Run and Hide
Disclaimer: Don't own anything, like usual.
A/N: Well, I did say I wouldn't leave you hanging for quite as long, didn't I? ^_^
I realize that there are parts of this chapter that may offend some people, depending on what you believe. What I have written is what I like to think happens, but it is only one possibility. Just keep an open mind. :)
I should also say that I just don't like the end of this one. It's farfetched and unrealistic, about as unrealistic as the people in various shows and movies cutting a perfect little hole in a pane of glass and using a suction cup to take out the cut part, leaving every piece perfectly intact. It doesn't happen. LOL Everything I tried to do to change/ "fix" it made it worse, so I left it. Bah.
Thanks for reading! :)
Chapter 10
"This… can't be happening…" Danny choked out, staring into his brother's room from the hallway. His father had followed the commotion and had pulled him from the room; he now stood holding his oldest son, the tears flowing down his cheeks. His grandfather, Erin, and Linda had followed a short time later, and were standing behind them, stunned and trying to control their tears.
Danny tried to struggle against his father, wanting to go back into the room. "Jamie… I can't do this again… let me go, I need to get to him!"
"Danny, you can't… let them work…" Frank choked out, shaking with nerves and fear.
'You can't take him, not now. Not my boy!'
~~BB~~
Jamie opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. He was standing in what looked like a forest clearing. There was a shining lake nearby. He smiled at the feeling of peace. He looked down at himself… he was clothed and felt perfectly happy. Not a scar or a bandage to be seen.
He looked around. He had been hoping that someone would be there…
"Jamie."
He whipped around. Standing at the edge of the trees was a figure, slightly taller than him. He wore a familiar playful smirk. Jamie stared, stunned.
"Joe? Joe, is that you?"
Joe's face broke out into a grin as he practically flew over to his brother, engulfing him in a hug.
"Joe!" Jamie choked out, laughing and hugging his brother tightly. "I never thought I'd get to see you again… I missed you, brother!"
"I missed you too, kiddo." Joe smiled, ruffling his hair like he used to do when he was younger.
"Does this mean… am I dead?"
"Not quite, little brother. You still have a choice to make, but you're running out of time."
"What do you mean?"
"You can stay here, or you can go back. But if you don't choose soon, you'll be stuck here."
"Is it that bad?" Jamie laughed. Joe smiled.
"No, it's amazing actually. You're just not ready yet. You're not supposed to be here."
"But… I had to, I couldn't hold on. I didn't want to hold on."
"No, and that's your choice. You went through a lot, kiddo." Joe said, his voice sounding sad.
"You knew?"
"I was always there, Jamie. I'm always there when you need me most. It killed me that I couldn't stop them, that I couldn't help you."
Jamie looked sad at first, before a funny look crossed his face. "Wait… you're always there…"
Joe laughed. "When you need me most. It's not like I follow you into the shower, kid. I'm not creepy."
Jamie blushed. "I know that, dork."
Joe ruffled his hair again. "I'm there for all of you when you need me. So is Mom."
"Mom? Where is she?" Jamie asked, hope filling him.
"She's not here, kid. She said you're not ready, but if you make the choice to stay, she'll come see you. But she doesn't want that. Not yet."
Jamie looked down. "But I want to stay with you… I want to see Mom again…"
"I know, kiddo, but we'll still be here when you are ready. We aren't leaving you." Jamie looked like he wanted to argue. "Wait, Jamie… you need to see this…" Joe said, beckoning him over to the water's edge. Jamie followed him curiously. He stared into the water, seeing only his reflection…
The water rippled and he found himself staring at the scene in the hospital. He could see himself as the doctors and nurses worked on him, trying to bring him back. He stared out at the hallway where his family stood. Erin and Linda held each other, tears rolling down their faces. Erin's knees gave out as she sank to the floor. Linda followed, guiding her down. His grandfather stood off to the side, his arms held tightly across his chest, tears running down his face. His father stood with his arms around Danny, who struggled against him.
Danny… Jamie's own eyes prickled with tears as he watched the tears flow unashamedly from his brother's. He heard him pleading with him to stay…
"He did the same with me." Joe broke in softly. "He may act like a real bastard sometimes, but he has trouble letting go. He loves you, kiddo, even if he has trouble saying it."
"He was always beating me up…"
Joe smirked. "Yeah, well… you were the bratty little brother who liked to get into his things."
Jamie smiled back. "Now sometimes I wish he would stay out of mine."
Joe laughed. "He just worries over you. He was so proud the day you graduated. So was I. So was Mom."
"She didn't want me to become a cop in the first place…"
"No, but she knew it was where you belonged. Where you still belong…"
"I have to go back, don't I?" Jamie asked, turning to his brother.
"The choice is still up to you." Joe told him. "Are you ready to leave them?"
Jamie turned back to the water, watching his family. He knew they'd be okay in the end. They all would be. He turned back to his brother.
"I know what I have to do." he replied, giving his brother another hug.
Joe smiled at him, his form starting to fade. "I love you, Jamie. I'll see you again."
"I love you too, Joe. I'll see you…"
"Just don't make it so soon next time!" Joe said, fading completely. His infectious laugh could be heard quivering through the air. Jamie smiled. He turned towards the darkened trees and took a deep breath…
He felt himself engulfed in darkness once more… he felt like he was falling down… down…
He could see the hospital room where his body lay… he reached out…
'Please don't let me be too late!'
~~BB~~
The doctor hesitated with the paddles… he stared at the monitor… he closed his eyes, knowing the inevitable. He waved at the nurse to stop compressions, to stop with the airbag…
She turned to glance at the family standing stunned in the doorway…
The doctor sighed shakily. "Call it…"
The nurse shook her head sadly. "Time of death… four forty-six AM…"
He cringed as he heard the sudden shout from the doorway, the painful voices clogged with tears begging him not to stop… his own eyes stung as he reached over to turn off the flat lined monitor…
He jumped when the monitor beeped, stared in wonder as it picked up a rhythm. Stunned, he motioned for the nurse to grab the oxygen mask as he checked Jamie's pulse… it was steady and strong. The monitor showed a good beat… his chest rose and fell in normal rhythm.
"Unbelievable…" he choked out, turning to the equally stunned family. He watched as Danny finally broke away from his father and stood back as the distraught man rushed over to his brother, taking his face tenderly in his hands…
~~BB~~
Danny brushed his fingers over Jamie's face. "Jamie… oh Jamie…thank you…" he sobbed, leaning over him, grasping him into an awkward hug. He felt his father's hand on his back as he joined him. He could hear the others crowding in around him, grasping at any part of Jamie they could reach. He leaned his forehead against his brother's, closing his eyes and relishing in the steady beeping of the heart monitor.
'Thank you...'
~~BB~~
Frank sat by the side of Jamie's bed, grasping his son's hand firmly in his own. Danny slept on the other side, leaning forward with his head resting beside Jamie's arm. Frank smiled softly at his sons. In his sleep, Jamie's hand had sought out Danny's. Danny, also asleep, had grasped his brother's fingers tightly. He knew that if they woke up right at that moment they'd both be mortified. Right now, though, it was the comfort they both needed. It had been a day and a half since Jamie had died and then came back to them right when they thought it was too late.
"Mr. Reagan?"
Frank turned, noticing the doctor standing in the doorway. He motioned to him to follow him out into the hallway. Frank got up, quickly following the doctor, his heart thumping nervously.
"What's wrong? Is Jamie still in danger?"
The doctor shook his head. "No, that's the amazing part. The fever has dropped drastically. It's not gone, but I'd give it another day or two and he should be back to normal. The antibiotics have been working like a dream. We'll keep them up, but we're going to reduce the dosage. The wounds we were worried about are looking much healthier already. I'm pretty sure your son's going to be fine."
Frank smiled at the doctor. "Thank you. After all we've been through, that means a lot."
The doctor smiled before turning to check on his other patients. Frank wandered back into Jamie's room. He noticed Danny blinking sleepily at him. He had let go of Jamie's hand.
"Hi, Danny."
"Dad, what time is it?"
"About two in the afternoon."
Danny looked at Jamie. "Has he woken up yet?"
"No." Frank sighed. "I just talked to the doctor, though. Jamie's fever is going down and the antibiotics seem to be working better. They're going to lower the dosage."
Danny nodded, hope in his eyes. "That's good, then."
Frank sat down, staring intently at his oldest. "Danny… your brother's going to be fine."
Danny picked at the blanket covering his brother. "Forgive me if I have trouble believing that after everything we've been through." he muttered.
"Danny." Frank admonished softly. "I would have that that after everything we've seen, you'd have more faith than that."
Danny tossed a sheepish look at his father. "I know, Dad… I mean, I thought for sure Jamie was gone…" he voice stalled as he touched his brother's arm softly. "And then out of nowhere… he's back…"
"And he's getting better…" Frank reminded him.
"We thought that once before, too…"
"This time it's real, son. The doctor himself said it."
Danny still looked unconvinced, his eyes still full of worry. He opened his mouth to speak.
"I thought you'd have more trust in me…" a raspy, tired voice grumbled.
Both Frank and Danny jumped, quickly shooting looks towards Jamie's face. Jamie's eyes were open, and he was staring at his brother, a small smirk on his lips.
"Jamie!" Danny jumped up, quickly grabbing his brother in another awkward hug. Jamie hissed slightly as his still tender ribs were jostled. Danny immediately tried to ease up, but Jamie had wrapped an arm tightly around his brother's shoulders. When Jamie finally let go, Danny noticed a look of understanding in his dampened eyes before Jamie turned to look at his father.
"Dad…" Jamie smiled.
Frank leaned down, hugging his son gently. "Jamie… how do you feel?"
"Like I was run over by a semi." Jamie smirked. He tried to make it sound like a joke, but the pain in his face told the truth.
"Do you want me to get a nurse?"
Jamie reached for his father. "No, not now. Just stay. Please?"
"Of course, son. I'll stay as long as you want."
Jamie nodded before glancing at Danny. "You, too? Please?"
Danny smiled at him. "Of course, kid. Do you really think I'm just going to get up and leave now that you're awake?"
"You? Actually yeah, I figured you would!"
Danny gently ruffled Jamie's hair. "Then you've got a lot to learn about me, kid."
Frank smiled at the banter between his sons. It had been too long since he heard them talking and laughing with each other. He knew things were going to be okay.
Jamie had fallen silent, staring thoughtfully at a spot on the ceiling. Danny and Frank glanced at each other, concerned.
"Jamie? Are you okay, son?" Frank asked as Danny looked on. Jamie glanced at his father before looking back at the ceiling. He smiled slightly.
"Yeah, Dad. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Danny asked. "You seem like you're thinking about something."
Jamie closed his eyes, concentrating as if he were wrestling with a thought. Finally, he took a deep breath. "Joe's okay… so is Mom." He cracked his eyes open, glancing wearily at his father and brother. They stared at him. They must have thought he was crazy. Jamie started to regret that he had mentioned anything.
"Did you see them?" Danny choked out. Frank's eyes looked watery again. Jamie felt a blush creep onto his cheeks.
"Um…"
"It's okay, Jamie." Frank reassured him. "We believe you. It's just…" he trailed off, unsure of what to say.
Danny glanced at his father before looking again at Jamie. "When you said that, Jamie, it just hits home of how close we were to losing you… we did lose you! I guess we didn't want to believe just how far gone you were." Danny touched his brother's hair, gently running his fingers through it. "Did you see them?" he repeated softly.
Jamie eyes watered. He felt his father take his hand. Jamie nodded. "I saw Joe… but he said that Mom was okay, too. He also said that I wasn't ready to join them, yet."
"He's still got some sense, then." Danny mumbled. Jamie smirked slightly.
"He said it was my choice to stay or come back. I wanted to stay…" he trailed off.
Danny looked shocked. He glanced his father, heart breaking at the pain on his face at his son's words.
Jamie grabbed both of their hands. "But I wanted to come back even more."
Danny leaned down, giving his brother another hug. Frank squeezed Jamie's hand.
"I'm glad you decided to stay, little brother." Danny mumbled.
"You would have been okay though, if I hadn't. You know that, right?" Jamie asked seriously.
Danny tilted his head, thinking. "Eventually, maybe it would be better but no, Jamie. I wouldn't have been okay."
"We would get through it, son, but we would never be okay." Frank told him, his voice quivering. "It would never feel right if you weren't in our lives."
"You hold us together, kid. You keep us in line. Or, you keep me in line, anyway." Danny grinned.
Jamie smiled back as he looked between his father and brother. "Then I'm glad I came back."
~~BB~~
It had been two days since Jamie woke up. He was in much better shape, both his fever and the infection gone. The wounds which produced the infection were healing as well as could be expected, looking healthy and pink. The surgical wound had almost sealed. The welts were merely darkened marks on his skin, set to fade at any time. Jamie had been moved out of the ICU into a private room a day after he woke up. He still fatigued easily, and the constant stream of family, friends, and nurses tired him. He slept a lot, and spent his in-between moments moving around, trying to get his strength back.
He stood in his private washroom, clad in sweatpants. He stared into the mirror at the marks on his chest, gingerly running his hand over the surgical wound, still bandaged. His ribs had healed enough to remove the bandaging, but he still had to move carefully as they were still tender. The swelling had all but disappeared, and the bruises were only slightly visible at a mottled green and yellow colour.
He gripped the edge of the sink with his left hand, noticing the pink, healing cut on his wrist. He tried to keep his mind from flashing back to that moment… the pain he felt as Jake drove the knife along his skin…
'Stop it!' he told himself. 'Jake can't hurt you anymore! He's gone and never coming back!' Jamie stared hard into the mirror, his eyes fearful but determined.
"Jamie?"
Jamie jumped, turning towards the closed bathroom door. He took a shaky breath. "Bathroom, Danny."
Danny tapped lightly on the door. "You decent, kid?"
Jamie smirked. "Yeah. Come in."
Danny poked his head through the door, taking in the look on his brother's face. "You okay, Jamie?"
"Yeah, just…" Jamie paused before shaking his head. "Just thinking. It's nothing." he smiled, walking past his brother into the room. Danny gently grabbed his arm as he passed by.
"Jamie, if there's anything you want to tell me, you know you can just say it, right?"
Jamie smiled again, sitting on his bed and leaning back against the raised pillows. "I know. Thanks."
Danny looked at him expectantly. "And?"
"What? I don't have anything to say."
Danny sighed, annoyed. "Cut the crap, Jamie. Something was bothering you before all of this, and something is still bothering you. Can't you at least tell me what's going on?"
Jamie felt his anger flare up, but it died out as he took in the concern written all over his brother's face. He looked down. "Danny, I…"
"What, Jamie? What is it?" Danny asked softly.
When Jamie looked up, there were tears in his eyes. Danny's heart broke as he sat on the edge of his brother's bed. He reached for him, but Jamie held him off.
"I can't look at myself without remembering… it's like I can feel everything they did to me all over again…"
Danny leaned forward, pulling his brother into a hug. Jamie, embarrassed, tried to pull away but finally gave in. He leaned his forehead against his brother's shoulder, fighting for control. He took a shaky breath before pulling away.
"Maybe I should never have left that day… maybe I should have listened to Grandpa and stayed. I was running…"
"From what?"
"Myself." Jamie shrugged. "You. I don't know."
"Kid, there has to be a reason that you felt you had to leave. Why would you need to run?" Danny asked. Jamie looked at him, fear breaking through. "Jamie, we know about the shooting."
Jamie looked startled. "You do?"
"Yes. You have nothing to worry about, you did just fine."
"I shouldn't have been there."
"No, but you were. And you did just fine." Danny emphasized again.
"I wasn't strong enough…"
"There wasn't much time to react." Danny pointed out. Jamie nodded, staring at his hands. Danny tilted his chin. "Jamie, what else is wrong?"
Jamie looked at his brother before tearing his eyes away. "I'm not good enough for this… I make too many mistakes… the stress eats at me…"
"The stress eats at all of us, kid. And what do you mean, you're not strong enough? You're one of the best cops I've ever known! You love the job… don't you?"
"Yes! Of course I do. Most of it, anyway."
Danny nodded in understanding. "There's a dark side to it no matter what, kid. It's how you handle it that matters."
Jamie stared at his hands again, his cheeks heating up. It was now or never. He glanced, ashamed, at his confused looking brother. "I… I don't like how I handle it, Danny. I don't like who I've become."
Danny stared, a nervous feeling coming over him. His brother was like a ray of sunshine in their lives. How could he possibly become something he hated? "What do you mean?"
"You'll hate me…" Jamie mumbled. He shifted, turning his back to his brother and leaning his head against the pillows. Danny tried to roll him back over, but Jamie shrugged him off.
"Jamie," Danny sighed. "I could never hate you. You know that! Even if you chose to do something so horrible, I still couldn't hate you."
Jamie remained silent, but shifted again, catching his brother's concerned gaze. He sighed. "It's tough, Danny… no one ever told me how tough."
Danny smiled softly. "You never asked, kid. You grew up in a family of cops… couldn't you tell that things were not all sunshine and flowers?"
Jamie stared at the ceiling. "Maybe I didn't want to think anything different… you and Dad and Grandpa… Joe… you all had these amazing stories… you didn't get into any of the bad stuff."
"You were still a kid… maybe we censored ourselves because of that. You grew up, Jamie. You started hearing about the bad stuff before you even decided to join the Academy."
Jamie sighed. "I just wanted to help people, Danny… all I want to do is help…"
"You do help, buddy. You're really good at it."
"I mess up… I messed up with that kid. He was just a boy…"
Danny sighed, watching Jamie fight back tears. "That doesn't mean you failed, Jamie. We can't save everyone. We'd like to, but we can't. We're not superheroes."
Jamie smirked. "I used to think you were a superhero."
Danny grinned. "You used to think you were, too."
"What do you mean?"
"Mom had this old tablecloth she wanted to throw out. You practically demanded she make a cape out of it for you. She gave in. You wore that thing every day for months on end. She and Dad had to beg you to take it off before you went to school."
Jamie scrubbed a hand over his face, snorting a laugh. "It had flowers on it."
Danny grinned. "And you didn't care one bit."
Jamie shot his brother a sad smile. His fist clenched. Danny felt a shot of panic that Jamie was about to fall back into his morose state, but it dissipated when Jamie tapped his fist against his.
"You're still my superhero, Danny."
Danny smiled. "Why's that?"
Jamie looked at him seriously. "You found me, Danny. You and Dad. If you hadn't… if you'd given up…"
Danny leaned towards him, tapping a finger on his chest. "We'd never give up, Jamie. Never."
Jamie nodded. "I'm still here because of you."
Danny regarded him thoughtfully. "You know what?"
"What?"
"You're still my superhero, too."
Jamie smiled quizzically. "How's that?"
Danny looked down. "We thought we lost you… you didn't come home when you said you would, you didn't answer our calls. I thought that maybe…" Danny trailed off. He shot his brother a look before lifting his head to stare at the ceiling, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.
Jamie swallowed. "You thought that perhaps the job got to me enough that I'd off myself?"
Danny shook his head. "I don't know… maybe." He looked at Jamie again. "Would you?"
Jamie gazed at his brother. "No."
Danny sighed, a feeling of relief settling in his chest. "Good. Jamie, when we found you… I've seen some bad stuff, but you… I'm really surprised that you were even alive. What they did to you…"
Jamie closed his eyes. "You really don't have to remind me."
"I know, buddy. I'm sorry… you fought through that though. You kept yourself alive. You fought when you were hospitalized. You fought to come back after we lost you… you're a fighter, Jamie. Always remember that. Stronger men would have crumbled, but you're still here and in one piece. That's why you're still my superhero."
Jamie smiled softly at him before turning to stare at the ceiling. "I'm not that strong, Danny." he mumbled softly.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't handle it well. The job… the dark side of it. I don't handle it very well…"
"Talk to me, Jamie." Danny murmured, reaching out to squeeze Jamie's arm. He watched with concern as Jamie's brows furrowed and his teeth clenched. He looked like he was fighting back tears. Jamie finally sighed and closed his eyes.
"I can't count how many times I've turned to the bottle, Danny." he mumbled.
"I've done the same, kid. It's not a crime." Danny soothed.
"It's not me. And I…"
"You what?"
"I walk to the closest bar. I drink. I follow some female back to her place…"
"Jamie…"
"I feel so disgusted with myself, Danny. I use them. I let them use me. It my way of forgetting, but then I just end up remembering those mistakes… it doesn't end!"
"Jamie!" Danny soothed again, trying to get his attention. "You're right, kid, that isn't you. But don't beat yourself up over it. I mean, it's not like I have the greatest track record in that department either. I'm not exactly going to qualify for Sainthood or anything. It doesn't mean you're a bad person."
Tears leaked out of the corner of Jamie's eyes. "What do I do, Danny? It like an addiction… I have to do it, but I hate it so much!"
"Have you ever resisted it? Have you ever tried not to fall into that cycle?"
Jamie thought about it. "Yes… after the shooting, I was about to walk down the street to the bar, but I forced myself not to. Had a bottle of water instead, and no women."
Danny smirked. "Well then, see? You can control it and if it bothers you that much, which I believe it does, you have the power to control yourself."
"Yeah… but then I decided some alone time was a good idea, and look what happened." Jamie mumbled, gesturing to his chest.
"That wasn't something in your control." Danny told him softly. "You didn't know. The alcohol, the women… you can change that. Unless… you do want that?"
"No! I already told you that I hate that about myself!" Jamie muttered, shooting Danny a glare.
Danny sighed. "Is it something you do every night?"
"No. Occasionally, but not all the time."
"Then you can stop altogether. You're not going to turn into an alcoholic by having a beer or two, and if you can stop yourself every time there's an urge to have more and more… I don't think there's a big problem here, brother."
Jamie quirked his lips in a half smile, half smirk. "I thought you'd be ashamed of me…"
"Why would I be ashamed of you?"
"Because I'm not living up to what you thought I should be…" Jamie mumbled, turning his face away from Danny.
"Jamie, none of us want you to be a certain way… we want you to be yourself. Do you think you have to prove something to us?" Danny frowned at his brother. "Jamie, did you think you had to become a cop just because of Grandpa and Dad and me? That you had to prove to us that you could do it, too?"
"No! I wanted to do this. It was my decision!"
"Then why are you ashamed?"
Jamie eased himself up so that he was level with Danny. "I've always felt so much pressure, Danny." he said, his eyes practically begging him to understand. "I've always done… everything… to please other people. To please Dad and Mom… you… I went into Law at Harvard because I thought that's what Mom and Dad wanted. For a while I thought it's what I wanted, too. It didn't take long before I realized that I wasn't happy. It was interesting, but it just wasn't me. I was bored. I was already bored at the thought that I'd be stuck behind a desk. Sure, I'd be able to help people there too, but it wasn't enough. I kept at it because I thought that the rest of you would be so disappointed if I dropped out… but at the end I couldn't keep it up… I couldn't keep wasting my time. I had to do what I had to do, and if that was the Police Academy… I did this for myself, Danny." Jamie paused, bowing his head. He pressed his hands over his eyes. "I did it for myself, and now I don't know if I'm good enough."
Danny reached over, placing his hand on Jamie's shoulder. "Jamie…" he murmured, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "I had no idea you felt that way, kid. You didn't have to go into Law and you didn't have to stay there. Dad wouldn't have been disappointed. Mom would have accepted it, too. I'd support you even if you said you wanted to be an Attendant at a gas station." Jamie glanced up, smirking. "I mean it, Jamie. You went into the Academy because that's what you wanted to do, because you felt that you could do it, and I think that deep down, you still think that you can do it. No, I think that you know you can do it. And so do I."
Jamie gazed at him, eyes watering. He nodded. "Thanks." he murmured.
Danny pulled him into a hug. "It's going to take some time, kid." he said. "You'll get back onto your feet, though. You'll be out there chasing bad guys and hotdogs before you know it."
"Are you ever going to let that hotdog thing go?" Jamie muttered, pushing away from Danny.
"Nope." Danny grinned. "The pig was a good story, too."
Jamie snorted. "Shut up, Danny."
Danny's eyes softened. "You've done some great things, kid. Don't forget that. For every bad thing that happens, ten good ones take its place." Jamie nodded, giving him a smile. Danny smiled back. "You're going to be fine, Jamie. I know it."
~~BB~~
Frank sighed, stretching out in his chair. Jamie was still in the hospital, but now that he was out of danger Frank and his family felt comfortable abiding by normal visiting hours and going home to get some sleep and proper food. He glanced at the clock. It was nine at night, the sky dark outside the windows. Henry bustled into the room.
"I've got Jamie's old room set up for him when he gets out of the hospital."
"Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you Pop?" Frank smiled. They had agreed that Jamie should stay with them for a short time just to get back on his feet. Jamie had tried to argue, saying he'd be fine at his own apartment, but Frank's tone left no room for argument. He'd stay a week with them, then see how he felt. If he thought he was up to it then he could go home, but not before.
"What? It won't be that much longer!"
"It'll still be a few more days. Maybe a week. The doctor just wants to make sure everything is healing normally."
"I know." Henry sighed, sitting on the couch. "I just can't wait any longer. I want to tuck him in here at home and never let him go again."
Frank sighed sadly. "I know, Pop. I wish I could do the same." He looked at his father sternly. "We can baby him for a week, but then we have to remember that he's a grown man. We're going to have to let him go."
"What if I refuse?" Henry asked stubbornly, only half joking.
"Then Jamie will probably get annoyed enough to murder you in your sleep." Frank said, his face straight and unwavering. Henry looked at him oddly before sighing.
"Yeah, wouldn't put it past him." he mumbled as his son's face broke into a smile.
"Dad?"
"In the living room, Danny."
Danny poked his head around the corner. "Hi, Dad. Grandpa."
"What brings you here at this hour, Danny? Is something wrong?" Henry asked.
"Is Jamie okay?" Frank asked at the same time. Danny put up his hands to stop them.
"Whoa, it's okay. I was in the area so I thought I'd stop by. Although… did either of you know how much pressure Jamie was under? Or how much pressure he thought he was under?"
Frank frowned. "What do you mean, Danny?"
Danny sighed. "Look, it's his story to tell… but he told me that he's always felt pressure to make everyone else happy… so much that he forgot about himself."
Both Henry and Frank stared at him. "Are you telling me he's a cop because he thinks that what we want?" Frank asked, stunned.
"No. He's a cop because that's what he wants. I think he's worried that you don't want him out on the streets. He's… he's having trouble believing in himself right now. I talked to him and I think I've got him convinced, but…" Danny trailed off, looking helpless.
"Should I talk to him, too?"
Danny shook his head. "I think you should let him come to you. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but he really scared me tonight. He'll kill me, though, if he finds out I told you." he smirked.
Frank smiled, his smile sad. "I had no idea." He watched his oldest son's face. "Is there anything else I should be worried about?"
Danny shook his head. "No. If he wants you to know any more, he'll tell you. I can't break his trust in me."
"You're a good brother, Danny, but if my son is in any more danger…"
"No! Dad, don't worry. He'll be okay. I've already talked to him… and I don't think he'll want to tell you everything."
"But…"
"Dad… really? Do I tell you everything?"
"No. I wish you would though, son."
"Everything?" Danny grumbled.
Frank stared at him, realization finally dawning. "Well, okay… maybe not everything."
Danny smirked. "Then leave Jamie alone, okay? He'll tell you if he thinks it's a good idea. I just wanted to give you a heads up. He's not in the best place right now, but he'll be okay."
Frank nodded, sharing a look with his father. They made a silent pact to watch their loved one a little closer when he got home.
~~BB~~
Jamie shifted onto his side under the thin blanket resting across him. He mumbled something unintelligible as he settled his cheek on a cool part of the pillow. He could hear a shifting noise off to the side. He frowned, his sleep finally broken, his cop's instinct waking him up. He sleepily opened his eyes…
Yelping, he sat up, scrambling backwards and nearly falling off the bed. His feet hit the floor as he backed against the wall.
The man on the other side of the room put his hands up, backing up slowly. He looked startled.
"Whoa, Jamie… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"What the hell are you doing here?" Jamie snapped, embarrassed that his voice was a couple of octaves higher than normal because of fear. "Have you come to finish me off?"
Cole smirked at him. "Really, Jamie?"
"You should be in jail with the other bastards who put me in here!" Jamie growled. He was starting to regret his hasty retreat. He wrapped his arms around his middle, the muscles and his ribs still tugging painfully. He should have known better than to move so fast.
"Jamie, would you get back into bed? You look like you could pass out at any minute."
Jamie glared. "Not until you get out!" he snapped again. He looked frantically at the door. Maybe if he ran for it, he could slip past him…
Cole stared at him, looking confused. "Didn't they tell you?"
"Tell me what?" Jamie grumbled. He started moving back towards the bed, exhaustion finally winning out. Cole stayed where he was, backed against the other wall, watching as Jamie wearily got back into bed. He stayed as far away from Cole as possible while trying to ease the tension in his body, allowing his ribs to quit tugging painfully.
"Jamie, I wasn't one of them. When I told you I was trying to keep you alive, I meant it. Cole isn't my real name."
Jamie stared at him. He had to admit that he had never hated Cole. Even trusted him a bit. Cole had never laid a hand on him with the intent of hurting him, and he sometimes caught a look of sympathy or regret on his face when he didn't think anyone was watching. "Then what's your name?"
"You really don't remember, Jamie?"
Jamie frowned, staring quizzically at the man before him. He seemed so familiar… the man smiled at him, his smile reaching his kind green eyes… Jamie's eyes widened.
"Colby… my grandfather called you Colby that night when I was twelve…"
"And you were lost in the woods." Colby nodded, grinning at him. "Duke and I found you."
Jamie kept to the far side of the bed, but relaxed more fully into his pillows. "I thought I recognized you, but I couldn't remember… how'd you get in with Jake?"
"Undercover."
"Your undercover name was Cole? From Colby?" Jamie snorted. "That's original."
Colby smirked at him. "Look who's talking, Jimmy."
Jamie's eyes widened. "You know? How did you know?"
Colby shrugged. "Word gets around. I was in on that for a while, too, until I screwed up. I saw you a few times, but stayed away."
"You were found out?"
"No… I unknowingly befriended someone from a rival family… that was found out. They beat me up pretty good and told me to get out, that they'd kill me if they saw me again."
Jamie snorted. "Sounds like them."
"Are you still on the inside?"
Jamie paused, not sure of how much he should say. "Not right now."
Colby nodded. "You really do attract trouble, Reagan. The Sanfino's are not ones to be messed with."
Jamie smirked, remembering his past bruises and sprains. "Yeah, you can say that again."
They stared at each other awkwardly. Jamie cleared his throat. "How's Duke?"
A sad look crossed Colby's face. "Shot in the line of duty." he sighed. "He's still alive," he added hastily, seeing the look of horror on Jamie's face. "He saved my life. I wouldn't be standing here if he hadn't been there. The bullet slipped past his vest into his shoulder. It did too much damage and forced him into early retirement. He still lives with me; he wouldn't respond as well to anyone else." Colby smiled fondly. "To be honest, he's better as a companion dog than a police dog… I never did get that excitability trained out of him."
Jamie smiled, remembering how Duke cleaned his face. "He had more than German Shepard in him, then."
Colby laughed. "Yeah, I think there's a bit of Terrier in him."
"How did you get into undercover work, then?"
"A few months after Duke was shot, I was approached by the OCCB, and never looked back."
"You like it?"
"Sometimes. I think it's the thrill."
Jamie glowered. "Beating me up was a thrill?"
Colby sighed, annoyed. "I didn't beat you up, Jamie. Unfortunately I couldn't constantly come to your rescue." His eyes softened. "I didn't want to blow my cover… Jake had been on our radar for quite some time and if I was found out, we'd lose him. He had been drug trafficking across borders, and was getting into the sex trade, taking foreign women just looking for a job and turning them into prostitutes for his profit. He had a system, though, and always managed to be one step ahead of us." Colby frowned at the floor. "Until you… you unraveled him. He was always psychotic, but he did nothing but screw up when it came to you. It gave us enough information to arrest him. I should thank you for that." Colby smiled at him. "Unfortunately my boss isn't too happy… because the idiot had kidnapped a cop, his case was blown apart. He couldn't even make the arrest."
"Sorry?"
Colby brushed him off. "Nah, it was more fun watching your brother get a piece of that bastard." he said, grinning. "Your father's a good shot."
Jamie smiled. "He taught me when I was a teenager. Took me to the range, much to my mother's annoyance."
"You must be a pretty good shot too, then."
"Good enough." Jamie shrugged.
Colby looked at him, wonder shining in his eyes. "You're a tough one, kid. I honestly thought Jake had killed you… I did try to stop him, but I thought I was too late. Jake was too out of it to notice me. You really surprised me, Jamie." He smiled. "That makes you a good cop. Use those instincts and that will to fight. They'll take you far."
Jamie smiled. "That means a lot, Colby. Thanks."
Colby nodded. "Look, I'd better go. I was in the waiting room when your brother showed up. He was pretty agitated that I was there in the first place. By now, I'm sure he's ready to murder me."
Jamie looked surprised. "Doesn't he know who you are?"
"Yes, he knows. I was the inside informant that helped to lead them to the farmhouse. Just because he knows I'm on your side doesn't mean he likes me."
Jamie grinned. "That sounds like Danny."
"I hope to see you around, Reagan."
"You will." Jamie nodded. "Colby?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Colby smiled again, his kind eyes twinkling. "Any day, kid. I like you. I'd do anything for your family… I hold a lot of respect for your grandfather. He was Commissioner when I was new to the force, although he was about to retire. Your father's one of the best as well. You get a hold of me if you need anything."
Jamie nodded again, smiling. He watched as Colby left, feeling better than he had in a long time.
~~TBC~~