Let me start by saying thank you all so much for the amazing reviews! You have no idea how much it means to me! I read a bunch of them and I had to get to work on chapter 7 for you. There'll be an important note at the bottom, also I'll be responding to some of your comments so make sure you read it! Her ya go…
It has officially been a month since Finn and Annie left, meaning I'm officially in the last (and worst) month of my pregnancy. I have never felt so terrible in my life. And unfortunately my dear husband is catching the ripples of my misery…
I have had absolutely no control over my body or emotions in weeks. I've been crying (yes actual crying). I never cry…only 3 times in my life have I ever really cried. The day my father died. The day Finnick brought Peeta back to life in the second arena. And the day my sister died. I feel as though all I have done for the last couple weeks is sleep (uncomfortably), eat (more than any human being should), and pee (also more than any human should). Oh and of course complain to Peeta...
I know I drive him crazy with all my demands and complaints. But he is still so patient with me. I think he might be crazy too.
"Why don't you yell at me?" I ask one day (where the heck did that come from?).
"Why on earth would I ever yell at you?"
"Because I know I'm annoying with all the arguing and complaining and demanding. I don't get how you can deal with me."
"Katniss I don't mind taking care of you. You're my wife, who is pregnant with my child, and who I love more than anything."
"Really?"
"Yes baby I do not mind taking care of you at all."
"I just feel like all I am ever doing is complaining to you and it must get annoying."
"Honey I just want you to be happy and comfortable. If that means I have to do a few extra chores or take care of you then so be it."
"It won't be long now you know. I only have a few more weeks left, then we'll be parents." I say rubbing my enormous belly.
"I know; I can't wait to be a father."
"You're going to be the best father you know. This will be the luckiest kid in the world."
"Yeah, she's going to have you for a mother."
"Don't be stupid Peeta. I still doubt that I'm going to be great at this mommy thing. But I do promise to try my best."
"We'll be okay. We're in this thing together. You can be there for her through my problems and I'll do the same for you. We're going to be fine."
"You really think so?"
"I really do."
"Then for now I'll trust you."
"Good, you should trust me."
"How much longer do you think it'll be?"
"Hard to say, Mrs. Hobbs said it could happen any day."
"She did, but she also said we would be better off if it didn't happen for another couple of weeks."
"I hope it happens soon. You look absolutely exhausted."
"I am!" I say with a laugh. The remainder of our night is spent curled up holding each other close enough that we can both feel our little baby kicking all night long.
"Will you quit complaining!" Haymitch snarls at me the following week.
"I can't help it! This is the most horrible I've felt in fifteen years!"
"That is not my problem sweetheart. I'm just here babysitting you as a favor to your husband." I always knew he liked Peeta better than me. Everyone does.
I can't take this…I cannot do this anymore. The only things keeping me sane are the phone calls I have with my mother and Annie every week, and Peeta. I've even taken to talking with Finn on occasion. I enjoy telling him all the stories I can remember about his father. Some he has heard already from Annie, but of course there are some that he's never been told before. He is anxious to learn everything he can about the other half of his DNA, and I am anxious to tell him everything I can.
I spend a lot of time in the nursery getting used to the scenery in there (I could sit and stare at Peeta's beautiful mural for the rest of my life). Not to mention that the rocking chair Peeta bought is the only place where I can really sit semi-comfortably. Peeta is still the ever-caring, loving husband/soon-to-be-father he's been since the day I told him I was pregnant.
The only thing that could make this any easier on me would be if I could go out into the woods once in a while. I muss the crunch of the leaves under my feet, and the rushing sound of a bowstring by my ear. I've been having dreams about the day my father taught me to hunt. I relive it almost every night in my dreams.
I relive a lot of things in my dreams one night. Things from the games, things from the war, the day of the explosion that killed my father; all of these terrors haunt me. But the worst image I have in my head is the sight of my sweet little sister bursting into flames…her flesh burning. I try to save her, but I can't reach her in time. I try to warn her, but she can't hear me…
I wake screaming louder than I have in years.
"Katniss! Katniss wake up!" Peeta is saying. He's shaking me by my shoulders trying to wake me.
"What…where am I?"
"It's okay baby you're safe. You're home with me in district 12." He says pulling me into his arms. "You're eight and a half months pregnant with our first child. If we have a girl we're naming her Amaryllis, if it's a boy we're naming him Luka." He's trying to pull me back into reality. He always has to when my nightmares are this bad.
It takes him a while to calm me down, but when he does he makes me tell him about it. This was a system we worked out in our early years being back in 12. After he has an episode I calm him and make him tell me what happened; he does the same for me when the horrors we have lived through plague my dreams. My heart is pounding wildly against my chest as I let Peeta cradle me in his strong arms. He gently rocks me back to sleep keeping me wrapped in his arms.
"Do you ever stop drinking?" I ask Haymitch the next day. He's on his second bottle since he arrived that morning.
"Not in the last fifteen years. And I don't plan to any time soon."
"Well then you better stay away from my baby when he comes!"
"Really, well according to your husband 'grandpa Haymitch' gets a front row seat for the birth of his daughter."
"You're not my baby's grandfather, you never will be, and I am not having a girl."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night sweetheart, but I think Peeta's instinct might be right this time. He's pretty good with that stuff."
"Yeah well I have mother's intuition, which beats whatever kind of instinct you think Peeta might have."
"Ugghhh! You are impossible!" I scream at him, moving out of the room as fast as I can in my condition. I head for the bathroom, slam the door and lock it; I have to pee for the hundredth time that day plus there is no way I'll be able to make it up the stairs. Just as I'm starting to wash my hands I feel water trickling down my leg. I reach down and feel a heavy stream coming from my womanhood.
No…
This cannot be happening…
"Haymitch!" I yell as loud as I can. I move as fast as I possibly can to the door where Haymitch meets me.
"What's all the yelling about sweetheart?" I feel the contraction surging through me…I know this time it's not a false alarm.
"My water just broke." I whisper just loud enough for him to hear. He reacts quickly, helping me to the couch. The first call he makes is to Peeta, the second to Mrs. Hobbs. Both arrive in record time.
"Are you okay? How do you feel?" Peeta asks franticly. I've never seen him this nervous. Mrs. Hobbs has me positioned just right on one of the extra beds upstairs. She's checking to see how far I've dilated and Peeta is hovering over me and I just lose it.
"For crying out loud Peeta back off!" he looks startled by my outburst, but I'm past caring. "I am scared and in a lot of pain, right now I just need you to get a chair, sit down, and hold my hand. Can you please just do that one little thing for me?" I ask, he nods and runs downstairs to get a chair.
"Well honey everything looks good on this end. You're about six centimeters dilated, so it'll be a little while. The best thing to do is just sit back, relax and wait."
"Is there anything you can give me for the pain?" the contractions are coming about six minutes apart, and they're worse every time.
"I can give you a little bit of morphling, but not much, and I can only give it to you once. You're better off waiting until it's time to push. Trust me the pain of the contractions is nothing compared to when the time actually comes to bring this child into the world." She says as she leaves.
The weight of her words comes crashing down on me…hard. I am about to become a mother, I'll be responsible for the life of another human being yet again. All of the fear I've felt about this baby over the last nine months overwhelms me at this moment. Annie's words come back to me "You'll feel differently when the time comes. I begged you mom to make it stop so I could keep him safe forever." For a while it's all I can think about. In fact I'm completely unaware of everything except pain and fear for the next two hours. However, my trance is broken when I hear Mrs. Hobbs tell me that it's time to push…
"No!" I scream. Peeta is pushing me back onto the bed and Mrs. Hobbs spreads my legs carefully, I hadn't even realized I had closed them. "No, no I can't do this. I can't have this baby." My words are frantic and rushed.
"Yes baby you can do this. You are the strongest person I know." He says holding my shoulders down.
"No Peeta he's safe in there! They can't hurt him if he's in there, I can protect him!" I argue.
"No Katniss!" He says firmly. "It's like what you said before, we can't undo this. This baby is coming one way or another. Nothing is stopping her now."
His words have the desired effect on me. I know there's no turning back now. The contraction comes and Mrs. Hobbs tells me to begin pushing. I grab Peeta's hand and I push. I push and push for what feels like days, squeezing Peeta's hand as hard as I can.
I feel it first, but it doesn't register with me until I hear the tiny cry. My baby is here. It's the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. Peeta's eyes are wide as he lays eyes on this beautiful child we've brought into the world.
"Congratulations you two! You have a perfect little…
Sorry to leave you all with a cliffhanger like that, but I couldn't resist. As I said before I have important news. The bad news is that this story is almost over. The good news is that I have a new story idea! I'm working on the first chapter to be posted after I finish this one, so please check that out.
Now in response to some of your reviews.
hptk: It is sad that Katniss doesn't feel a maternal bond to her baby, but I feel like she probably wouldn't until she began to really think of it as her baby. For the most part she has thought of it as Peeta's baby and something she's doing for him.
XxxPrettyLittleLiarsLoverxxX: thank you so much! That means the world to me!
x0xalexis8: not necessarily, in the story I was talking about they'll have a boy and a girl, I just don't know which one is older yet. Honestly I wasn't sure what they were having when I started the story and at this point I'm still debating with myself…it could go either way.
LizTheBookNerd: thanks! :) I'm glad you appreciate the context of the character. I'm trying to keep it as true to the Katniss we all fell in love with in the books.
TeamPeetaandKatniss: you're welcome; I loved all of the names you suggested! Thank you so much for your support with this story it means a lot to me :)
hungergames0523: thank you so much!
x0xalexis8: yes and no, I wanted Finnick and Annie's son to be named after his father for the sentimental purpose. However I did take your suggestion of using Finn for short. I kind of thought it would get a little confusing talking about Finnick & Finnick Jr.
cbook211: I'm glad you understood the reasoning behind their visit. I wanted Katniss to be able to hear from another mother what it would be like. And I wanted to convey my own feelings about what it would be like for Finn to grow up not even knowing his father.
Spygrrl: Thanks I wanted them to be emotional chapters so people can see more of Katniss' soft side.