We went inside where Tokio Hotel was playing and started to mosh.

"You get up and somebody tells you where to go to, when you get there everybody's telling you what to do!" screamed the female lead singer (AN: seriously, the band, especially the lead singer, look like drag queens.) on the stage. We did the devil fingers. I started to dance really close to Satan. He was so sexy!1 He looked at me all emo. Suddenly the girl stopped singing.

"I wood like to peasant…Rainy Coast!11" he said. I ran onstage. Carlisle, Samara, Charlie and Billy were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstage.

"Well if u wonted honesty that's all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I don't own the lyrics 2 that song) My voice sounded like a pentagram between Amy Lee and a girl version of Gerard Woy. Everyone clapped. Satan got an eructation. "I'M NUT

OKAY!1" I sang finally. Suddenly Carlisle started playing the song wrong by mistake.

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wat?"

"Woops I'm sorry!" said Carlisle.

"You *beep*!1" James shouted angrily.

"U guys are such prepz!11" Carlisle said. "Cum on it was a mistake!1"

"Yah it's not his fault!11" said Billy.

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samara.

"U guys stop!11" I shouted angrily but it was 2 late. They all began to fight. Suddenly Samara took out his knife.

"OMFG no!11" shouted Lucan but it was 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm. And den…I jumped sexily in front of the bullet!11

"No!111" yielded everyone but it was 2 late suddenly everything went black.

I, the spineless idiot Sue, coughed up blood. Edward kneeled down beside me.

"No! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fulfill my duty as Stephenie Meyer's personal fantasy."

Edward sobbed. "I love you Bella."

"I love you too. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black. Alice Cullen suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Bella's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became even paler than she already was. She screamed for the vampires, Charlie, Esme, and every single poorly developed character she could think of. Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Bella. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate. When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more than a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NO!!" filled the room. A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and they were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed. All the Twilight series books ever produced were burned and, in their place, were replaced by the works Shakespeare, Wilde, and other respected literary heroes. When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of this trash, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong that sh*t is gone...' Well, that is, until all the halfway decent books were realized to never deserve to be placed next to that pile of literary slime. All the characters in the series fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Good and Evil started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax. And, because the author also likes to screw around with Harry Potter, Harry and Malfoy fled the scene and got married.

Meanwhile... Down in hell, Bella shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of storytelling time. She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down. She looked around the Biology classroom, but could not see Edward. She asked herself in confusion. And then it occurred to her...she was back in her old school in Phoenix. Around her were students bearing tanned bodies. No one had topaz eyes, or eyes with purple shadows under them. And then Bella realized, there was no person bearing any resemblance to the Cullens or the Hales. Bella suppressed the urge to scream. Here she was in sunny land, sitting in a classroom listening to a teacher explaining the learning material. Panicked, Bella hastily tried to get up and walk out of the classroom, but she could not move. Bella frowned, and looked around the room. All she saw was a classroom full of human teenagers. Bella tried to stand up again. But to her frustration, she was paralyzed.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Bella bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocritical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here. Bella wished there was a vampire next to her and mumbled to herself, "I'm so sad!" The end.

---

I woke up in the Norse's office on a special coffin. Sam was in the bed opposite me in a coma coz Jacob and Edward had bet him up. Mr. Varner was cleaning the room.

"Oh mi Satan what happened!" I screamed. Suddenly James came. He looked less mean then usual. "Get out u bastard!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killed Jacob yet!11" he said angrily. Suddenly he started 2 cry al selective.

"James? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked. Suddenly…Carlisle, Miss Varner and Billy came! Alice and Jacob were with them. Every1 was holding black boxes. JAMES DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Bella you're alive!111" Screamed Jacob. I hugged him and Alice.

"What happened?" I asked them. "Oh my satan!11 Am I like a vampire now?" I gasped.

"Bella u were almost shot!11" said Billy. "But the ballet could not kill u since u were form another time."

"But fangs anyway!1" said Carlisle holding out his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

"OMG I cant believe Jacob's dad shot u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be honest Carlisle was possessed by Carlisle back den." said James.

"Yah he was a spy." Billy said sadly. "He was really a Vulture."

"And he was such a poser 2!11" said Carlisle. "He didn't even really no who GC was until I told him." Well anyway everyone started 2 give me presents. I was opening a black box with red 666s (there was a DVD of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Varner looked up angrily coz he h8ed vampires.

"Hey has anyone seen Edward?" I asked.

"No Edward told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Miss Varner. "He doesn't know that you're better. Anyway the nurse said u could get up. Cum on!1" I got up. Carlisle, Billy and Miss Varner left. I left the hospital with Alice, Jessica and Jacob.

"OMFG let's celebrate!11" gasped Jessica.

"We can go c Hose of Wax with Edward!1" giggled Jacob.

"Let's go listen 2 GC and cut ourselves 666!11" said Alice. We opened the cafeteria door. And den…I gasped…Edward was there doing it with Carlisle!

"U prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shouted Jacob angrily as he took out his black gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Edward sadly.

"No u suck u preppy bastard!111" said Jessica trying 2 attack him. I ran to my room I sexily took a steak out.

"Bella no!11111" screamed Edward but it was 2 l8 I had ate it. Suddenly everything went black again.