Raum

A Good Liar

Chapter 8: "My Way"

Victoria's full lips stretched in a smug grin as she took a step toward Edward. She looked at him through her lashes, and her body seemed to hum in anticipation.

"Finally," she purred, as if she were welcoming a lover.

Edward crouched. His fingers were ready claws, the tension evident in the muscles of his arm, like a bow strained to the utmost. His low snarl vibrated through the forest.

Victoria's smile widened, as if she had heard a cry of pleasure. "I would have liked to make you growl for a different reason," she mocked. "What good can any human be for a vampire's desires?"

Edward shifted on his feet, but Victoria did the same, mirroring his movements. They seemed still, and yet, they repeatedly bolted toward each other. They sashayed back and forth, struggling to find the opening that would decide everything in a single violent flurry.

Suddenly Victoria changed her strategy and started to slide away, but Edward didn't relent.

"Victoria," he called, stalking her. His voice was calm, almost soothing. "Don't you want to know James' last thoughts?"

She showed her teeth and hissed at him, but held her ground.

He nodded, acknowledging her decision. "When he was destroyed, he regretted that he hadn't brought you with him. Your instinct for escaping is uncanny," he went on. "You could have saved him."

His words made Victoria's irises darken; her expression molded into a mask of pain.

Edward tilted his head. "Does it still hurt so much, talking about him?"

She took a step toward her attacker. He didn't recoil.

"So you still love him? What a waste," he provoked her. "Don't you know you were never more than a convenience to him? A way to be entertained and distracted when he wasn't hunting?"

"Liar!" she roared.

He tapped his temple. "Your mind can't lie to me, and James' didn't either. He considered you nothing but a tool for his hunts. A well-behaved hound."

With a strangled screech, Victoria darted toward Edward. But abruptly she stilled, her ruby eyes shining in triumph. "Mindreader," she crooned. "You talk about James, but don't you want to know how you destroyed your pet when you left?"

She almost laughed when he shuddered. "Laurent told me she cried every night, calling your name," she taunted. Edward shut his eyes but couldn't defend himself as her mind pummeled him with what she knew about Bella. For a tiny second, he didn't match Victoria's move.

She leaped on him, aiming for his throat.

Her mouth brushed once across his neck, like a caress. It made a soft sound – like a swishing silk scarf – and then Edward's head was no longer connected to the rest of his body.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Bella," Edward called, shaking her gently. "Bella, wake up," he kept telling her, his voice more frantic.

Bella's panicked breaths erupted in a scream. She scrambled to a sitting position and found herself in Edward's arms.

"She got you!" she babbled through her sobs. "Victoria...she said she's good for you...Laurent..."

He shushed her, caressing her back. "It was a nightmare," he whispered to her. "You're safe. I'm here."

Slowly, she recalled how he had insisted on making her a cup of tea. She had sipped it while snuggled on the couch, wrapped in Edward's arms and a wool blanket that smelled like him. He had hummed to her while the rain was still tapping on the windows. A nap had become too tempting, at that point.

Bella shivered, recalling the monster she had met in her slumber and the words Victoria had spoken.

"Am I making you cold?" Edward asked.

"No, it's just the bad dream."

"Would talking about it help?"

"You fought Victoria, and she killed you. Your head...I saw her holding it like a trophy."

Edward tightened his embrace. "I won't let it happen."

"She showed you what she knew about the time when we were apart," Bella recalled. "You succumbed because you faltered when she mocked you about me. And she said–" she stopped mid-sentence, suppressing a sob.

"What did she say?"

"That she would have been good for you...for your desires," she choked out. "You told her she hadn't been anything but a distraction for James."

This is nonsense, Edward wanted to object. But some of the things Bella had said struck him like a slap in the face. You're not good for me...my kind is very easily distracted. The damned lies he had told her when he had left were thrown back at him. Had Laurent's attack stirred them up? Or, despite what he hoped, were the wounds he had inflicted on Bella pushing on all her deepest insecurities, never to be healed?

Bella ducked her head under his chin, curled up against him.

"You're my life," he whispered to her. "You're my mate," he went on, his voice lowered to the point that she could feel his words vibrating in his chest.

"I don't trust myself to be…enough. To deserve you."

"Isabella." His eyes were serious when he searched for hers. "My bond with you is unbreakable. If there's anything I can do to prove it to you further, just tell me."

She leaned toward him and searched for his mouth. When they kissed, Edward could still taste the salt of her previous tears. With his lips, he caressed away her tears, cradling her face in his hands and holding her as tightly as he dared. The moment when he would pull her face away from his and break their contact didn't come. Bella nibbled at his lips, her tongue pushing against his mouth. He slowed his pace, minding his sharp teeth.

Her hunger didn't lessen. "Hold me tighter."

"I'd crush you."

"No." Her voice was hoarse as she pressed her frame against his chest. "I need you." She buried her fingers in his hair, tugging at the strands and trying to bring him toward herself. "Closer."

"Bella," he breathed. "We must stop."

Edward tensed as he looked at her – she was flushed, with her hair like an unruly halo framing her features.

"I want to belong to you," she declared. "And I want you to belong to me."

"I'm already yours. I'll show it to you in every possible way."

"So don't stop," she urged. "I trust you, Edward. You won't hurt me – you would never."

"It's not just about my control," he admitted. "It's not the right moment. You deserve better than this."

She looked away, and disappointment spread on her face. "What do you mean? You're everything I've ever wanted," she tried to argue. "I want to give you my body, and my life. Forever."

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Do you have any idea how hard it is, resisting you?"

"Then don't push me away."

His thumb stroked lightly against her cheek. He held her face and brought his mouth toward hers. "Right now you're upset and scared – no wonder, considering what we've been through. I do want to make love to you. I've imagined it so many times." He took a breath, and Bella was sure that, if it had been possible, Edward would have been blushing because of his admission. "I want that moment to be filled with joy. It will be perfect." He paused, and a warm smile lightened his face. "One day I'll–" He stopped, as if he had revealed too much.

"What will you do?"

He took her hand in his, gliding over her fingers. "One day I'll ask you to do me the honor of becoming my wife," he murmured.

Bella pulled her hand from his and averted her eyes. "Edward...I..." she mumbled.

He distanced himself from her, struck by the worry on her face. "It's because of your parents," he surmised, his voice unsure.

She shrugged.

"I know you witnessed them being unhappy in their marriage, but it's not always that way," he tried to reassure her. "I'm not talking only of Carlisle and Esme, or of my siblings. My parents were happy, too. In my world, if I had found you, I would have endeavored to secure your hand. It would have been my way of telling you that I wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations."

"Would you have waited until we were married, before..." she waved a hand in front of her.

"It would have been my duty to wait, to make you my wife first, before making love to you."

Bella grimaced. "Just as I figured..." she muttered under her breath.

"I'm not following you. Please, talk to me."

"I'm not part of your world," she countered. "Because I'm human, while you aren't, or because I'm not from the same time as you. Either way, I keep thinking that I'm not good for you."

Edward gaped at her, shocked by her outburst.

"I see why Carlisle thought that Rosalie would have been a good match for you," she blurted.

"What does it have to do with her?" he retorted.

"She belonged to your same time," Bella went on, her words interspersed by hiccups. "You wouldn't have had to pretend with her. She would have made you at ease and could share the way of life of your human past. You wouldn't have felt as if you were in the wrong time."

He scrutinized her face for long moment. When he spoke again, his voice was calm, despite the turmoil Bella had provoked in him with her doubts. "Have I ever said that I feel like I'm in the wrong time? How would I consider the time when I met you wrong?" he asked, shaking his head in disbelief. "We come from different worlds, but what really matters is the direction we're choosing together. You are the one who gave me back my humanity. I don't mean the traditions or conventions of some era I've lived through. You gave me back feelings, faith, values. You gave me back my dreams, Bella."

"I shouldn't have said–" she apologized.

He stroked her hair, shushing her. "You trusted me with your thoughts and doubts. I appreciate that you shared them."

He caressed her back, trying to relieve the stress he could feel there. "I know the way marriage is often seen nowadays. Smart girls don't get married too soon, right? You seem more scared about getting married than when you discovered I was a vampire. And yet, you're ready to choose me forever, giving up your life." He put a finger under her chin and tilted up her head. "Joining me in this existence, you'll see the world change many, many times. I guess sometimes you'll be confused – it still happens to me, too. But we can help each other to stay true to ourselves. At the core, it is and will be just you and me. Edward and Bella."

"Edward and Bella," she repeated in a soft whisper, already calming down. "I love the way that sounds."

He let out a small laugh. "I love you. You're beautiful." He skimmed his nose on her collarbone. "Brave." His hands roamed her back, making her shiver. "Passionate," he murmured in her ear. He took a deep breath, letting her scent invade him and spread through his body.

Edward restrained himself, despite his desire washing him in rolling waves. Gently, he distanced himself from Bella and looked into the pureness of her eyes. He didn't want her to connect their first lovemaking to the fear that Laurent's attack and Victoria's threat had instilled in her heart.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The days piled up, and Bella and Edward went back to their routine. One night, Bella was studying at home, and she jumped in her chair as a tapping on the window took her away from her thoughts. No longer hiding his speed from her, Edward was a blur to her eyes: there he was in her room, casually propped on the windowsill, with his legs crossed. The dim moonlight enhanced the mesmerizing perfection of his features, and his amber eyes shone with golden flecks as he smiled.

"Isn't it unhealthy, studying so late?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Says the one who's always thought he works best at night."

There had been other afternoons with Edward, and he had begun to share little bits about his past. It could be a memory from his human years – like the day he had recalled that, as a boy, he used to do his homework at night or stayed awake until late and read, despite his parents' disapproval – or something from the decades he had spent with the Cullens. Bella had noticed how he didn't refer anymore to his human time as the only life he'd had, in contrast with his vampire existence. He was the same man, whose essence hadn't been lost since his transformation.

Bella closed her books and stood up, turning toward him. She hid the paper she had been working on behind her back. "How long have you been here?"

"A while. I know how to pass unnoticed, but you were so focused that I doubt you'd have noticed a mammoth lumbering around the room."

She chuckled and began to put her notes away.

"Busy week at school?"

"Actually, I was preparing a paper for a scholarship application."

"Would you show it to me?"

She fidgeted with a pen. "Another time...it's still a rough draft. I'm afraid even its final version won't be that good."

"I've read enough of your papers to know how smart you are. You'll do a great job, and anyway scholarships shouldn't be a worry for you, right?"

Bella frowned. "We've already talked about it, and you know I want to pay for college on my own. As far as enrolling in my same college, whatever it will be, is fine for you, I'm applying for some scholarships. This one's for a school in London and would be my first choice."

"I'm proud of what you're doing, and I'm not trying to get in your way," Edward clarified. "It's just that tuition won't be a problem, wherever you'd like to go. You'll have a safety net if you don't get a scholarship. Just in case."

"This scholarship would cover every expense for a year abroad, attending a course in London," Bella explained. "I'm thinking of it as the last human thing I'll do before I'm changed." She said it without the slightest pause or hesitation. As if it were nothing. The end of her human life. The end of her, of Bella as he had known her. The end of her blood, her scent, her warmth, her tender softness.

Edward had promised that, if becoming like him was her will, he wasn't going to deny her anymore. But the way that she talked about it, so-matter-of-factly, floored him.

As much as he'd promised to abide by her will, he couldn't keep the sadness from veiling his expression. "Just one year?"

She nodded. "You haven't changed your mind, have you?"

Edward tried to hide his discomfort with a shrug. "I was just hoping for more," he confessed. "There's no rush for you to be transformed. If you want other human experiences – completing a college degree, for example – I would never thwart your aspirations."

She gave him a small smile. "One year is enough," she declared.

He was going to object, but thought better of it. "Whatever you choose, I'll be on your side."

Bella glanced at the messy pile of notes still on her desk. "Will you give the paper a look before I submit it, then?" she asked, her eyes suddenly shy.

"Of course I will."

She snuggled on her bed, lying on her side, and Edward went to sit beside her. She stretched out her arms and couldn't suppress a yawn.

He moved closer to her and skimmed his fingers on her neck. "You deserve a prize for all the effort you're putting into your studies," he whispered to her, his voice a soft caress. He kneaded his palms into her shoulders and then smoothed down her back.

She moaned as he began to massage her muscles in earnest. "If I get this every time, I'll study even more."

"Really?" he mumbled.

None of them spoke further as they abandoned themselves in each other's arms, and in a few minutes Bella fell asleep. Edward tucked her in and savored the time he could spend with her – a precious gift he had risked losing forever.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Edward didn't bother to finish drying himself off in the shower as he heard the ring of an incoming message on his phone. When he looked at the screen and read the email Bella had forwarded him, he threw the towel high in the air.

"Yeah!" he shouted, doing a double fist pump, buck naked and dripping in the middle of the carpet.

Come to my place ASAP. We're celebrating! He texted Bella with one hand, while getting dressed with the other. A moment later, he was running through the woods. He would be able to keep an eye on her truck as she approached and then would wait for her at the junction. He hadn't caught any trace of Victoria in the area, and the wolves were patrolling their lands, but Edward did his best to leave Bella unguarded as seldom as possible.

Pacing among the trees, he wondered when she would tell Charlie she had been granted the scholarship and was going to London by the end of the summer.

Edward recalled the day when he had peppered Bella with questions about what she liked and hated, the places she had been and the ones she wanted to visit. When she had said that London was on her bucket list, he would have taken her there on the spot, just to see her smile. But now he was even happier and more proud of her. She had made her own dreams come true.

Only a few weeks separated Bella from graduation. Edward began to imagine visiting London's museums together or showing her a secluded spot in Hampstead Heath that had become his refuge when he had spent a winter in Britain in the early eighties.

There wasn't anything he didn't want to share with her. In no place would he be able to feel at home without her. He stopped pacing, thinking about the surprise that was awaiting Bella in his room. Would she understand how much she's changed me? he wondered. What will she think?

He picked up the excited rhythm of her heart when she was still quite far, driving toward his house faster than ever.

When he had her in his arms, he didn't give her enough time to enter the house on her feet or to take off her jacket. He joined his lips with hers, swept Bella into his arms and hopped up the stairs toward his room.

As he stopped, Bella looked around in disbelief. "Am I in the wrong house?" she marveled.

The furniture in Edward's room had been rearranged. His black leather couch had been pushed to the north wall. The stereo was shoved up against the vast shelves of books and CDs. A new acquisition dominated the room: a large bed with a dark walnut frame and a wool coverlet in shades of sienna. On the nightstand, some lit candles provided a soft light.

Bella motioned to the bed. "This wasn't here two days ago."

Edward led her toward it, and they both sat down. "I thought it could be useful...you know, if you want to take a nap." His voice went lower. "Or to give you a proper massage." Bella was at loss for words; did the bed mean what she thought it did? Had Edward changed his mind?

But before she could pursue such an amazing thought, he moved to a corner of the room and fetched a package.

"Congratulations, Miss Swan. London is waiting for you," he told her in a perfect British accent, placing a light kiss on her lips.

Still overwhelmed, Bella eyed the gift. "How could you know?" she spluttered. "I got the email less than an hour ago!" Her expression hardened. "Edward, if you've had anything to do with me being accepted..."

"No," he rushed to reassure her. "It's just that I was sure you would do well. I root for you, remember?"

She unwrapped the gift and beamed at the elegant leather suitcase he had purchased for her. It was in a fine light gray hue, with a matching key ring of the same brand. "It's beautiful," she murmured.

Edward covered her fingers with his hand as she lifted the empty key-ring. "Carlisle owns an apartment in London, and I spent some time there in the eighties. I'll have a second set of keys made for you as soon as we land."

She hugged him tightly. "Thank you," he told him. "Thank you for everything."

He lifted her and moved them both toward the center of the bed. Eyes closed, Bella let herself relax on the fluffy cushions. Edward hovered over her, leaving a trail of kisses across her forehead, down her cheeks and on her neck, but always avoiding her mouth. When she leaned on her elbows, trying to reach his lips, he pushed her down, raising her arms above her head. She looked up at him, and he gave her a mischievous grin.

"Trust me," he mouthed before she could say anything.

He lowered his head and breathed closer to her lips, making her insides clench. Bella inhaled deeply, basking in Edward's scent – but it wasn't enough. He moved infinitesimally closer, but as soon as she tried to raise her head, he quickly straightened his back and distanced himself.

He shook his head at her, smiling broadly. "Stay still," he instructed. He released her wrists, but playfully glared at her. "Still," he repeated, his voice husky.

Bella gasped as he lifted the hem of his shirt and, in a fast motion, bared his chest. She looked at his hard abdominals and gazed upward, where his well-defined muscles covered his silent heart. The boldness in Edward's eyes faltered as he felt himself under her amazed scrutiny.

"At any moment, you can tell me to stop," he reminded her softly.

The words rang in her ears. Bella nodded absentmindedly, but she was focused on the perfect curve of Edward's lips and the way they curled up in a shy smile.

He reached for her body again. He unbuttoned her shirt, and his hands stilled on the little portion of cleavage he had revealed. Under his cold touch, Bella's breaths quickened, her heart galloping in her chest. He took off her garment and drew a finger across her breasts and down her abdomen, stopping at the waistline of her jeans.

"You're stunning," he murmured. When he spoke, Bella realized that he had been holding his breath.

He bowed his head and locked his eyes with hers. His irises had lost their honey hue, and now two thin rings of dark gold circled perfect blackness.

His hands glided over her warm skin. He touched her with reverence, worshipping her with his body. Bella shivered as his fingertips made contact with her sides and ran up toward her elbows and armpits. She arched her back and let out a long moan.

When Edward's body aligned with hers, Bella pushed her hips against him. He shuddered as her desire dominated him. Waves of scorching heat threatened to burn him as he took a breath and inhaled her scent. His mind could manage thousands of layers at the same time, and yet they weren't enough to register all he felt in that moment. Pheromones. The word resurfaced in his memory. He couldn't read Bella's thoughts, but the messages her body was sending him were enough to sweep him away.

"I want to touch you." Her words erupted from her throat in a hungry plea and became his undoing.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, abandoning himself in her arms. "I'm yours."

Her hands explored his back, her nails lightly scratching against his marble skin. When she reached his belt, she hesitated. "May I?" she asked, so low that a human wouldn't have heard her.

Edward had to swallow hard before being able to speak. "Yes. I want you."

He mirrored her gestures and rolled down her jeans, caressing every inch he uncovered. Slowly, he slid a finger under her pants. He clenched his jaw, and his entire frame shook as he was met with her response. He searched for her eyes, as though they were his beacon. "Isabella," he breathed.

He leaned toward her, ever so carefully, never breaking his gaze, searching her face for any sign of discomfort.

Bella replied to his worry with a smile, and in her expression he discovered a gleam he had never caught before. "I wish you could read my mind right now," she whispered. "Because I'll never find the right words to tell you how much I love you."

With each one of his gentle caresses he felt her desire increase. His very fibers were begging him to overcome the separation between their bodies, and he surrendered. Bella circled his hips with her legs and with no sign of pain she welcomed him. But when she began to cringe, he stilled.

"Is there anything wrong?" he asked, preparing to withdraw.

Her blush set her cheeks aflame. "I can feel you inside me...and it's kind of..." she bit on her lower lip, looking for words that didn't come. "Just don't stop," she reassured him at last.

Her wish became his command. He grabbed the blanket around them and balanced every single muscle as he dared to thrust. Her breaths matched his rhythm, giving him the best pace.

When her climax arrived, it was sweeter than anything he had experienced before. Edward had never felt as alive and powerful as when his name became a scream of pleasure on Bella's lips. She snapped her head back, exposing her neck. But the pull of the girl in his arms – of his mate, he reminded himself – was stronger than any call her blood could have for his predatory instincts.

When James had bitten Bella and Edward had sucked out her blood, he had realized for the first time that she was right: he loved her too much to hurt her. Then, he had won over his bloodlust in order to save her from death. Now, he overcame the predator hidden in him and, with Bella, he celebrated life.

With a few more thrusts, his pleasure came, too. A low growl echoed in his chest until he relaxed in her arms. Spent, they changed their position and lay on their sides, facing each other. Edward drew Bella to himself, and she nestled in his arms, with her cheek against his. He felt moisture on his skin and looked at her, realizing that she was crying.

"Bella," he said softly. "What's happening, love?"

She smiled at him through her tears. "I've never been so happy. No past sorrow has been as strong as the joy you give me. Loving you, being as we are right now, is worth everything we've gone through."

Her words overwhelmed him. Like sea waves, they erased all the desperation he had experienced in over a century. His rebellion, the guilt over the lives he had taken, the contempt he had for the monster hidden inside him – everything was healed by the love Bella was giving him. "I owe you my soul," he declared, sealing his words with a kiss.

Thanks for reading!

I know, I know, the canon coverlet in Edward's room is golden. I've always thought it was kind of tacky, so I've given our Cullen boy a more masculine bed and comforter. After all, he's still a man, right?

The next chapter is due to be posted in two weeks.

Thank you! to my wonderful friends Camilla10, Miaokuancha, Marlena580, and Jmolly.

I'm on Twitter (RaumTweet).

A Good Liar's extras are posted on: h.t.t.p : / / myreadinglounge. blogspot. com/