Run and Hide

Disclaimer: The usual: I don't own anything to do with the show. Please don't sue, I can't afford it. ^_^

A/N: To "Anon/Guest" - Jamie isn't "hopeless;" he's working through something that has affected both him and his family in more ways than one. This is psychology - how the mind works and copes with events (good and bad) is just one tiny part of the science of psychology. I'm trying to keep it as real as possible while at the same time attempting to create something that people can (hopefully) connect to and get involved with. This story isn't for everyone, and I never expected it to be. Thanks for your comment, though. :)

Right... it's Canada Day and it's thundering and raining on our fireworks show... so I'll stay home, inside, and update instead. :) Really should change that summary while I'm at it - it really has nothing to do with anything LOL.

Enjoy! :)

Chapter 13

Danny rolled over and stretched, unsure of what had woken him up; he could vaguely remember a thump, like something running into a wall. It was still dark in the room. He glanced at the clock, noticing that it was two-thirty in the morning. He tossed back the covers, deciding that a bathroom run would be a good idea. He shuffled tiredly out into the hallway, nearly bumping into his father who was standing in the middle of the hallway between his sons rooms.

"Dad, what…?"

Frank held up his hand, pointing towards Jamie's door. Danny frowned, taking a step closer to his brother's door. He could hear noise, but couldn't make out what it was. He gave his father a quizzical look. "I don't get it…" he whispered. "What's going on?"

"Nightmare." Frank whispered back. "Happened last night, too."

"So are you just parking yourself in front of his door for the night?" Danny accused, still whispering.

"No." Frank defended himself. "I always wake up sometime during the night. The bathroom is right across from his room."

Danny gave him a look before opening his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by muffled mumbling from inside Jamie's room. He moved closer to the door, straining his ears to pick up the words.

"…don't hurt them… leave them alone, they didn't do anything…" Jamie's voice was thick with unshed tears. Danny's heart squeezed painfully.

"Dad, I have to go in there… I have to wake him up…"

"No, Danny."

"Dad… we can't just let him do this alone."

"We have to."

"He's keeping it all inside. It's tearing him apart!"

"If we go in there and wake him up and start demanding that he tell us what's going on, he's going to run again. I think he's doing this for a reason."

"Why? Why would he not want to tell us what's wrong? Why can't he talk about what happened to him?" Danny asked, still whispering, his voice full of frustration.

Frank looked down. "I think he's ashamed of it. I think he's afraid that we'll think he's weak."

Danny stared at his father. "He's not weak, Dad… he went through hell, we would never think he's weak!"

"You know that, and I know that, but I don't think he knows it."

"So why can't we make him see that?"

"Because I'm afraid to."

"What?" Danny asked incredulously. "Why are you afraid?"

"I nearly lost my son when we couldn't find him, when Caulfield nearly killed him. I nearly lost him again after we found him. I can't lose him to this. I can't be the one to push him away, to force him to talk about something that he doesn't want us to know. I can't handle that, Danny!"

Danny stared at his father, knowing that the pain on his father's face was mirrored on his own. He looked down. "I know, Dad… believe me, I know. I don't want to ruin what has started to build between us. This is the closest we've ever been…"

"There have been moments where I thought he was opening up… then he hesitated and brushed it off again."

"Why didn't you say something to him then?"

"I don't think I'm the one to talk to him about this."

"Then we should find someone for him."

"Do you really think he's going to be willing to just go and talk to someone?"

"He can't keep it all inside!"

"I know, Danny. Let's just wait and see if he'll come to us, then we can try something else."

Danny nodded, staring at Jamie's closed door. "I want to try, Dad."

"Danny, I just told you…"

"I know. I don't want to force him to say anything… I just want to try. He's opened up to me once before, maybe he'll do it again."

"When?"

"Right now, if he's still dreaming. I'll leave it for tomorrow if it looks like he's resting normally."

Frank sighed. "Okay, go ahead… just don't upset him."

Danny nodded, feeling nervous. He cautiously opened Jamie's door, peering over to the bed. Jamie lay on his back, a look of pain written across his features, his brow furrowed. Danny looked back at his father. "Still dreaming." he whispered.

"Alright… be careful, son. Don't push him."

"I won't, Dad." Danny answered, giving his father a nod before closing the door softly. He turned back to the bed. Jamie had rolled over restlessly, his back to him. Danny sat carefully on the bed beside his brother's legs. He watched him, waiting for any sign of alertness. Jamie's fist clenched. Danny swallowed, wondering what kind of hell Jamie was reliving. His eyes gravitated towards his face as Jamie let out a small whimper, a few tears leaking out from beneath his closed lids. Danny leaned forward and placed a hand on Jamie's arm, squeezing gently, hoping to offer some comfort.

"…don't hurt them…" Jamie mumbled.

"Jamie…" Danny murmured. "It's okay, you're safe…"

Without warning, Jamie threw out his arm, catching Danny on the shoulder. Danny nearly slid off the bed in surprise. He quickly caught Jamie's arm as Jamie rolled onto his back. Sweat was beading on Jamie's forehead as he tried to get his arm free.

"Jamie, calm down! Come on, kid, wake up…" Danny pleaded desperately, not wanting to restrain his brother.

Jamie shot up with a gasp, shoving at Danny. Danny landed with a thump on the floor, feeling alarmed when Jamie fell with him, trying to punch him. He grabbed Jamie's fists, pushing him roughly.

"Jamie, stop it! It's me! It's Danny!"

Jamie slowed, breathing hard. "Danny? What are you doing in here? What happened?"

"You were dreaming, kid. Are you okay? Any pain?" Danny worried. He hadn't wanted to struggle with him, but he couldn't think of any other way to get Jamie off of him.

Jamie leaned back against the bed, his hand automatically hovering over his ribs. He shook his head. "No. No pain."

"Are you sure?" Danny asked, indicating Jamie's hovering hand. He leaned back against the bed beside his brother.

Jamie looked down. He gave a brief nod. "It's almost second nature to do this..." he mumbled. "There's no pain."

Danny nodded, waiting patiently for Jamie to say something. Instead, he stayed stubbornly silent. Danny suppressed a sigh. "Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"It might help. It usually helps me to talk about a dream."

"It's nothing." Jamie brushed him off, standing up. He rubbed a hand over his eyes, sitting back down onto the bed.

"You nearly beat me up. That's not nothing." Danny stated, remaining on the floor. He turned so that he was looking up into his brother's face. Jamie glanced at him before lying back down on his back.

"Sorry about that."

"I don't care about that. I just want you to talk to me."

"I'm fine, Danny." Jamie stressed to him, annoyance colouring his voice. "I don't really even remember it much."

Danny knew he was lying. He sighed quietly in frustration. This wasn't working the way he had hoped. Jamie seemed determined to keep it inside. He decided to try a different angle.

"Who's 'them'?"

Jamie looked at him, confusion clear on his face. "What?"

"You were mumbling. You said 'don't hurt them'. Who were you talking about?"

Fear flashed briefly through Jamie's eyes before his features smoothed out. "I don't know, Danny. Like I said, I don't remember much anymore."

Danny fought the urge to retort. He knew his brother was still lying to him. "Jamie…"

Jamie rolled over. "Whatever, Danny. I want to try to get back to sleep. Please go."

Danny stood, looking down at him. "Jamie, I just want to help…"

"You can't help, Danny…" Jamie mumbled so quietly Danny wasn't even sure of what he said. "Leave me alone."

Danny sighed, turning towards the door. He paused with his hand on the handle. "Jamie, if there was something I could have done, could have changed… if I could have taken your place…"

Jamie rolled over quickly, his eyes full of panic. "Don't! Don't say that, don't ever say that!"

Danny held up his hands. "Okay…" he soothed. "Okay, Jamie, I'm sorry. Just relax." He watched as Jamie's eyes closed briefly, opening again to glance briefly at him before he rolled back on to his side. "Kid…"

"Go, Danny. Just go away." Jamie mumbled.

Danny sighed again, disappointment clear on his face and in his stance. He had been so sure Jamie was going to tell him something. He opened the door and stepped into the hallway, softly closing it behind him. The hallway was empty; his father must have gone back to bed. He leaned against the wall in between their rooms, staring up at the light fixture on the ceiling. He closed his eyes. What was Jamie hiding?

~~BB~~

Jamie listened as the door closed softly behind his brother. He rolled over, taking in the empty room. He squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the angry tears away. Why couldn't Danny just leave him alone?

'He's your brother, dumbass.' The little voice in Jamie's head was being snarky. 'He's worried about you, what else do you expect?'

Jamie rolled over onto his other side, frustration pushing the logical voice aside. His eyes turned towards the closet. Getting up, he quietly pulled the desk chair over, standing on it to see into the far back corner of the shelf. He'd left a box there, full of memento's and pictures. He had a small picture album in there with family photos in it. He'd left it there, out of sight, unable to take it with him when he'd permanently moved out. Joe's death was still too fresh at the time, and he'd spent a lot of time avoiding looking at anything that would remind him of his brother. Over time, he'd eventually forgotten the box was there.

He found it, bringing it back to his bed. He sifted through it, smiling lightly as he found old ticket stubs to concerts and sporting events, his medal for track and field that he'd received in grade ten, pictures of him and his friends - a few he'd rather his father didn't see, especially when they involved beer bottles and children at the tender age of sixteen – and the family photo album. He pulled it out, laying it on the bed. He put the lid back on the box, going back to his closet. He found the suitcase that had been loaded up with his clothes and brought over before he'd left the hospital. He put the box inside, feeling that it would probably be safer if it was with him instead of remaining in the closet. He made his way back to bed, crawling beneath the covers. He pulled the album to him, opening it. He flipped through the pages, smiling as he remembered the good times. He had pictures of him and his father, of Erin trying to teach him piano, of Danny trying to teach him basketball – including one of a very bad catch, where Jamie learned that you're not supposed to catch the ball with your face. He could thank Erin for that shot; she thought it was hilarious.

His throat clogged up when he came across a picture of him and Joe. Joe had just graduated from the Academy. His eyes were bright, his face full of happiness. He had an arm thrown around Jamie, who was standing next to him. Jamie's face was full of excitement, his eyes full of pride.

Jamie lay down, hugging the book to his chest. He glanced at the picture again, gently rubbing his thumb over the image of his brother.

"I wish you were here, Joe." he whispered, his voice thick. "I really need you right now…"

His wish unanswered, he hugged the book to his chest again, drifting off into a restless sleep.

~~BB~~

Danny pushed through the door to his room, rubbing his forehead tiredly. He bit back a yelp as he noticed a figure sitting on his bed. He took a step back, his heart thundering.

"Dad!" he squeaked in a whisper. "What the hell are you doing? You nearly scared me to death!"

"Sorry, son." Frank responded, amusement clearly in his voice.

Danny took a seat next to his father. "I thought you'd already gone back to bed."

Frank shrugged. "I tried, but there was no way I could relax. How is he?"

Danny shook his head. "It didn't work, Dad. He brushed me off. Something was clearly bothering him, though. I was trying to ease him awake when he shot up and attacked me."

"I thought I heard a thump."

"That was me."

Frank smirked in response. "He didn't hurt himself, did he?"

"I don't think so. He said he didn't feel any pain when I asked him. He was trying to punch me."

"He must have thought you were Jake."

"Probably." Danny grumbled, wishing again that he could bring Jake back from the dead so that he could wring his neck and then send him back to hell. "I got him calmed down, but he just pretended that he had already forgotten the dream. He wouldn't tell me anything."

"You think he was lying?"

"I know he was." Danny muttered, thinking. "Dad, he was mumbling, saying stuff like 'leave them alone' and 'don't hurt them' but I have no idea who he was talking about. He wouldn't tell me, but I know he remembered exactly who was in his dream. There was fear in his eyes when I asked him about it. He just told me to leave."

Frank nodded sadly. "Anything else I should know?"

Danny paused. "Right before I left, I told him that if I could have changed anything or taken his place, I would have. He panicked, told me to never say that…"

"Like he did with Pops." Frank added thoughtfully.

"Exactly." Danny nodded. "I'm getting the feeling that maybe… maybe he's trying to protect us."

"From what?"

"I don't know. Maybe from knowing the hell he went through. Maybe Jake or one of the others said something to him…"

"Maybe they threatened us. Jake did say that he had broken him… if he used us as part of that…"

Danny growled. "I wish I could kill him again…" he mumbled, scrubbing his hands over his face. "I can only imagine what he said to him…"

"I know, and if Jamie has his way, we won't find out."

~~BB~~

"Kid, come on! We can't start without you!" Danny called, impatiently waving his beer at him. Jamie smirked; nothing was ever fast enough for Danny when food was involved.

"Hold on, Danny. The food will still be there two minutes from now."

"But it'll be cold!" Danny whined. Jamie shook his head.

"I just need to get something from my car. Start without me if you have to."

"Can't start without you, Jamie. Who else is going to say grace?"

"You're capable of it." Jamie muttered. "Then be patient." He called back, louder this time.

Jamie quickly walked outside, heading towards his car on the street. He touched the door handle…

"You might have thought to say goodbye to them."

Jamie whipped around; Jake stared menacingly at him, only a mere few feet away. Jamie shook his head, his heart thundering in his chest. "What are you talking about?"

Jake sneered. "You're pathetic, Reagan. Some cop you are."

"Leave me alone!" Jamie shouted. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"You do that a lot, don't you? You don't let people in on much. You like to fix it yourself."

"I don't know what you're talking about… get away from me!"

Jamie struggled as Jake flew at him, pinning him to his car. Jake leaned in towards his ear.

"I can help with that." he whispered. "Then you'll be able to do it all alone without anyone bothering you…"

Jamie's eyes widened. "No… please don't."

"Why not?"

"Leave them alone… don't hurt them…"

"It'll be quick, I assure you." Jake sneered, stepping away from Jamie.

"They're all I have! Please, don't do it!" Jamie pleaded, tears running down his face. "I'll do whatever you want, just don't hurt them!"

Jake smiled evilly at him, brandishing a small black object with a red button in the middle. "Too late."

Jamie stared in horror, time moving in slow motion, as Jake pressed the button. Jamie turned, a scream tearing from his throat, as his father's house ripped into flames. He whipped towards Jake, only to find himself alone. The neighbouring houses stayed dark.

Jamie shot up, sweat rolling down his neck, a strangled sob lodged in his throat. He couldn't breathe… he struggled to get out from under the covers…

The bed moved as he felt someone sit next to him. He jumped, panic flaring, before he recognized his father. Frank reached out towards him as he watched his son struggle.

"Easy, Jamie." he murmured softly. "Just take a deep breath… let it out…" Frank gently rubbed circles over his son's back, feeling his own anxiety subside as he watched Jamie's breathing even out. Jamie remained hunched over, his hands over his face. "Jamie, please talk to me, son."

Jamie could feel his throat tighten up, another sob threatening to break loose. The flames still danced in behind his closed lids. He stiffened as he felt his father's arms wrap around him.

"It's okay, Jamie." Frank whispered gently. "You'll be okay… just talk to me…" He'd felt his son stiffen as he went to hug him, but slowly Jamie started to relax as he buried his face in his father's shoulder. His breathing hitched.

"I can't..."

"Yes you can, son… please…"

Jamie stiffened again as he pulled away. "No… please, just go…"

"Jamie…"

"Go!"

Frank felt his throat tighten. "Alright, Jamie. I'll go. But you don't have to do this alone…" he trailed off, watching Jamie turn his face away. He sighed, standing up from the bed. He opened the door, stepping out into the hallway, turning back to see his son's tensed body hunch over in the semi-darkness, watching as his shoulders shook with suppressed sobs. He fought the urge to re-enter the room, closing the door soundlessly behind him. He walked to his room and sank slowly onto his bed, tears already rolling down his face.

~~BB~~

"Morning, Dad."

Frank looked up at Danny as he entered the kitchen, immediately reaching for a coffee cup. He smirked as Danny poured the black liquid into the cup, inhaling the aroma. Danny looked at him over the rim.

"What?"

"You need more sleep, son."

Danny shrugged him off. "Coffee will work for now. Where's Jamie? He wasn't in his room when I walked by."

Frank stared down into his own coffee cup. He hesitated. "I don't know."

"Obviously this coffee hasn't worked yet. I could swear you just said you didn't know where he was."

"I did."

Danny stared at him. "Didn't you see him leave?"

"No." Frank sighed. "I was up by six-thirty. He'd left already. His car is gone."

"Have you called him?"

"His phone is off. I've left a few messages."

"Morning, boys." Henry chirped, ambling into the kitchen. He poured a cup of coffee for himself, pausing at the silence he received. He turned, feeling the icy cloud that hung over his son and grandson. "Um… what's going on?"

"Your son just informed me that your grandson is missing again." Danny ground out, shooting a glare towards his father. Frank looked slightly annoyed, but mostly ashamed.

"Don't talk to me like that, Daniel." Frank said tightly. Henry raised an eyebrow.

"Francis… is he right? Is Jamie gone again?" Henry asked, a note of hysteria in his voice.

"Don't jump to conclusions, Pop. I'm sure he's fine."

"Of course, you don't actually know that. You didn't actually see him leave." Danny said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Enough, Daniel!" Frank snapped, standing. Danny took a step back, shame colouring his cheeks. Henry stepped in between them.

"Stop it, you two. This isn't helping anything!" Henry pleaded. "Someone just tell me what's going on!"

Frank sat down again, his body radiating defeat. "Danny's right. It is my fault."

Danny sat down across from him. "Dad, I was angry…" He stopped as Frank held up a hand.

"No, Danny. I think he's upset with me. I screwed up earlier this morning."

"What do you mean?"

"I woke up around four. I just had this feeling something wasn't right, so I got up and looked into his room."

"Another nightmare?" Danny asked.

"Yes. It was a bad one. He was sweating and restless, and he kept mumbling something, though I couldn't make it out. I sat down in his desk chair waiting for him to wake, or else I was going to wake him up myself. Right before I was about to give in, he shot awake. He was struggling, probably still half in the dream, and he couldn't catch his breath. I got him calmed down, tried to get him to talk to me…" Frank trailed off, his throat closing around his words.

"What happened?" Danny asked softly.

"He told me he couldn't talk about it… and he told me to leave." Frank sighed. "He wasn't okay, but I just couldn't force him… I don't know how badly he would have reacted."

"Have you phoned him?" Henry piped up, his voice weak.

"His phone is off."

The three men stared at each other, afraid of what Jamie was going through. None of them could believe he'd run off again. Not after what happened the last time.

~~BB~~

"Reagan, this is ridiculous! Do you even know what time it is?"

"Seven-thirty?"

"Thank you, smartass. That's not the point." Renzulli grumbled, scrubbing tiredly at his eyes, the phone clutched in his hand. It was his day off and he had been looking forward to sleeping in.

"Sorry, Sarge." Jamie answered, a smirk in his voice. "Please? Will you do this for me?"

Tony sighed. "Fine, Jamie. Where are you?"

"My apartment."

"I'll pick you up."

"I can drive…"

"No. I'll pick you up." Tony told him firmly. "I'll be there in half an hour. Stay put!"

"Yes sir." The line went dead.

Tony sighed, glancing over at his wife. She cracked an eye open sleepily.

"Who was that?"

"Jamie."

"Is he okay?"

Tony sighed. "I don't know, honey. I'm going to go see him."

"That's fine." She mumbled, getting comfortable again. A soft snore filled the air. Tony grumbled to himself, jealous.

"Damn rookies will be the death of me!"

~~BB~~

"Thanks, Sarge." Jamie smiled gratefully as he climbed into Tony's car.

"I can't believe you want to do this, Reagan."

"I have to." Jamie mumbled, a small frown marring his face. Tony glanced at him, concerned.

"Why?"

"I… I just have to do it. For me."

Tony nodded, pulling away from the curb. "Okay. I'll take your word for it."

Silence filled the car as Tony concentrated on driving. Jamie stared out the window, his body tensed and heart thumping. He couldn't believe he was going to do this, either, but he felt it was something he needed to do. He stared at the city whizzing by, time stretching on further.

His heart thumped uneasily as they turned onto a gravel road. They pulled up in front of an old farmhouse, the peeling paint and unkempt yard making him believe that no one could have been here after all.

Tony swallowed nervously, his own thoughts flashing back. He watched as his young friend took a steadying breath and opened the door. The door had slammed shut before he could even get his seat belt off. He scrambled out of the car, hurrying after Jamie as he took purposeful strides towards the house. Tony nearly bumped into him as he stopped at the bottom of the steps.

"Your father shot Jake right about here." Tony told him quietly. Jamie nodded, swallowing. There were no signs left that anyone had been there, much less that someone had been shot and killed.

Jamie took another breath and started up the stairs, pushing through the open door. There were stairs leading down into a darkened basement. To the left was the kitchen, dusty and dirty. Only a few dishes were left to indicate that anyone had been there. Flies buzzed around the stale food left on the plates. Jamie turned away, staring down the stairs. He could hear Tony's quiet breathing behind him.

"Jamie, you don't have to do this…"

"Yes." Jamie said firmly. "I need to. I need to see for myself."

Tony sighed, unconvinced. "Okay, but we leave the minute you start feeling uncomfortable."

"Already there, Sarge." Jamie mumbled, taking a couple of nervous steps down towards the basement. Time seemed to slow as he reached the landing, Tony right behind him.

"We found you right through this door… Jamie?"

Jamie was walking slowly towards the end of the short hallway, towards another door that stood partially open. He pushed it, his eyes sweeping the room. They landed on a box on the far side of the room, its lid partially ajar. Jamie's breathing picked up pace…

The walls seemed to move in towards him as he fought to get out… he desperately punched and kicked at the walls of the box, hoping they'd splinter. His breath shortened as his heart threatened to choke him…

"Jamie!"

Jamie jumped, whipping around to face Tony, who had reached out and grasped his shoulder. He'd been trying unsuccessfully to get his attention for nearly a minute. Jamie shook his head, pushing past his worried Sergeant.

"It's okay, Sarge. I'm fine."

"Like hell you are." Tony muttered under his breath, following his partner closely. They stopped in front of the room that Jamie had been found in. The door was open, revealing the small window high up on the wall.

Jamie stepped through, smelling the familiar dank and dusty atmosphere of the room. The water bottles, one still partially full, sat off to the side. The chair, rope still visible, sat on the other. Jamie walked over to the far side of the room, near the tiny bathroom. The floor was still stained with dried blood. His blood. Jamie felt the bile rise in his throat.

"Jamie…" Tony fretted. "I really don't think this is helping…"

"Sarge…" Jamie trailed off, his breath hitching. His mind was forcing him back to face the pain, to face Jake as he attempted to kill him…

'No, you're not going to control me anymore!' Jamie thought angrily, Jake's sneering face popping up in retaliation. 'You can't hurt me anymore… you can't….'

Tony watched as his partner paled dramatically. His hands shook as he clenched a fist. One look at Jamie's face told him he was reliving the hell he had gone through. He clenched his jaw, wishing he could beat the crap out of Jake. Slowly, so as not to startle Jamie, he stepped forward, reaching out and gently taking his arm.

"Jamie, come on. We've got to go…" he murmured softly. Jamie was staring at the brownish stain on the floor. "Come on, kid… please snap out of it…"

Jamie suddenly turned, hurtling out the door and up the stairs. Tony stood, startled, moving only when he heard the front door slam. He took off after Jamie, not wanting to spend another second in that room. He pushed through the front door, searching for his partner, only to find him kneeling off to the side over a patch of dead shrubs. He knelt down next to him and placed a hand on his back, waiting for him to stop heaving.

"I'm sorry…" Jamie mumbled.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, kid." Tony told him, gently hauling him to his feet. He kept a hand on his shoulder as he led him over to the car. "Did anything help?" he asked as he opened the door for him.

Jamie sat down heavily, staying silent. Tony sighed as he closed the door and got in on the driver's side, starting the car and pulling away. Jamie leaned his head back against the headrest.

"I came here because I thought I could prove to myself that Jake can't control me anymore…" Jamie trailed off, turning to stare out the window at the scenery passing by. "But he does… I still can't get past… every time I think about it or see something that reminds me… he's still there, Sarge…" Jamie voice was clogged with tears he refused to shed.

"Jamie, don't. You're going to get through this, I know you will. You will show that bastard that he is nothing. You will show him that you are so much better than he is… you will come through this stronger than ever. I know it."

Jamie glanced over at him. He nodded, unsure of what to think. The rest of the ride was silent, each lost in their own thoughts. After what felt like hours, Tony pulled up in front of Jamie's building. It was nearly noon.

"Thanks, Sarge. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Not so fast, Reagan. I'm coming up with you."

"That's not really necessary…"

"You still look like you could pass out any minute, though I'll admit that's a giant step up from where you were at the farmhouse."

Jamie cracked a small smile. He nodded in agreement. "Fine. I haven't cleaned in ages. You've been warned."

Tony scoffed. "You're a neat freak, kid. How could it have gotten dirty when you're not even there?"

Jamie let out a chuckle. "Whatever, Sarge. Come on up if it suits you."

"Suits me just fine." Tony said, sauntering after his partner. They entered the building, heading for the elevator. Jamie hesitated.

"Let's take the stairs."

Tony looked at him quizzically, but shrugged in agreement. "Okay, whatever you want."

They headed up the stairs to the fifth floor, Tony huffing and puffing by the time they got to the landing. Jamie smirked at him.

"You're out of shape, Sarge." he teased. Tony glared in response, but softened it with a smile. He was just happy that Jamie was acting normally.

"Now see, if you just lived on the first floor…"

"Where's the fun in that?" Jamie asked, unlocking his door. "You can't get any exercise that way."

"Whatever." Tony grumbled, pushing his friend towards the couch. "Sit. I'll get you something. Are you hungry?"

"No, not really."

"Something to drink?"

"Water." Jamie answered. "Really, this is unnecessary… it my apartment!"

Tony waved him off. "Just want to help." he said, pressing a glass of water into Jamie's hand. He sat down next to him. "Kid… did you let your father know you were doing this? Or Danny?"

Jamie fiddled with the glass in his hand. "No…"

"You just left?"

"Yes… I was going to call them later."

"Jamie…" Tony sighed.

"I'm going to go back there soon. I just need some time." Jamie defended himself.

"Okay, okay. I get it." Tony replied, holding up his hands. He watched as Jamie stared down at his water glass. He was positive that he was hiding something, but couldn't tell what. "Jamie… I'm going to go get your mail for you, okay? It's probably been building up."

Jamie nodded. "Sure. Thanks, Sarge."

"Anytime." Tony said, standing and heading for the door. Once he got down the hall, he pulled out his cellphone, dialing a number that would connect him to a person that he was secretly terrified of. The ringing stopped as the person picked up.

"Hello?"

"Commissioner?"

"Sergeant Renzulli?"

"Yes, Sir. I'm with Jamie… I just thought you should know that."

He heard a sigh of relief, and mumbled voices talking at the other end of the line. Finally, Commissioner Reagan came back. "Thank you, Tony. Is he okay? What happened?"

Tony hesitated. "He… he wanted me to go with him… back to the farmhouse." he stuttered, listening to the silence on the other end.

"Did… did he say why?"

Tony hesitated again. If Jamie found out about this phone call, he was sure that he would be toast. "I don't think that's really my place to say…"

"Sergeant…" Frank said, a note of warning in his voice. Tony swallowed nervously.

"He wanted to prove to himself that Jake doesn't control him anymore." he said in a rush. More silence on the other end.

"Do you think it worked?" Frank asked, his voice sounding tired and worried.

"I… no, I really don't."

"Okay… where are you now?" Frank sighed.

"At his apartment. I'm sure he'll come back to you after he's had some time to himself."

"Alright. Tell him… tell him I'm sorry."

Tony frowned, confused. "Okay, Commissioner. I'll do that."

"Thank you, Sergeant. And thank you for calling me."

"You're welcome, Sir." he replied. The line went silent as Frank hung up. Tony sighed, closing his phone. He entered the elevator, going down to the first floor mailboxes to grab Jamie's mail. He took the bundle back up to Jamie's apartment.

"You've got a lot here, kid." Tony replied, entering the living room. Jamie looked up, smirking.

"Maybe you could help me pay some of the bills." he teased. "You've helped with everything else."

"Ha, that's funny, Reagan." Tony grumbled teasingly. "You're on your own for that." He handed over the stack of papers and envelopes. Jamie quickly sorted them, tossing the junk onto the coffee table and feeling dismayed over the bills.

"Damn… are you sure you can't help? Some of these are late; they're going to be expensive."

"That's not my problem." Tony teased. Jamie glared mockingly at him.

"Fine."

"Kid… are you going to go back to your father's place later?"

"Yeah, I'd better. I didn't leave on a good note." Jamie mumbled. Tony nodded, pretending to have no idea what he was talking about. "You phoned him, didn't you?" Jamie asked. Tony blushed.

"Yeah… I'm sorry, kid. I couldn't help it. I was sure they'd be going crazy worrying about where you were."

Jamie nodded. "I know… and thanks."

Tony smiled. "Your father says he's sorry. I'm sure you know what he means by that, even if I'm clueless."

Jamie smirked. "Yeah, I know."

"Do you want a lift over there?"

"No, I'll be fine. I have my car."

"Are you okay to drive?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. See?" Jamie held out his hands. "No shaking."

Tony grinned. "Fine, kid. If you change your mind, call me."

"I will. Thanks, Sarge… I couldn't have done it without your help."

"Anytime." Tony smiled. "Listen, I'd better get going, my wife had chores for me to do today." He made a face, making Jamie laugh. "She'll kick me to Pluto and back if I don't do them." He sighed dramatically before sobering. "My phone's open, kid. Any time you want, for any reason."

Jamie nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, Sarge."

Tony smiled again before heading towards the door. The door closed softly behind him as Jamie lay down on the couch. He fell into a tired but restful sleep.

~~BB~~

"I thought Jamie would be back by now." Danny worried. It was nearly seven in the evening. Danny had gone to work and come back at the end of his shift, only to find that his brother still wasn't there.

"He just needed some time." Frank replied, trying to ignore the worry that kept poking at his brain. He had taken a sick day to wait at home, hoping that his son would come back. His father had waited patiently beside him.

"So you told me earlier." Danny grumbled. "What possessed him to go out there?"

"I wanted to prove I was okay." Jamie replied, stepping through the front door. He'd heard Danny's question as he'd cracked the door open.

"Jamie!" Danny said, startled. He hadn't even heard the door open. He turned, wanting to grab his brother in a hug but he restrained himself. "You okay, kid?"

Jamie smiled. His short nap had turned into a five hour sleep. He'd made himself dinner before coming back to his father's place. He felt more awake now than he had in a long time. "Yeah. I'm good."

Danny nodded, having to admit to himself that Jamie looked better now than he had in the last few days. "That's good, then." he smiled.

"Welcome home, son." Frank said. Jamie smiled at him.

"I'm sorry about this morning, Dad." he said, glancing at his brother. "Danny…"

Danny smiled, waving him off. "Don't even mention it, kid. I've forgotten already."

"I wish I knew what you were talking about." Henry grumbled, smiling at his grandson. He pulled Jamie into a quick hug. "Welcome home, kiddo."

"Thanks Grandpa."

"I hate to leave you guys already, but Linda's probably waiting for me and I promised the Sean I'd help him with his science project."

Jamie snorted. "Good luck with that."

Danny made a face at him. "I'm better at it than you might think."

"Sure, Danny. Whatever you say."

Frank smiled, listening to his boys banter back and forth. He still wasn't convinced that Jamie's troubles were over, but this was a start. Even if all he could get was tiny baby steps, he'd take them.

Anything to get his son back to him, safe and sound and feeling like normal.

~~TBC~~

A/N 2: I know this seems like it's taking forever... (and it is for me, too, considering that I've hit a wall and haven't written in over a week). The reality of it is, a lot of people deny that something is wrong. A lot of people keep things hidden inside for their own reasons, even if they seem dumb or unreasonable to anyone on the outside, which I've hinted at. But he's starting to break open now, if you've noticed. :) On another note - no one was curious as to the supposed theme song I mentioned in the last chapter? LOL ;) No matter, I'll probably try to find a way to incorporate it into the story, hopefully in a way that will keep me from getting kicked off the site. ;)