Sakura's Boarding School Cliché: An Akatsuki x Sakura Fanfiction AU
[Chapter 7]

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING other than the plot!

Deidara and I were dead tired, and didn't talk to each other as we shuffled away from school, like a couple of brain-dead zombies, on our way to the apartment. We waited half an hour for the elevator to haul our carcasses to the thirteenth floor. Once we (finally) made it to the apartment, we dumped our backpacks on the floor.

He mindlessly raided the fridge for a snack and something to drink, and I wandered over to the couch to lie down flat on my back, not even bothering to turn on the T.V. but instead just stared unblinkingly at the light gray stucco ceiling. I was zoned out, and I didn't really give a crap about anything else other than laying down and possibly even dozing off.

It dawned on me. This is only two days into the week, and I'm already worse for wear. How in the hell am I going to survive the next year? I'm going to be eaten alive.

I closed my eyes dismissing my horrid fate, trying to relax and was on the verge of falling asleep. I heard Deidara sit on the floor beside the couch, and he was chomping on some tortilla chips as he turned the T.V. on.

"Want to watch a movie, yeah?"

I stole a chip out of his hand and munched on it.

"Which one?"

"You pick, hmm."

"'Young Frankenstein'?"

"I've never seen it, uhn."

I sat up and stared at him in shock.

"You've never seen 'Young Frankenstein'? Insanity! Under the bed is a box I brought full of movies. Get it and bring that movie here pronto. It's my favorite old movie ever!"

"Ugh. I don't know if I want to watch an old movie."

"Shut up. You told me to pick. I picked. Discussion over, and your argument is invalid. "

He looked at me minutely peeved and stomped into the bedroom. I heard shuffling in there, and I heard him say "I found it. It says it was made in '74. It's not that old. Wait. Didn't they have color in the seventies?".

"Yeah, but it's a parody spoof thingy of the original 'Frankenstein's monster', so they made it in black and white."

"Oh," He muttered as he handed me the movie.

"Now, put it in the PS3."

"You do it, bitch, yeah."

"Gah. Fine. Want to make popcorn? Please?"

I gave him my infamous pout.

"Stop that. I'll make the damn popcorn, hmm."

"I love you, man."

"Bitch, I know it, yeah."

I glared and gave him a purple nurple as I walked back towards the couch from setting up the movie. For those of you who don't know, a purple nurple is when you grab a dude's nipple and twist it hard and then it turns purple. Apparently it's very painful because he yelped and crossed his arms in front of his chest whilst glaring at me.

"What was that for, hmm? Leave my tits alone."

"It's for being overly sarcastic."

"Bitch, uhn."

He smacked me over the head, and I almost fell over.

I pointed my finger at him, and yelled "Domestic violence!"

"You're stupid, yeah. You were being abusive first."

"Shut up, we're suppose to be watching a movie. Now make the fucking popcorn, be-otch!"

He rolled his eyes at me, and walked towards the kitchen.

"Damn, that still hurts, hmm!" He was rubbing his nipple.

"Sor~ry, dude," I called over my shoulder while flicking through channels with the remote to find the right channel that the PS3 works on.

"No, you're not, but if you try that again, I'll give you a purple nurple so you'll know what it feels like. Consider yourself warned, yeah."

"You try that and see if I don't file a police report for sexual harassment."

"You're supposed to be a dude, so you can't unless you want to be totally busted for identity fraud, uhn."

I muttered 'Asshole,' from under my breath.

As soon as the movie was set up, I shut all of the blinds, turned all of the lights off, and went to go get my red and black plaid Flannel pajama pants, and an over-sized, comfy white cotton T-shirt on. I also grabbed the gigantic duvet cover as I headed over to the couch. Consider this movie night.

Deidara brought the popcorn over and went to get his pajamas on. I saw the remaining light that managed to slip through the cracks between the blinds dim, so I looked out the window, and saw some nasty looking storm clouds coming our way. Could our unofficial movie night had any better timing? I think not.

Everything was dark, we had popcorn, the movie was set up, we were getting our PJ's on, and I was going to curl up in a huge blanket on the couch. This was going to be awesome. Deidara walked into the room shirtless and wearing black sweatpants and was carrying a pillow. I flopped onto the couch, and let him know that a thunderstorm was rolling in.

"Sweet, yeah."

He sat next to me on the couch, and I stole his pillow, and got all situated with the duvet.

"Hey, that's my pillow, hmm!"

"Awwh. It's so fluffy though!"

"Then move over! It's big enough for the both of us, yeah."

"Fine, but can you start the movie?"

"Sure whatever, uhn.

He (grudgingly) got off the couch, opened the magnetic glass door on the entertainment center that the TV was set up on, grabbed the wireless controller for the PlayStation 3 system, and shut it with his foot on his way back to the couch. Clearing his throat, he looked down at me expectantly. I rolled my eyes as I scooted over, making me have to share the insanely fluffy pillow and blanket.

The movie started with the beginning credits as a dark, stone castle in a thunderstorm with lightning and thunder at night was the first thing that showed up. You know, the works, as far as corny horror comedies are concerned. For the first few minutes they showed different angles of the castle with the lightning effects and thunder as the credits went across the screen. The names 'Gene Wilder' and 'Peter Boyle' showed up, and Dei asked why those names sounded so familiar. I told him that Gene Wilder was the guy who played Willy Wonka in the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Peter Boyle was the grumpy old guy in Everybody Loves Raymond.

He 'Oh, really?'d at me, and I just nodded and grinned while watching the screen, and grabbing for the popcorn.

About ten minutes into the movie, we were out of popcorn, and I asked if he wanted me to get more popcorn, but he shushed me, not taking his eyes off of the screen. I rolled my eyes and got up to get the popcorn.

'I knew he'd like that movie.'

'It's a shame that he's such a stubborn ass sometimes. I mean sheesh, dude.'

'Haha, totally. 'I don't want to watch an old movie.', my ass.'

'I don't even know how we put up with that boy.'

'Didn't you say that he was hot? Maybe that's why?'

'Outer, you have no idea how proud you have been making me today. First, that kiss, and now you're even thinking like me.'

'Oh, Inner. If only I knew how much fun acting like a shameless hussy was.'

'If only...' Inner sighed dreamily.

'I don't think you understand the concept of sarcasm, my dear.'

'Ughh, come on, Outer, like you didn't love making out for the first time, and find it outrageously, ridiculously, fucktastical that it was with our sexy best friend. I swear that if you deny it, I will disown you.'

'I admit that it was totally fucking wonderful. It was a one-time thing though, right?'

'I fucking hope not.'

The popcorn finished popping, so I took it out, put it in the oversized bowl and then poured some melted butter on it.

'Mmmm. Butter.'

I walked back over to the couch and gave Deidara a 'scooch over' look because he was hogging the couch.

"Move."

"Naw, I don't think I will, hmm." He smiled innocently at me.

Innocent.

Yeah.

Right.

I tried to imagine an innocent Deidara and the only thing that came to mind was him dressed as Glinda the Good Witch from Wizard of Oz.

Oh God. I know the next thing I'm going to draw for art class. Maybe Mr. Akasuna would get a kick out of that. A+ anyone?

I smirked down at him.

"Fine. Be that way."

I sat on his lap along with the blanket, and made sure that no matter where he tried to move to see the screen, I got in the way.

"This a great movie isn't it?"

My voice couldn't hold more satire if the world depended on it.

"You know, you make a better door than a window. You're also really heavy, uhn. Ever think about losing a couple pounds, Sak?"

'That asshole! He knows that we look fucking fine. We got over being chubby years ago. '

'Ahh.. Yes. The Darker Years. Still pisses me off, Inner.'

'Want me to teach him a lesson?'

'Fuck yes.'

Without a moment's notice Inner took over and, I had turned around and my hands wrapped around his throat as I straddled his hips..

"I'm not fat, you dumb asshole!"

As I was strangling him, he grabbed my wrists, and started struggling with surprise and agitation written on his face. I loosened my grip so he wouldn't pass out but so I could keep him there with one hand. A wolfish smirk graced my face with a predatory glint in my eyes.

"Take it back or else!" I grinned maniacally.

"Or else what, you fat fucking psycho, yeah!" He struggled to get out and yell at me.

I aimed to punch him in the gut, but one of his hands stopped it. I wiggled my hand out of his grasp, yet still straddling his lap, and bent his left pinky back a little bit. He gasped a bit in pain.

"Take it back~."

"Fine, yeah."

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't~ quite catch that."

"I said that I fucking take it back, yeah!"

His livid eyes were glowing electric blue like they did whenever he was ticked off. I loved it, and grinned like an animal.

"Good boy. Well, it's been fun, but Outer wants to take control again. Catch you on the flip side." I winked.

"Not so fucking fast, hmm!"

Just as I fast as I let go of his throat and his pinky, he grabbed my throat and flipped me over so that he was sitting on/straddling my hip bones.

"Yes, babe?"

"You."

"Me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"How did you travel from Sakura's mind earlier, yeah?" A drop of sweat ran down his face from this turn of events.

"A magician never reveals their secrets."

"You're not a magician. Now answer my question, yeah!" He tightened his hold on my throat and punched the space on the couch beside my head with his free hand and that caused the popcorn to fly and rain all over us.

"Like I said, honey. Catch you on the flip side."

He growled as I took over again.

"Dei… she's gone. It's me…"

His hold was still on my throat as a growl rumbled in his chest, his face showed fury and frustration as he glared straight into my eyes. I placed my hands on his trying to, not very forcefully, get him to stop attempting to murder me. He didn't move. In fact, he was deadly still. Almost frozen. The only thing that changed was the look in his eyes which held a calculative gaze along with the anger, which was slowly, almost undetectably so, ebbing away. I dejectedly gave up on trying to pry his slightly rough hands from my neck.

I plucked a piece of popcorn out of his hair and put it in his mouth. So much for movie night...