Here it, I'm sorry that it took so long, and there are no promises about how long it's going to take me to post the next one. A week tops, just because I have to find out what my finals schedule/work schedule is going to look like. 'sweat drop' Don't hurt me!
Thank you reviewers! I got so many this time around, haha, tease you people with a little sex and you all turn into review manics! I see how it is.
S i l e n t .M u s i c. B o x, Me, Miso Ramen-sama, peaches, Narudi18, done-and-done, ShEiLdEd-WiNgS, kiki2222, catiemon, ovicati, PaInTiNg-ThE-aPocAlYpCe, Fireotaku18, Wraith, 'whew'
Oh and S i l e n t .M u s i c. B o x: I noticed that Naruto was a bit agressive in the first chapter, so I toned it down some. I wanted the differance to be Naruto's choice, just like anybody with superpowers and a consciounce. That way there's always the question of whether or not he's going to soop to the same level as those he is trying to destroy. And it make it easier for people who make the Naruto=Kyuubi connection to believe it. Thanks for the observation, I love the feedback and that goes for everybody.
Disclaimer: Kishimoto paid me to write this story, but not with money! I get me some sweet Gaara lovin'. 'Glares at those who are looking disgusted and sticks tongue out': 'Don't knock it 'till you've tried it.'
Okaaay...
Chapter_13: Tell Me It Makes Sense
"Sasuke…" Naruto's voice sounded weak in the apartment's arid silence. "…please…Sasuke…"
The raven looked into the blonds' face. His pale fingertips touched under the tan chin and lifted gently. Naruto's gaze wavered for a moment before holding steadily with Sasuke's dark eyes. He might've gone ahead; he was a hairs breath away from it. But what the raven saw in those wide, expressive blue pools made him pause. What blithely swirled in those expressive depths…was fear, accented by other, lesser sentiments, but fear…
Sasuke had never seen the blond look so…hesitant, so frightened and that was wrong to him somehow. It was strange for the man to be so quiet, so uncertain and passive.
The brunette realized distantly that his hand had travelled up the scarred cheek to tangle in Naruto's thick mane. Realization mixed with fear within the deep sapphires and the blond released a shaky breath. Dark eyelids slid shut, cutting the connection.
He was tempted, very tempted, to pull the blond in once more. He could, Sasuke knew a golden opportunity when it threw itself literally into his arms; he could take it further than just this pithy first base. That temptation was nearly overpowering, but how could it be helped. The heat, the power, the passion that this man radiated was all there, just beneath the surface; the raven could feel it, smothered barely in layers of anxiety.
It was with a mild sort of bewilderment that Sasuke found he could not bring himself to push farther. Curse is over attentive brain and his high-tuned devotion to detail.
Obsidian eyes drifted over the blonds' face: the brilliant, now hidden, cerulean iris's, the sun kissed skin, the unusual whisker-esk scars that graced the man's squared jaw, and those fascinating, kiss reddened lips.
Naruto grunted, what might've been protest or simple confusion, and Sasuke was staring into the man's bright blue eyes once more. They were so close, their faces nearly touching. The raven could feel Naruto's breath fan against his mouth, could read the emotions swimming in the man's eyes.
Lust…it filmed over the blond man's expressive eyes, shadowing what else swam inside. But Sasuke found it, beneath the pleasure and the want; he could still see the question, the confusion. He could not…
"Not this time Naruto," The Uchiha pushed the man off of himself, starting down the hallway. He intended to take Naruto somewhere…very public and very well lit where he could find out what had prompted this sudden desire in the blond to experiment. He intended to get some answers; he didn't like unknowns. But the raven made it only a few steps before he felt hands gripping the back of his shirt, effectively stopping him mid-step.
"Wait, Sasuke…"
Sasuke allowed the blond to hold him still, but did not turn.
"Sasuke…" The Uzumaki's whisper was hoarse, desperate...but the other could hear the faint undertones of hesitation. "I…I…"
"What is this, Naruto?" Sasuke cut the blond off. He didn't want the man saying anything that he might regret later. Guilt would only serve to drive the blond farther away from Sasuke in the long run and the raven would allow none of that. "Why are you forcing yourself?"
"I…" The fingers that clung to him clenched. Nail's dug sharply into pale shoulder-blades for a moment, as if struggling to find purchase on a sheer rock face. A deep, quivering sigh came from behind Sasuke, bathing the back of his neck in vaporous warmth.
He sighed again and Sasuke felt another pressure laid against his back, this one at the top of his spine. This time when Naruto spoke, his voice was closer. He'd let his forehead rest on the Uchiha's back and he still had the man's shirt fisted. "I'm…I'm not forcing anything…"
The admission was nothing more than a whisper; it tickled the fine hairs along Sauske's neck, prickling the flesh there. There it was: permission. It was obviously a lie, but what could he do at this point? If Naruto was pushing it this far, this hard was it too much to assume that he was a little scared but willing at the same time?
"Naruto," Sasuke's response was stern, demanding. "Ask me properly."
The fingers clasping his back tightened further, if that were humanly possible, the Uchiha was fairly certain that there were now ten holes in his brand new shirt. And then he was being embraced, in the literal sense. Arms had reached around to wrap across his chest. A strong, well-muscled torso was being pressed fully against his back, a soft cheek lain upon the top if his spine.
The Uchiha surprised himself by allowing the tender contact, feeling the closeness, the intimacy, the incredible warmth of Naruto's body. It was for the blonds' comfort…nothing more. That he found the embrace mildly satisfying was only a side benefit.
"I've never done anything like this before..." The Uzumaki said. "I…would like to try…with you."
Sasuke easily slipped out of Naruto's weak grasp, moving past the blond to lead the way down the long hallway. "Then follow me."
Naruto watched as the ravens back steadily grew smaller as the man continued to walk leisurely down the hall.
This was another test, to see if Naruto could follow by himself. The blond recognized it immediately; because for a moment, he wasn't sure that he could. But the moment passed and resolutely, Naruto began the long march after the raven. One foot in front of the other, it became easier with each step, but he couldn't allow himself to rethink this. He had put his pride on the line by coming here in the first place. He simply couldn't bail out now.
Carefully, he padded after Sasuke, watching the raven turn left and disappear into a doorway near the end of the corridor, the one from which Naruto had himself emerged only that morning. Sasuke's bedroom.
His step faltered for a second, but kept on.
He flung himself into the dark bedroom, his gaze fixed solidly on the floor. It was the reason he didn't see Sasuke until the raven was literally upon him.
The door banged shut, cutting off the light and plunging the bedroom into utter darkness.
Before the blond could protest, he was thrust up against the door, his back molded forcibly into the carved contours. The shock of a lean, muscular body pressed fully against his sparking that same restlessness he's experienced the first time he'd kissed Sasuke out in the hall. A warm mouth nestled snugly next to his ear and the raven's deep, approving rumble echoed into its' shell.
"Brave boy," The mouth moved away from his ear, sliding sensuously along the square curvature of Naruto's jaw and up to the blonds' mouth.
The Uchiha stroked, pressed and slid the soft plush of his lips against the rougher texture of his lover's chapped mouth. He tasted the same saltiness as before, where the blond must've licked his lips. The teasing hint of what lay beyond stoked the fire burning along his skin higher, hotter. But he supped only at the man's lips, feasting on the blond's innocent reactions, moans and sighs. There would be time for those intimacies later, once Sasuke had gotten Naruto used to these simple ones.
His hands held tan cheeks, though he couldn't see to identify the color. The blackness had deprived him of his sight, but left his other senses surging up to experience the golden haired man with his fingers, lips and tongue.
Naruto, to the Uchiha's pleasure, didn't shy away, but melted into the kiss. The man tilted his head as before, figuring out that men kissed much the same as anyone else did and that little bit of gleaned information seemed to encourage him.
Naruto's lips parted and suddenly, Sasuke was the one being kissed. The blond took a hold of the man's tops lip between his; leaning back and allowing the flesh to slide sensuously back into place before he repeated the process on Sasuke's lower lip.
The raven was turned on. There was no denying it at this point…ha ha…point…
To provide Naruto with an appropriate picture of what exactly he was doing to him, the Uchiha eased the man's legs apart before settling their hips fully onto each other.
The blond stopped, gasped and drew back, the back of his skull impacting the wooden door with a dull 'thunk'. They stood, Sasuke still holding the man's face in his hands; his hips still pressed pleasantly into Naruto's, showing the other man his evident approval. The raven could hear his heartbeat thrumming in his ears. One passed…a second…one more…
"Sasuke…" Naruto's voice was weak and breathy as he pleaded. "…kiss me…I want your…your tongue-" Which was all the further he got in his explanation. It was all the encouragement Sasuke needed to conclude that the blond was in fact ready for more flagrant pleasures.
Naruto moaned; his mouth very suddenly and very pleasantly occupied. A tongue, Sasuke's tongue slipped along the rough contours of his lips, toying and sweeping on the dry skin. It was almost as if the man were asking permission, knocking and waiting for Naruto to let him in. The mental picture made him smirk into Sasuke's kiss. It was strange to be smiling in such a close setting.
Naruto surprised himself by touching the man's tongue with his own, with none of the finesse, and not a hint of that practiced teasing Sasuke had displayed whatsoever, but he didn't need to tease to get his message across. 'I want to try this,' his mouth whispered silently to the raven. 'Come and taste me,' beckoned his tongue as it touched lightly on the raven's sweet questing flesh. 'I'm asking you in.' The raven heard and his answer was to withdraw from Naruto's lips long enough to place a feather-soft kiss against his jaw before returning to plunge inside the blonds waiting mouth, to the warm wetness beyond.
. Naruto would've expected adding such a blatant intimacy to skyrocket the scene out of control. But the mood of the kiss changed not at all; he'd been wrong. The kiss remained gentle, slow and almost tender, if he'd thought that Uchiha Sasuke was a man capable of tenderness. But that would never be the first adjective that came to mind when Naruto thought of Sasuke.
The raven's tongue continued to play inside Naruto's mouth, reveling in the taste and texture of the blond. He tasted ramen, it was the source of the saline flavoring on Naruto's lips, but it was much more potent here. It wasn't disgusting. Sasuke didn't normally go for junk food, but the taste fit with the blond man's character like a hand into a tailor made glove.
Naruto trembled as Sasuke's tongue continued to skim and play with the inside of his mouth. This was nothing like his first kiss eight years ago. This was unique, fresh, clean and new. He'd expected heat, expected domination and subjugation by submitting himself to this man. But that hadn't happened. He wasn't being forced, or coerced. In fact, the raven-haired man had given him every opportunity to walk away and now, when he had Naruto at his mercy, he took nothing more than the blond was willing to give.
Realization made his knees weak. This kiss, this man, was seducing him…
Hesitantly, carefully, Naruto closed his mouth around the Uchiha's questing tongue. Softly he sucked on the fleshy appendage. His ex-girlfriend had done that once and he had liked it…so the blond figured that Sasuke might. Although that information was eight years old and fuzzy; Naruto wished that he'd plucked up his courage enough to actually research this. Then maybe he wouldn't be at a complete loss right now. Maybe he'd know how to tell the Uchiha that everything was okay now, to ignore his trembling limbs and just do it.
His errant thoughts were interrupted by a rather forceful thrust of hips against his own that had the blood literally singing in Naruto's veins. He released the raven's tongue and let out a startled gasp, which seemed to encourage Sasuke. The man's hips thrust once more, but this time more deeply, escalating the rhythm of Naruto's pulsing heartbeat.
"Do you feel it?" The Uchiha questioned, moving his pelvis against Naruto's in a progression of sharp pushes that had the blond going up in flames.
Everything changed; there was no softness in the raven's actions, only hard thrusting against Naruto's quickly hardening shaft. But that harshness did nothing to diminish the fire that had pooled sweetly in the blonds' stomach. If anything, the rough pressure was stoking it, bringing it to brilliant life with such intensity that it threatened to overwhelm him.
The air was filled with heavy panting and breathy moans, all from Naruto. The blond could feel the stretch and flex of each muscle through his thin T-shirt. It was admittedly strange to feel an even, toned chest instead of the plump fleshy mounds of a woman pressed into him. But it wasn't the bad odd, not anymore. It was a new odd, it was…unbelievable. Sasuke was incredible; just like he'd said...that morning. So much for a week.
The blond trembled as milky-white fingers, which had up until now cupped his cheeks comfortingly, eased down his chest, fingernails pulling slightly at the cotton. Fingertips edged under the hem of his shirt, tickling along the sliver of tanned skin they had revealed just above the blonds' jeans. It prickled, delicate tongues of fire crept up Naruto's abdomen. He gasped and the fingers continued on their erotic journey up his chest, past his navel, slowly kneading clenching stomach muscles, trailing along the sweeping spiral of his tattoo. Long before Naruto had received his fill of those skilled digits, they were on the move once again, easing over a heaving pectoral.
The pinch caught him off guard as did the corresponding flash of heated pleasure which twisted inside his bloodstream, pulling another heated cry from his desire parted lips.
"Sasu-suke…wha-" Naruto hissed. Surprise and pleasure began mixing their own delicious cocktail that heated his blood and clouded his already hazy mind.
Surprise brought on reflexive action. He grabbed the raven's shirt with one hand, the material bunching at the shoulder as the blonds' other hand caught reflexively on Sasuke's teasing fingers, bringing the delightful twisting and tweaking to a sudden stop.
If Naruto were paying attention, he might've noticed the self-satisfied smirk which tinged the corners of Sasuke's mouth. But at the moment, superhuman vision or no, the blond was in no frame of mind to catch any sort of subtle details.
"Idiot…" The raven's hot breath caressed Naruto's ear. "Don't worry, just let the pleasure happen."
The Uzumaki nodded dumbly, his grip on Sasuke's playful hand loosening enough for the man to continue. Slowly, he let go of the raven's shirt and slid his palm up to grasp the back of Sasuke's neck. Short, silken strands of ebony brushed his fingers and the blond leaned forward.
Their mouths touched, brushed, feather-soft, and clung. This was it. He could not turn back now; he could no longer claim that this was all Sasuke's doing. This was him choosing, because this was starting to make sense.
The choice remained unspoken, a decision that lacked any verbal reinforcement, but the Uchiha seemed to understand perfectly.
The moonlight skin under his hand flexed as the raven started abusing the pert nipple once again. Naruto opened his mouth on Sasuke's to gasp at the tumultuous surge of warmth and bliss curling around his spine. The noise was swallowed whole by a searching tongue and a pair of conquering lips.
Naruto wasn't certain exactly what to do yet, for a moment all he could do was stand and accept the attentions. He was reveling in Sasuke, the man's taste, the texture of his tongue, the smooth polish of his teeth, the silken slick skin of the man's mouth; the passionate power of his kiss.
The blond swallowed, drawing on the flesh circling and caressing his mouth. The suction grew as Naruto's daring increased. Sauke liked this before, so if he did it more than…
The taste was inside of him, permeating his taste buds so he could take in no more; yet awakening within him such hunger for it that he knew he could never get enough. The man tasted like mint, but the flavor had been heated and was mixed with an unidentifiable tang that was purely Sasuke. The combination was heady and addicting. It typified this secret Sasuke, the one that the raven never showed anyone. Uchiha Sasuke, the man secreted and stashed just beneath the surface, was full of passion and emotion; Naruto could feel every separate, swirling sentiment in this man's kiss.
And 'merde' was the Uchiha kissing him. The blonds' head was reeling. New waves of hot power washed over him as the hand at his nipple began to twist and pull just as the raven's hips ground down with a mind shattering force.
It was just like his dream. Everything was white hot and bathed in radiant pleasure. But Naruto didn't have the time to savor the pleasure as Sasuke poured nuance after nuance onto the blonds' over-sensitized nerves.
Naruto swallowed again, savoring the thick, spicy drug that was Sasuke's taste. And then it was gone. The tongue which had touched and awakened his own was drawn out of his mouth and disappeared, leaving him with nothing but the lingering taste of mulled mint.
The blond opened his eyes. Oddly enough he hadn't even realized that he'd closed them until he'd had to force his lids up.
"What?" He managed. "What's wrong?"
He was being pulled, turned and then pushed backwards deeper into the blackness of Sasuke's bedroom. He understood what this wordless string of actions implied; where Sasuke was leading him.
Naruto allowed himself to be walked backwards towards the large bed which waited in the middle of the immense room..
It was a little strange to think that he'd lain on that bed, snuggled in its warmth, slept in its monstrous expanse, only last night. Tonight, he would be making use of it again, but for far more bohemian purposes than sleep.
Sasuke pushed on his shoulders with is fingertips, exerting the slightest pressure and Naruto's body followed, continuing to back up, farther in. At least, he tried to, but his calf caught on the side of the bed and he fell. His body hit the mattress a second later, swallowed in its softness and he simply lay.
A light flickered on from somewhere over to the side and the room was dimly revealed. Naruto slid his eyes open and his breath caught. Warm tendrils of light shimmered around them both, dancing around Uchiha Sasuke who stood over his prostrate form, a guardian angel, to perfect for words. And then the angel before him began to undress and Naruto could no longer breathe.
Slender, beautiful fingers reached under to pull away the restricting fabric of Sasuke's shirt, exposing a pale, perfect torso to suddenly and inexplicably hungry blue eyes. Coralline pools of radiant azure worshiped every inch of Sasuke's milky white skin; sliding over the sleek, yet firmly formed pectorals; the lithe torso studded with slim, wiry muscle. They glided down, past the set vertical line of the Uchiha's waist, down, down, down…to the slender hips bones graced with shadow and the impenetrable blockade of the man's dark jeans.
A bulge at the fly bore stark testament to Sasuke's arousal. Naruto felt heat beginning to creep across his face and down his neck. It was the thought that he had caused that…that…state and that he was in the exact same boat as the raven was more than he could fathom at the moment. Everything was so surreal, a dream. He was going to sleep with this man, tonight, now and then, afterwards…
Reality crashed down heavily on Naruto. He was about to give himself to this man, to someone that he'd only known for a week. But what would happen afterwards, did he have any guarantees that Sasuke would let him stay beyond the night? And what if the raven turned him away after tonight? Was sense worth loneliness? Was Loniness worth making sense of this? It was no use, Naruto realized. He was no less confused than he was an hour ago.
Uchiha Sasuke looked down, his fathomless ebony eyes travelling the same path along Naruto's body that the blonds' own had taken only moments ago across the raven's pale body. A spark, a hint, a glimmer within the depths of those murky black eyes was all that the blond saw. The flicker of appreciation was all he got.
"Like something you see?" He had no idea what to do. He had no clue how to tell Sasuke to hold on, to let him figure everything out all over again. He wanted this pleasure, but how could he look this man in the face and ask him what he wanted? How could he ask if the raven wanted anything more than just his body for tonight?
"Get up." The Uchiha turned, his sock clad feet padding noiselessly to the door.
"What?" The heady glow of pleasure in his bloodstream was fading quickly. Naruto pushed himself onto his elbows and watched Sasuke reach for the doorknob. "That's it?" He was torn for a moment, trying to decide if he was grateful to Sasuke for pulling back while he was becoming steadily more unsure, or anger at the raven for doing the same when his body was screaming for more. "That's all I get?"
Sasuke was halfway out the door when he turned, one foot still planted firmly into the hall carpet. It was a signal, one which said in no uncertain terms that Sasuke had no indication of going back on his decision. The gaze he levied on the blond was iron-clad and impenetrable. "Get up." The raven repeated; his tone deadly.
Naruto felt humiliation rifle into him. The knowledge of what exactly had happened fueled that mortification. He'd just laid himself out like a food platter, a freaking virgin sacrifice and Sasuke was walking away from him like it was no big deal.
The blond rose unsteadily to his feet. He had to get out of here. He had to go, get away from this man, from the shame Naruto would never be able to live down.
"Get yourself a coat from the closet next to the door," Sasuke was saying. "Find your shoes and-"
"I know!" Naruto yelled. His hands tightened into fists at his sides. How could this guy be so cruel? Wasn't turning him down enough? The raven had to drive the point home by detailing how exactly Naruto should leave his house? "I get it you complete and utter bastard! I'm goin-"
"…wait for me." The Uchiha finished.
Both men stopped and stared at each other, one on disbelief, and the other…well, Naruto honestly couldn't decipher the emotions hiding behind Uchiha Sasuke's impenetrable mask.
"Excuse me?" He finally managed, staring owlishly at the raven.
The brunette's sigh was audible. He didn't repeat himself much as Boss Hebi. When he spoke, people tended to listen, and listen well. This blond moron, however, was focused on the perceived rejection and not in Sasuke's words; which meant that he would have to explain, which ought to have grated on his nerves. He found himself in more tolerance as far as the blond was concerned, odd, but useful, so Sasuke didn't question its source.
"You've ruined my shirt, usuratonkachi." The Uchiha said matter-of-factly. "You obviously didn't bring a coat or you would've been wearing it when you came through my door. I will need a small amount of time to select and don a replacement; the same amount of time, I estimate; that you will need to find a coat, and put on your shoes. When I am finished I will join you in the main entryway."
"But…" One pale hand had him by the shoulder and suddenly Naruto was looking blankly at Sasuke from inside the large hallway. "…I…don't…understand…"
The Uchiha let out his quickly becoming signature 'che' and took a step back inside his room. Just before the door closed, Sasuke said. "You've entered my home and forced yourself on me; I will have an explanation, Uzumaki Naruto."
.X.
He was standing dutifully next to the door when Sasuke arrived a minute later, dressed in a fresh, dark blue long-sleeve shirt.
Cobalt blue's followed the Uchiha as he reached into the nearby closet, wrapping his slender frame in a black, blue and white north face before pulling on his shoes.
"Are you ready?" Sasuke straightened up and looked Naruto over. Naruto, for his part, tried not to think about how else that phrase might be used…and failed.
"Y-yeah…" He cleared his throat and then asked. "Um, w-what's going on, Sasuke?"
"I'm giving you the chance to explain yourself." The raven said, heading out the door. "Not something I grant to everyone that pulls the stunt you just did."
He paused a few feet away, and glanced back over his shoulder, waiting for Naruto to fall in step beside him. The blond followed, shutting the door silently behind himself and keeping pace next to the Uchiha as they began to walk down the empty street.
The air was cool, but not unpleasantly so. If not for Sasuke's foresight in telling Naruto to grab one of his own many jackets, the conversation would have had to have been a lot shorter. And Naruto needed this discussion, Sasuke did as well, he was intelligent enough to recognize that, but not in the same way at all. Naruto was very dependent on emotions and for some reason, something had upset the careful balance he'd somehow established. The Uchiha wasn't so vain as to assume his own delicate forays into Naruto's life had been the sole cause. It didn't account for the way Naruto had acted so completely out of character earlier.
From the moment that Naruto forced his way into the raven's apartment, the brunette had known that something was wrong. Nothing had added up to any amount that Sauske was content with, it was the reason that he had backed off when the blond had been to obviously begging for it. And there had been that lingering look of panic in those open blue eyes, the look that he couldn't ignore. He'd gotten enough from the man's actions to surmise that something was bothering the Uzumaki, but finding out what that something was would require more on his part than simply screwing Naruto's brains out. He had to figure out what the problem was…because he couldn't rightly seduce the other man while he was so confused. That was it…That was all.
One night darkened city block disappeared behind them and then two more; neither spoke. It was getting late and they kept walking. Four blocks…five…six… It wasn't until the twelfth that Sasuke decided he'd had enough foreplay…as it were.
"What's wrong Naruto?" The words came out more gently than Sasuke had originally intended. Perhaps the blonds' peculiar behavior was affecting him more than he thought.
"Promise you won't think it's stupid?"
It was a joke, and the Uchiha snorted in response. The tension was dissolving, for that he was grateful. But of what truths might be revealed in wake of that humor, Sasuke was uncertain.
"Nothing…makes sense to me anymore." Naruto said at last. He said it quietly, pausing after that first sentence as if waiting for Sasuke to spit out some insult and walk away from him. But the raven made no comment, walking steadily on, urging the blond to continue with his silence.
"I…feel something; I'm just not sure…what it is. I need to know what this is. I need to figure one thing out, or I'll go crazy. If I don't ground reality in something…I'll lose everything…" He was babbling, but it didn't matter. Everything was coming out and all that the blond could muster in response was: at last.
He hadn't known, he hadn't thought about why, he'd simply allowed himself to react instinctively. He grabbed hold of the first solution that entered his befuddled brain. And now that the adrenaline had worn off; now that he had time to think about what he was doing, he was shocked…he was scared.
"You'll lose everything." The brunette repeated, his tone void of the skepticism Naruto would've received were he talking to Kiba, or Sakura, or any of his other friends. The man was asking a question and challenging his hyperbole at the same time.
Naruto stopped and faced Sasuke, the look in his eyes direct and serious, not something that the raven overlooked. The Uchiha took one more step and stopped as well, his gaze measuring as he waited.
"I've never had much." The blond said it quickly, because if he stopped to take a breath, he didn't know if he would be able to finish. "For the first half of my life, I didn't have anything to call my own; and no one to call me theirs. For years, that was all that I wanted, to be needed, to be wanted, to be the protector, not the one that needed protecting. I-" His voice cracked with emotion, but Naruto was too far in to care. "I got a family; years later, a father, someone who gave half a care about me, and I was happy. And then…" His voice and mind wavered as uncertainty crept through the befuddled pathways of thought. How much could he tell Sasuke? How much could the raven handle?
"I was forced to become the protector, the role that I had wanted, but not in the way that it did." Naruto shook his head. "But for years that was okay and I accepted my fate, trying my hardest to find my fulfillment in that destiny. And I did find it, or at least…I thought that I did." A strange kaleidoscope of emotions swirled in those twin pools of azure, too many for Sasuke to distinguish them all. "I was content with things…looking for that one missing component in my life, but happy with how everything had worked out…And then you happened."
The raven watched, wearily as Naruto brought one hand up to pinch and rub the bridge of his nose. "And now…I'm not sure if I can handle anything like this right now, I'm not sure if you're that missing piece. I don't know if I should even try to keep you here with me, if I'm just tempting fate. I need to figure out if I should just cut my losses and walk away before I get hurt again. And maybe I…attacked you because I wanted to know if what everything you said was true about your, um…skills" Naruto had the grace to blush a little. "…I wanted to know if it would be worth it, to give in to you."
"And…?"
The blond snorted and started walking again, this time leaving Sasuke to catch up, something that the grated against the raven's inbred inability to follow.
"As if you didn't already know the answer to that, jerk. …You had me at the first kiss…" The admission had to have been difficult for someone so unapologetically bound by his ego.
"Still," The blonds' words were hesitant and he stared deliberately away from the raven as he continued. "I don't know if that's enough. We could be good…" He pondered the word choice for a moment. "…great…" The blond chuckled. "What the heck, we would be incredible in bed together…but…"The smile was gone. "…I made the mistake of confusing lust for love once and it nearly destroyed me."
Sasuke arched an eyebrow; he would have to speak to Naruto about his overuse of hyperbole, but later, when the blond was less stressed.
Neither man said anything for a moment. Both content, at least apathetically so, to continue their aimless walking; until at last, Sasuke breached the barrier once more.
"I understand Naruto," The brunette's voice was detached, but strangely, Naruto found comfort in this man's rough words, was soothed by the gentle rumbling baritone pouring into his ears. It was just as reassuring as one of Iruka's hugs.
"You want to know if I fit with your life." The hands in Sasuke's pockets tightened ever so slightly, balling into fists. He could hardly believe that he was saying this. "Then do. Do whatever you feel you have to. I won't stop you."
"Even if I decide that it won't work?"
Sasuke pinned him with the Uchiha equivalent to an incredulous look; it spoke volumes and Naruto understood every mono-syllable. It brought a flush of self-consciousness to the blonds face. That's right, if all that the raven wanted was his backside, the man would've had it a million times by now, the blonds emotional well-being wouldn't have been his concern. They'd be up in his apartment…doing…Lord knew what.
Naruto found himself studying the cracks in the sidewalk intently. He felt awkward for his actions earlier…that was humiliating in hindsight…but that wasn't entirely where the guilt was coming from. He was embarrassed because he hadn't thought before he'd attacked the man next to him. He'd reacted instinctively, one side-effect that he might've been able to blame on Kyuubi, but he knew that it was his own fault.
Naruto's hand snaked up to rub the back of his neck.
"Hey, I was just thinking. I owe you…a…apology for earlier."
"You don't-"
"Don't interrupt me while I'm apologizing, you insensitive jerk!" The blonds quick switch from stand-offish to hopping mad was becoming easier for Sasuke to take in stride, almost disturbingly so.
"It's hard for such a perfect guy like me to admit that he's made a mistake. So just shut up for a second and let me finish!"
The Uchiha folded his arms across his chest…and waited, not pointing out the very obvious 'that's what she said' to the blond man's exclamation. He was an Uchiha, and Uchiha's did not…'that's what she said', they thought it on rare occasions, but never spoke it.
"Look I…um…I'm…" A light flickered on in Naruto's brain. "Weren't you going to take me to dinner or something tonight?"
"The reservation's past." Sasuke didn't bother checking his watch. They'd spent a fair amount of time occupied with their bizzare initiation foreplay. They had already walked a fair piece away from his apartment; he estimated that by the time they both got back to his house, drove to the restaurant he'd chosen, it would be far too late. Besides, he was a little curious to see if the blond would actually bring himself to apologize. Apparently his twisted sense of humor was still very much intact because he found himself subconsciously laying odds. Ironically enough, he wasn't putting money on anything verbal.
"Oh," Naruto wilted visibly and perked back up almost at once. "I've got an idea. How about I make it up to you by taking you out for a drink?"
"Are you sure you are comfortable with that?"
"Sure," Naruto shrugged off the question, but the raven could see the tension in the blonds shoulders beginning to unwind. No matter how much the other man denied it, the made a difference to him, to know that what he felt, his comfort, mattered enough for Sasuke to ask. The Uchiha was one step closer to his goal…of what?
Lust…
"Hn," The raven hummed softly to himself and slowed his pace, allowing Naruto to take the lead. "Then what are we waiting for?"
The blonds answering grin fairly glowed in the night.
"All right! This way."
.XX.
The place was small, tiny in fact. It was a miniscule square made of weather-worn aluminum siding; tucked snuggly into the corner of a side road and an alley.
The plain, poorly wielded iron sign above the door was once lit by twisting neon green tubes of light. Now only about half of the letters still worked, spelling out I-hir-u'- before Sasuke's narrowed eyes. An 's' on the very end flickered on and off, but the remaining letters stayed dark.
Several more signs glowed from out of windows made of old thirty year-old pieces of glass, advertising the poor man's popular beers.
Sasuke felt something akin to trepidation coil in the back of his mind.
"What is this?"
Naruto was already at the entrance, not put off whatsoever by the establishment's grungy exterior. The man flashed his doubtful counterpart one of his trademark easy smiles. "Ichiraku's," He said simply, as if it explained everything and motioned Sasuke to follow. "Come on."
The name meant nothing to Sasuke, but he'd walked for a good twenty minutes to get to this place. He might as well have a drink at the very least before he started the long trek back to his empty apartment.
It didn't have to be empty tonight; the man reminded himself and then immediately shut down that train of thought down. He could've taken the blond and there wouldn't have been any question as to how willing or how much Naruto was enjoying every second. But come the morning…that was the rub. The blond would've bolted, and that was not what Sasuke wanted. He wanted a total conquest, complete domination. The man would beg him for it, stay and then beg for it again as soon as he woke up the next morning.
He could wait for that. Sasuke followed his blond through the door and into the warm light beyond. He was an Uchiha; he knew patience. He could wait until Naruto came on his own and then…
A knowing smirk graced the raven's pale perfect lips.
And then, Naruto...you had best brace yourself.
Author's note: I had originally wrote: "Prepare yourself..." but, well, I think you understand.
Review! Review!
I stayed up for two nights straight just because I felt guilty leaving you guys in such a weird place. You slave drivers! The upside to that is that I also finished one of the essays that I had to do as my final project for one of my classes, so, yeah!
I'm working on chapter 14, like I said, no promise as to when, but I'm doing my best.
TBC...