Standard Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight or an of the characters from the story. All song selections have been provided by me amazing beta, NoWayWithWords. She is the greatest! She has set up a YouTube Playlist that includes the songs chosen for the chapters. If you would like to check it out, see my profile for the link.

(By the way - I added an outtake from Edward's point of view at the end of this chapter)

The song for the chapter is "Only for a Moment" by Maggy Adeleye.

Chapter 20 - Changes

Jasper and Alice met us at the studio to help unload and clean out the bus. As soon as I stepped off of the bus, Alice ran over and gave me a hug. "Bella! I'm so glad you're home. I missed you. Did you have fun? How did it go? What did you do on your vacation in Texas? What did you think about New York? Did you meet any interesting people? You have to tell me everything!"

"I will Alice, but first I need to get unpacked, do laundry, sort through the stuff I bought for everyone, download the pictures from my camera, and take a shower."

Alice was jumping up and down. "I'll help." She ran over to the bus and started dragging my things from the storage area underneath. Jasper was talking to the band about the instruments and other equipment. He had a list of each thing he sent and what condition it was in when it left. He examined each item and checked it back in on his list before allowing it to be carried inside the studio. It was obvious that he was working. This was not play time.

I called my dad and let him know that I was back in Seattle. He said that he would leave from Forks and head that way. It would take him about four hours to get to the studio to pick me up, so I figured I had plenty of time to talk to Alice and Jasper while I sorted through my things.

Once Jasper finished up with the guys and told them they could leave, he helped me carry my things inside while we waited on my dad. I told him and Alice about the different venues where I played and charity events that I attended. I told him about the interviews I had done and explained some of the pictures they had seen of me. I kept everything pretty upbeat and refused to let myself think about Edward and how much he hurt me. I think they suspected something was wrong between me and Edward because they never once asked about our relationship.

I gave them the things I had picked up for them and showed off the autographed memorabilia I had collected. Jasper suggested I put them in a glass case. He said they would be collectors' items one day. I couldn't imagine someone paying good money for something like that, but you never know how crazy some fans get.

Dad was happy to see that I was alright. I don't know if he expected me to be filthy and half starved to death or what. Jasper helped him load all of my stuff in the trunk and backseat of the car while Alice and I made arrangements to meet for dinner in Port Angeles the following weekend.

The ride back was relatively quiet. I told dad a few things about the trip. He told me a few things that had happened around town. My music had finally made it onto the little radio station in Forks, so my dad was getting asked a lot of questions about how I was doing, who I was seeing, and who my songs were written about. Knowing my dad, he probably just shrugged his shoulders and told them that he didn't know. That was his style. He didn't like talking about personal stuff, even his own personal stuff. In a way, it was nice, but it could be quite annoying if you were trying to find out information.

When we ran out of things to talk about, I fell asleep. Dad woke me up when we got home and helped me carry my things up to my room before he told me that he had to head to work and wouldn't be home until early in the morning. I promised him that I would be fine, and thanked him for picking me up, as he walked out the door.

Once he was gone and I fixed myself something to eat, I started working on my laundry. As I washed clothes, I cleaned up around the house. I had just finished my last load and was going upstairs to put it away when my cell phone started ringing.

I answered without looking at the number. "Hello?"

A warm familiar voice said, "Bella? This is Esme. I'm sure you don't remember me…"

I remembered her right away. "Esme. Edward's mom. Yes, I remember you. How have you been?"

"I've been fine, dear. I was just calling because I saw your messages. Oh, look at me; I am sure you have no idea what I'm even talking about. Let me explain. Edward sent me his cell phone because it's useless in Europe. He paid for the service that would allow him to use the phone internationally, but he can't charge it over there. He tried using the plug adapter, but for some reason it just won't work. He broke down and bought a disposable cell phone over there to use in emergencies, but he asked that I not give out the number because the lines over there are not secure. Anyone can listen in on his calls and access his text messages."

"Oh, ok," I said lamely.

"Anyway, he sent me his phone and asked me to check his messages. He said that he wanted me to handle everything that I could. If there is anything I can't handle, I am supposed to take a message. He said he is going to call me to get them when he gets a chance. So, when I got the phone yesterday, I charged it and found a few messages and several missed calls from you. I thought I would call to let you know what was going on and see if there was anything I can help you with."

"Oh, so he didn't hear any of my messages?"

"No. His phone was already dead when he got off the plane. He called me from the hotel to make these arrangements. He didn't want to pay the ridiculous long distance charges just to check his voicemail and he can't get his text messages over the phone."

I wasn't sure if I was happy that he wasn't just completely ignoring my messages, or upset that he didn't try to contact me at all. Either way I tried to think of it, the end results were the same. He had not called me at all since he left, he was not going to call me anytime soon, and the only way to reach him was to leave a message with his mom and hope he decided to call me back eventually.

"Do you know if he is checking his email?"

"He didn't take his laptop. If he is checking it, he would have to use a computer at a hotel, or something like that. Knowing him as well as I do, I seriously doubt he would do something like that. He would be worried that his password would be stored on the hotel's computer system. Over the years, he has learned to be extra cautious."

"I see," I said glumly.

"Congratulations on the rest of your tour, by the way. It sounds like you had a really good time. Are you back home now, or are you still on the road?"

"I just got home today."

"It always feels good to get home and sleep in your own bed. Hopefully you didn't have anything major waiting for your attention."

"No. I took care of pretty much everything before I left. The only thing I have to do is find a job."

Esme sounded surprised. "I thought your music was your career now."

"It was fun, and I've made a pretty good amount of money on this tour and with the royalties coming in, but I'm not sure where to go from here," I admitted.

"You use your money wisely and work on more music. Once you have written a few songs, schedule some studio time, record what you have written, then write some more. Eventually you will have enough good songs to release another CD. In the meantime, you may be approached to do interviews or invited to play at different events. I recommend you accept any opportunity you get to put yourself out there. The more the public sees you and likes you, the more interested they will be in your music."

"So, you don't think I should go back to the diner and beg for my waitressing job back?"

"Do you like being a waitress?"

"No, not really," I answered.

"Then I suggest you follow your heart as long as you can and don't give up until you have no other choice."

"Thanks, Esme. I really appreciate it."

"Any time you feel like talking, you feel free to give me a call. I'm usually around."

"Thanks again, Esme. I'll do that."

We hung up the phone and I thought about what she said about following my heart. Unfortunately, my heart was on the other side of the planet, completely out of touch, and possibly ignoring me. I grabbed my camera and started downloading the pictures. As I watched them pop up on the screen of my laptop, I started to cry. I saw the picture I had taken of Edward asleep in my bunk, Edward concentrating while playing Guitar Hero with Marcus and Aro, Edward scowling while he did dishes in the tiny bus sink, Edward making funny faces backstage, Edward looking sexy in his tux, Edward laughing on the beach, Edward standing with his back to me while looking out the window of a hotel room, and one of Edward blowing me a kiss.

There were some really great pictures of places I went and things I saw along the way. Some of the pictures made me laugh, like the picture of Caius pretending to grab Garrett's ass and the one of Marcus sleeping with his head hanging out of his bunk. There was a beautiful silhouette of Aro and Gianna kissing on the beach at sunset, with the water behind them. There was also a beautiful picture of Edward and I wrapped up in each other's arms asleep. We looked peaceful.

I was shocked at some of the pictures of me in my camera. Some of them were taken by Edward. I could tell because they were usually close ups of certain body parts, but some had been taken by someone else. They were pictures of Edward and I doing things together, like talking, laughing, reading, kissing, playing music, and sleeping. There were even some pictures of us on stage together.

Each new picture started a new round of tears. I realized that I missed all of them. During one trip across the country I had grown to consider each one of them good friends. The only person I didn't miss was Jane and her bitchy attitude.

When the pictures finished downloading, I pulled up a new screen and started writing. I wrote a song for being left behind, one for long lost friends, and one for a love that grew too quickly, too strong, and ended too soon. I didn't realize how late it was until my dad came home from work. He told me that it was late and I should get to bed, but I was wrapped up in writing and couldn't stop until I finished.

"So, this is what you do for work now?" Dad asked.

I nodded, "Yes, this is me working. I get inspired by something and turn it into music. If I don't get it down while it's fresh in my head, I'll forget it."

Dad walked into my room and looked at my computer. "Do you really think you can make money doing this? I know you're having fun, but you need to think about your future. I know there's not much to do in this town, but you have bills and a student loan to consider."

I pulled up my bank account online and turned my laptop so my dad could see the balance in my account. "Dad, I was almost completely out of money before I left on tour. You see how much money I have now. Most of it is what I made by playing the concerts, but you see these deposits that are coming in. Those are royalties from CD sales. It may not look like it, but I am making money off of this. The more popular I get, the more people will want to buy my music and come to my concerts. The concerts I played on the way home were sold out. I'm going to take a break from touring and work on another CD for a little while, but eventually I will probably start touring again."

My dad sat down on the edge of my bed in shock. "Geez, Bella, I never would have guessed that you could make so much money doing this. I always knew you were talented, but I didn't realize the rest of the world would think so, too." He gave me an uncomfortable look. I knew he didn't mean to sound negative, so I just smiled at him. "I'm proud of you, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad."

He sat there in silence for a few seconds and then promptly got up and left the room. It didn't take me long to finish the song I was working on. By then I was inspired to start a song about parents that don't know how to show their love for their children. It wasn't a bashing song, it was a song pointing out that even though they don't say it often enough, they try to show their love in other ways, like dropping everything to make an eight hour round trip to Seattle to pick their kid up, rather than making them take the bus home.

I had written the words to each song and roughly mapped out music for the lead guitar and the singing. I would work with Nate to polish it up, add drums, and the bass guitar. We worked well together, so I didn't doubt that he would be able to help me come up with something. When I was writing songs before, I would jot down the words and sing them to Nate. He would suggest some changes and play with the beat, once we had a feel for it, we would add in the guitars. It took much longer to polish a song than it did to come up with inspiration and occasionally, by the time we were finished, the song no longer even resembled what I started with.

I saved my work and checked my email before getting ready for bed. I saw a few emails from Rosalie, but decided they could wait until the following day. After I shut down my computer, I made a list of things that I wanted to accomplish when I got up. I needed to make appointments with my dentist and my gynecologist for checkups. Now that I had money, I had no excuse to put off either of them. I wanted to pay off at least half of my student loans. I had enough money in my account to pay them off completely, but that wouldn't leave me with very much in my account. I didn't want to take a chance of an emergency coming up and not having enough money to cover my needs.

With my list complete, I climbed in bed and shut out the light. My little double bed felt huge. I had gotten used to sleeping on the bus. It also felt strange that the bed was so still. I was used to the sway of the bus as it rolled down the highway. Even when the bus wasn't moving, I could still feel movement due to the wind and hear sounds of the city around us. At home, in the tiny town of Forks, there was no movement. There were no city sounds. Everyone in town had been asleep for several hours. If I listened closely, the only sound I could hear was the faint sound of the breeze rustling the tree tops.

After tossing and turning for about an hour, I finally got up and tossed my luggage on the other side of the bed, so it wouldn't feel so big. It helped a little. I pulled out the blanket I had taken with me on the trip and wrapped up in it. It still smelled like Edward. I nuzzled my face into the thick blanket and drifted off to sleep.

I felt achy the next day. I still felt a little tired, my muscles were sore, and I was incredibly thirsty. I probably drank half of a gallon of water before I went back upstairs to take a shower and get dressed for the day.

When I looked in the mirror, I noticed that my cheeks were flushed. I checked my temperature and found that it was slightly elevated, but nothing bad enough that I would consider myself sick. I called the dentist. Luckily, he could fit me in later that afternoon. He didn't usually have a problem making time to see his patients.

When I called my gynecologist to set up an appointment, her receptionist said that the next available appointment wasn't for another three weeks. I asked her if she could call in a refill of my birth control prescription since it had completely ran out. She put me on hold and checked with the doctor. The doctor checked the schedule and decided she could see me the following week, on a Thursday. It wasn't an instant solution, but it was better than three weeks.

With all the arrangements made and time to spare, I turned on the TV and stretched out on the couch. Dad didn't have cable, so the only thing on were soap operas. Before I could catch on to what was going on, I drifted off to sleep again and didn't wake up until 20 minutes before my dentist appointment. I couldn't believe I had slept so long. I jumped up and went to the bathroom to freshen up and check to make sure I didn't have the patterns on my face from the fabric of the couch. Thankfully I looked ok. I brushed my teeth one more time and then headed to the dentist office.

My checkup went well. I had no cavities. The hygienist cleaned my teeth and gave me a new toothbrush, like she always did, and told me that I needed to force my dad to come in for a cleaning. He hadn't been in years. I told her I would talk to him, but short of holding a gun to his head, I doubted it would help much.

When I got back from the dentist, I started reading my emails from Rosalie. Most of them were thank you notes she had forwarded to me from the charities that I had helped raise money for. One of the emails she said that she was going to start printing them out and putting them in a binder, along with the cards and letters I was receiving from people involved with the charities.

The last email was titled, "Call me on this one…"

I opened the email to read what Rosalie wrote.

I am sending this email so I don't forget to talk to you about it. I got a call yesterday from a guy in Florida. He said he was a foster parent for a kid you met when you were there. He said you gave him your cell phone number, but it accidentally got washed in his pants. Anyway, he wanted you to know that the kid is in the hospital. I have his number if you want it.

Rose

I picked up the phone right away and called Rosalie. "Hey, Rose, I just read the email you sent last night about the guy in Florida. Did he say the name of the kid?"

"Yes, I wrote it down somewhere, hold on. Let me look…"

"Was it Lucia?"

"Yes, that's it. He seemed like a nice guy, so I figured I would tell you about it. If it were some crack pot, I would have just blown him off. So you know who he's talking about?"

"Yes, she was a little girl I met at Disney World. Did he say what was wrong with her?"

"No, he just gave me his number. Do you want it?"

"Yes, please."

She gave me the number, so I called. A lady answered the phone.

"May I speak to Mr. Johnson, please?"

There was some sound on the other end of the phone and then the man came on, "This is Clarence."

"Mr. Johnson, this is Bella Swan. I just got your message about Lucia. Is she alright?"

"Ms. Swan, I'm glad you called. She is doing better. She came down with pneumonia and had to be hospitalized. They have her stabilized now. The medicine really knocks her out though."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad she's doing better. How did she end up with pneumonia?"

"We had to take in another child for a weekend, until they could find a family member to take him in. He had a really bad cold and gave it to all of our foster kids. Lucia was the first one to catch it, but it just wouldn't go away. It turned into bronchitis and then ended up turning into pneumonia."

"That's a shame. Are the other kids alright?"

"Yes, thank God. Lucia is the only one that had problems. The doctors are testing her to see if she has asthma or some other upper respiratory problem. I don't suspect they are going to find anything. The little girl is as healthy as a horse. Their biggest concern is her mother's medical history."

"Why would that concern them?"

"Her mother was diagnosed as HIV positive in the prison clinic. They think she got it from sharing needles, but they didn't know if she had it before Lucia was born or if she got it after."

"Can't they test her?"

"Yes. They just found out about it this morning, so they took some blood. They should have the results tomorrow. We all have our fingers crossed. If the results come back positive, they will pull Lucia from our home and send her somewhere else. If they come back negative, they may send her back to us or they may send her somewhere else. They've just sent us a couple of teenagers, so our house is now completely full."

"Is it full with Lucia in your house, or is it full with Lucia at the hospital?"

"It's full with her in our home. I suspect they may try to move her because almost all of our other kids are older. They may try to send her to stay with other kids that are closer to her own age."

"I see. I hope they don't send her away. She seems like such a happy little girl. Moving her around like that will only hurt her." My heart ached at the thought of her being shuffled in and out of strangers' homes.

"I agree. Well, I had better get back in there before my wife starts to worry."

"Ok, thank you for keeping me informed. Please let me know if anything changes, better or worse."

"I'll do that. Oh, Ms. Bella, we are supposed to take her back before the judge next month to see if they are going to ask her mother to forfeit her rights. If they do, and she signs the papers, Lucia is going to need a new family. I'm not trying to push or anything. I just thought I would mention it as something to think about."

"Thank you, Mr. Johnson, I'll do that."

When I hung up the phone, I really did start to think about it. Could I raise a three year old little girl alone? Did I think I was responsible enough? Would I ever be ready to deal with babysitters, birthday parties, and daycare? I knew people did it all the time, but was I one of those people? My music career was brand new and still pretty unstable. Who would take care of her while I was working? If I had to play in bars, who would stay with her at night? If I went on tour, would I take her with me? Would it be bad to drag her all over the country?

I thought back to the conversation I had with Edward about settling down and having kids. He was pretty adamant that he didn't want to have kids. He thought the life of a musician was much too crazy to raise a kid. If I adopted Lucia, would he not want anything to do with me?

Just as soon as the thought popped into my mind, I got angry with myself. This wasn't about whether or not Edward is going to want me back when he comes back from his European tour. This was about a precious little girl that needs a good home. There was no way of knowing what Edward was going to want when he got back. The note he left made it sound like we were through. He had not made any attempt to contact me since he left. We didn't even live in the same state. The chances of us ever accidentally running into each other were slim and none. I shouldn't make my life decisions based on whether or not he would care at all. If he loved me, he would have to accept my decisions and work around them.

With this in mind, I decided there were some things I needed to do. The first was to talk to Rosalie. I hadn't made any final decisions about whether or not I was considering adopting Lucia yet, and we didn't even know if it was going to be an option, but I thought Rosalie would be able to help me look at it from a legal aspect. I didn't even know if I would qualify to do such a thing.

Rose and I met for lunch the following day. She was thrilled with the gifts I brought for her and Emmett. We talked about some upcoming radio promotions that she suggested I do. She also suggested a couple of photo shoots and interviews for a couple of magazines. I agreed to do them as long as they were willing to come to me. I didn't want to go any further than Seattle if possible. Rose said she would talk details with them and let me know.

I waited until we finished eating before I broached the subject of Lucia. Rose didn't seem surprised at all. It was like we were discussing picking up clothes from the dry cleaners. She made a few notes for herself, told me that it would look better if I wasn't living with my dad. She suggested that I check into houses and apartments in Seattle, that way I wouldn't live so far away from the studio. I would be near a major airport, so reporters could find me easily. There was plenty of clubs I could play in for money or recognition, and the schools in Seattle weren't bad either. She said she would look into the adoption laws, to see if there was anything I should specifically do or not do.

"Thanks for helping me look into this, Rose. We won't know for a little while if she is going to become available, and even if she does, I'm not sure if I'm going to want to adopt her or not. I just want to be prepared."

Rose looked at me pointedly and narrowed her eyes. "Don't lie to yourself, Bella. You have already made your decision. You made your decision before you hung up the phone with that man. You just haven't admitted it to yourself yet. You want that little girl and you know it. I'll do what I can to help you on one condition: if it is at all possible, please change her name. If you can't change her name, please give her a decent nickname or something. Everyone is going to mispronounce her name if it stays the way it is. I mean seriously, it looks like it should be pronounced Loo-see-a but you said it's supposed to be Loo-sha. It's just wrong to do that to a kid."

"There is nothing wrong with her name, Rose. It is a normal name. It's not very common, but it is a normal name. Some would say that Rosalie is a horrible name. It sounds like someone's grandmother, not like someone that looks like you. Why didn't you change your name?"

"I thought about it, but my mom would have killed me. It was a family name on her side of the family."

"Lucia might have been a family name, too. We don't know."

"Well, we won't have to worry about that, because her mother is a crack whore. She'll lose her ability to have a say as soon as she signs the paperwork. I think we should come up with a better name for the poor girl."

"Just work on the research and let me worry about her name," I said as I paid the bill and got ready to leave.

When I left the restaurant, I felt good. I finally felt like I had something to focus my attention on. It also felt good to be able to think about something that wasn't Edward Cullen. I stopped at a record store a few blocks from the restaurant to see if they had anything new in stock from one of my many favorite bands. It had been a while since I last updated my music collection and I thought I deserved a treat.

I went inside and headed for the "Just in" aisle. I was standing there looking at the back of a CD when I noticed a flurry of activity around the store. I looked up and found that people were looking at me and pointing. If this had happened six months ago, I would have looked around to see if they were looking at someone else, or checked to see if my shirt had come unbuttoned or my zipper was down, but now I knew they just recognized me. I still checked my buttons and zipper, just in case, but I did it discreetly.

The customers seemed torn between wanting to talk to me and wanting to give me privacy. One of the cashiers called the store manager to come to the front of the store. When he got there, she said something to him softly but she never took her eyes off of me, so I knew she was talking about me. He made sure his shirt was tucked in and walked over to where I was standing.

"Is there anything I can help you find?" he asked.

"No, I was in the area, so I decided to stop in and see what was new."

He cleared his throat nervously and said, "You're Bella Swan, right?"

"In the flesh." I said with a smile.

He smiled right back at me. "I knew there was a reason everyone was getting excited. We don't see many celebrities in here."

On a whim, I said, "I can autograph some CDs if you want me to."

"Really? That would be great! Let me get someone to bring a table and a chair from the back and I'll go make an announcement. How long should I say you will be here?"

"I can stay for an hour, maybe two if people start showing up."

"Two would be perfect. It would give people a chance to call their friends."

"Ok, two hours it is."

He scurried off and came back with a small table, and a chair. I told him that I already had markers. He seemed relieved to hear that. I took a seat as people started wandering my direction curiously. The manager made an announcement that I would be signing autographs for two hours. He also announced that he had a case of my CDs available at the counter for people who would like to pick one up.

People rushed over and bought my CD so they would have something for me to sign, even though they probably already had a copy at home. One guy said he would hang the autographed CD on his wall and listen to the other one. It made sense when he put it that way, so I felt a little better.

In no time at all, there was a line in the store. The manager had sold all of the CD's he had on the shelf and sitting up at the counter, so he had to go get more out of the back room. By the time I left, he had sold every one of my CDs that he had in stock. He was incredibly appreciative that I took the time to hang out in his store. I thanked him for giving me the opportunity and accepted his offer to escort me to my car because people were still standing around.

When I got home, I found an email from Rosalie. In a few hours time, she had managed to find some information for people who were considering adoption. I read the information and decided to talk to my dad about it.

I went downstairs and found my dad sitting in his favorite chair, watching TV. Sports were not on, so I knew it would be ok if I started a conversation. He was serious about his sports. When they were on TV I couldn't get his attention if my life depended on it.

I sat on the couch. "Hey, Dad, do you have a minute?"

He muted the TV and said, "Sure, Bells, what's up?"

"Dad, I'm thinking of doing something, but I wanted to talk to you about it first."

"Okay. I'm listening."

I tried to phrase my thoughts carefully so I wouldn't hurt his feelings. "Well, I'm thinking about moving into my own place, but not because I want to get away from you or anything."

"You're a grown woman, Bella. I don't expect you to stick around this place, just to take care of me. You have your own life to lead. Where are you thinking of going?"

"Well, I was thinking about finding a place in Seattle. It's closer to where I need to be for my music career."

"And if your music doesn't pan out?"

"I have a much better chance at finding a job that will utilize my college education there than I do here."

"That's true," Dad said.

"The other reason I'm considering moving to Seattle is because there are some really good schools there."

Dad's face turned white as the blood drained out of it. "What are you trying to tell me, Isabella Marie Swan?"

"Don't panic, Dad! While I was away on tour, I met a little girl who needs a family. She's three years old. Her dad is dead and her mom is in prison and has HIV. There is a possibility that she may be coming up for adoption soon."

"Do you really think you are ready to take care of a little girl, Bella? It's a lot of responsibility. Believe me; your entire life will change."

"I know it's a big decision. That's why I wanted to talk to you about it first. This will affect you too, after all. She would be your granddaughter."

Dad thought silently for a minute. I knew him well enough to know that he was weighing risk and reward. That is the way he made decisions, as long as something wasn't illegal. When he finally spoke, he said, "How well do you know this little girl?"

"Not well at all, honestly. I held her for a few minutes and talked to her foster father. I've spoken with him on the phone since then. He and his wife are really nice people. They have a house full of foster kids. He's the one that told me that she may be coming up for adoption soon."

"I think this decision is much too important to make based on first impressions. You should spend some time with the girl first and really get to know her. You may find that she was on her best behavior when you met and is a complete terror in real life. After you really get to know her, then make your decision. I'll support you either way."

"Thank you, Dad."

"Oh, and Bella, don't feel obligated to adopt this girl just because she needs a home. There are plenty of people out there that would love to adopt a child, especially one that's so young. The kids that have the hardest time getting adopted are the teenagers."

"I understand."

"So, tell me what you know about her."

I told dad about how we met, what she looked like, how her father died, and what her mom was doing that landed her in prison. I told him what Rosalie said about her name and he laughed. By the time I went back upstairs, I decided that I was going to call Clarence the following day and make arrangements to go spend some time in Florida getting to know Lucia.

A/N: So now we know why Edward hasn't called. Maybe his paranoia is getting the best of him. Let's see…

Here is a tiny little outtake from Edward's point of view. (Warning… This has NOT been beta'd, so any mistakes are mine and mine alone. You can't blame NoWayWithWords.)

(Chapter 20 Outtake)

EPOV

These last couple of weeks have been pure hell. I had to hide my tears all the way to Europe because there were members of the press booked in first class with us. I have always hated public transportation for that very reason. Most reporters and photographers respect your privacy while you are traveling, but some are just bastards. The one following me on tour was the biggest bastard of all time, James Davis with IntheNews.

He was sitting in the seat two rows behind me listening closely to everything we said or did. He even had the balls to ask if I was high because my eyes were bloodshot. I told him that it was allergies and that I hadn't touched anything illegal in years. He just smirked and went back to typing something on his laptop. Bastard.

When we arrived in London and I was finally able to turn my phone back on, the damn thing came on just long enough for me to see that I had a message from Bella and then it died. I didn't even get a chance to read what the message said. I hoped that she was texting me to tell me that she loves me too and was wishing me luck, but I couldn't be sure.

We got off of the plane and headed straight to the stadium where we were going to be playing. I tried to plug the phone in to let it charge, but the outlet was different. That's when I remembered that mom had arranged for us to lease equipment while we were overseas because she was concerned that ours would get damaged in transit and they wouldn't work with the power over here. I sent Peter to the store before the show, to find me a converter for my phone. I plugged it in and let it charge the entire time I was onstage. After the performance, I checked and the damn thing was still dead. Piece of shit phone.

We loaded up on the tour bus and headed for our next location. I was scheduled to do an afternoon performance in Glasgow, so we all had to sleep on the bus. Unfortunately, the bus didn't have bunks to sleep in. The seats reclined a little, but not enough to really be comfortable, so sleeping was a bitch. The other problem was that we were all crammed on the same bus. It wasn't just me and the guys, it was also Jane, Gianna, Heidi, and all of the other people we hired for this trip. There was no privacy at all and some of the guys snored worse than my dad.

When we arrived in Glasgow, I tried charging my phone again, but had no luck. The thing just wouldn't work. After the concert was over, I had some interviews to do and then we headed for Dublin.

When I originally started booking shows for this tour, I glanced through my contract to see how many performances I needed to do in order to fulfill my contractual obligations. After the US charity leg of the tour, I still had to do another 26 shows. I figured that would be easy, so I planned to hit every major city in Europe. I looked up the area on Google maps and guessed at drive times. I planned it so that I would basically hit a different city each night. I figured I would be finished in a month and then I could come home and start seriously looking for a new record company.

It wasn't until I had the first 20 shows booked that mom read through the fine print and pointed out that there was a minimum venue size listed on my contract. I needed 26 large venue performances or 52 medium sized venues. When I looked at the places I had booked, only four of them were classified as large venues. I also looked back at the previous places I had played and found that some of them were classified as medium sized venues according to the record company's bullshit definition. That meant I needed to do even more shows.

Mom and I worked together to make contact with someone in every city that had a large venue to see when I could schedule to be there. More than half of them were already booked, so I had to fill in the extra performances with more medium sized places. By the time I left for Europe, I had a performance booked almost every night for the first two months and then I had them spaced a little more reasonably apart for the following three months. In total, it was going to take five months to finish this tour.

By the end of the first week, I was so exhausted from the lack of sleep, worrying about how Bella's tour was going, stressing about being out of contact with the rest of the world, and performing on nothing more than coffee and candy bars, that I almost broke down and canceled a show just to get some rest. I probably would have done it if my fucking phone was working. Piece of shit phone!

Heidi pulled me aside and told me that she was worried about me not eating. I hadn't really thought much about it until she pointed it out, but the last real meal I ate was with Bella. Everything they shoved in my direction since the plane landed either sounded nasty, looked nasty, or smelled nasty. Who the hell decided we were going to try local foods while touring different countries? That's right… it was Jane's stupid idea.

I think my dick got hard the first time we stopped at McDonald's to pick up something to eat. It wasn't exactly the same, but it was close enough that I managed to eat an entire meal with no problem at all. Thank you, Heidi.

Before we left McDonald's I ran across the street to a place that sold cell phones to see if they could tell me why my phone wasn't working. Once I found someone in the store that spoke English, he told me that he had never seen my phone before, so he had no clue. He offered me another phone, but when I asked him about secure channels, he had no idea what I was talking about.

"Can other people hear my calls if I use one of your phones?"

"You want to hear calls? This what you need."

He picked up a device and typed in some numbers before handed it to me. He said, "Hear call of lady." He pointed to a lady standing outside the store, talking on her cell phone.

I held the speaker to my ear and could hear both sides of her phone call.

The man said, "You no speak, only hear. You buy?"

I could just imagine James Davis picking up one of these. The thought sent chills down my spine. I couldn't believe that something like this was so easy to come by over here. I wondered what their privacy laws were and how they stood on the use of wire taps. That made me realize that I had no idea what any of the laws were in any of the countries I was going to be visiting over the next for months. I had better be extra cautious. I picked up a disposable phone and called my mom.

"Hey mom, it's me. Listen, I can't really talk."

"Ok. How are things going with the tour?"

"They are good, but my phone won't work. This is a disposable with limited minutes. I'm sending you my phone. When you get it, check my messages and take care of everything you can. I'll call you when I get a chance, to see if you need me, but I really don't want to discuss anything private. The lines here are not secure."

"I understand, dear."

The driver honked his horn and tapped his wrist watch. "Mom, I have to go. Will you check to see how the other bands from the tour are doing?"

"I sure will. Talk to you later, dear. Be careful."

"I will. I love you mom."

I hung up the phone. I didn't really give a shit how Mike and the guys were doing, but I couldn't come right out and ask mom to call Bella for me. I'm sure someone would make a big deal out of that. Even though it felt like I big deal to me already, I wasn't sure how she would feel about the press getting wind of it.

Second A/N: Ok, what do you think so far? Edward really does miss her and Bella is thinking about adopting a little girl from Florida.

I don't know if you remember my author's not a few weeks back about listening to local performers… Well the song for today is from Maggy Adeleye. She is a local performer here. She is a college student that is struggling to make it in the music industry. She is a really nice person and I love her voice. She is incredible live.

To hear the song and see the video that my beta made, log onto the YouTube playlist. The link is posted on my profile page.

Ok, I'm off for now. I hope you have a great week.