::blows dust off story:: ::waves sheepishly::

Hi! Remember me? Remember this story? So do I now! It's embarrasing when you have to re-read your own story to carrying on writing the next chapter! In all fairness to me it has been ten months, but that's hardly been fair to you, the readers of this fic. For that I'm sorry, but as you can see this is in the forefront of my fic writing mind.

I hope this update isn't a disappointment for you, I really enjoyed writing it so hopefully you'll enjoy reading it.

I'm not making any promises about the next chapter, real life is still hectic, juggling work, social and love lives is not easy, but I'll get there with this fic in the end. Please bear with me like you have for so long.

I apologise now for the lack of betaing for this chapter. I'll have more time to look through it tomorrow and will replace with a beta-ed chapter eventually.

Ta :D

Step xxx

12. Confusion to Clarity

...

Something wasn't right.

Her eyes were blurry and grainy and she didn't know where she was.

She didn't really know who she was.

She closed her eyes when her head started to ache and she tried to think, but she started to go dizzy and felt sick. It was then that she realised she wasn't actually breathing. She started to panic, not knowing why her body wasn't doing what it should automatically do. She retched and coughed, which, thankfully, helped her body to perform it's most basic function, and breathe.

She took lung full after lung full of air. Stars appeared in front of her eyes and her head went fuzzy, but after a few seconds the head rush died.

She blinked and her eyes came into focus, she looked from right to left, half recognising where she was but not being able to put a name to the place.

It was then that she noticed she was holding something in her hand, something heavy, warm and clammy.

She looked down at her hand and followed the line of the arm that followed from the hand in hers. She took in the scarred arms, the familiar knitted jumper, the freckled, pale skin and the shocking red hair.

'Ron!'

Her voice cracked.

'Ron, wake up!'

She turned away from him, trying to work out why they had fallen asleep, wherever they were.

Her head was aching, thumping in time with her heartbeat. She unwound her fingers from around Ron's and took her hand away. As she did so, 'a sharp pain penetrated her temples'. She cried out in pain.

The pain died down and she looked around her again. A desk had been pulled out to next to the bed there were files, books and parchment sprawled all over it.

She shut her eyes, confusion overwhelming her. The last thing she remembered was noise, shouts and screams and pain. Her hand went to her side and she pulled up her top to search for any evidence of her pain. She looked at the skin: it was red where she had obviously been wounded, but it looked like it had been healed magically.

'If I've been healed, but only just woken up, why aren't I in St. Mungo's? Ron, why are we in Grimmauld Place?'

Her memory had finally recognised the room where she was as one of rooms in the Black's family home. She wasn't sure which one specifically but it was definitely Grimmauld Place, she had spent enough time here over the last year.

She swung her legs off the bed, and that was when she noticed a piece of parchment on the bed next to her. She read her name on the front and recognised the hand as Ron's.

'Ron, what's going on? What's all this stuff and why are we here and not at the hospital, or the Burrow? Ron?'

She turned and noticed Ron was still not stirring. She placed her hand on his shoulder and shook him to waken him.

'Ron!'

Still he did not stir.

'Ron?'

Panic started to build in her stomach as she shook him harder and still got no response from him. It was then that she looked at him closely. His fringe was stuck to his forehead, which was covered in sweat, he was paler than she had ever seen him and she noticed now that he was shaking.

'Ron! Ron what's wrong? What's wrong, my darling? Can you open your eyes for me, Ron? Please?'

She knelt on the bed next to him and felt his forehead. He was burning up.

She span round, desperate for some clue as to what was going on. It was then that her hand rested on the piece of parchment one more. Her head was telling her to go and get someone who could help Ron, and then explain what was going on, but her heart wanted to see what her Ron had written to her in a letter.

Her heart won.

Hermione,

If you're reading this then things have gone as planned in one way but not another. If you're reading this then it means you're awake, which was what I wanted more than anything in the world, and was the reason why I did what I did, regardless of the outcome.

But if you're reading this because I can't explain everything to you, then my second hope didn't quite work out.

I'll try and explain this as clearly as I can, but I'm in a bit of a hurry, so I'm sorry if I'm not as clear as I can be.

It started with the Final Battle, you were hurt and told me to go and help Harry, which I did and we won. The war is over, I think you know that, but I'm not sure how much you'll remember. When I came back to you, you were losing consciousness, I tried to heal you and managed to keep you alive until I got you to the hospital, where they healed your wound and cleaned your blood. The spell that hit you, as well as making you lose a lot of your blood, infected it with something and that made you lose consciousness.

This is where it gets weird. You know that time in sixth year, which we can't remember? The time we were inseparable because of Harry's dodgy potion. Apparently the potion left a residue in our blood that us and only us have. It made itself an integral part of our blood that we need to function. No one knows how or why, but it's the only logical explanation, I have it and I'm fine, you've got considerably less and aren't.

One day when I was with you in hospital, I fell asleep and I had this weird dream. I was in this place that was warm and sunny and there was green grass and blue sky, and I remembered stuff that happened in those weeks we can't remember. It's strange and I'm waffling now when I don't have the time to. Basically there's this subconscious place that we went to, we shared dreams there and when one was ill we went there to help the other heal. It's all in the notes I got from Madam Pomfrey; they're on the desk.

That's where I was and I knew I had to look for you and help you wake up. I came back from that dream with a Latin phrase, which I asked your dad to translate. It was 'Remember us together, remember our past'. I have no idea why I came back with that, maybe you were trying to help me help you, but it had a lot to do with me figuring out what would waken you up.

The Healers tried to duplicate what we have in our blood, but they couldn't. As soon as they tried to separate the blood to test it, it died within minutes, not giving them enough time to duplicate it or anything else helpful.

See, now I'm waffling out of order. Bloody typical! Before that all happened I asked Percy to hex me to sleep to see if I had any more dreams that would help me help you. During that sleep I went back to our place and I shouted and screamed for help. There was a tree there and our initials were in the bark. I touched them and couldn't pull my hand away. My head hurt and my energy left me. When I woke up I Percy told me I'd fitted but also said you'd reacted to whatever happened when I was asleep. When Healer Watson – your Healer at St. Mungo's – checked you over, he realised your brain was more active and you weren't in as deep a coma.

That was when they tested our blood and found all that stuff out about the residue and that they can't separate it and give you more of it.

Don't get annoyed with me, but I did all this because I know that what happened when I fell asleep the second time – when you reacted – helped you. They didn't test your blood before hand so they can't know if I gave you any more of the residue, or not. I know though, that I did. It all fits and is the most logical explanation. The Healers don't want to get their hopes up though.

Which is why you're in Grimmauld Place and not St. Mungo's. I brought you here but I didn't tell anyone. No one wanted me to do this because there was no solid evidence or some other bollocks. If you're angry at me, I'm sorry, but I had to do this. I knew it would work and wake you up, and that's worth everything to me. My life isn't complete without you, so I had to try.

I got everything I thought I might need: Our notes from Madam Pomfrey, books on Legilimancy – I thought opening my mind before I hexed myself to sleep may help with all this – Blood Replenishing Potion, decoy detonators and Peruvian darkness powder – just in case - blankets, water, and – sorry for taking it from your room – your Lapiz Lazuli pendent. Though it might bring us luck.

I think that's it, I don't have time to check if I've got everything down on here. This has taken me longer than I thought. They'll work out you're missing soon, again, sorry about that. I hope you forgive me.

I love you, Hermione. Nothing in the world would have stopped me doing this.

Don't do anything stupid.

Ron xxx

There were tears streaming down her face but she had no idea what specifically she was crying at.

There was so much information in her head, yet she needed more to fully understand. She turned around back to Ron and tried to wake him once more, but nothing happened. He was still hot, still clammy and still shaking.

'Oh God, Ron, what have you done?'

She stood up and looked around her, all the things Ron had mentioned were on and around the desk but she didn't know what to look at yet. Some part of her brain was screaming at her to get help, but she knew that Ron had brought her here for a reason. If she got someone here, they would take them back to hospital and separate them and not let her help him the way he had helped her.

Because that was what she had decided to do. It wasn't even a conscious thought. It was just something she had started thinking about as soon as she had stood up.

Now she was flicking through the notes that Madam Pomfrey had taken through her sixth year. Pieces of information were underlined and notes were written in the margins of the parchment. She recognised Ron's hand on occasion but there was another type of handwriting there, which she didn't recognise. She was pleased that the underlined bits of information, all together, succinctly told her what had happened through those weeks she couldn't remember.

After only a couple of minutes she moved on to her notes from the hospital – how Ron had acquired these she wasn't sure, but she realised if he had got her past everyone in the hospital, a file of notes wouldn't have been a major problem.

It was as if Ron had known she might've had to look at them, as the most relevant information was at the top of the pile, and the top pages were starred in the corner. When the stars stopped she stopped reading.

She picked one of the Legilimancy books off the table and before opening the volume she moved to the bed and picked up Ron's wand.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and opened the book at the contents page. She didn't get much further, however, because the door to the bedroom burst open.

Before thinking about it, she stood and pointed her wand at the door.

'EXPELLIARMUS!' she screamed.

A wand flew through the air and she caught it in her left hand. Only then did she see who had burst into the room.

It was Percy Weasley.

'Hermione! You're here! You're awake! You're… where's Ron?'

He was peering around her shoulder and spotted his brother on the bed.

'Ron!'

He set off for the bed but Hermione stepped in front of him, both wands drawn.

'Percy, stop!' she said firmly.

He stopped and stared at both the wands Hermione was holding.

'Hermione, you shouldn't be here, you've been ill and I have no idea what Ron's done but it can't be good if he's looking like that. You have to let me help him!'

He went to walk forward but Hermione lifted her arms higher, pointing the wands at Percy's throat.

'You're going nowhere near him. He's not leaving here until I've tried to help him. He did all this to wake me up and he succeeded, the least I can do is try and do the same for him.'

'Hermione don't be ridiculous! Helping you has got him in that state, and we don't even know what he did to wake you-.'

'I know exactly what he did. All I need to do is work out a safe way of reversing what happened to him.'

'There is no safe way to do it, Hermione!'

Hermione could see Percy was about to crack, he was frustrated and angry, but facing a woman with two wands. He visibly deflated.

'Look at him, Hermione,' he said, in a voice barely above a whisper. He's ill and needs help. Whatever he did to help you, has not been good for him.'

'If they find us here, they'll separate us and not let me help him, like they wouldn't let him help me.'

Tears burned her eyes again, but she couldn't let herself cry again. She had to make this right.

'There's a reason they didn't want him to help you the way he wanted to, Hermione, and it's lying right there on the bed. We thought this would hurt him in the process, that's why we wanted him to wait and find another way of sorting this out. From that point we were going to make you better without harming Ron.'

'But we're not at that point anymore, Percy. We're here and the only way to get us both back to normal, together, is for me to go back to our place.'

'No. I won't let you.'

'Percy, one flick of either of these wands and you'll be in no state to do anything.'

'Threatening people doesn't suit you, Hermione.'

'No it doesn't, but that doesn't change the fact that I will incapacitate you unless you try and help me.'

'The others will work out you're here soon. Everyone's looking for you and Ron, I know your Dad won't rest until he's found you.'

'My Dad?' Hermione said, tears threatening to escape her once more.

'He's visited you every day, him and your mum, and he tried to help Ron come to terms with what happened to you. Told him not to blame himself when that was all he was doing. He's treated Ron like a son, and by that I mean he's given him a bollocking on occasion as well as comforted him.'

Hermione looked at him. She knew he wouldn't leave willingly and she might need him to help her at one point.

She lowered her wands. Percy didn't move.

'Will you help me, help Ron?' she couldn't stop the tears falling this time.

'You're going to put yourself in danger, Hermione. How can I help you do that?'

'Because you know I'll do it anyway, and maybe with your help it might not come to the dangerous part.'

Percy smirked. 'Now both of you have used emotional blackmail on me. It's hardly fair, that, Hermione.'

'Nothing about this is fair, Percy. Nothing at all.'

Percy nodded in agreement.

'How do you think I can help you?'

'There's only one thing that I can do differently than what Ron did. He read a book on Legilimancy from the Hogwarts library. He was convinced that if he did the basic Legilimancy skills, learning to open his mind and concentrate on one specific thing, would help us communicate or something, when we were in our place.'

'What do you want to do differently?'

'It's the only thing I can think of, it came to me as I read the letter he wrote for me. Maybe because his mind was so open to finding me that it left him vulnerable to a body – me – which was desperate for whatever this stuff in our blood is and I just took it. If he'd been more protected from me, if he'd closed him mind before hexing himself to sleep, he might have controlled what he gave me, instead of letting me – by the looks of him – take most of what he had.'

Percy looked at Hermione, his eyes brighter. He looked to the table with all the things Ron had gathered, then back at Hermione.

'I might be able to give you a very basic understanding of Occlumency. It's nothing much, but it might help you to clear your mind and help you block out Ron for a bit, until you understand what's going on in there.'

Hermione sighed in relief.

'That's what I hoped you would say.'

She turned away from him and sat on the bed.

'Does anyone know you're here?' she asked.

'No. Oh! Kreacher does. It was Ron who told him to come and get me should things not go to Ron's plan.'

'Kreacher?' Hermione called.

With a crack, the old house elf appeared before her and Percy.

'Miss! You are awake! Master Ronald will be very pleased, very-.'

His eyes fell on Ron and widened.

'Master Ronald has not woken up!'

'No, Kreacher, he hasn't, but I'm going to wake him up, and I need your help.'

Kreacher kept his eyes on a still shaking Ron, but nodded his head.

'I need you to keep people away from this room, Kreacher. If you will take orders from me, then please do, and take those orders as not letting anyone else in this room. We need to be left alone. Will you do that?'

Kreacher nodded his head and disappeared with a crack. Hermione had no idea how he was going to achieve his task, but she didn't really care.

She turned back to Percy.

'Right, what do I need to know?'

For the next few minutes Percy quickly went through the basic ways to clear her mind. Hermione briefly remembered the odd phrase that Harry had spouted in rage when talking about Snape and his Occlumency lessons.

Just as Hermione thought she was calm enough to start thinking about Ron objectively but without feeling any strong emotions, she heard a loud bang downstairs, then shouts.

She laid down on the bed next to Ron and took his hands in hers.

'Percy, hex me to sleep, now!'

'No, Hermione, I wouldn't do it for Ron, and I won't do it for you.'

'But you did do it for Ron and you will do it for me!'

She glared at him as thundering steps came up through the various floors in the house. Hermione knew she only had a minute left at the most.

'Percy, please, I need you to do this for me. You're not doing it out of malice, you're doing it because I need to go and save your brother and the man I love.'

Percy kept looking over his shoulder at the door.

'Don't be a coward, Percy, don't wait until they arrive and take the decision out of your hands. Tell them anything. Tell them I never woke up if you want. Just tell them you found me here like this, I don't care.'

Her time had run out. The door burst open and in ran Charles and Harry. Charles stared at Hermione, his mouth opening a few times but no words coming out.

'Hermione!' Harry exclaimed. 'You're awake! Where's Ron?'

'He's still there, Harry, and I'm going back to find him. Don't you dare try and stop me, and don't bring me back. I come back with him, or I don't come back at all.'

She unwound her fingers from one of Ron's hands and snatched Percy's wand out of his hand.

'I'm trusting you, Harry,' she said as she placed the tip of the wand against her temple.

She looked at her dad and saw his eyes widen.

'No!' he whispered.

'I'm sorry, Dad, I'm truly sorry.'

'Hermione! No!'

She took a deep breath and imagined a large white space with nothing in it.

'Obdormio!'

If you could review and let me know what you think I'll love you forever. :D