Disclaimer: If you think I'm Tolkien, get your head checked.
Chapter 20- Snapping and Sarcasm
Steph was sulking, Boromir could tell. She hadn't said much to him all day, except a long string of curses when she tripped over a rock. However, he decided that it was going to be a good day, because his name had not been included in the string of curses. Indeed, today would be a good day.
Still, a feeling of foreboding hung in the air, and Boromir did not attempt to make conversation with the sulking female. He rarely did anyway, and he laughed aloud at the thought. He trying to engage Steph in conversation?
"What are you laughing about?" she snarled, looking up from staring at the holes in her jeans.
"I was simply laughing at the thought of trying to have a civil conversation with one such as you."
"One such as me?" she repeated, her brow furrowing, "I should kick you for that."
"It would make no difference, dear Steph, as you threaten me daily."
Steph raised an eyebrow. "Geez, someone's chipper today. What are you taking?"
He didn't answer; it sounded like a loaded question.
"I'm hungry."
"Be quiet."
She sighed irritably. "From this point forward, I'm holding you responsible for all the discomfort I experience on this trip."
Boromir snorted. "And if you die?"
"Well, I suppose it won't matter then."
"Then let us forbid that such a thing should happen to such a fair tempered maiden!" Boromir said sarcastically, scanning the darkening horizon for any familiar signs.
"Oh, you're a bucket of laughs!" retorted Steph, "You know there are only 3 things I hate more than you."
"Oh?"
"Yes. Horses, the Unseen One, Middle Earth in general, and you."
"That is four, and you already named me."
Steph scowled at him through the dark. "Oh shut up, assclown."
His good mood kept him from snapping back, and he spurred the horse onward, recognizing the way.
"We should come upon them soon."
Steph rolled her eyes. "And what, pray tell, will we find when we meet them?"
Boromir looked upward in thought. He hadn't thought of that. "I suppose we shall follow them into battle."
"Battle?" choked Steph, before regaining her composure and thwacking him on the back of the head. "No one said anything about battles!"
"It was to be expected, woman." Snapped Boromir, who could feel his good mood ebbing away as the conversation progressed.
"I'm going to die!" moaned Steph.
Boromir snorted. "Perhaps that would be for the better. Innumerable are the times you have begged for death while on this journey."
"But I don't really want to die! What would I do if I die?"
"Then you would not be able to hold me responsible for your discomfort." He said nastily.
"Augh! I didn't mean it! I don't want to die!" Steph wailed, thwacking Boromir in the process to make herself feel better.
"Of course you don't." said Boromir, in mock sympathy.
"Don't patronize me, you assclown." Steph snarled.
No more was said, and they journeyed on, both in dark moods.
Shouted words and the clang of sword against shield caught their attention.
"The Éored!" shouted Boromir, unsheathing his sword. "They are near!" Faintly, Boromir could smell smoke on the wind. He could feel the color drain from his face. Gondor was so near, and it was almost certain that the smoke was from Gondor. Gondor…Gondor was burning! He had to protect his people!
Steph tugged on his sleeve. "Are we close?"
When he said that they were, Steph started to whimper. "Please, Boromir. Please don't go. I don't want to go into battle…"
Boromir whirled around to face her. "Do not say such things! My country is in peril, and your cowardice will not deter me from defending it!"
Steph was too afraid to react to his insult. "I don't want to die!" she said, her voice trembling.
Boromir glared at her. "I would rather slay you now and use your last bit of dying energy to defend Gondor than hide in the hills with you and spare you from battle." He nodded at the long knife in the scabbard at her side. The belt was sliding down her hips, as usual, almost to the point of falling off. "Tighten your belt, Steph, and unsheathe your weapon. We are riding to battle."
She didn't move. "Do as I say!" he snarled, his voice so menacing that Steph didn't protest.
"This battle will save Middle Earth." Said Boromir, spurring the horse toward the Éored, "I am ready to kill and die to see that Middle Earth is saved." He sent her a cold look over his shoulder. "I am even willing to sacrifice others."
Taking a deep breath, Steph gripped the long knife with both hands, her knuckles turning white in an effort to get her hands to stop shaking. She was Boromir's life source, and she wasn't going to let herself die. Even if she had to hide behind Boromir the entire time, she wasn't going to let Boromir fail again.
The smells and sounds of horses told them they were advancing on the Éored. The smell of smoke and death hung in the air, and Steph involuntarily shivered.
"Do not fear, Steph." Said Boromir, his voice surprisingly empty of fear, "If your fate is to meet your end here, at least you will die a noble death." Seeing that this did not seem to ease her fears, he turned and forced a smile, despite his irritation toward her. "Stay near me, and if you are attacked, swing your blade upwards, not down."
A/N: Please don't kill me, I know it's short! I wanted this chapter to be slightly comical, and when I read ahead in ROTK, I realized that the battle was next (it crept up on me!). I wasn't really ready to write the battle scene yet (roughly translated this means that I hadn't walked around the house with a tape recorder, doing Steph and Boromir's conversations and actions), so I decided to wait until next week to post it. No worries, it'll be good! ^___^
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Til next week-
Enednilwen*