, L hurt you. I saw it with my own eyes…
Light: The thing is…you actually didn't see anything.
Misa: (With sparkling eyes) Oh, right! You always guide me the right way Light...
Light: (Smiles) Good girl.
Soichiro: (Shakes his head) I will never understand…
Narrator: Will Light stay with Misa? Or will he send her on her way for one of the new guys?
COMMERCIAL.
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You must be thinking "WTF?" after reading this chapter. I know I was while writing it.
Thanks a lot for reviewing, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I used Nicha the Purple Ghost's idea of a restaurant 'cuz it seemed to fit the mood/I am lazy. Thanks!
Let's review what we learned in this chapter, shall we?
1. L molests Light because he's a hormonal maniac...who knew? (Ude, how'd you know?! xP)
2. I have no words for Misa.
3. Mr. Yagami is quite embarrased.
4. Mrs. Yagami is very accepting and loves boyxboy action apparently.
Anyway...Light's final decision will be in the next chapter! It might be a surprise twist...or it might not.
Stay tuned.
P.S.: For those who were wondering, "Mange du merde et meurt, pute!" is French for "Eat shit and die, whore!" Ah, such an expansive vocabulary Mrs. Yagami has...