Let me just say the holidays suck. Since my sister Vanessa, who lives in Connecticut, was hosting Thanksgiving this year, I spent the holiday with family. The whole 2days I was there I was bombarded with the question "when are you going to find a husband?" " You know you're no spring chicken." " Your sister did it right marrying Newton; who would of thought he would invent the software that AT&T use."

I was sick of it. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I wanted to be home so bad. Though home has not much to offer. When I opened the door it was dark, empty and lonely. "Why hello bottle of wine in my fridge."

If I wasn't so nit picky about unpacking I wouldn't of even done it for day's. Thankfully I had a lot of work to do so I couldn't just wallow. I can't say I'm depressed. I'm just not happy.

December arrives with a big snow storm. I love snow it looks like everything is so clean and innocent.

This is my first Christmas season in 6 years where I have no boyfriend or man in my life. Before that I was living with Tilly so I wasn't alone. Now I am alone. I am ok with not having a boyfriend; well sort of. I was really glad that Dallas is no longer apart of my life. I am better with out him. I've made my peace with the whole thing.

Austin however was different. I am sad he isn't apart of my life anymore. But I am still so mad at him. I hated him. He didn't seem to care about my feelings on what the sex meant to me. He knew it was the first time I was intimate with someone since Dallas. Which had been almost a year and a half. I felt so used when he said he took pity on me.

Maybe I should try to get into the Christmas spirit. I'll go out this weekend and buy a tree.

12/7/13

So the world seems to have a cruel joke on single people. Where you are unable to do perhaps the most enjoyable activity by yourself.

I get to the tree stand at 2:30. It takes my 2 hours to find the perfect one. I tell the guy who carries it to the front. He lays it on the ground waiting for me too pay.

The tree is awkward and slightly heavy. I couldn't even pick it up right to carry it. I had to drag the damn thing 3 blocks and 4 flights of stairs to get back to my apartment. Took me a half hour to get home since the damn trunk kept dropping out of my hands.

I cursed Austin the whole way.

I jam my key in the lock and kick open the door. My house phone is ringing I am seriously frustrated at this point so I let my machine get it. Call me old fashioned I still have an actual answering machine. I pulling and dragging in the tree when I hear Austin's voice.

"Hi Ally. It's me" a quick pause. He must of been waiting to see if I would pick up. He started again " I was calling to say hello. Also I wanted to remind you that this is not only the season of giving but of groveling. So I'm doing traditional groveling. Call me."

"Ha!" I burst out. I slam the door shut as I kick of the rest of the tree in. He has the balls to call me and do a half fast apology and expect that to make everything better.

I look down at the tree and sigh " time to put you up I guess. Unfortunately next year I will probably have to get a fake one. "

I pull my phone out of my pocket and notice that I have 7 missed calls. "Jeez was thing on silent?" I double check and it wasn't. The first message was from Trish; she invited me to see her window display and then dinner with Tilly this evening. The next was from Tilly telling me I had to go out with them tonight. The other 5 were from Beck, they all had the same message 'please call me' . I had no intention of doing that so I just deleted them. All of them on my phone at least I couldn't bring myself to delete the one off my machine.

Since I don't feel like talking to anyone, I quickly text Tilly and Trish to let them know that I am going out tonight and will meet them at 7 in front of Barney's.

45 minutes later I had the tree standing perfectly straight in the stand. " Hehe go me!" I did a little dance of victory.

I glance at the clock on the cable box. It reads 5:50. I have to get going since I'm supposed to be a cross town in an hour and I still need to wash my hair.

XXXX

"Trish I don't know how you do it but this is amazing." I tell her as we stand outside Barney's.

"I know I'm amazing. I did all this in 3 days since I just got back from my honeymoon." Trish smiled as she mentally recalled her honeymoon.

"By the way I still want details about it" Tilly said. She then frowned as an after thought " but nothing dirty or scary."

"Nothing dirty? Tilly you have 2 kids. You know what happens on a honeymoon" Trish joked.

Tilly pointed a finger at her " that doesn't mean I want full details. Casual talk of sex is fine; but I don't need you going all Samantha Jones on my Charlotte York."

We only could laugh at Tillys craziness.

2 weeks later - 12/21/13

I was, thankfully, working from home. Today was Saturday and I needed my article on my editors desk by this evening at 6. This is the first time in the 7 years that I've worked for the magazine that I was so late for my deadline. My editor had almost forced me to go into the office; but I convinced him that I would have less distraction if I worked from home.

I'm going to blame Austin for my distraction. He is the only thing on my mind. The bastard. I keep ignoring his calls and texts; I have nothing to say to him. I was still so hurt by him. I was mad at him for saying he took pity on me. But I was more mad at him for not being there anymore. I couldn't go complaining to him. I lost one if my closest friends.

"Argh focus Ally!" I place my fingers on the keys again. This topic is so boring, but this is what Clay wants.

As I am typing my house phone rings. I had turned off my phone so I wouldn't get any distractions. I knew it was Austin who was calling; since he is the only person besides my parents to call me on it, and my parents are on vacation in the caribbean.

I let the machine get the call. I couldn't help but sigh when I heard his voice.

"Hi Ally. Please pick up. I know you're there" he paused. "Okay there are three options here either A) you're not home, B) home but don't want to talk to me it C) home desperately want to talk to me but are trapped underneath something heavy. If it is either A or C please call me back."

How can he expect me to forgive him? I sigh, take a sip of my wine and begin typing again.

XXXX

12/23/13

Since Christmas is on Wednesday; Dez and I moved our every Wednesday lunch at the hot dog vendor in between our offices to today Monday.

"She obviously doesn't want to talk to me. I can't keep making myself look like a schmuck."

"Schmuck? You've been hanging out with Robbie too much" Dez laughed.

"Jewish words just seem to fit better" I argued.

"Things will work out the way they are supposed to. Just give her some space. She is dealing with a lot of emotional stuff as well you know."

" I've given her space. I've apologized. I don't know what else to do. I'm just going to stop trying to get in touch with her. That's exactly what I'm going to do" I say defiantly.

"Sure you are. Something for you to ponder over think on why you miss her so much. Well I need to get back to work. If I don't see you Merry Christmas" Dez hugged me.

"Merry Christmas Dez." I thought of what he said as he walked back towards his office. Why did I miss her do much?

I spent Christmas alone; I didn't mind since I liked being alone. Well that's a lie I don't like to be alone I just don't hate it like some people. The whole day I kept thinking of Ally and hoping she wasn't alone for the holiday. I kept my promise that I wouldn't call her for a total of two days. I called her on Thursday. I couldn't help it I had to try.

I had bought the rock band set I was going to get Trish and Dez all those months ago. I discovered I can download any song I wanted so I added Call Me by Tony Hutch. A classic I remember my mom listening too. I dialed her number all ready to sing to her machine. I was past the point of worrying of I looked like an idiot. Well in this case sounding like one.

The phone rang 7 times then the machine picked up. How she has an actual answering machine still I don't know. I hear her sweet voice saying the words I'm so used to "Hi this is Ally. I'm unavailable leave a message." I hear the beep inhale and let loose. " if you're feeling sad and lonely there's a service I can render. Tell the one who digs you only. I can be so warm and tender. Call me. Maybe it's late but call me. Call me and I'll be around." I shut the thing off " give me a call." I was about to hang up when I heard her voice.

"Hi Austin."

I scramble to get the phone back to my ear "Hi, hello hi. I didn't know you were there. " I was so happy to hear her real voice and not a recording. Her voice was so sweet to listen too.

"I was actually just leaving."

"Oh where are you going?" I hoped that didn't sound to nosey I just wanted to talk to her.

She apparently doesn't want small talk "what do you want Austin?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to call and say I'm sorry that I hurt you."

There was deafening silence from her end. She finally said " Ok." Ok that's it that's all I get? I wait for her to say more but she doesn't. I don't know what to do I had to keep her on the phone.

I bring up new years. "Are you going to the Kopelows party? Because I don't have a date and you don't have a date we always said we would be each others date." This was a mistake to bring up. It only made matters worse.

"I can't do this anymore Austin. I'm not your constellation prize. Goodbye.". She hung up the phone leaving me speechless. I slowly let the phone fall into my hands. " I really blew it."

12/31/13

I was told by Dez that he and Trish were taking Ally to the Kopelows party. Trish was really forcing her to go.

I was glad I wasn't going. "Who needs a big party? I have everything I need right here." I say as I flop onto my bed. "Some Rockin New Years Eve, mallomars bars; perhaps the greatest cookie ever, and I am about to give the Knicks their first championship since 1973." I shoot the ball into my homemade basket and miss. "Just like the Knicks I suck."

I look at the TV again "I have to get out of here."

I grab my jacket and slammed the door behind me. I wander the empty streets. " This is great. I can catch up on my window shopping."

I knew I was upset; I always get extra positive when I'm feeling negative. I continue walking the streets. I'm not paying attention to where I'm going or where I am. I looked around and saw I was right in front of the Washington St arch. It was the exact spot that Ally dropped me off 12 years ago. Every memory came flooding back.

"We can't be friends. Too bad you were the only person I knew in New York."

"You look like a normal person but you are the angel of death."

"Are we becoming friends? I think we are."

I remembered her laugh, her smile. I missed it. I even missed her smell. Her blended mix of lavender and vanilla was intoxicating. I missed her. I needed her I wanted her in my life. I need to tell her. I had to get to the Kopelows party.

I ran to the corner, 3 cabs were coming down the street. "Taxi! Taxi!" They kept on driving. "Fucking cabs on New Year's Eve."

I had to tell her tonight. She was only 7 blocks away so I started to run.

I was losing steam as I pulled the door to the hotel open; but I had to keep going. I ran up the stairs to the main ballroom; I hadn't thought on how I was going to find Ally. Luck or fate was on my side I spotted her coming towards the door.

She looked beautiful. Her hair was long and flowing. Her body looked amazing in her black mini dress. But I wasn't looking at her body. No I was looking at her face. Her beautiful angelic face. I marched straight over to her, didn't even bother with pleasantries. " I've been doing a lot of thinking the thing is I love you."

Her eyes got big "What?"

I repeat myself " I love you."

She folds her arms and voice very calm "how do you expect me to respond?"

"I was thinking you would say that you love me too." I tried to touch her arm but she pulled away.

"We'll in thinking more like I'm leaving" she pushes past me. I however grab her arm before she could get away. "Wait Ally. Doesn't anything I just said mean anything to you?"

"I'm sorry Austin " her voice began to crack with emotions. "I know it's New Year's Eve, I know you're feeling lonely, but you can't say you love me and think that everything will be alright. It doesn't work that way."

I throw my hands up " well how does it work? So I can do it" I'm shouting to be heard over the music and the countdown.

She shakes the tears from her eyes and shouts back " I don't know but not this way." She turns to leave but I grab her arm once again.

"We'll how about this way. I love that you get cold when its 73 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich." She frowned at me and I thought of something else " I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when your looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that I can still smell your perfume on my clothes after we spend the day together. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. To be clear its not because I'm lonely or that its New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest if your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Ally's face went from smiling back to frowning. "Ugh. You see this is why I get so mad at you. You say things like that and make it impossible for me to hate you. And I hate you Austin I really hate you." She took a deep long sigh.

I had nothing else to say. I laid all my cards in the table. I was nervous on what she would say. I stared at her, waiting for her to do something. She looked at me again and mouthed the words I love you. I smiled. I pulled her close to me and kissed her. People were cheering for the New Years but I took it as they were cheering for us. We finally broke apart and auld Lang syne was playing.

I shake my head " what does this song even mean? Are we supposed to remember old friends? But we can't because we already forget them."

Ally only laughed "there's my Austin." She pulled me in for another kiss.

XXXXXXX

"Now why don't you tell me how you guys got together." I asked my newest couple for my documentary.

"When we first met we hated each other" Austin said

"No you didn't hate me. I hated you" Ally corrected. "The next time we met you didn't even remember me."

Austin gasped " I did too. I was only teasing when I said I didn't."

Ally playfully nudges him "sure." She turns back to me. " The third time we met we became friends."

"We were friends for a long time" Austin said.

Then Ally looked down " then we weren't."

Austin and Ally turned to each other, smiled and said "then we fell in love."

"Two months later we got married" Ally said as she smiled.

"Ya it only took 2 months" Austin joked. Ally shrugged " 12 years and two months."

"Ally had planned this beautiful wedding." Austin complimented his wife.

"Thank you. Not to toot my own horn it really was beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as the bride or as I like to say my wife." Austin gave Ally a kiss.

"That was great guys. I have all I need. Thank you for coming in and sharing your story" I told them.

They got up to leave " no thank you." And with that the left. Out of all my interviews this one was the most interesting.

There it is the end. Thank to everyone who has reviewed, Favorited, and alerted this story.