Disclaimer: I Do not own FF7, it's characters, or anything dealing with Square Enix. This is a work of literary fiction and I do not gain anything from it other than personal pleasure.

A/N: OK. So here's the drunk Yuffie, as promised... but when it came time to figure out Reno's reward... with Mellon's help, my mind kinda reverted back to it's former sadism. It will be in the next chapter... and all I have to say in defense, is that THIS is what happens when I read too much Yaoi... BDSM Yaoi, specifically. Anyway, enjoy...

Keela was standing a few feet away from their destination, "Uh, Vincent?"

"Yes?" He asked, at first not knowing why Keela had stopped. Looking up, he saw what had Keela so stunned. "Oh, dear gods." He mumbled.

Yuffie had gotten herself another drink and was now, to Angeal's surprise, crawling over his lap to get to Yume. Once there, she threw her arm around her, "So, Yume. You and Angeal, huh? That's hot. You know, Yume be Fair, but Angeal is downright sexy." She snickered to herself over her joke. After taking a big drink, she attempted to lean back and whisper in Yume's ear. She ended up leaning back and letting her head drop onto Yume's shoulder at an upside down angle, and her whisper was anything but. "That's my boyfriend." She said, pointing to where Vincent was standing at the end of the table, arms crossed, "But, Shh. Don't tell him. He doesn't like the b- word."

Yume tried to hold in a snort as best she could. She failed, miserably. But luckily Vincent spoke up before Yuffie noticed. "I assure you, Yuffie, I have no objections with that endearment. However, that discussion would be best suited for when you are sober."

Yuffie's eyes got huge, as she looked at Yume. "How'd he know what I said? He can read minds!"

Before Yume could answer, Vincent had asked Angeal to move, and was in the process of retrieving his wayward lover. "Come on, Yuffie. You are being cut off." He started to lead her towards the door, intent on seeing her to her room, when she began to object.

"No! Vince, I promise not to drink anymore. Just please let me stay down here." She whined, bouncing up and down.

Vincent looked at her, gauging how drunk she was. "Fine. But you are to sit by me. No getting up and moving around. If you need to use the bathroom, Keela or Yume will take you. And Yuffie..." He trailed off, waiting for her to look at him. "No alcohol."

"Sir." She nodded, with a salute.

After everyone was situated around the table, Tifa included even if only for a minute, Keela spoke up. "Alright, since everyone is here, I suppose you'd all like to know why we are celebrating tonight." She laughed, "Not that we need a reason, but... after much thought, and deliberation... I have decided to resume my position as Second in Command of the TURKS. Well, next to Reno that is... we'll share the title."

Tseng and Rufus were grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats. "We are glad to have you back, my dear." Rufus stated.

"Indeed, we are. Perhaps now I'll actually be able to read the daily reports again." He teased, looking at Reno.

"Oh, ha fucking ha, Tseng." Reno answered.

Tseng smiled, "All joking aside, we have truly missed you, Keela. I'm sure this was a tough decision for both of you, but we are glad none the less."

Rufus nodded, as did Rude. After the rest of them congratulated her, Yuffie rather loudly, Reeve lifted his drink up. "I propose a toast. To becoming one big, happy, albeit dysfunctional, family. Only the gods know why it works, but we're OK with that."

"Here, here!" Reno and Cloud yelled, adding their bottles to the wide array of glasses being clinked together.

Vincent let Yuffie join in the toast, but made sure she knew, "After that's gone, you are done."

"Mmm... 'Kay." She smiled, taking a big swig.

~! #$%^&*

Reno looked over at Rude, who had a reserved look on his face. "Hey, partner. Come out and smoke with me." He said.

"You can smoke in here, Reno." Rude answered, without looking up from his drink.

"I don't wanna smoke around Kee. Just come out with me." He retorted.

After a second, Rude agreed and followed Reno outside. Reno lit his clove before he blurted out. "Alright, what gives, partner? You've been awfully quiet. Are you OK with Kee goin' back to work?"

Rude sighed, "Yeah. I just... we need to finish up with that animal before she starts work on Monday."

"Shit, you're right. Let's go right now. Kee won't notice." Reno suggested.

Rude laughed, "First, Kee would definitely notice. And second, you are half in the barrel... we can wait til tomorrow."

Reno was going to object, but thought twice. "Yeah, you're right, yo. I wanna remember killing that fucker."

Rude sighed, "Reno, the baby is fine. I don't think there is any reason to kill him. Incarcerate him, sure. But not kill him."

"Alright, I won't kill him, but I'm not done with him yet either. I mean, come on, yo. Ya can't tell me you ain't curious as to what those other buttons do." Reno grinned, thinking of the torture gun.

Rude chuckled, his partner was alot like Zack, even though they weren't blood related... they were both as curious as puppies.

Reno finished up with his smoke, and the two walked back into the bar. They were a bit surprised when they returned to find out that their little 'party' had increased in size. Barrett, Cid, and Cid's wife Shera were sitting at a table that had been added to the booth and Reno and Rude's spots had been taken over by Elena and Cissnei.

"Well, Well. What do we have here? Tryin' to steal my girl?" Reno joked to Elena.

"Of course not, Reno." She smiled back.

Just then a song came on that Reno couldn't resist. He grabbed for Keela and practically dragged her onto the dance floor. Cissnei and Elena were dragged along with.

"When I walk on by, girls be lookin' like damn he fly." The song started. Reno whispered to Elena, who nodded and by what was either sheer luck or blackmail, got Tseng and Rude to join the bunch of them. Reno got really into it.

"I pimp to the beat, walkin' down the street in my new la freak, yeah." He sang, running his hands up and down his Leather pants. Before any of them realized it, partly due to the alcohol consumption from everyone but Keela, there was an all out TURK rendition of 'Sexy And I Know It' going on. Tseng didn't look too happy to begin with, but once he saw the grin on Rufus' face, he grabbed the President and decided to enjoy himself. He was sure Reno was going to win the bet the two of them made, judging by how easy it was to get Rufus to dance.

Yume couldn't believe her eyes. She grabbed her phone and proceeded to record the whole scene. She looked at Reeve, "Are they always like this?"

Reeve smiled, "Not when they are all sober. Except perhaps Reno, he's always been... well, Reno."

Yuffie was getting distracted by the fun they were all having. "Vince, will you please take me out there? I wanna dance!"

The idea of dancing didn't really appeal to Vincent, but the pitiful look on his lover's face was almost too sad to ignore. "I think not." He managed to say in response.

"Please, Vince. You'll be there with me." She begged.

"That is the main part that I am objecting to, Yuffie." He smiled.

"Then can I go by myself?" She hoped.

"No." He said, firmly.

Yuffie was wound so tight, she was bouncing in her seat. When she heard his answer she stopped abruptly, with a 'Hmph', pouting.

Vincent raised one eyebrow. He shook his head a bit, to himself, before downing the rest of his Tequila Sunset and grabbing her hand. "I know I'm going to regret this." He said, as he directed her to the dance floor. Yuffie was back to bouncing again. She made a noise in her excitement that made Vincent stop walking and look back at her. "Did you just Squee at me?" He asked. Her response was to bite her lip and smile, while nodding. Vincent smiled, as he shook his head again and continued on to join their friends.

Yume nearly dropped the phone when she saw Yuffie and Vincent start dancing. There was a different song playing now, but it was even more hilarious. Reno was in the middle of the group yelling loudly. "I wanna see your peacock cock cock. Your peacock cock . Your peacock cock cock. Your peacock." Yuffie was rubbing wildly against Vincent, who looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Poor guy." She said, pointing it out to Angeal, who was chatting with Cloud and Barrett.

"So, Yume." Cloud piped up, including her in the conversation. "What was so funny about what Yuffie said to you?" He was slurring a bit, but she could still understand him.

"Um, well. She played on my name. Although thankfully, my middle name doesn't start with a b. That would be horrid. It's nothing new though, all through school kids made fun of my name. Like, 'Yume Fair well, but I will still beat you.' That kind of thing." She smiled.

Cloud was a bit slow to catch on. "Wait, your last name is Fair?"

Angeal sensed some tension, "Yeah, she's Zack's little sister."

Jolting out of his stupor a bit, he jumped up. "What?!"

Angeal stood up in front of Yume, as a barrier. Hoping to talk some sense into Cloud.

Reno and the group were making their way back to the booth, and Reno misread what was going on. "Hey, Strife. What'd you do? Hit on my sister? That's Angeal's territory, yo."

Cloud's head whirled over to look at the redhead. "I thought she was Zack's sister."

"She's both, Cloud." Keela said, calmly. "That reminds me," She added, looking at Yuffie, "How did you know?"

Yuffie got a disgruntled expression on her face as she thought for a second. "Uh, Vincent. I think..."

Keela stared at her crimson- eyed friend, "And you?"

"Reeve." He stated, cooly

She whirled around to look at Reeve. "And how did you find out?"

Next to her, Tseng raised his hand and broke the kiss Rufus had just laid on him. "Guilty." He muttered.

They all looked incredulously at him. "What?" He asked.

"Blabbermouth." Keela and Yume said at almost the same time. Tseng just shrugged, and returned his lover's kiss.

Reno was watching the two men closely, and Keela noticed he was silently counting. "HA! More than five seconds is mackin', I win, yo!"

"And what exactly did you win, Reno?" Keela asked.

"Well, if I lost, I was gonna be on Dark Nation duty for a month. Which I'm glad I don't have to do, she fuckin' hates me, yo."

"And if you won?" She asked, getting impatient.

"Um, I love you?" He said guiltily.

"Reno..." She warned, slowly.

"Alright, yo. Rufus agreed to give me permission to to use some of Tseng's personal arsenal on that creature that attacked you." He said, knowing he was in trouble, though he thought he was in trouble for a whole different reason.

Keeela glared hard at her husband. "I'm sorry. Perhaps being pregnant has affected my hearing. Did you just say you have him in custody still? Reno, why wasn't he handed over to the police?"

Reno bit his lip, before answering. "Well, Kee, Rude and I were gunna finish up with him tomorrow."

"Finish up?" She yelled.

"Keela, this is a TURK issue, we are going to settle it like TURKS." Reno said, boldly.

Keela's eyes burned red, Yume saw it and blurted out, "Oh, you done pissed off the pregnant lady."

Ignoring her sister- in- law, she glared at Reno. "I'M a TURK. And if anyone is going to settle this, it's going to be me." With that, she grabbed her purse and looked at Tseng. "As for your arsenal, I don't need anyone's permission. I know exactly where it is. And if either you or Rufus have a problem with it, you know where I'll be." With that, she walked out the door.

Reno made to go after her, when Yume piped up. "You're really going to go there?"

"Yeah, I'm gunna go there." He replied.

"Well, if you go there, I'm gunna go there. And if I go there, I'm gunna go so there, you're gunna wish you stayed here. Besides, you're drunk. Sit your ass down, big brother, I'm going with her." With that, she gave Angeal a quick kiss and darted out of the bar after Keela. Leaving the assembled party to gawk after them.