Sakura's Boarding School Cliché: An Akatsuki x Sakura Fanfiction AU
[Chapter 2]

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING other than the plot!

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P.S. Here's an extra long chapter and some fabulous Deidara x Sakura. ;)

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Hi! Sakura Haruno here. I am currently being strangled to death on the very day that I arrive at a boy's boarding school, in which I'm currently attending. By the way, the one who is strangling me is my roommate and best friend, but he doesn't know that because I'm dressed as a boy. Let's backtrack, shall we?

It was 7 :15 AM Monday morning in my beautiful 1969 black Chevy Camaro. I, Sakura Haruno, was on my way with all of my belongings, and moving to a boy's only boarding school. I shoved my pink hair into a baseball cap and threw on some grungy clothes to do my best dude impression. As I hauled my entire life up to the thirteenth floor of the building, I had gotten a paper with my schedule and the name of my roommate.

'We have a fucking roommate? That's the last thing we need to make this any fucking harder on us. What's the guy's motherfucking name?'

'Deidara Iwa.'

'Oh Shit.'

Anyways, I hauled all of my shit up thirteen flights of stairs because the elevator was under maintenance. Thirteen feet destroying trips later, I finally finished getting the boxes and various belongings outside the apartment room. I have way too much crap.

I opened the door to the place, praying to God that he wasn't there and was on his way to the school building. My prayers were heard because when I entered, the place was void of my favorite, yet slightly nerve grating, blond best friend. I sighed with relief and surveyed the place where I was to be living for the next year. It was surprisingly really nice. If this was one of the cheaper places that my aunt could've chosen from, I could only imagine the prices from one of the more expensive campuses.

'Damn, no wonder she chose one of the cheapest, and this place is nicer than our house. Well, if this is our own personal hell, then hell is surprisingly nice.'

'Damn straight, not to mention we have a hot roommate that we can actually explain this whole 'we're-a-chick-in-disguise-going-to-a-boy's-boarding-school-because-our-aunt-can't-ground-us-like-a-normal-guardian-and-she's-too-cheep-to-afford-a-girl's-boarding-school' mess to. '

'Inner, I don't think we should tell him, to be honest. I mean, I don't think we could tell anyone because we could seriously end up in some deep shit. I'm not saying that he would snitch or anything, but I think it would be safer just in case.

"By the way, since when is Deidara hot? I mean isn't that crossing some sort of line or something? He's our best friend for gods sakes! Inner, what in the hell are you thinking?'

'Outer, think about it. He knows us too well for us to pull the wool over his eyes, so to speak, and what would he say about us having our stuff? Not to mention, It would be a lot less stressful to have at least one person to understand and help us out with this, uh, inconvenience. Especially considering we're going to be doing this for some time.

So I don't think we should outright tell him, but I think we shouldn't deny anything, and he has to figure it out on his own. How's that for a slice of fried gold? Oh, and by the way, have you even seen that boy? He's a hot piece of ass if you would open your eyes and pay attention. It's an observation. It isn't crossing any lines because I'm not asking you to pull a move on him or try to get in his pants or anything. Outer, you are simply a prude. We're seventeen, almost eighteen for gods sake, we've got the right to have opinions on hot guys.'

'Inner, I'm not a prude.'

'Honey, if you aren't a prude, then why have we still not had our first kiss?'

'Ugh, whatever. Fine, we'll let him find out and shit. Now, shut up.'

'Winning.'

'You're not Charlie Sheen. Anyways, we have to move all of our shit in here and unpack.'

Thank God that it was so damn spacey and had room for our instruments. Most importantly, there was a really nice place to put my sweet, baby pink toed tarantula, Charlotte. Why people think that they are evil, dangerous, or ugly, I'll never know. Char-baby, as I like to call her, was a fuzzy ball of fluff, and her fur (?) was a shiny black- blue, and she had orange- pink toes that helped her scuttle about her terrarium.

Her tank was equipped with a heating pad under it, a humidifier, some fake plants, a fake mossy ground, a rock slash water dish, and a flossy-like web that she made between her tree plant and the glass walls of her own mini, jungle rain forest. Charlotte was pretty damn cute for a spider, and although she was a predator, and was sensitive to any type of movement in the air, she was usually a calm and sweet little thing.

It was kind of funny when some random puff of air, like a stray breath or air current from a fan would make her spaz out. She get really tense, and her little, fluffy legs would test the ground, while her front legs would shoot into the air as if for defense, and then she'd just freeze up for a moment before going on her marry way to do whatever she was scurrying on about before. After I got her all set up, and happy as a fuzzy critter could possibly be, I checked my car for anymore of my crap to unpack before locking it, and heading back up to the room. It was a hella hard job to unpack, and make it look like 'home'.

Excused from from all of my classes today, I had a whole day to move in and get all settled. I was pleased that my decorating skills hadn't messed up the place, and managed to actually add my own style while complementing Deidara'a. It was around 4:30 pm when I had finished unpacking.

I was told that when the unpacking was over and done with, I had to visit the School building and go to the principal's office to pick up the books and other material for my classes needed for the rest of the year.

As I was on my way, I had grabbed a bag of Skittles and a Pepsi to snack on realizing that I had been too preoccupied to remember to eat lunch. You know, healthy choices and such. I finally got to the office and the principal introduced himself as Dr. Uchiha. He was very tall comparably and was at least 6'2". He had long black locks that girl's would have killed for and it was cut in choppy layers, and appeared almost like an adult version of a scene kid.

It strangely suited him, however he was still much younger than I would have thought, and I hate to say it but he was quite attractive. He held an authoritative vibe about him although it wasn't altogether unpleasant.

He greeted me with a small smile and a handshake, handed my stuff for me to take, and sent me on my way. Had finally gotten back to apartment thingy, and had expected to see Dei by now, but no one was here. Still, I had thought that maybe he was hanging out with 'the guys', and thought nothing of it. I had set my books, and stuff down on my desk neatly, and walked into the living room.

Suddenly, I was slammed against a wall from behind, and the force of it knocked the breath out of me. I had no time to get my air back when an arm was around my neck.

*Backtrack over.*

So, here I am about to be strangled to death. Ta-da.

There's enough pressure to cut off my oxygen from my brain and my lungs, but not enough pressure to break my hyoid bone right below my jaw. {1} I can't fucking breathe or make any noise, so I writhe and try to struggle against the predator, but he uses his other arm to restrain my arms to my body.

I'm freaking out and am thinking that I'm on the brink of blacking out, when the man's deep voice growls at me saying, "I am going to let you go, and you are going to tell me who the fuck you are, and why you are in my fucking place. If you do not tell me, and I see you making any sudden moves, I will not hesitate to kill you, yeah."

I immediately froze in my tracks and nodded as best as I could.

'Deidara? Is that him?'

'I think so because I we couldn't miss that speech impediment if we tried. What the fuck? Is he usually like this to strangers?' Inner thought sarcastically.

'Well, I'd kick the living shit out of someone too if I found them in my place without me knowing.'

'That's true but we wouldn't attempt murder. Now that I've come to think about it, Dei is kind of sexy when he's angry, although, the death threats are such a turnoff.'

'Inner, this is no time to be a hussy!'

'Just tell him what happened, and he'll cool down. Jesus, Outer he's waiting for a reply and is giving us the'I know I attempted murder, but I will get the job done if you don't hurry the fuck-up' look so hurry up and explain, you slow bitch.' I internally sighed.

I threw my hat across the room, letting my pink hair flip about and yelled, hoarsely I might add, "Surprise!" And to this he started twitching and looking shocked and mortified.

'Poor Dei.'

'What do you mean poor Dei, bitch, poor US.'

So, I explained the entire situation to him, including how my cell phone was taken away until I got here. Everything. I saw his face change from originally pissed and murderous, to shocked, to looking like he was about to roll around on the floor laughing his ass off. My throat's been killing me, I've been coughing every so often, and my voice is still strained. As I finally finished my misadventureous and jacked up tale, to which he just looked at me in pity with a bit of amusement, and said eight words that I will not soon forget.

"So, do you want some tea or something, hmm?"

I then punched him in the arm, and said ever so politely, "What the fuck is wrong with you? You almost murder me in cold blood and the next thing you say is 'So, do you want some fucking tea or something, hmmm?! Well, as a matter of fact I do, but I just have to say that you are one of the most Goddamn infuriating people I have ever met!"

He rubbed his arm where I punched him, and muttered "Sheesh Sak. I didn't know it was you. You know I'd never intentionally hurt you. Plus, I only find this moderately hilarious, and of course I'm going to help your sorry ass, uhn."

He gave one of his trademark smirk slash grins, and ruffled my hair as he walked into the kitchen to make said 'motherfucking tea'. I gave an exasperated look in the direction of where he went, and went to unwind from my N.D.E. {2}

I grabbed my iPod and scrolled down to Reptile by The Church. I sat down on the couch and cranked the volume while working on my charcoal roses and skull drawing. I thought that maybe I should paint the roses beige, black, and whitish and I should paint the skull Blood red with a tinged green shade mixed into the dimensions.

I was completely absorbed in my thoughts and didn't notice that one of my earphones had fallen out and the lighting darkened and somewhat obscured my sketch, and so I looked up confused only to see Dei with only of my headphones in and peering over my drawing, while holding two mugs of ginger tea, and some thin mint cookies. He saw that I had finally noticed his presence and handed me my drink and spoke up.

"You know, that's really good. Are you planning on painting this one, yeah?"

"Well, I thought that maybe I should switch the colors of the skull and the colors of the roses."

"Hmm."

He furrowed his eyebrows in thought.

"What?"

"I was just thinking bout how that'd look, and was trying to picture it, is all, yeah."

"Too much?"

:Nah, too cool probably, hmm."

My iPod switched to Igorrr's Brutal Swing as I took a swig of my tea, and bit into the minty, chocolaty cookie.

"Yeah. So what's with your weird taste in music, hmm?"

"Who's to say what's weird and what's normal?"

He gave me an annoyed glance and said "You know what I mean, yeah."

I just grinned and told him "I'm weird, and normal doesn't do it for me."

He grinned slyly at me.

"What does do it for you, uhn?"

I looked at him for a moment and saw that he wasn't chilling against the couch anymore, but he was at the edge of it, mirroring my position, which was hunched over my drawing. Only, he wasn't hunched over a drawing, he was hunched over me. I ignored it but froze up a little. He took advantage of that, and nuzzled his nose into the base of my neck and pulled away instantly after I involuntarily shivered when I felt his breath on my neck.

He looked at me in that snarky way people do when they find out something. It's something like 'Oh really, now?'. I glared at him as if he had stomped on Charlotte.

"What the fuck was that dude?"

I don't put up with crap like that. Ever.

'You know you liked that. I know I did.' Inner purred.

'You are a horrible influence. I hope you know this.'

'Indubitably, man.'

Deidara displayed mock hurt. He knew he won though. I lost because I reacted.

"What was what, hmm?"

"Nothing, man. If nothing happens again, though. I will tie you to the hood of my car."

I sneered.

"Kinky, hmm."

He winked at me, then grabbed the empty mugs, and walked out of the room. I sprung up from the chair and cursed on the way to the bedroom where I had my bags with all of my clothes and stuff. I went into the bathroom and slammed the door not caring who heard. I quickly took a shower and put on my pajamas which were a Megadeth 'Peace Sells' T-shirt and black sweatpants which had neon blue tiger stripes throughout them.

"I'm going to bed, fucker."

"You know that we have to share a bed until the school get you your own, right, yeah?"

"Oh, go to hell, Dei!" He chuckled, and went to take his shower. He yelled from inside the bathroom "Hey, if you want people to believe that you are a guy, then don't wear fucking peppermint body wash, you lame-o! I'll help make you seem like more of a dude tomorrow, hmm!"

"Okay, whatever! Thanks, man!"

"Great, because your sorry ass needs it, hmm!"

When he was done with his shower I was almost asleep until he yelled in my ear. "Move over, bitch, yeah!"

I almost jumped out of my skin and fell onto the floor.

"Dude, that wasn't nice."

I mumbled half asleep.

"Whatever, that's for being so stuck up lately, hmm."

I glared at him half-heartedly. I then noticed what he was wearing for pajamas. Okay, so I have Adonis for a roommate. Holy shit. He just took a shower, so his long blonde hair was still dripping wet, and it was down instead of his usual half up, half down style. That boy wasn't completely ripped, but he was lean, and he still had clearly defined muscles. I knew this because he was shirtless, and only wearing Snoopy pajama pants from that one comic in the newspaper that they have movies of, too.

Oh yeah, it called Peanuts. I love that show. Any-who, Inner was chanting 'Humina, humina, humina.' like it was a mantra.

I think I was staring a bit too long because Deidara smirked with a mischievous glint in his light blue eyes.

"Problem ,yeah?"

I raised an eyebrow, and scoffed.

"Snoopy? Really, Dei?"

'Nice save, dude!'

Inner cackled proudly.

He rolled his blue eyes and sat down on the twin sized bed.

"Dude, the bed's too small. Your fat ass takes up most of it."

"My ass is not fat, and we'll figure it out, hmm."

Something told me I wasn't going to be completely thrilled about this. We ended up with my back facing him and he had an arm around my waist with his chin on my head. I could feel his toned chest and abs pressed against my back, and, honey, could you blame me if couldn't sleep well? Dei was having the time of his life making this humiliating for me. I almost wish I would have kept my damn mouth shut and him end up killing me.

"Goodnight, yeah."

"Whatever, goodnight."

'Goodnight Inner.'

'Goodnight, outer. We're the luckiest bitches. I have to say.'

'Bitch, shut up and sleep.'

'What? He's warm, dude.'

'I said shut up and sleep, fuckwit.'

'Damn, goodnight to you too..'

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{1} ~The hyoid bone makes us capable of complex vocal interactions, so if it breaks we're unable to do that. In forensic investigations, a broken hyoid is a sign of strangulation.

{2} ~Near Death Experience