Searching Chapter 14: 14 Fighting for a Way Back, a harry potter fanfic

Well, here it is, the final chapter before the epilogue.

See, I told you I'd get there eventually! lol

Yes, it's supposed to be confusing and hopefully you won't be disappointed with the end.

Thank you for taking this past 100 reviews, well happy :D

Shouldn't be too long until the epilogue, in the mean time if you could let me know what you think of this chapter I'd be very appreciative.

Ta muchly, Step ;) xxx

Chapter 14

She didn't understand.

Everything was black, yet she still had – apparently – rational thought.

She couldn't see anything, everything around her was black but she was comforted by the fact that she hands to bring up to her face, and a face for her hands to touch.

Because she hadn't ruled death out, and there was something about being able to feel your own skin and the hair on your own arms that comforted her. It was a greater comfort that she could feel she was wearing clothes, not because she had a particular fear of not being dressed, but she didn't think that the plane of existence above theirs was bothered with you bringing your clothes with you.

Unless of course that higher plane of existence just let you get on with things in any way you wanted.

No, she was sure that wasn't it.

'Hermione?'

She daren't move, not knowing if she had imagined Ron calling her name.

'Don't be stupid, you arse, now you're hearing things! Well, at least my imagination is making sure I don't get bored while stuck…wherever the hell I am!'

She didn't know whether her brain was doing what the Ron in her head thought his brain was doing, and the fact that something like that made complete and utter sense to her concerned her quite a bit.

'Ron? Are you there or is my brain doing what you think your brain's doing?'

'Hermione? What-? I-. What?'

'Ron, please just tell me if you're there, I can't see a thing and I need to know if I'm going insane slowly but at least with company, or I've found you.'

Tentatively she took a step forwards, not sure if she was walking on anything or whether she was about to fall off whatever she thought she was standing on and into nothingness.

Seriously, Hermione, not the time for concentrating on tiny, insignificant details!

'Hermione, I'd be concerned if you didn't concentrate on tiny, insignificant details.'

Her eyes widened and she breathed in sharply.

'Okay, Ron, I need to know what's going on. How the hell did you-'

Her heart sank, if the Ron she could hear could read her thoughts then, he had to be a figment on her imagination.

'Oh, well, at least if I'm making up people to have here with me, I have Ron.'

'Hermione, I have no idea how I knew what you were thinking then, but I did and I know you're here with me.'

'Okay,' she replied with a sigh. There was no point in her arguing, her subconscious would do what it wanted, apparently.

'Just to say it out loud and clarify things for myself, we've either found each other in a place different from our sanctuary, or we're trapped inside our own heads and have manifested the other into existence to keep ourselves company.'

'Well, yeah, I guess it could mean we're imagining the other in our heads, but… what if we're not? I'd rather think about that possibility than the other, because if we are here alone, then, well… I don't really need to finish that sentence, do I?'

Hermione sighed.

'No, I suppose not. But how do we prove to ourselves that we are here, in the pitch black… somewhere.'

Hermione was tired of moving her head around, trying to follow Ron's voice.

'Ron, stay still a minute, I'll try and find you, mind you, that's providing we actually have a physical form and I'm not imaging my body.'

'Oh, okay, I'll stay here, and I do think we have a physical form, I know I've scratched my b-'

'Yes, thank you, Ron.'

She heard him chuckle and moved towards the sound. She sensed she should stop and managed not to walk into him, but she knew she was standing next to him. She tentatively reached out a hand and her fingertips brushed against a knitted woollen jumper she knew all too well.

Within a second she had turned Ron around and wrapped her arms around him, she felt tears burn her eyes when his arms wrapped around her waist and her shoulders. Instantly she felt safe and a rush of energy surged through her. She had no idea what it was, but she felt stronger from it.

'I missed you,' Ron whispered.

'I missed you, too,' she replied, only just managing to choke her words out.

'We're a right pair, aren't we?'

Hermione nodded, unable to say anything. She swallowed and tried to calm herself down.

'That's why I came b…back for y…you,' she managed to say.

'What do you mean, you came back for me?'

'I w…woke up in Grimmauld Place and read your letter. You didn't wake up with me so your plan only half worked. I read the highlighted notes that you left in the room and then hexed myself to sleep next to you so I could help bring you back.'

She hadn't noticed Ron's grip on her become slightly tighter as she spoke.

'You…you woke up?'

She nodded.

'And I didn't.'

Again she nodded.

'But you did what I did and hexed yourself to sleep, to come back and get me.'

He released his grip on her and she knew he had taken a step back.

'But…' he started, obviously confused, 'but, I told… I left… Hermione I told you not to do anything stupid!'

Of everything she had, well, expected was hardly the right word, not here and not now, but whatever she thought may have transpired, Ron shouting at her wasn't one of them.

'What do you mean, anything stupid?' she retorted, a small amount of disbelief and anger building inside of her.

'THIS!,' Ron shouted in reply. 'You came back to get me when it might have killed you! Hell, that might be where we are now, in the afterlife! I was prepared to come here if it meant saving you, but you came back to get me when I told you not to!'

'Don't you dare take the moral high ground with me, Ronald Weasley! You do not get to be the only one who risks their health for the one they love. If it had been the other way around, and it had been you who was injured and unconscious and it was me who was stuck with the Healers trying to convince them that doing…our thing was the only way out of this and managed to get you to wake up and had succeeded, YOU would have been back here just like I am now!'

'But I told you not- hang on, can you see a bit better?'

Hermione looked around. She could see dark shapes moving around her, as if someone had just let the tiniest bit of light back into a room that had no windows.

'Yes, I can, actually, but don't think changing the subject will make me forget what I just said. I told Harry before I hexed myself, that I was coming back with you or not coming back at all. Now, I suggest you help me try and come up with a way out of here, Weasley, because I do not intend to be stuck here!'

'I'm still annoyed with you for not doing as I asked.'

'And I'm still annoyed with you for thinking I would.'

'I take it we believe that the other isn't a figment of our imagination anymore.'

'Well, even if you are, I'd rather pretend that your not and keep myself occupied with at least believing we're working our way out of here, wherever here is.'

'Like always, my love, I can't argue with your logic.'

…

Ron had absolutely no idea if he had gone insane, or whether he was actually hearing the woman he loved having an argument with himself.

He could see her, when he managed to gather the strength to open his eyes, and was more concerned when he saw her wander around in their field and then stand as if she was hugging someone. He presumed she thought she was hugging him. He just wished he could hug her once more.

He had somehow got used to the pain in his head, he knew it was still there, but it wasn't as bad as it had been when he had been holding her hands, he had honestly thought he was dying then, convinced no one could survive whatever had caused that pain in the first place. But apparently he had, because he was here now.

When he had woken up he had no strength to do anything, and he only just managed to open his eyes. That was when he saw her and his heart had filled with happiness and dread. She shouldn't have been there, he knew that his plan was going to work; she should be awake and healthy. But she was back here with him.

It was then that she opened her eyes and it was then that he felt a little stronger. He was holding her hand and knew it was doing him good. He wanted her to take his other hand, everything would be okay if she did that, but she hadn't. Instead she had put her forehead to his and it had all gone black again.

He managed to push himself onto his front. Somehow he reached his left arm forward and bent his right leg up behind him. He gripped the long grass between his fingers, and hoped that his foot wouldn't slip on the grass. With one almighty push from his leg, he moved forwards a few inches.

He slumped to the ground, exhausted but encouraged. He knew he had to get to Hermione and try and help her, clearly things weren't right.

When he had opened his eyes again she was not next to him as he remembered, she was a few metres away looking around her, and her arms were moving in a way that suggested she couldn't see anything. That worried him more than anything, it was daylight where they both were and there was no reason why she shouldn't be able to see where she was.

He reached his right arm forward and bent his left leg up behind him, he took a couple of deep breaths and heaved himself forward.

'What do you mean, anything stupid?'

She had taken a step back, which, thankfully, brought her closer to him. He carried on struggling to get to her, ignoring the burning in his muscles and the building pain in his head.

'Don't you dare take the moral high ground with me, Ronald Weasley!'

He laughed as he heaved himself forwards once more. Apparently in Hermione's subconscious, whatever situation 'they' were in, they were bickering.

This comforted him no end.

He managed to arrange himself so he was kneeling on the grass, his toes curled so he could stand up as and when he had the strength.

His dry sob caught him off guard. He had listened when she shouted at 'him' that he would have done the same had the tables been turned, and he couldn't fault her for thinking that – it was true after all.

With a huge push with his hands and his legs he managed to stand. He wobbled dangerously and his head swam. He stumbled forwards but managed to stay upright.

'And I'm still annoyed with you for thinking I would.'

He was behind her and needed her to turn around, he wasn't sure if he could do anything but stand there and sway.

'Well, even if you are, I'd rather pretend that you're not and keep myself occupied with at least believing we're working our way out of here, wherever here is.'

He had no idea what that meant, but she had done what he hoped, in looking for something she had turned around.

He did the only thing he could think of and took her hand.

…

The pain took her completely by surprise. She had closed her eyes instinctively but managed to open them.

When she did she was confused.

She was back in their sanctuary, but she could hardly call it that anymore. It was cold, the sky was dark and it was raining.

'R…Ron?' she said shakily, looking at the man in front of her.

He was nothing like the Ron she had just been arguing with and talking to.

'Hermione, I know you're confused, so am I, but you have to listen to me. You came back to get me, and you have no idea how much I love you for that even though I'm angry with you too. But you're here and I'm here and I'm guessing we have to help each other out of here. When I woke up you were here and it looked like you were meditating, but something changed because you lay down next to me and put your forehead next to mine. I know why you did that, it's what we did, wasn't it? That's how we helped each other heal, but something weird happened. We both blacked out, and when I woke up you were walking around and talking to me, but you couldn't see anything around you.'

She blinked the rain out of her eyes but couldn't stop looking at Ron. His hand tightened around hers and she winced as the pain in her head increased. Her legs started to shake and she felt a dizzy. She took a few deep breaths to try and calm herself down.

'I managed to get myself over here towards you and I think you're back with me. Don't ask me about the weather, it just suddenly turned. I've never seen this place like this and frankly, it's starting to scare me. This used to be a place we came when we needed to help each other, but now it's like it doesn't want us here. I have no idea how I know that but I do, it's time for us to go, the thing is, I have no idea how to get us out of here.

She watched as he took a deep breath and took a step towards her.

Her legs shook dangerously and another wave of dizziness overcame her. She knew she was giving Ron the potion remnant he needed, but with every second she knew it was damaging her.

She had to stop it, but she didn't know how.

'Ron, you have to let go of my hand. Please. I need to stop it, or we'll be back where we were before you came to get me. We can't come back here, I know that now, whatever happens, whether one of us makes it out of here, both of us or neither of us, we can't come back here. We both know that. I have to control what I give you, or else, I'll be stuck here. Please, let go of my hand.'

She saw Ron hesitate a little bit but then he shook his head as if clearing his head of thoughts he couldn't understand.

'Of course.'

She felt him try and pull away but he couldn't let go of her hand.

'Please, Ron, now.'

She slumped to her knees.

'I can't let go, Hermione! I'm trying, believe me I'm trying!'

He sunk to his knees, and grabbed her arm with his other hand, trying to pull her hand away from his.

'Hermione, I can't let go! I'm sorry! I can't let go!'

Hermione smiled, despite the pain she was feeling. She knew this was it, that she would be here for eternity, but she was content in the knowledge that Ron would carry on.

'Ron, when you wake up, tell Mum and Dad, I'm sorry, but I had to, okay?'

'Don't you fucking dare start talking like that, Hermione Granger, you're going to wake up when I do, right?. You can beat this, you're mentally stronger than I am. Stop me taking it, stop me killing you, please. Do what you were doing when you first arrived, you were fine then. Think Hermione, what were you doing at the beginning? We were holding hands then, and yet you were fine. I didn't get stronger, and you were fine. Whatever you did, do it again!'

She remembered. She remembered what she was doing, she had closed off her mind to him, and tried to think of him as just someone. Just a person, not Ronald Weasley: the man she loved.

She imagined her white room, but she couldn't get rid of Ron's face from her mind. She slowed her breathing, and tried to control her heart, which she could feel pounding against her rib cage.

Her head swam, but still she tried to block him out. The pain in her head levelled and she felt herself calm down a little. It was working, she could feel herself gain a little strength back.

'Please,' she whispered, 'help me, Ron.'

She felt his other hand press on her shoulder, and felt him move towards her.

He pressed his forehead against hers, and again the pain lessened. Still she imagined her white room, but then she saw them watching the sunrise together. She wiped the image from her mind, and brought herself back to her white room.

Ron pushing her off the chair, her being shoved into a dark classroom, their detentions together, their arguments, making each other's breakfast, they each invaded her mind one after the other, and with each memory the pain increased and she felt herself succumbing to the darkness that was invading her pristine white room.

Their shared dreams, their shared emotion, their shared pain, their first kiss…

She gasped as the pain increased, knowing this was it, that she had lost the battle, she put her hand on the back of Ron's head and tilted her head up so she could kiss him.

She poured everything she had never said to him into that kiss, how much she respected him, admired him and loved him.

They broke apart, neither knowing why they had or wanting to. They looked into each other's eyes and held their breaths.

'I love you,' Hermione whispered as her eyes closed.

'No, Hermione, don't you dare leave me.'

It felt like she was floating, all she could see was white.

'Hermione! I love you! Come back with me, okay? Don't you dare leave me!'

---

He gulped at the cold air surrounding him. He opened his eyes and saw Harry, Percy and Charles looking over him. He sat up momentarily confused.

'Hermione!' he whispered.

He turned and saw her lying on her back, her head turned away from him.

'Hermione, wake up, wake up! I told you not to stay, I told you to come back with me! You have to have made it back!'

He stopped and looked at her, looking for any sign that she was waking up.

Without thinking he leant down and kissed her softly.

She took a deep breath in, rising off the bed as she did, and then fell back down.

'Tell me that's a good sign, please!'

Ron ignored Charles' comment, waiting for any more reaction from Hermione.

'That's more than you did after Hermione had woken up,' Percy said, obviously trying to assure someone that what they had just witnessed was a good sign.

Ron frantically looked around the room, his eyes fell on the bottle of Blood Replenishing Potion.

'The potion!' he shouted.

'She's already had some, Ron! We gave her a bottle about' Harry checked his watch before continuing, 'forty minutes ago.'

'You did?' Ron asked, his brow furrowing.

'Yeah, we thought it might help, your weird thing can't be duplicated outside your body, but it wasn't logical that it couldn't duplicate itself when it was inside your body. We thought she would need all the stuff she could get, so forced her to take some potion once she'd hexed herself.'

'She needs some more! I tried not to take all of hers from her, but I don't know, it was weird, I couldn't control it. Hermione tried to slow it down and then stop it and it started to work, I know it did. I just don't know… Give her another bottle.'

'Ron, we don't know how much is safe for her to have. She's already had one whole bottle, too much could damage her arteries or her heart.'

Ron shook his head.

'She's allowed two bottles in an hour if in dire emergency, even if she's not lost anymore blood, after that it's no more than half a bottle every two hours. She'll be fine.'

'How the hell do you know that?' Harry asked without thinking.

'You don't go to all the trouble of stealing highly valuable potion from a hospital without knowing how much a person can have, do you? I have no idea why I brought it, it was just a hunch, and, you know, if you tap the label with your wand, the dosage instructions reveal themselves.'

Harry, Percy and Charles all looked at each other, Harry and Percy turning red with embarrassment.

'Let's pretend we didn't actually know that, and not admit we totally forgot it in the heat of the moment, okay?' Percy said with a shake of his head.

'Deal,' Harry said.

He walked to the desk and uncorked a bottle. Ron took it from him and looked down on Hermione.

'I don't think she's gonna swallow this on her own.'

'Oh, please, no, not again,' Charles said, pleadingly.

'What? Not what again?' Ron asked.

Harry and Percy looked at each other.

'Ron, this isn't going to be pleasant.

…

It had been fifteen minutes since Hermione had been given the potion. Ron had known in the back of his mind what was about to happen, but that still didn't mean he wasn't still shaking from watch Hermione be forced to swallow the potion.

Every couple of minutes he checked her pulse rate, it had been increasing slightly, but he had no idea whether that was a good thing or not.

'Ron, we have to get her to the hospital, now,' Charles said quietly but firmly. 'We've waited long enough, any longer and she may not wake up at all.'

It pained him to believe that Hermione hadn't been able to help herself, and that it had been him she had had to protect herself from, but he knew that the best place for her now, was back at St. Mungo's.

He nodded and heard footsteps cross the room and open the door. He stretched out beside her and put his leg over hers, he wound his arm underneath her back and buried his face in her hair.

'I'm sorry, Hermione. I'm truly sorry.'

For how many minutes he stayed like that he wasn't sure, but eventually he heard bangs down stairs and the sound of feet on the many stairs.

'I love you, Hermione, for ever and eternity.'

He kissed her temple and rested his forehead against hers.

'Good t…to know.'

He pulled back with a start and looked into Hermione's eyes, which were blinking.

'Hermione! Tell me I'm not dreaming, please, tell me I'm not dreaming.'

'What?' Charles said from the other side of the room.

'You're awake!' Ron whispered to Hermione.

She shuffled and tried to sit up but she shut her eyes and pressed her hand to her forehead.

'Ron, what's-'

Charles crossed the room in five strides and fell to his knees next to the bed.

'Oh, thank God! Thank you, thank you, thank you.'

'Dad?' Hermione asked, her hand still on her forehead.

'I'm here, sweetheart, I'm here. And you have no idea how happy I am to see you back here, too.'

Hermione had started to push herself onto her elbows but stopped mid motion.

Suddenly she turned her head towards Ron.

'Merlin, it worked! We're back! Both of us! We're back!'

She sat up and wrapped her arms around Ron, who held her as tightly as she was holding him.

'Yep! You did it! You brought me back and managed to stop me taking all of the potion stuff. I woke up first and we gave you the Blood Replenishing Potion to help you duplicate what you had left, thankfully you woke up. We'd just sent for the Healers to come and take you back to the hospital and you woke up. I thought…I thought I'd lost you for good.'

The door opened and Harry walked in, with Healer Watson hurrying after him.

'Miss Granger! You're awake! When did this happen?' He demanded of Ron.

'Um, a couple of minutes ago…yeah.'

Healer Watson starting waving his wand over Hermione, spells covered her and surrounded her.

'I presume you're Healer Watson,' she said with a small frown.

'I am, Miss Granger, and you have no idea how relieved I am that you are safe and apparently, sound. Mister Weasley's actions could have put you in grave danger.'

'But they didn't, did they? I'm fine, I'm awake and Ron's fine and awake also.'

'Be that as it may, Miss Granger, removing you from the hospital without permission from a senior Healer was against the law and highly dangerous.'

Hermione sat up and waved away the coloured spirals that were currently circling her head.

'I do not at all wish to seem ungrateful, Healer Watson, I'm sure the care you gave me while in St. Mungo's was second to none, and for that, I thank you, but Ron didn't actually break the law. He, Harry and I have in place living wills, that instruct, should one of us be in a state where it is thought that recovery is not possible, then we are to be brought home, or somewhere similar. Isn't that right, Harry, Ron?'

Ron had no idea about what Hermione had just said, but he had a feeling she was trying to protect him from getting into trouble with the hospital and the Ministry.

'Yeah, yeah, that's right,' Harry answered from behind Ron.

Ron nodded in agreement and Hermione took his hand in hers.

'Ron was merely following my wishes.'

'It does not change the fact, Miss Granger, that he went about it in totally the wrong way. I do not want to go into the paperwork that is needed in this situation, because to be perfectly honest it bores me senseless, but it is in place for a reason. However, at the present time, my concern is not the legality of Mister Weasley's actions, it is of your health, Miss. Granger. I must insist that you accompany me to the hospital right away, so we can confirm you are in good health as my preliminary tests have indicated.'

Hermione nodded.

'I will accompany you to the hospital, Healer Watson, but in half an hour or so, I wish to talk to Ron, Harry, Percy and my mum and dad first. Your preliminary tests show you that I am fine, if a little tired, and that I will not come to any harm from spending another half an hour here.'

'But Miss Gra-'

'If you so wish, you can come back personally and get me, Healer Watson, but please just give me half an hour with my friends and family, first.'

Healer Watson took a deep breath and, realising Hermione wasn't moving until she wanted to, he stood and nodded at her.

'Half an hour, Miss Granger, then I will be back to personally escort you back to my ward.'

Hermione smiled.

'Thank you, Healer Watson.'

The Healer left the room.

'Thank you!' Ron said to Hermione, giving her a quick kiss.

'I won't let you get into trouble for this, that was the first thing I could think of, although,' she turned to harry and Percy, 'we may have to produce three pieces of parchment which state what I just said and look like they've been through what we have, in our back pockets for a year.'

Harry sniggered and Percy nodded his head.

'I'll work something out, Hermione.'

'Thanks, Percy.'

She turned back to Ron and kissed him again.

'I remember everything,' she said with a small smile.

'Me too,' Ron replied.

'It's a bit weird, I remember our first kiss as if it was yesterday, I remember you taking me to watch the sunset, I remember the fight we had and the way we made up, and I remember everything that happened when we were there.'

Ron smiled.

'Me, too. I have to say, that was a pretty explosive first kiss!'

They both laughed.

'You have to admit, I think it's best we never have that reaction when we kiss, ever again.'

'Yeah, I think you're right.'

Ron rubbed his eyes, which were stinging with tiredness.

'I think I'll go and freshen up; I haven't washed in longer than I wish you to know. I'll be back in a few minutes, I think we have some explaining to do.'

He looked over his shoulder and saw Harry, Percy and Charles waiting patiently for them to stop talking.

Hermione nodded. Ron got up off the bed and headed to the door at the far side of the room, he opened the door and stepped through to the very posh en-suite bathroom.

'Oh, Ron,' Hermione called at him. He turned around.

'Yeah?'

'Don't go falling asleep on the toilet, you know it does your neck no good.'

Ron's head dropped and he started laughing.

'Yep, you said you'd never let me forget that.'

'What can I say? I'm a woman of my word!'