Standard Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight or any of the characters from the story. All song selections have been provided by my amazing beta, NoWayWithWords. She is the greatest! She has set up a YouTube playlist that includes the songs chosen for the chapters. If you would like to check it out, see my profile for the link.

The song for the chapter is "Do You Know" by Tonic.

Chapter 38 – Unanswered Questions

I was sitting at the breakfast bar watching Esme fix pancakes when Rose called to talk about the flight arrangements she had made for my trip to LA. The Grammy's were going to be on a Sunday night, so she planned for me to fly to LA on Saturday morning and fly home on Monday afternoon. Apparently she was having some trouble finding hotels nearby, because all of the good ones were booked up.

Esme turned toward me and said, "Bella, why don't you stay at our house, with me and Carlisle? We have plenty of room. You can bring Lucy and Mason with you. Carlisle can't wait to get to hold his grandson. We can watch them for you while you go to the show."

I thought about it for a moment and told her, "I'd love to, but I'll have Emmett with me."

"That's fine. We have room for him. He can stay too. You can catch a limo from our house to the show. I know of a good limo company that will pull some strings to make sure they keep me happy. I'll give them a call."

"That would be wonderful, Esme. Thank you."

I relayed the information to Rosalie, who was relieved that we had somewhere to stay. She was concerned that I was going to have to stay in some flea bag motel and that the press would make a big deal of it. She was also concerned about the limo situation, because she had yet to find a company that wasn't booked up for that weekend.

Esme left a week before I was scheduled to fly to LA, so she would have a few days to make it back home and get ready. Since she was driving, I sent most of the bulky stuff I would need with her, like my dress and other clothes, a play pen that converted into a baby bed, and some toys to entertain Lucy. That way all I had to worry about was two kids, two car seats, and an overstuffed diaper bag. I wouldn't have to worry about dealing with the additional luggage.

A few days before I was scheduled to fly to LA, I had to take Mason in to the pediatrician for his checkup and make sure he was ok to fly. The pediatrician warned me that I ran a risk of exposing him to colds and other germs on the plane due to re-circulated air, and said that the change in pressure might make his ears hurt which could make him cry, and recommended giving him a bottle to drink during take-off and landing. Other than that, he said he was good to go.

While I was there, he warned me about the possible problems I could have flying so early after delivery. He said I could develop blood clots in my legs, and suggested that I get up and walk around a few times during the flight to help prevent that from happening.

Before I left the doctor's office, he reminded me about the airline's policy regarding taking liquids. He recommended that if I was planning on taking any formula for Mason, I should probably take the powdered form, which I could easily mix with water during the flight. That way I wouldn't run into any hassles getting bottles through security. I hadn't thought about that little detail. I had been pumping extra milk and storing it in the refrigerator for Esme to feed Mason while I was out at the show. If I planned on taking that with me, I would have to make sure I poured it into little three ounce containers and had some way to keep it cool.

That made me think about what I was going to do if my breasts started to leak while I was at the Grammy's. I didn't want to ruin my dress. I would definitely need to take some absorbent pads to tuck in my dress. I contemplated whether or not I could get away with taking a purse and sticking the battery operated breast pump in it, so I could slip off to the ladies room if it became too uncomfortable. This sounded like the best idea. The pump that I had was relatively small and wasn't horribly noisy. I just had to find a nice purse to carry it in.

I called Alice to ask for her help in finding a purse that would look good with my dress and be big enough to hide the breast pump. Alice called around and eventually came up with an antique clutch purse made of intricate patterns of sterling silver. She somehow managed to convince the owner to let me borrow the purse on the condition that I bring it back and pose for a picture with it. If anyone asked me where I got it from, I was supposed to mention his shop. It worked for me. The guy even polished it for me, so I wouldn't have to worry about getting into all the tiny little details.

Emmett and Rosalie arrived at my house the day before we were set to leave. Rosalie was going to stay at my place while we were gone, so she didn't have to drive all the way back to Port Angeles by herself. She and Alice planned a spa day and then they were going to crowd around the TV and watch the Grammy's to see if they showed me on TV and whether or not I won anything.

Emmett, Rose, Lucy, Mason, and I all crammed into Rosalie's car and headed to the airport. With two car seats, there wasn't much room in the back for me, but we managed. When we got to the airport and had to mess with the kids and the car seats, we realized just how much of a pain in the ass it was going to be to haul it all onto the plane. Emmett had his duffle bag of clothes on his shoulder, the diaper bag on the other shoulder and was carrying the car seat attachment that hooked to Mason's carrier and Lucy's regular car seat. I had Lucy on one hip and was carrying Mason in the carrier with a blanket covering him, because he was asleep.

It took us a little while to make it through security because the line was really long. While we were waiting, no one seemed to notice who I was. I was wearing jeans, a sweatshirt, sunglasses, and had my hair up hidden beneath a ball cap. I know it sounds cheesy, but it worked. I managed to make it on the plane without anyone saying a word.

It was onl hour flight, so it wasn't that bad. Mason woke up half way through the flight and was hungry, so I picked him up out of the carrier and put a blanket over him so I could feed him. Emmett seemed a little surprised that I was breast feeding Mason right there in my seat, but I didn't care. It wasn't like I had my boob hanging out in the open. I was completely covered up with the blanket.

After he ate, Mason went back to sleep and stayed that way for the rest of the flight. I was thankful that he didn't soil his diaper on the plane. I didn't think anyone wanted to smell that for any extended time. When we arrived in LA, the flight attendant helped us get our things together and carried Lucy's car seat off of the plane, so we wouldn't block the aisle while everyone else was trying to exit the plane as well.

Lucy was tired and ready for a nap, so I picked her up and tried to keep her balanced as I toted Mason along in his carrier. She was really getting to be heavy and as soon as I started to walk, she passed out cold. This meant she was getting floppy in my arms. I really needed two arms to make sure I didn't drop her, but then I had no way to carry Mason.

Emmett was having a hard enough time trying to juggle the car seats and the bags as he walked, so I didn't want to ask him for help. As we made it to the passenger pick up area, I was relieved to see Carlisle and Esme waiting for us. Carlisle came over and helped Emmett, while Esme took the sleeping Lucy from my arms.

We headed out to Carlisle's SUV and got the seats secured in place. Emmett and Carlisle were both completely clueless about how to install the car seats, so Esme and I handed the kids off to them so we could do it. Once everything was set up, Emmett put Lucy in her seat and hooked her in. She didn't even notice she had been moved.

When I turned to get Mason, I found that Carlisle had sat the carrier on the hood of the car and was standing there talking to him. Mason was awake and holding Carlisle's finger. I heard his voice crack as he said, "He looks just like Edward." I noticed a tear slip down his cheek. He turned to Esme and said, "He doesn't know what he's missing."

Before he could say anything else, Esme said, "Come on, Carlisle; let Bella put him in the car. You can love on him some more when we get him home."

Carlisle glanced over at me and suddenly looked embarrassed. "Sorry. You're right. Let's get everyone home. This isn't the time or the place for this discussion."

I loaded Mason in the car and climbed in. The SUV had three rows of seats, so Emmett and I sat in the very back because the middle seat was taken up with both car seats. It was still much better than us cramming into Rosalie's little sedan. I told myself that I definitely needed to upgrade to an SUV or a minivan soon.

Traffic around LA was horrible. It felt like it took forever for us to make it to Carlisle and Esme's house. I had never seen their house before, so I was surprised to see that it was almost a mirror image of Edward's house. They lived in the next neighborhood over from Edward. This made me a little nervous, because I wasn't ready to run into him just yet. Thankfully, I was only in town for the weekend and figured he would be busy with his girlfriend.

When we went inside, I found that Esme already had the playpen/baby bed set up for Mason and even had a play area set up for Lucy. I carried Lucy up to a spare bedroom with two twin beds. I figured we would share that room and let Emmett have the other spare bedroom with the queen sized bed in it.

When I came back downstairs, Carlisle was holding baby Mason and humming to him. He looked like he was holding the most precious thing on the planet. Esme was taking pictures of them. I went over and took the camera from her so I could get a few pictures of them together with Mason.

While Lucy was sleeping and Esme had Mason, I decided to lie down and take a nap myself. Emmett and Carlisle were downstairs talking about who knows what, so I slipped off to catch some sleep. I didn't even hear my phone ringing, so I was surprised when I woke up and found that I had three missed calls from Rose. The first one was her making sure we made it safely. The second was Rose asking us to call her back. The third message was a little more cryptic.

"Bella, hey, call me when you get this message. The phone is ringing off the hook. You were spotted in the airport and your picture is on the internet. I know we discussed not hiding anymore, but what do you want me to say? Are we just going to say that you have a new baby? What are we going to say when they ask about the father? Have you confirmed that Edward knows? Is he going to deny that the baby is his? If he denies it, that could lead to some seriously bad press that neither of you need right now. Call me."

I sent Rosalie a text message telling her that I was going to talk to Esme and Carlisle to find out exactly what Edward knew and I would get back to her.

When I got downstairs, I found that neither of them were home and Emmett was asleep on the couch. There was a note on the table beside him.

Emmett/Bella,

Lucy woke up, so we took her and Mason over to meet our neighbors. We'll be back before Mason's next feeding. Enjoy the break. There is plenty of food in the kitchen. Feel free to make yourself a snack if you get hungry. I'm cooking pot roast for dinner.

Esme

I knew I had nothing to worry about. Esme had taken care of the kids enough that I felt comfortable with her watching them. My only concern was whether or not Lucy would be on her best behavior for the strangers. Sometimes she could be a little argumentative, especially when it came to anything regarding her brother. Lucy was extremely protective of him.

Since I had time, I called Rosalie and told her that I had not spoken to Esme or Carlisle, but I would talk to them that evening. I told her to ignore the calls for now and that we would come up with something after I had a chance to speak to them. If they hadn't told him yet, I wanted to wait to make an announcement until after I'd told him myself and seen his reaction. If they had told him, I wanted to know what he thought about it before I said something. If he was denying that Mason was his, I might just say that I had a baby from an anonymous donor, though anyone who did a little digging would know that I listed Edward as Mason's father on the birth certificate.

While I was talking to Rose, she reminded me that it would probably be a good idea for me to practice walking in my heels, since I had been in flat shoes for the last six months. She warned me that they would probably hurt my feet and suggested I slip a couple of small Band-Aids in my purse, just in case I started to blister.

I wasn't too concerned about the shoes giving me blisters. I was wearing the same black and silver shoes I wore on the concert tour. They were still in great condition and my dress pretty much covered them up, so I wasn't worried. My concern was whether or not I would be able to gracefully go up and down the stairs in my dress. The skirt didn't flare out until just above mid thigh, so I would have to bend over slightly and to pick it up. If I didn't pick it up, I could step on it when I tried to go up the stairs. If I had thought about it earlier, I would have had them take a little more length off, but it didn't cross my mind until it was too late.

Esme and Carlisle came back about an hour later, just as Mason was starting to get cranky and wanted to eat. They brought some friends with them and announced that more were on the way. They had decided to have an impromptu dinner party, to show off the kids. I waited until Esme stepped into the kitchen, away from her guests, to talk to her privately.

"Esme, does Edward know about Mason? Every time I tried to talk to him about it, I would get so upset that I almost lost the baby, so I never actually told him myself," I admitted.

Esme said, "Why do you ask, dear? Are you concerned about him saying something to you at the Grammy's?"

"Is he going to be there?" I hadn't considered that we might run into each other while we were there. I hoped that they didn't seat us together. That would be awkward.

"Of course he's going to be there. He's up for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance and Album of the Year. Didn't you see the announcement of all of the nominees? They had a huge concert at the beginning of December when they made the announcement. You should have been invited."

"Rosalie didn't tell me that I was nominated until Christmas."

"You didn't look it up online?"

"No, I guess I just didn't think about it. I didn't want to know who my competition was. I honestly doubt I will win. I just didn't want to crush my hopes too soon. There are so many extremely talented musicians out there and I'm still pretty new at it. I'm just honored that I was nominated in the first place."

Esme smiled warmly. "It is an honor. You should be proud of yourself. I know that I'm very proud of you. Many performers get their first taste of stardom and let it go to their heads. They get mixed up in drugs and excessive drinking and blow all of their money on stupid things. Soon they find that they have nothing to show for all that they accomplished. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I just hope that you stay that way."

Just then, the kitchen door opened and a couple of women came in with dishes of food that they had brought to add to the feast that we were all going to share for dinner. Esme diverted her attention to her guests and thanked them for bring the dishes. They all got to gossiping about something or another, so I slipped out of the kitchen.

It wasn't until I made it through the door that I realized that Esme never answered my question. She somehow managed to redirect the conversation back to me and effectively told me nothing. She was a sneaky one, that Esme. I would have asked Carlisle about it, but he was standing in a group of people. During the short time I had been standing in the kitchen with Esme, the number of guests had tripled.

Everyone fawned over Lucy and Mason. I was relieved that Lucy was in fact being very well mannered. She even remembered to say please and thank you. I was so proud of her. During dinner, she tasted everything I put on her plate, and didn't make a big deal about things that she didn't particularly care for. One of the ladies brought a cheesecake that Lucy absolutely loved. After she finished her tiny slice, she asked if she could have some more. Then she announced that she wanted cheesecake for her birthday.

I tried to stay up, to ask Carlisle and Esme about what Edward did or did not know about Mason, but as soon as I went upstairs and put Lucy to bed, I fell asleep. Everyone was in bed by the time I woke up for Mason's feeding.

The next morning, both Esme and Carlisle were gone. Esme left a note saying that she had to run a few errands but she would be back before I had to leave. Carlisle was at the hospital working and wouldn't be home until later that night. That left me still clueless about what Edward knew, so I called Rosalie to let her know that I had no answers.

We decided to state that we were not going to make any announcements until the following Tuesday, when I had a chance to return from LA. I still had no idea what the announcement would entail, or how I was going to handle any kind of interaction I might have with Edward that evening, but I decided I would worry about it later.

I gave both kids a bath and got them dressed for the day. Lucy wanted to help me cook breakfast, so we made French toast. She liked helping me dip the bread in the egg mixture. While Lucy and I were cooking, Emmett kept an eye on Mason. It wasn't like he really did anything but eat, sleep, and poop, so I figured Emmett would be pretty bored, but he stood there looking at the baby lying in his little bed. Every time Mason would move, Emmett would make sure he was covered up or wasn't waking up. It was sweet.

Esme came back just before lunch and brought a friend with her. She said that her friend was a seamstress and was going to make some dress-up clothes for Lucy, so she needed her measurements. Lucy was really good about standing still for the lady. While she was there, I asked her if it would be very difficult to take a little off the bottom of my dress.

I explained about my concern regarding going up the stairs and stepping on the dress. The lady asked me to put the dress on, so she could see it. When I did, she checked it out and said that it would be easer for her to make me a slip to fluff the bottom out a little. She said she could make the slip slightly shorter on the inside and put some stiffer material on the outside that it would hold the dress out of my way and make it look fuller. It would make the dress look better and keep it out of my way. She took some measurements and promised she could have something worked up for me in a couple of hours.

Before they left, Esme told me that she had arranged for her hair dresser to stop by the house to do my hair as a surprise for me. She said the hair dresser would be there around 3:30pm, so I needed to take a shower before then. Once I had my hair done, I could put my makeup on, but I needed to wait until the Limo driver was there before I put on my dress. That way I didn't take a chance of getting it dirty or messing it up.

Emmett thought this was the funniest thing in the world. He had a tux that Rosalie had rented for him to wear, since he was escorting me as my guest and would be sitting with me during the event instead of hanging out with all of the other security personnel. Emmett was commenting on the fact that all he had to do was take a shower and run a comb through his hair. He could be completely ready in ten minutes, but I had to start getting ready three hours before I was supposed to leave.

The afternoon flew by and before I knew it, it was time for me to hop in the shower and start the process of getting ready. Emmett and Lucy were coloring in her coloring books when I disappeared into the bathroom. When I got out of the bathroom, Lucy was instructing Emmett how to change Mason's diaper. I know I should have gone over and helped, but it was just too funny watching this huge guy try to figure out which side of the diaper went in front while getting instructions from a three and a half year old.

The hair dresser arrived promptly at 3:30pm. She set up her things on the kitchen table and started working on my hair. I didn't expect that it would take an hour and a half just to put it all up on the top of my head in elegant looking curls. While she was working on it, she slipped a few pins in that had tiny silver butterflies on them into random places within the piles of curls. She said that it would give the people behind me something interesting to look at. At first I worried that it would look stupid, but once I saw the end result in the mirror, I liked it.

When Lucy saw the butterflies in my hair, she begged for the hairstylist to do her hair like mine. I tried to tell Lucy that the lady probably had other things to do, but the lady said it was no problem. She sat Lucy up on the table and curled her long brown hair so that hung in waves down her back. She pulled the front of Lucy's hair back and twisted it before putting tiny little rubber bands in it. When she was done, it looked like her hair was held back in a headband. She pinned tiny silver butterflies along the row of rubber bands, so it looked like they were keeping her hair back. It was beautiful and quick. She told me that I would have to cut the rubber bands to get them out of Lucy's hair and that we could keep the butterflies.

Emmett kept Lucy busy while I put on my makeup and fed Mason. I heard Esme's phone ringing while I was getting ready, but I ignored it. I wasn't sure how they felt about someone else answering their phone, so I let it go to voicemail. Once it rolled to voicemail, the person hung up and called again. Apparently they were pretty insistent on speaking to someone, so Emmett finally went into the kitchen and answered the phone, but as soon as he picked up, the person on the other end of the line hung up.

Carlisle arrived in time to watch the kids while Emmett got ready. I heard Carlisle and Lucy talking about dresses and shoes and butterflies, so I figured they were fine and went back to getting ready. I dug through my luggage and realized that I had forgotten all of the jewelry I was originally planning on wearing, but in my frantic search I found, buried in one of the outer pockets, the necklace and earrings that Edward had given me with the music notes on them. I thought they would be appropriate for the event, so I put them on.

As I was clasping the necklace around my neck, I remembered how happy I was when Edward gave it to me. I remembered the way he looked at me and how he kissed me. I remembered the feel of his lips on my skin and the way he held me tight as we slept.

I was fanning myself, to try to keep the tears from ruining my makeup, when Esme stepped in the room. "Bella, you look lovely. I brought the slip that Gladys made for you. The driver will be here any minute. Would you like some help getting into your dress?"

"No, thank you. I think I'll be fine."

"Ok, I'm going to go downstairs and fix you something to eat. They will have people walking around with little trays of food and drinks, but you will need to be cautious of anything that might get stuck in your teeth. Believe me; you don't want to have your acceptance speech televised around the globe while you have a piece of spinach between your front teeth."

I laughed. "Great, one more thing for me to worry about."

What she said made sense, so I tucked a floss pick into my purse, along with the pump and a couple of absorbent pads, before I stepped into the slip and then carefully climbed into the dress. I checked my hair to make sure I didn't mess anything up and then applied deodorant, perfume, and put on my shoes.

I checked myself one more time and was shocked at how much had changed since my music career began. Back then I was a clumsy girl in jeans and a baggy t-shirt. Now I was a beautiful young mother in an evening gown, going to the musical event of the year as a person to be recognized and possibly even respected.

I heard a knock on the door. Emmett was standing in the doorway in a black tux with a white shirt and tie. The outfit emphasized his broad shoulders and strong build. He would look intimidating if it weren't for his dimples and blue eyes. "Damn, Bella, you look incredible."

"You don't look too shabby yourself. I might have to make you dress up more often."

He laughed. "Good luck with that. Are you ready? Do you have your acceptance speeches?"

I picked up the little cards I had written my notes on and stuffed them into my purse along with some lipstick and eyeliner, in case I needed to do a little touching up. With everything else shoved in my purse, I barely had room for the speeches.

Emmett and I came down the stairs and posed while Esme took pictures. Before we went outside to get into the limo, I turned around and tried going up the stairs in my dress, to make sure the slip worked. It did, so I kissed Lucy and Mason, took a deep breath, and headed out the door to face the unknown.

A/N: I want to thank all of you for your prayers and warm wishes regarding the health of my ex-mother-in-law. She passed away on Monday morning. Though we will miss her warm smile and contagious laughter, I am relieved that she is no longer in pain.

I know it has been a long time since I have posted a "soap box moment". For those of you that are not familiar with this, be warned, this usually means that I am going to ramble on and on about something that means something to me. Occasionally this offends other people, but it is just my opinion and doesn't really influence any one anyway, so here it goes….

Don't hesitate to tell your loved ones how you feel about them. You never know when you will never get another chance. If you love someone, tell them. If you admire and respect someone, let them know. Tell your friends how much they mean to you, and don't let distance come between you. If they are far away, you can call them, send a text, email them, and even use Skype if you have the technology. If you have grown apart, find a way to bridge the gap. If you don't feel comfortable talking to them, you can still send a greeting card to let them know that you are thinking of them.

Something I hear a lot from people who write/read fan-fiction is that their spouses get irritated and accuse them of being addicted to the stories. I admit, these stories can be captivating and possibly even a little addicting because they allow us to step out of our boring lives and slip off to a world of fantasy where we can picture ourselves living a life full of romance, excitement, and intrigue or maybe even filled with drama, angst, and heartbreak. The important thing to remember is that these stories will not be there to hold your hand when you are sick or visit you when you are in the hospital. It is your friends and family that will be there for you when you need them, so make sure that you cherish the time that you have with them when you have the chance. You can always read the next chapter when your have nothing better to do. Personally, I read stories on my phone when I'm standing at the copy machine at work or waiting in line at the drive thru. I usually write late at night when everyone else is sleeping and I'm not too tired. I try to spend the rest of the time with my friends and family… well, when I'm not working anyway. I hope that you are doing the same.

Now, before I step off of my soap box, I want to tell you all that I am honored that you are taking the time to read my story and that you continue to follow and support me as I drag you through this very lengthy tale. Your reviews brighten my day and make me smile. Your support, praise, and well wishes have given me strength and I appreciate every one of you for sending your prayers and love to someone that you don't really know all that well. It shows what a wonderful group of people you are.

Thank you.

A Little Distracted

(Christine)