I don't own the Teen Titans. I only own the plot of this fic – if it has one.

Bittersweet


Not the only, not the first, but the strongest.

There were thoughts. And a sight. And a dream.

Cannot talk, and I won't. I am flawed.

It was hopeless, I knew, yet I hoped.

I've had no strength to act, talk, or scream.

I was silent.


Of course, in my wanderings throughout the world, I met other girls I liked. But Raven… No one could compare to her.

Many times, I woke up, remembering dreams about her. No, not that kind of dream. I mean, maybe I had those, but I seldom remember them. But there was a problem.

Perhaps it will sound weird to you, but I, Beast Boy, the jokester, am having immense difficulties in forming normal human relations. I was even given a diagnosis once, something starting with Asp (been afraid to look up the exact name). I couldn't talk with her about it.

Or with anyone else.

Because once, I tried talking with someone about my feelings for another girl, and all people did was laughing at me.

I couldn't do anything about my feelings.

Yet I hoped that maybe somewhere, deep inside, she liked me back.

Nothing for me. But not for another.

Maybe not much, maybe nothing, and yet

It was like a club hit my chest.

I distracted myself, for a while.

And then it repeated again.


Then, when Blackfire came, we went into that club. And there, I saw that Goth boy talking with Raven. Touching her. It wasn't much, but more than I ever received from her. I felt like I was kicked in the chest.

I tried to distract myself by playing video games. After a while, I felt better. I even started looking at Raven's direction without pain. Until I saw her as that Goth's Valentine.

That was even more painful.

And then, Terra came.

And I don't how many more times.

But then, there was no more distraction.

It never shall help me again.

I tried a few times to speak.

A smile. Then a frown. Then a shout.

I couldn't forget, I buried.


Terra has managed to fill the hole in my heart. At least, I considered it so. But, looking back, I see I was mistaken.

Because, you see, I never dreamed of her.

Then, she betrayed us. And was gone. And then appeared back, but it was her no longer.

The distraction couldn't work. And despite all my efforts, I realized I do love Raven.

And now, it has come out again.

No hope, and no light, and a bittersweet pain.

And I know it is foolish it happened again.

Yet I hurt every time that I look

And I hurt every time that I see.

And whenever I think, I'm in pain.


After defeating her father, she started showing her emotions. But not towards me. I love her, every moment of my life is filled with thoughts of her.

And I can't talk to her about it.

I can't talk to my friends about it.

I see her, talking to them, smiling at them. Smiling at bypassers on the streets.

And each time I see it, it kills me from within.

And it kills me to think about it.

Yet there is no strength to act.

Only pain.