Run and Hide
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm just borrowing the characters for a while and I promise to give them back later on.
A/N: Thanks to all for reading and for your thoughtful reviews! :) I appreciate it. :)
Okay, so I've decided that I should stop dragging my feet and get this posted, even if I'm scared to do it. Warning - you may need a tissue. -_-
Chapter 9
Danny sat in the waiting room, staring at his feet. He still wore his vest; there were stains on his sleeves, both from the dirt when he was wrestling with Jake and from Jamie's blood. His father and Jackie had been detained a little longer because of having fired their weapons but the investigation wouldn't take long. Jackie had declined Danny's offer to wait for her and drive her to the hospital; she insisted that this should be family time and she didn't want to intrude, so Danny drove up alone. He pulled his phone, his hand shaking. Swallowing nervously, he dialed his grandfather.
Henry picked up after only one ring.
"Hello?"
"You were sitting on the phone, weren't you?"
"Well, what do you expect, Danny?" Henry muttered. "Are you and Francis okay? Did you find Jamie? Is… is he okay?" Henry stuttered the last bit, his voice going quiet with worry.
"We're okay, Gramps. We found Jamie, too…" Danny trailed off, his throat tightening.
Henry's heart thundered upon hearing Danny's hesitation. "Danny… what's wrong with him?"
"It's… it's more what isn't wrong with him… I've seen a lot, but that…" Danny's voice cut off as a sob threatened to break lose. "They tortured him…"
Henry sunk down onto the couch, his legs unable to hold him up. He gripped the phone tightly, hearing the plastic creaking in his hand. "I have to come down there, I need… I need to see my grandson…"
"Grandpa, you can't drive like this… you sound like you're going to pass out. I have to phone Linda and Erin… I'll get Linda to pick you and Erin up and bring you here."
"Just hurry, Danny."
Danny listened, stunned, to the sudden departure of his grandfather. The dial tone buzzed in his ear, reminding him to hang up. He quickly dialed Linda.
"Hello?"
"Babe… we found Jamie… he's not doing well." Danny muttered, tears filling his eyes as he heard his wife's voice. He heard her sudden intake of breath.
"Is… will he be okay?" she asked, her voice shaking.
Danny ran a hand through his hair. "God, I hope so, but I just… I really don't know, Lin."
"He's a fighter, Danny. He'll fight through this." Linda assured him.
"I know. You're right, babe." Danny replied, trying to sound confident. "Look, I need you to pick up Erin and my grandfather, okay? Don't bring the boys… they shouldn't see him like this. Let Nicki look after them."
"Alright, but they want to see their uncle too, you know."
"I know, Lin… but he's not in good shape. Let's give it a few days first…"
Linda paused. "Okay, Danny. If you think that's best." she replied softly. "I'll see you soon."
"Bye, Lin."
Danny slowly closed his phone, hesitating to call his sister. She had been hounding him several times a day, every day to see how close he was in finding Jamie, until he finally snapped and said that he would call her the next time something came up. He hadn't. This would be the first time she'd heard his voice in two full days… and it was to tell her that her baby brother may not live to see the next sunrise. He sighed tearfully, finally punching in her number.
"Hello?"
"Nicki?"
"Uncle Danny? Where are you? Is Uncle Jamie okay?"
"Nic, I really need to talk to your mother. Could you please put her on?"
"Okay, but is Uncle Jamie…"
"He'll… he's okay. Please, put your mother on?"
"Sure." Nicki replied, her voice telling him exactly what she thought of him at that moment, and that she didn't believe a word he said. He could hear her talking to Erin in the background.
"She's upset with you."
"I could tell."
"So am I."
"I can tell…" he trailed off. "I'm sorry, Erin. I didn't mean to hurt you… I just... it was too much pressure, you know? He's my baby brother too, and I was doing the best I could and you hounding me wasn't helping anything."
"I know, Danny. I'm sorry, I should have just let you work. I know you were doing your best. You've found him, right?"
"Yes… we're at the hospital now."
"Is he going to be okay?"
Danny paused, unsure of what to say. "I don't know, Erin. I really don't. They're still working on him now… but he just didn't look good when we got to him."
Erin choked back a sob. "I'm coming down there…"
"I've got Linda coming for you. She'll leave the boys with Nicki and then you two need to pick up Gramps… he's probably tearing his hair out by now."
"Shouldn't the kids see their uncle, Danny? Especially if…" she trailed off.
"If… if it comes to that, we'll gather them. Right now, it's just better that they don't see him. It's really bad, Erin…"
"Okay… Nicki's not going to take this very well, you know. I'll blame you, okay?"
A ghost of a smiled lifted Danny's lips. "Do whatever you have to do, Erin. Linda should be there soon."
"I'll see you soon, Danny." she replied, hanging up.
Danny stuffed his phone back into his pocket, paying no attention. He leaned back in the chair, his eyes closing.
"Danny?"
His eyes shot open again, landing on his father, who was also still wearing his vest. "Dad, how'd it go?"
"Cut and dry, nothing to it." his father answered, waving it off. "How's Jamie doing?"
"They're still working on him." Danny paused, looking down. "Dad… they nearly lost him on the way here. One of the EMT's told me as they were leaving. They got him back immediately… but it was close. Too close."
Frank sat, running his hand over his face, body weary and eyes tired and stinging. "He's gone through a lot. His body has gone through a lot… it doesn't surprise me that it would try to shut down…"
Danny stared at a spot on the wall. He knew his father was right, but it pained him to hear it. His normally strong brother losing his fight… the thought tore at his soul.
"Dad! Danny!"
"Francis!"
Danny immediately stood, catching Linda in his arms. She hugged him tightly as he buried his face into her hair.
Frank caught Erin in a tight hug, reaching over her shoulder to give Henry's shoulder a squeeze. "We got him, Pop. Like we promised." Henry gave him a watery smile.
"Where is he? Are they still working on him?" Erin asked tearfully.
"Yes." Danny replied. "He's been in there for over two hours…"
A tense silence hung over the family. Danny caught his father's eye, who nodded.
"Um…" Danny started nervously.
"What is it, honey?" Linda asked, still stroking the back of his head tenderly.
"You should know, just so it isn't a surprise… they lost him in the ambulance on the way here…"
There was a stunned pause, broken only by the sob Erin couldn't hold back. Henry stared at his feet, eyes watering. Linda just held Danny tighter.
"They brought him back right away… but it's touch and go…"
"What happened to him?" Henry asked, his voice barely audible.
"Grandpa, I don't think…"
"Danny, I have to know!" Henry spoke, his voice harsh. Danny stared at him, worried, until Frank nodded at him to continue. Danny sighed, still not liking the idea.
"The bastards tortured him." Danny ground out through clenched teeth, hearing the shocked gasps from his wife, sister and grandfather. His father was staring at the ground, eyes watering.
"Taser, definitely." Henry spit out. Danny nodded.
"Looked like a knife was used at some point. It also looked like he had recently been whipped…" he stopped, hearing his sister start crying. "Erin…"
"Continue, Danny…" she sobbed. "Grandpa wants to know…"
Henry looked ashamed beneath his tears. "No… don't continue, Danny. It was wrong of me to ask in the first place." He pulled his granddaughter into a hug. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I should have just waited until he was alone before I asked."
Another subdued silence followed, each member of the family staring off into space.
~~BB~~
He could hear voices… were they talking to him? They seemed to be asking questions… noises buzzed around him…
He tried to cringe away from something that was poking his skin but his body wouldn't respond… tears pricked at his eyes… he just wanted to move...
Why couldn't he open his eyes?
He wanted to cry, to yell at them to stop, but he was trapped in his own mind…
No one could hear him…
No one could see the pain…
~~BB~~
Danny's head shot up as an exhausted looking doctor stepped out from the emergency room doors. He nodded at them.
"Reagan family?"
They immediately stood. "How is he?" Frank snapped out. He'd been getting more and more agitated as the hours wore on.
The doctor put up his hand. "He's stable, but he's not out of the woods yet. We had to perform emergency surgery on him. He had several cracked ribs, two broken. One had pierced his lung, which was why he was struggling to breathe when he was brought in. Thankfully it wasn't punctured, so it wasn't too hard to repair. It will heal over time. We're going to keep him on a ventilator to ease the pressure on his lungs. He's breathing fairly well on his own, though, so this is just precautionary. It will give his lung time to heal. We've set the broken ribs, and they too will heal. We'll keep them wrapped. The numerous cuts were fairly shallow, only a few needed a couple of stitches. The welts we have to keep an eye on as most turned into open wounds. He's at a very great risk of infection. His head wound was already infected, but we cleaned it up and will keep an eye on it. There is some deep muscle bruising that will heal slowly. He's lost a lot of blood, so we're putting him on transfusions until his red cell count is back up. There was some minor kidney damage to his right kidney, due to physical abuse and he's very dehydrated, but I'm confident that will heal as well. We're giving him lots of fluids to flush his system, and we'll be watching closely." The doctor paused, giving the stunned family a sympathetic look. "I understand he flat lined in the ambulance?"
Danny listened to the doctor in a daze. He could hear both Erin and Linda trying to muffle their tears, but his focus was on the words the doctor was telling them. He nodded, still feeling stunned, to confirm.
The doctor sighed. "It was less than a minute from what the paramedics tell me, and he has good brain activity, but only when he wakes will we be able to tell if there is any resounding damage. It is likely that his memory will be fuzzy, and it is always possible that he'll suffer from minor short term memory loss, though therapy can help him regain some of it back." The doctor gave them another sympathetic look. "He's been through hell, and I am amazed at his strength. I can tell he's a fighter. Though his body is weak, don't give up hope. Just don't expect a miracle, either. It could go either way at this point."
Frank nodded, dazed. "When can we see him?"
"He's in recovery. I'll let one of you in, but everyone else is going to have to wait until we can move him into a private room. We'll see where we're at in a few hours. Is there someone who wants to go in?"
"Dad, you go." Danny spoke immediately. He had been watching his father, unnoticed. His heart broke as every minute went by; the wait was killing them all, but his father was breaking. He wouldn't rest until he had seen his youngest son.
"No Danny, you should…"
"Dad, Danny is right." Erin interrupted. Henry and Linda nodded in agreement. "Go. You need to see him, and he needs you even if he isn't awake yet."
Frank nodded slowly. He was torn between the urge to run past the doctor into the recovery room or to run out the exit instead. The fear ate at him, but he knew the need to see his boy would win out. He stood, approaching the doctor. "Take me to my son."
~~BB~~
Frank stood in the doorway of the recovery room. There had to be a mistake. There was no way that broken man was his son… the pale man, hooked up to monitors that beeped quietly, IV's that dripped life-saving liquids into his veins, the tube running from the machine behind the bed that forced air into his lungs…
Frank took a shuddering breath and slowly stepped closer until he was standing at the edge of the bed. He stared at the angry red welts that ran across Jamie's chest, disappearing beneath the tightly wrapped bandage protecting his ribs, the bandage that ran down the middle of his chest, covering the cut that the surgeon had to make, the one that would likely leave the biggest scar. Cuts covered his skin, some tiny and already scabbed, a few larger and deeper, the visible stitching standing out on his pale skin. His left wrist was bandaged, hiding the cut that had scared Frank the most, the one that wouldn't stop bleeding…
Frank leaned over, placing a gentle kiss on his youngest child's forehead. He carefully took his hand, avoiding the needles, afraid of disrupting the liquid that was saving his son's life. "Jamie…" he murmured softly. "Don't leave us, son… keep fighting. We're all here with you. We love you, Jamie. Hold on to us… we're not leaving you." He heard a sound, turning to the door. The doctor was back, watching sympathetically but also motioning for him to leave. His time had already run out. "I have to go, son, but I'll be back. You just keep fighting." He leaned down to give his son's forehead another kiss, briefly placing his own forehead on his son's. It worried him that his skin was already too warm. He brushed his fingers against his cheek before reluctantly turning to follow the doctor out of the room.
~~BB~~
What was that? It was so familiar… a deep voice, calming... his jumbled nerves easing…
Something gentle brushed his face. He wanted to turn into it but couldn't make his head move. He settled for concentrating on the sensation instead. He wanted to whimper when the feeling moved away, but something was blocking his throat…
Tears pricked at his eyes when all he heard was silence…
~~BB~~
Danny sat at his brother's bedside, the hours slipping away. Jamie had been moved into a private room several hours after he had been operated on. He was being watched closely, the doctor assigned to him checking in on him at least a couple of times per hour, if not more often. The nurses were constantly in and out of the room. For the first time since they had found him, Danny was grateful that Jamie wasn't just sleeping as there would be absolutely no rest for him with the constant traffic in and out of his room.
Except that it had already been two days since then.
He stared at Jamie until his eyes stung and he was forced to blink. He couldn't keep his eyes off the bandage on his head, the cuts on his chest, the bruise on the left side of his face. His anger grew looking at each injury… the more he stared, the more he wished he had taken care of Jake himself. He sighed; there was no use getting angry. Jake was dead, the others arrested. They would be put away for a long time. There was nothing more to be done except concentrate on his brother.
Jamie had been taken off of the ventilator a day ago. He had been breathing normally on his own, the repaired lung having already started healing with the eased pressure and little exertion. The visible bruises were turning from a deep blue to a purple under his skin. The welts were still an angry inflamed red.
Danny sighed, leaning forward in an attempt to stretch out the muscles in his back. He placed his head in his hands, running his fingers through his hair. His eyes closed involuntarily; he'd only gotten a few hours of sleep over the last few days.
A small sound woke him from his doze. Tiredly, he glanced up. His head shot up, his tired brain telling him he was seeing things. Jamie's hand was slowly moving, fingers twitching. He quickly looked at his brother's face. Jamie's eyes were open, tired lids threatening to close again. He twitched his hand again, staring unfocused at his brother. Danny quickly grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Jamie…" Danny breathed, relieved. "Jamie, thank God…" he trailed off, the look in his brother's eyes scaring him. They were full of pain and fear. "Jamie, it's okay buddy, you're safe now. They can't hurt you anymore. We've got you…" he stared, his concern increasing as Jamie gave a small shake of his head, his eyes damp. "Jamie, what is it? Are you in pain? Should I get the nurse?"
Jamie's tired eyes won their fight, his lids closing as he once again fell into sleep. Danny stared at him, stunned. What had just happened? Had he imagined the whole thing, his sleepy brain showing him his brother, awake and mostly alert? All he had wanted was for his brother to wake up; maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.
A small sound behind him made him turn. The nurse gave him a small smile as she made her way over to Jamie's side.
"Um… I think he woke up, just a minute ago." Danny mumbled softly. "His eyes were open, and he squeezed my hand." Danny indicated the hand he still held. The nurse gave him a sympathetic smile, easily seeing through his brave façade.
"It's to be expected, Mr. Reagan. We expect him to fade in and out of consciousness, at least for a few days. His body and mind are still healing. I'll get the doctor, though, just to check up on him."
"Thank you." Danny replied gratefully. He watched at the nurse adjusted IV lines and checked monitors, jotting things down on his chart. She checked the pulse in his left wrist, making another note. He glanced at her, amused, when she ran the back of her hand over his forehead. He was sure that somehow, even in his unconscious state, he had managed to charm over this young nurse. He closed his mouth, the snarky comment gone, when he took in the look on her face. Her eyes were concerned, her brows furrowed in concentration. She glanced at him, pushing her face back into her usual mask.
"It's okay, Mr. Reagan."
"Please, call me Danny. We've seen a lot of each other these last few days."
She smiled. "Okay, Danny. I'm just going to get the doctor, okay?"
"What's wrong?"
The nurse hesitated. "He's a bit warm. It's just precautionary." she assured him.
Danny nodded, that familiar feeling of dread making its way back into his chest. His brother's fight still wasn't over.
~~BB~~
Images meshed together, conversations and words jumbled into one solid noise. He knew people were talking to him, but he couldn't answer…
The pain was excruciating… his body was on fire, every touch a hot poker to his skin. He wanted to yell, but he couldn't use his voice…
Something cool entered his body, only adding to the pain…
~~BB~~
Danny waited outside of Jamie's room with the rest of his anxious family, his heart pounding in his chest. The doctor had entered while he was still there, shooed him out, and then had stayed in there for the last twenty minutes. The nurse had followed him in, only to leave again a few minutes later. He barely heard his family pestering him to tell them what had happened.
"He opened his eyes…" Danny mumbled, answered only by silence.
"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Frank shot out, annoyance breaking over worry. "He woke up and you didn't think of telling us?"
"Dad, it was so brief that I thought I had imagined the whole thing!" Danny defended himself as Erin placed a comforting hand on her father's arm. "I had dozed off and heard a sound. His hand was moving, and when I looked up, his eyes were open. Definitely unfocused, but open. They were…" he trailed off, remembering the look in his brother's eyes.
"They were what?" Henry pressed.
"They were full of fear and pain." Danny mumbled. "I don't know why. He wouldn't speak to me… but it felt like he was trying to communicate." He looked at his father helplessly. "Then he fell asleep again."
"Is that why the doctor's in there, because Jamie woke up?" Erin asked. Danny shook his head, exhaustion pushing down on him again.
"No. The nurse thought he felt too warm." he replied, looking up anxiously as the doctor left Jamie's room.
"We were afraid of infection." The doctor started. "Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, some of his wounds have become infected, and he's dealing with a fever. I've started antibiotics to help fight the infection. We'll use ice packs if his fever goes up." The doctor gave them a tired look. "We're still doing everything we can."
"Thank you, doctor." Frank sighed wearily. "Can we see him?"
"Yes, you can go in. He might wake up again, but like the last time, it will likely be brief. His body is still healing, and the infection is going to delay that." The doctor nodded at them, then left.
Danny sighed. "Dad, you go in. I've got to step out for a minute, get some air."
"Of course, son. Take your time." Frank shot his oldest a concerned look. He knew that he hadn't slept much over the last few days and it was starting to show. He tried to insist that Danny go home and get some sleep, but it was like talking to a brick wall. He had only gone home once to shower and change. He'd been back in less than an hour. He didn't need another son in the hospital, but even Linda couldn't make him see reason. He insisted on staying.
Danny knew that he should go home and get some rest, but he just couldn't kick the feeling that Jamie needed him. He'd feel horrible if he left and Jamie needed him to be there. He also didn't want his brother waking up alone… or rather, waking up without him there. He knew it was selfish, but he didn't want to miss a minute. He passed by his father on the way out. His father stopped him, drawing him into a hug.
"You've been an amazing brother to him, Danny. Don't ever question that." Frank told him quietly. Danny swallowed hard, pulling back from his father. He gave him a watery smile.
"Thanks, Dad."
Frank squeezed his shoulder before heading into Jamie's room. Danny sighed again before heading outside into the cool evening air.
~~BB~~
Something touched the top of his head, something light and feathery. It reminded of the times when he was sick and his father would brush his fingers through his hair to comfort him.
He heard a soft, deep rumbling voice… he couldn't make out the words, but he was sure that it was his father. The sound comforted him…
For a few moments, the fiery pain was gone…
~~BB~~
Frank stared down at his son, worry coursing through him. Jamie was warmer than before, a light flush spread over his cheeks, his skin clammy. Small tremors would occasionally run through his limbs as if he were fighting something off.
"Jamie…" Frank murmured, running his fingers through Jamie's hair. "It's okay, son. Just relax, I'm here."
Jamie seemed to listen, the tension in his body easing and a peaceful look crossing his face. Frank couldn't stop the tears from filling his eyes.
"Jamie, if I could have done something differently… if I could have made you stay that night instead of letting you go off alone… I'm sorry, Jamie. I let you go when I could have helped you. Instead of finding yourself, you found your own personal hell… it shouldn't have been this way Jamie. It should never end this way…" Frank trailed off glancing towards his son. He jumped as he saw his son's eyes staring back at him, feverish and watery, but focused directly on his. "Jamie!" he choked out, giving his forehead a kiss. "You're awake! Do you feel okay? Should I get the nurse?"
Jamie's eyes watered as he weakly lifted his hand. Frank grasped it tightly in his own, wiping his son's tears with his free hand.
"It's okay, son, you don't need to worry anymore."
"…not your… fault…" Jamie whispered hoarsely. "I… love you…"
Frank's eyes watered. "I love you, Jamie. We all do. We're all here for you."
A small smile touched Jamie's lips as he fell into a deep slumber, his grip on his father's hand relaxing. Frank ran his hand through his son's hair once more before taking his leave.
~~BB~~
"Dad, it's been two days since he last opened his eyes. Two since he talked to you. Why is he getting worse?"
Frank shook his head. "I don't know, Danny. I really don't."
They were the only two in the waiting room. Erin had to get back to work and Linda had taken Henry home to get some rest. They would be back later that evening. Both Frank and Danny had taken a leave of absence from work to stay with Jamie.
The doctor bustled out of Jamie's room, looking harried.
"Doc, that look isn't helping." Danny grumbled. "What's happening to him?"
"His fever is getting worse. The medication isn't working. The infection is getting into his bloodstream and attacking his organs… we need to cool him down and get this under control. We're going to give him an ice bath and increase the antibiotics."
"I need to be in there." Frank stuttered, his voice thick.
"No, Sir… we're moving him to the ICU… he's having more difficulty breathing. There's fluid building up in his lungs that we need to drain. We may need to put him back on the ventilator."
Danny stared at the doctor. "I thought he was getting better…"
The doctor gave him a look of sympathy. "He was, Danny. We clean his wounds carefully on a regular basis and most are healing as expected, but a few are a lot worse than others and I believe that's where the infection started. The conditions he started in weren't sterile, and bacteria could have been easily introduced. We can still fight this… but we need to act fast. We're moving him now."
"Then we're following." Frank stated, his tone leaving no room for argument. "We'll stay out of the room, but we're not leaving him."
The doctor nodded. "Okay, just stay as quiet as you can. There are other patients in there that need rest."
They agreed, their hearts thumping as Jamie was wheeled out of his room on a stretcher. His skin was a flushed-pink colour, damp with sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead. His face was tense with pain and fever. They hurried after him, Danny making a mental note to call Linda to tell her what was going on.
They reached the ICU, the doctor motioning them to a private waiting room. "I'll be with you as soon as I can. This room is closest to the one we'll be placing him in."
"Thank you, doctor." Frank piped up before Danny could protest. Danny strode over to the window.
"I don't get it, Dad!" he stormed out. "Why can't we be in there with him? He needs us to be there!"
"Danny," Frank placated. "The doctor needs us out of the way so he can do his work. Just give him some time."
Danny collapsed down onto the couch, leaning back and scrubbing his hands over his face. He sighed. "I can't stand this, Dad." he mumbled. Frank sat beside him.
"I know, son. I can't either, but it's not in our control."
"I've got to phone Linda."
"Go, Danny. I'll phone Erin and Pops."
Danny nodded and stood up. He made his way out of the waiting room back down to the first floor where he could use his cellphone.
Frank picked up the land line phone located in the waiting room. He dialed his daughter's office number. She picked up after three rings.
"Erin Reagan-Boyle." she greeted, sounding out of breath.
"Did I interrupt you, sweetheart?"
"Dad? No, I was just down the hall and heard the phone ring. Is there something wrong? Is Jamie okay?"
Frank sighed wearily. "Honey… they've moved him up to ICU."
"What? What happened? Is he going to be okay?" she asked, her voice frantic.
"The infection's gotten worse and his fever has spiked. There's fluid building up on his lungs. They're afraid they'll have to put him back on the ventilator if his breathing worsens."
"Dad…"
"It's okay, honey… they're doing everything they can." Frank soothed, trying to convince himself just as much as her.
"I'm coming back up."
"Your clients won't be happy about that."
"I only have one right now, and he's not here to care. I'll be there as soon as I can."
Frank smiled slightly. "See you soon, Erin."
He hung up, taking a shaky breath before dialing his own home number.
"Francis?"
"Hi, Pop. How did you know?"
"With everything going on, I'm not expecting anyone else. What happened?"
Frank sighed shakily. "They've moved Jamie up into the ICU. It's become harder for him to breathe as there is fluid building up on his lungs. They need to drain it off. The infection is getting worse and his fever is spiking. They're having a hard time getting it under control."
"Francis, I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Wait for Linda, Pop. Danny's phoning her right now."
"Alright, Francis, but she'd better hurry this time!"
Frank stared at the phone, now producing a dial tone. He'd never known his father to be so abrupt. If he wasn't careful, he would end up in the hospital, too.
Danny wandered back in. "I've phoned Linda. She's going to phone Gramps and pick him up again. Did you let him know?"
"Yes. I've phoned Erin, too. She'll be here soon."
Danny nodded, sitting back down onto the couch. He shared a look with his father.
"Do you think this nightmare will ever end, Dad? Is it ever going to get better?"
Frank wanted to say something comforting to his son, but he couldn't find the words. He could only shake his head sadly, shrugging, the same fear that was in Danny's eyes mirrored in his own.
~~BB~~
He didn't know what was happening. First, he was too warm, now it felt like he'd been encased in a block of ice… he shivered, moaning, trying to pull away…
Hazy images floated in front of him, but he couldn't make out the shapes. Someone was talking to him, trying to get his attention, but all he could hear was gibberish. Why wasn't anything making sense?
The fire was back, worse than ever because of the cold… he moaned again, trying to move away… he felt something restraining him, or someone… he could hear the gibberish again… why couldn't they just leave him alone?
He whimpered. "Dad…" he mumbled, not even able to make out his own words.
He went limp, tears threatening. "Danny… help me…"
~~BB~~
The entire family was sitting in the waiting room, minus the children, when the doctor came back. He looked surprised to see them all, but greeted them tiredly. They stood as soon as he entered.
"Is Jamie okay? What's happening to him?" Danny burst out, the tension finally getting to him. The doctor put his hand up, signalling for quiet.
"He's stable. We've cleared his lungs, and we're hoping they'll stay clear. The ice bath did bring down his temperature a bit, but I don't know if it will last. The infection is still raging. I've started a higher dose of a stronger antibiotic."
"What happens if…" Henry paused, glancing at his family. "If you can't get the infection under control."
"It could result in serious organ damage, attacking the kidney's first. If that happens, we'll start dialysis, but I warn you… if it gets that bad, there is a good chance he won't make it. That's why we need to fight this hard starting now."
The family grew silent, not even daring to look at each other. The doctor nodded sympathetically.
"I'm sorry. I wish I had better news. It's a waiting game now. Let's hope he'll go the other way and be able to fight off the infection."
"Can we see him?" Frank asked quietly.
"Yes, but keep it to one at a time." The doctor nodded again, then quietly left.
~~BB~~
It was so dark… he couldn't understand why no one came for him… why didn't they want to see him? He heard nothing, felt nothing… dark shadows moved around him but he couldn't make anything out…
"Leave me alone…"
The shadows moved closer, examining him… he tried to get away, but he couldn't move… wanted to roll over, but something prevented him…
At least the dark was keeping away the fire…
~~BB~~
Danny stared tiredly at his father who was sitting on the other side of the waiting room, attempting to read. Danny noticed that he had been staring at the same page of the magazine for the last fifteen minutes.
"Dad?"
"Yes, Danny?"
"How was he when you saw him?"
Frank looked over at his father and Erin, both of whom were sleeping in the chairs by the window. Linda had stretched out on the couch where Danny was sitting and had fallen asleep an hour ago. It was four in the morning.
"Still feverish, but I think he was better than earlier."
Danny nodded. Jamie had been in the ICU for two days. The fever hadn't gotten worse, but it was taking a long time to go down, which worried the doctor. He compared it to boiling internally the longer the fever stayed. They'd even tried sweating it out to no avail. He had been put on a high dose of oxygen, but the doctor indicated that the ventilator might be next as Jamie blood oxygen level was low and dropping even more. Jamie had been restless, pain and fatigue written clearly over his face.
"Dad, how long do you think he can keep this up?" Danny asked, worry leaching out of him.
"I don't know, son." Frank murmured. "It's getting harder and harder to watch knowing that I can't do a damned thing to help."
"We can only be there for him, Dad. We just have to let him know we're there." Danny replied softly. "I'm going to go in for a bit, okay? I won't stay long, I just need to see him."
Frank nodded. "That's fine, Danny. Tell him we love him."
Danny nodded, disappearing out of the waiting room. Frank swallowed heavily, a nervous feeling in his stomach.
~~BB~~
Danny couldn't explain it, but he just had this feeling that Jamie needed him. He slowly entered Jamie's darkened room, the only light from the dimmed fluorescent above his bed. He could hear the oxygen humming, set at its highest point. Any higher and Jamie would need the ventilator. Danny slowly sat down on the chair by Jamie's bed, gently taking his hand. His skin was still warm to the touch.
"Jamie, I'm here, buddy…" Danny murmured, not sure why he was even saying it. To his surprise, Jamie's eyes cracked open at his voice. "Jamie? Hi, kid… do you need anything?"
~~BB~~
The dark closed in around him… he whimpered, wanting someone friendly…
A small pinprick of light shone to his right.
Danny…
~~BB~~
"Jamie?" Danny asked, concern filling him as he watched his brother's eyes fill with tears. Jamie lifted a weak hand towards his mask, gesturing for it to be removed. "No, Jamie, you need the oxygen. It's helping you…" he stopped Jamie's hand from removing it. "Please, buddy, leave it on…" His heart squeezed when a few tears rolled down Jamie's cheeks.
~~BB~~
Jamie wanted to cry… he wanted to talk to him…
To tell him…
Why couldn't he just understand?
~~BB~~
Danny's throat clogged at the pain on Jamie's face, the desperation he could see radiating from him. He reached over to grasp his hand. Jamie held on tightly, keeping his eyes on his brother's. Once more, he reached for the mask. Danny sighed.
"Okay, Jamie, just for a minute." he agreed reluctantly, reaching over to remove the mask. "What is it, buddy? What do you need?"
~~BB~~
He needed relief…
He needed to be free…
~~BB~~
"I need… to rest…."
"Well, yeah, that's what I thought you were doing." Danny told him, confused.
~~BB~~
Danny could be such an ass sometimes…
~~BB~~
"Jamie?" Danny asked again, watching his brother nearly fall asleep. "Buddy, you need to rest, just like you said. I don't know why you had to tell me that?"
Jamie's eyes opened again, still swimming with tears. Danny carefully wiped them away, fear tugging at his heart. Jamie's breathing was becoming ragged. Danny tried to place the mask back on his face, but Jamie just pushed it off again.
"Jamie, you've got to leave this on…"
"Please…"
"What is it, Jamie? What do you need?" Danny asked. His brother was seriously starting to scare him. Jamie's eyes were pleading with him.
~~BB~~
He just needed to understand!
The shadows were still moving around him…
The fire was coming back…
~~BB~~
"Let me go…"
"I'm not… holding… you…" Danny stuttered, his heart thundering. "Jamie, what's going on?" He had a strong sinking feeling…
"I love you… tell them…"
"Jamie…" Danny said, starting to stand. Jamie grabbed his arm.
"Tell them… I love them…"
"Jamie, what are you going on about?" Danny tried, nervously reaching for the call button.
~~BB~~
The darkness was closing in…
He was floating…
~~BB~~
"Jamie? Jamie!" Danny cried out, trying to get his brother's attention.
Jamie took another shuddering breath, gripping Danny's hand. "I need to… rest… I love… you…"
"Jamie!"
~~BB~~
I'm sorry… I love you, brother…
I'll always be there…
~~BB~~
Danny frantically pressed the call button, still trying to get his brother's attention. He placed the mask on his face once again, hoping that would help. He watched helplessly as his eyes slid closed…
"Jamie… no, you can't do this… I won't let you!"
Jamie squeezed his hand, keeping his grip tight.
"Not after everything we've been through!"
~~BB~~
I can't stay… I'm sorry…
It's getting too dark…
~~BB~~
"I can't do this again!"
Danny didn't even realize he was sobbing until a tear drop hit the blanket covering Jamie. He pressed the call button again, watching the heart monitor.
"Jamie, you hear me? I can't do this again… I can't let you go…"
~~BB~~
You have to…
I want to go…
~~BB~~
Danny went numb…
His breath caught in his throat…
~~BB~~
I love you...
~~BB~~
Jamie's grip slackened. Tears fell unbidden from Danny's eyes. He shook his head silently as the monitor slowed…
"Jamie! Jamie, no… please, you can't… you have to stay!"
He barely noticed the hands trying to push him out of the room as he fought against them. He barely noticed the room filling with doctors and nurses…
He only saw his baby brother…
~~BB~~
Jamie floated, feeling a sense of peace…
The figures still moved around him, but they weren't unfriendly…
He welcomed them.
Blackness engulfed him.
~~BB~~
"Jamie!"
"Danny, you need to leave!"
"Doc, he's…"
"Get him out of here!" the doctor shouted to a couple of nurses.
More hands tried to push him out. Another set of hands pulled on him. He tried to fight against them, but his weakened body sunk to the floor. He felt a strong set of arms wrap around him, pulling him up and guiding him into the hallway. More hands and arms surrounded him…
He could only focus on the man in the room…
~~BB~~
I love you…
~~TBC~~
A/N 2: Don't label me a cold hearted you-know-what just yet - I won't leave you hanging as long this time. ;) That is, if I have any readers left after this... (O_o)