A/N: Thanks to everyone for the wonderful response to the last chapter. I'm so happy everyone is enjoying this story! With a lot of the UST resolved in the last chapter, you may be wondering what's left to talk about. Well stick with me, because life (not to mention Joham) isn't done with Leah and Nahuel yet!
MunkeeRajah and Evelyn worked their usual magic on this chapter. Without them, I dwell in darkness. (If you get that reference, I will be very impressed).
Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter 17 – Everything is You
Leah POV
"When did you know?"
I was sprawled on my stomach on top of the rumpled bed sheets, poised on the edge of blissful unconsciousness. Every muscle and tendon in my body was thoroughly relaxed, and my brain was nearing total shut-down mode. Nahuel's question, whispered hotly against the skin where my neck met my shoulder blades, threatened to reawaken my brain and body.
Pretend you're already asleep. Maybe he'll get the hint and take a nap, too.
Of course, he didn't. In the twelve hours we'd spent in my bed, I'd learned my imprint had no qualms about waking me up when he wanted me, whether it was for more planet-shifting sex or just to talk. I wasn't surprised that Nahuel was an enthusiastic lover; we'd both been resisting our urges for a month, and we definitely had a sexual backlog to work through. But the fact that he was a talker, well, that was a bit of a shock.
He wanted to know every thought I'd ever had, and peppered me with near-constant questions, even in the most passionate of moments. I'd found it sweet and flattering at first. But now, after the accumulation of three days of emotional exhaustion and poor sleep, and more recent hours of athletic love-making, his inquisitiveness was nothing but a road block on my trip to la-la land.
When I didn't answer him, Nahuel began kissing and licking down the ridge of my spine. If I remained silent—a near impossibility considering what those kisses were doing to my nether regions—he'd just continue. He'd soon reach a location on my body that would make it impossible for me to keep feigning sleep. That would lead to more sex but still wouldn't halt his questions. It only meant I'd be answering them while he was inside me and my brain-to-mouth filter was completely off.
I sighed and rolled over, forcing my bleary eyes to focus on his face hovering only inches from mine. His eyes were luminous, adoring and damnably alert, as he watched me expectantly. A warm wave of emotion washed through me. How could I not give him whatever he wanted when he looked at me like that?
"When did I know what?"
"When did you know you had imprinted on me?"
Seriously? Wasn't it the chick who was supposed to ask the guy when he first realized he was interested in her? Since declaring his love at great volume in my kitchen this morning, Nahuel had been dropping surprise after surprise on me. Right up there with the talker thing was the fact that he was also a hopeless romantic. Who'd have guessed a blood-thirsty half-vamp would be so in touch with his feminine side?
My answer would probably annoy him, but after the progress we'd made today, there was no way I was going to be less than honest with him.
"Right away."
Surprise rounded his clear, warm eyes. "Do you mean when Jacob brought me here?"
I sighed again and pushed myself up to a seated position, resting my back against the headboard. Obviously, this was going to lead to a more intense discussion—and less sleep—than I'd planned.
"No," I said, shaking my head. I had to tell him the truth, but I didn't want to see the look in his eyes as I did it. I hiked the sheet up under my armpits and fixed my gaze on my toes peeking out from the bottom of it. "When I first saw you in the Cullens' living room."
I held my breath. He must realize that I'd just admitted to lying by omission since the day he arrived in Forks. I waited for his anger, but it didn't materialize. Instead, he reached for my hand, turned it palm-up in his and began a careful study of each finger.
"I was very … confused, then," he said, his tone hesitant as if he were revealing something shameful. "I could barely focus my thoughts. The grief of Huilen's loss and fear of my sire were overwhelming. Then you entered like an avenging warrior and called me a coward. I had never seen anyone or anything so beautiful, but you were very angry with me. It made me angry as well."
Remorse slapped me painfully. "I'm sorry," I said softly, not for the first time, but possibly the first time I'd really meant it.
His golden brown eyes flashed to mine, and a forgiving smile curled his perfect lips. "Do not be. Anger was exactly what I needed at that moment. It gave me something to focus on. You gave me an outlet for the emotions I could not control."
He sat up beside me, moving closer until his lips were brushing against my cheek. "Shall I tell you when I knew I wanted you?"
I laughed. "I think that's pretty obvious. It was that night on the beach."
"No …" He hesitated and his smile broadened. "That is when I decided to stop fighting my desire for you. I began to want you my first night in this house, when you helped me control my panic."
He hooked an index finger in the bed sheet just below my collar bone and began to gently tug it down. As the sheet rode lower on my chest, he slipped his hand beneath it and palmed my breast. "Merely touching your hand made me so hard and hungry I could not think."
My breath started to wobble in my throat. I felt his lips curve against my cheek as he felt my reaction and heard my heart rate increase.
Mother Nature, that manipulative bitch, had designed his body for the sole purpose of exciting mine. In the past twelve hours, Nahuel had spent more time inside me than separated from me, and still it wasn't enough—for either of us. He was ready again, and so was I. But perversely, my mind was lingering on the train of our conversation, unwilling to depart the station so quickly when such interesting information was coming over the loud speaker.
"If you wanted me, why were you so damned stand-offish?" I wheezed, struggling to keep my thoughts on track as his index finger began to circle and worry my nipple. "It was infuriating."
"I did not want to want you," he said, as if that were the most reasonable explanation in the world.
Actually, I understood. I hadn't wanted to want him, either. I hadn't wanted any imprint in my life, let alone a half-vampire who was suffering from panic attacks and post-traumatic stress. Yet here we were, both of us better and whole for having been brought together by that damned biological imperative.
His introspection and manual explorations had pretty much quashed my desire for sleep. But not for him. And not for more insight into his soul. Since he was still calm after my revelation of just how long I'd been keeping the truth from him, I decided to push my luck a little.
As his lips joined his hands in exploring my torso, I squeaked out the question that had been burning in my head and heart. He'd never really answered me when I let it slip out in the kitchen this morning.
"Why did you stay away for three days? You told me you would never leave me," I didn't want it to sound like an accusation, and I hated the pathetic quaver in my voice. "I thought that was the best moment of my life. But then, after the fight … well, I came home and waited for you, but you never came."
His hands stilled on my breast, and his mouth paused on my collar bone. Damn. So much for his sexual multi-tasking skills.
Shut up, witch. This is important.
His hand left my breast and his warm, muscled arm wrapped around my waist to pull me closer. He pressed his lips against my throat, nuzzling his face into the curve of my shoulder. I knew him well enough by now to realize his embrace wasn't sexual. He was hiding from me. I ran the fingers of both hands through his thick, silky hair, gently massaging his scalp with my nails.
"Can't you tell me?"
"I was afraid," he muttered, his words a barely audible caress against my skin.
The pre-Nahuel Leah—bitchy, self-wounding Leah—wouldn't have had the patience to let him say what he needed to in his own time. But I was the new, improved Leah, and I finally cared about someone else's pain more than my own. So I continued to stroke his hair and waited for him to go on.
He breathed against my skin for a few moments, calming himself with my scent, and then he released me, rolling to sit with his back pressed against the headboard. He propped his forearm over his eyes. "I had suspected for a while that there was something more to our mutual attraction than mere lust," he said.
Still hiding from me, but at least still talking. Progress. I shifted to my side so that I could curl against him, my fingers brushing lightly, soothingly over the fine dusting of hair on his abdomen.
"Then, what happened in the clearing … Seth imprinting on my sister …" His words trailed off. Clearly, he was struggling to verbalize some very complex emotions. My heart sang for his simple effort. The shell of fear and despair that had trapped him for so long wasn't entirely gone yet, but we were chipping away at it.
My hand scooted up his chest to lightly grasp his wrist where it crossed above his face. I didn't try to move his arm. Just left my hand there, silently telling him it was okay to reveal more when he was ready. After a few more moments of silence, he lowered his arm, carrying my hand with his to rest on his chest, where he gripped it tightly. Finally, he met my eyes.
"I thought perhaps that was what had happened to us, but I was unsure," he said, cautiously. "If it were true, I reasoned, you would have told me. I also very much wanted to believe you had imprinted on me, because if you had not, then it would mean you might do so with someone else."
Haunted and hungry, his teak eyes scanned my face. "I did not think I could be as strong in that situation as you were when Sam imprinted on Emily."
Guilt swamped me. Jake had been right those weeks ago when he'd chastised me in my father's woodshed. By withholding the truth from Nahuel, I'd made an already difficult situation even worse for him. It was a miracle he hadn't lost his mind. A miracle that he'd stayed at all.
"And then I thought, if you had imprinted on me, was that the only reason that you wanted me? I was afraid," he repeated, his soulful eyes begging me to understand. "My fear paralyzed me, and I could not go to you."
"What changed?"
"Seth let the truth slip …" He trailed off when he saw the ire on my face. "Do not be angry with him, Leah. He meant us no harm. When I realized that Jacob had also kept the truth from me, I became infuriated. He was angry with me, as well, for leaving you alone for so long. We fought."
"What?" I gasped, horrified at Jake poking his nose in, let alone raising a hand to my imprint. I could just imagine the confrontation between a pissed-off Nahuel and an angry, in control, Jacob.
Nahuel smiled wryly at my expression. "Oh, it was not much of a fight, and it was over very quickly. Jacob bested me easily. He forced me to calm myself and begin behaving reasonably. He has become a very good friend."
He rolled to his side and slid his warm arms around me, pulling me closer to the length of his body. He laid his head against my chest, and I thought he might be listening to my heartbeat.
"In the end, I decided nothing else mattered—not my anger at you and Jacob, not my fear that you wanted me only because of the imprinting." The self-doubt of moments before was gone from his voice. His words were low and peaceful. "I only care that I love you."
He lifted his head then. His teak eyes, calm and suffused with a quiet love, captured me like a fly in amber. Patience and acceptance bathed the atmosphere in our private little bubble of bliss. He waited.
If I'd still been the Leah I was this morning, the words he so obviously desired from me now would have remained trapped behind a wall of old hurts. But that Leah had died this morning in the flames of our passion, and now the words came to me easily. I would never be the gal who made pretty speeches, but I could tell him what was in my heart, simply and sincerely.
"I love you too, you know," I whispered softly, stroking my fingers through his hair. I loved the silky feeling of those strands slipping between my fingers. I loved how my simple caress and heart-felt admission made the embers in his eyes glow with joy.
"My heart," he breathed, pressing a tender kiss to the corner of my mouth. I turned my head just enough to capture his lips fully and deepen the kiss. He opened for me readily, his delectable tongue darting out eagerly to meet mine. I shivered in anticipation as his clever hands found my breasts again. His fingers gently stroked and massaged, his thumbs circling trails of heat around my nipples.
I made a small sound of protest when he pulled away. With a quick twist of his wrist, he flicked the sheet entirely away from my naked body. He pried my knees apart and climbed between them. "You are beautiful, Leah. I cannot get enough of you."
Hooking his hands behind my knees, he gently towed me back down into a prone position on the bed. Poised above me on his hands and knees, he began pressing soft, wet kisses over my chest and breasts. Every stroke of his tongue, each brush of his heated skin on mine fueled my desire for him. His lips worked their way lower on my abdomen.
There was no mistaking where he was headed, and I was definitely in favor of the idea. But in all fairness, I had to let him know that my body needed a break from some of our more strenuous activities.
"Nahuel, I'm kind of sore," I said bluntly as he nuzzled between my thighs.
He raised his golden eyes but didn't surrender his position. "That is alright, ñi piuque," he said, a hint of a smirk playing around his perfect lips. "I do not need to be inside you to love you." He lowered his lips to my already tingling flesh.
I didn't know whether to groan that I wasn't getting to sleep any time soon, gasp at the sensations he was creating with his diabolical mouth, or laugh at his audacity. Maybe I should do all three at once. I might be a new Leah, but my inner bitch was still with me, and my indecision prodded her to pipe up again.
Or maybe you should just shut the fuck up and enjoy yourself.
Finally, you say something that makes sense!
SSW/SSW/SSW
Reality doesn't always intrude. Sometimes it just hangs back, waiting for you to remember it. When you finally go looking for it, blinking like a businessman who's just run into his boss coming out of the local girlie bar, reality will not easily forgive you for standing it up. It's going to turn into a hormonal, outraged teenage girl. It is going to make you pay.
After spending an entire day and night wallowing in the hedonistic heaven of Nahuel's arms, my comeuppance kicked me in the teeth when I walked into the kitchen the next morning. Reality was caked on the kitchen floor in the form of petrified bacon, moldy scrambled eggs and congealed coffee, all with nice, sharp shards of crockery mixed in for good measure. I sighed and set to work.
Nahuel was still sleeping, and I briefly toyed with the idea of rousting him out of bed to help me. I quickly set the thought aside. He definitely knew how to use a scrub brush and sponge, thanks to Mom's lessons in the fine art of dishwashing, but this probably wasn't a good time to get him to practice his domestic skills. I was pretty sure crawling around on the floor with my imprint would lead to rolling around on the floor with him. We needed to get back to reality.
I'd finished cleaning up the broken glass, eggs and bacon, and was scrubbing at the dried-on coffee when I heard the rumble of my mother's car in the driveway. I sat back on my haunches and waited for her, knowing she'd come in the kitchen door.
She'd been staying with Charlie a lot lately. I knew she was trying to help him deal with his radically altered reality. But I was also pretty sure she was avoiding Nahuel—and by default, me.
My heart lodged in my throat at the sound of her key in the door. What would I say to her now that everything had changed between my imprint and me?
The door swung open. Mom stood in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob, the other balancing an overstuffed grocery bag on her hip. Her eyes widened at the sight of me on the floor, scrub brush in hand, with the still-overturned table behind me.
"What happened here?" Compared to the last time she'd walked into a scene in this room, this must have looked pretty tame, so her voice was only mildly concerned. She crossed the kitchen and deposited her bag on the counter by the sink.
I cleared my throat. "Nahuel and I, um, argued." It felt odd to be speaking to anyone other than him. I'd cut myself off from everyone else for … how long was it now? Four days. It had been four days since I'd spoken with Jake, Seth or Mom. I was so far under the spell of the imprinting that I hadn't even thought to check my cell phone, I realized guiltily. Crap!
As if she could read my thoughts, my mother's eyes sparked with annoyance. "No one has heard from you in four days, Leah," she chastised. "Haven't you checked your phone? Jake, Seth and I have been leaving you messages for days. Jake said to just give you some time, but this morning I decided enough was enough."
She began unloading her grocery bag onto the counter. "Since you weren't answering your phone, I decided to just come home. I want to have a family meeting."
I went back to my slow scrubbing. If she wanted to act like she walked into a trashed kitchen every day, well, I could play that game. "What about?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even—and quiet. I wasn't ready for her to know Nahuel was sleeping in my bed, and I didn't want to wake him.
She shot me a disbelieving look. "I think we have a lot to talk about, don't you?"
I shrugged one shoulder, a gesture I hadn't used on her since high school. "I guess." She studied me silently for another moment.
"I met Anjali," she finally said.
I tensed. Of course, Seth had told Mom immediately about his imprint. He was probably on cloud nine and couldn't imagine why she wouldn't be just as happy for him. His easy acceptance of his imprinting made it look even worse that I had hidden mine.
When she didn't say anything else, I finally looked up from my work. "Yeah? How did that go?"
Her smile was strained. "Well, I can see she adores Seth, so I'm grateful for that. But she's very … vampire-like."
Maybe it was just because she and her cohorts had tried to kill me, but I personally found Seth's imprint creepy as hell. So I could easily picture the awkwardness of a meeting between her and my mother.
Mom was used to the Cullens and Nahuel, all of whom made great efforts to act as human as possible. They were trying to fit in. But Anjali had been raised by a traditional, human-murdering vampire. She wouldn't have any of the mannerisms that the Cullens cultivated to appear more human. And Nahuel had given up preying on humans six years before I imprinted on him. I was willing to bet Anjali's conversion to vegetarianism did not pre-date Seth imprinting on her.
"Let's just say meeting her has made me realize I should appreciate Nahuel more," my mother said.
I hadn't risen from my spot on the floor, and now I was glad. If I'd been standing when she said that, I would have fallen over in shock. As it was, my internal struggle over just what to say to her had my knees glued to the linoleum. She didn't seem to register my paralysis. Her eyes came to rest on the toppled table, as if she'd just noticed it.
"So you argued? With Nahuel?"
I nodded.
Her breath huffed out in an exasperated sigh. "What is it with you two and this table?" She grasped an end of it and skewered me with an impatient glare. "Well, help me set it back up."
I climbed to my feet and helped her right the table, sliding it back into place beneath the ugly globe light fixture that I'd always loathed for its disturbing resemblance to a disco ball. When we were done, she turned back to her groceries.
"So Nahuel is here?" She was trying to be casual and failing miserably. "Do you want to tell me what you two argued about?"
She opened the refrigerator and crammed something into it without even looking at me. Something else fell out on the floor. She snatched it up and leaned waist-deep into the fridge, trying to jam the escapee back into place. Neither one of us was really paying attention to what she was doing.
"He knows."
She froze, then slowly straightened, peeping at me from around the refrigerator door. I'd just assumed Seth would have told her the truth was out. Apparently, the pesky meddler had kept his mouth shut this time. Her eyebrows rose in direct correlation to the pitch of her voice. "And?"
It was stupid and girly, but emotion clogged my throat. Tears I absolutely refused to shed made my mother's shocked face shimmer before me. I brought my clasped hands to my lips, as if that would help me control the tremble in my voice.
"He loves me," I choked out.
The tension and self-doubt of the past month had begun leaking away the moment Nahuel had declared his love yesterday. My words flushed the last of those crippling feelings out in a single raging torrent. And when sheer joy soared across my mother's beautiful features, I totally lost it.
Suddenly I was in her arms, sobbing irrationally. She rocked me like a small child, reaching up to stroke my hair, laughing happily.
"Of course he does, sweetheart. How could he not?"
"My sentiments exactly." As soft as a caress, Nahuel's deep voice drifted gently over my shoulder.
Embarrassed that he'd caught me crying like a baby in my mother's arms, I tried to pull away from her, hastily scrubbing at my tear-streaked face. She allowed me to shift enough to look at my imprint, but didn't release me.
Nahuel stood just inside the kitchen, shirtless and barefoot. His short hair was wildly tousled, and every line of his long, lean form was loose and relaxed. He looked exactly like what he was: a man who'd spent the past day and a half in bed satisfying his woman thoroughly and repeatedly.
My heart began to hammer ridiculously at the sight of him, and heat climbed my cheeks. My mother was a sharp woman. She knew exactly what our argument had led to.
"Hello, Sue," he greeted her, his voice cautious and respectful. He hadn't seen her since the day of Charlie's attack, when she'd brushed off his apology in our driveway.
"Hello, Nahuel," she replied. My heart leapt, because the old warmth and the undertones of their early friendship were back in her voice. She gave my arms a gentle squeeze and let me go.
She took a tentative step toward Nahuel and hesitated for just a moment. Then she opened her arms to him. He didn't rush into them, instead stepping forward slowly to carefully wrap her in his embrace. He hugged her gingerly, as if he feared he might break her. Or that she would reject him again.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to her, meeting my eyes over her head. His gaze was unsure, but hopeful.
She pulled back to look at him and laid her right palm gently on his cheek.
"No, I'm the one who needs to apologize," she said firmly, holding his wary gaze. "I judged you unfairly for something you couldn't help, something that was not your fault. I was wrong. I hope you'll accept my apology and give me the chance to earn back your friendship."
His golden eyes widened in surprise, and his glorious smile chased the caution from his face.
"Your apology is unnecessary, but gladly accepted." He pulled her back into a firm hug, and this time there was no awkwardness in it. She wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back affectionately. She'd always wanted to love him, I realized. Not only for my sake, but for his own, as well.
When Mom finally released him, Nahuel stepped to my side and loosely looped his arm around my waist. That familiar electric charge radiated through my body from our point of contact. Really, this was getting ridiculous.
"Mom's met Anjali," I told him, trying to distract myself from the temptation of dragging him back down the hallway to my bedroom.
Mom's smile was tight. "Yes, I have," she said. "And I'm calling a Clearwater family meeting here. Since Anjali is Seth's imprint, the elders have cleared her to come on the rez."
She held Nahuel's gaze. "I expect you to attend," she said sternly. Before he could respond, she continued. "Charlie will be here, too."
Nahuel's arm tightened around me. I knew exactly how he felt. "Mom, is that a good idea?" I asked. Neither Nahuel nor I had seen Charlie since the day of the attack.
"It's necessary," she replied, her tone clearly stating she wouldn't listen to any debate on the matter. "This family has gone through a lot of changes lately. We need to regroup." She hesitated for a moment before continuing.
"Plus, we have something important to tell you and Seth. Everyone will be here around dinner time."
Great. When reality decided to pile-drive me, I could always count on my mother to be right there in the ring with it, just waiting for the tag to take over my ass-booting. I was pretty sure having two half-vampires, my love-sop brother and the trigger-happy human police chief of Forks all in the same room was courting disaster.
But what really had my stomach in knots was Mom's announcement that she and Charlie had something to tell us. I had a pretty good idea of what that something was, and I didn't like the idea one bit.
I was so not ready to have Charlie Swan as a stepdad.
End note: BellaEdwardlover1991 was my 200th reviewer and to thank her I offered to write an extra based on her suggestion. She had some awesome ideas and "Fragments: A Season of the She Wolf Extra" is currently in the works. If you haven't already put me on author alert, you might want to do that so you don't miss it when it posts.