A/N: Well, here we are again. I'm not going to say a whole lot other than I'm really happy with this chapter and I hope you will be too.
Thanks as usual to MunkeeRajah and Evelyn-Shaye for always finding the time to make my chapters sing. I love them so much that if the world ended in a zombie apocalypse, I'd definitely welcome them both into my motor home!
Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, and I'm just sneaking candy from her Halloween bucket.
Chapter 20 – As the World Falls Down
Leah POV
Another fucking dress.
Standing on a little platform in front of the dress shop's floor-to-ceiling, three-sided mirror, I turned in a slow pirouette. I was absorbing from every angle the overtly oozing sensuality of the dress Alice had picked out for me to wear to Jake and Renesmee's wedding.
Why was I letting that pixie vampire outfit me? Because I'd stupidly thought it would be easier than having to pick something out myself. Here was the price I paid for convenience: the dress Alice chose was a form-fitting number in some sleek, shiny material that showed off a dazzling amount of cleavage.
"Oh, sweetheart, you look beautiful," Mom said, a sappy grin plastered on her face.
Although I was surprised that my mother didn't think the amount of boob exposure was trashy, I had to admit the dress looked good on me. That was the problem.
It looked so good that I was pretty sure I'd spend the day of the wedding trying to convince Nahuel it would be inappropriate for him to carry me off somewhere to get me out of the dress. That scenario would leave both of us frustrated for the whole day. And if the question of Nahuel's proposal was still hanging over my head at the same time, well, the day would suck rocks for both of us.
Since the dress was a done deal—there was no betting against, or arguing with, Alice—my only hope for getting through Jake's wedding with my sanity intact was to settle the proposal question beforehand. I'd started today half convinced that this was the day when we would finally talk about it. Seeing myself in the dress helped me decide. After my discussion with Bella a few days ago, I felt like I was probably as ready as I'd ever be.
The bell on the shop door tinkled merrily above Charlie's head as he stepped through it. I wanted to rip the damned thing off and stomp on it.
When Mom had suggested that we combine our dress-retrieval trip with Charlie's meeting with Port Angeles' finest to discuss the two unsolved murders, I'd thought it was the best I could do given the circumstances. I'd have much rather met with the cops myself, but there was no way Charlie could justify having me in a conference about police business. Since I wasn't getting out of the fitting, I figured riding home with him in his cruiser would be the fastest way to find out any new information he'd learned.
After two hours of fitting, adjusting and accessorizing, however, I was insanely jealous of Charlie. He'd gotten to spend his time in the city doing something constructive, while I— well, I spent the time in a fucking dress.
Charlie greeted my mother with a peck on the cheek, and saluted me with an appreciative whistle. "Looking good, Leah."
"Thanks," I grumbled. I turned to the sales woman who'd been hovering like a vulture that had found some particularly tasty road kill. "Are we done?"
"Oh, I don't think we could do a single thing to make this dress more beautiful," buzzard-babe gushed. "It's simply stunning on you. We'll get it wrapped up and ready to go. Will we be taking the matching shoes and handbag as well?"
"No, we will not," I sniped. What the hell was with the royal "we"?
Mom glared at me. "Yes, we will," she corrected. She gave the sales woman a dazzling smile. "Thank you so much for your help and patience." I rolled my eyes at her. It's not like I tipped over a display rack or anything. I wasn't that bad a customer. Was I?
I stepped back into the dressing room, quickly slipped out of the dress and shoved it through the opening at the bottom of the door. "Here, Mom. Grab this so she can bag it while I'm dressing and we can get the hell out of here."
By the time I'd finished putting on my jeans and sweater, the sales woman had the dress neatly stored in a garment bag. I'd never been so relieved to slide into the backseat of Charlie's cruiser. Mom rode shotgun next to Charlie.
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and cursed silently when I realized the battery had died. "Mom, can I borrow your cell? I want to call Paul and let him know we're on the way home."
After the latest murder, we were keeping a closer watch than ever on Nahuel, Renesmee and Anjali. The killings had all the hallmarks of a vampire attack, and while it was technically in the jurisdiction of the Port Angeles authorities, it had happened much closer to Forks than the last murder. We were pretty sure this meant Joham's underlings were closing in, looking for just the right opening and opportunity. Jake was determined they wouldn't find either, and had ordered that each hybrid be under the protection of at least one pack member at all times.
Today, Paul had pulled the Nahuel-sitting duties while I was out of the house. Since he and Rachel were trying for yet another baby, I knew he would appreciate knowing he could soon go home to her.
"I already called Paul while you were changing," my mother chirped, her overt cheerfulness instantly buzzing my crap detector.
"Okay, so just let me call him again to give him our E.T.A." I reached through the opening in the security cage that separated the cruiser's front and rear compartments. After a moment's hesitation, she slipped her cell into my hand. I tabbed through her contacts list and quickly found Paul's number.
When he still hadn't answered on the sixth ring, I disconnected the call, waited five seconds and hit redial. This time he answered on the third ring, sounding breathless and annoyed.
"Yeah, Sue. What's up?"
"Paul, it's Leah. I just wanted to let you know we're on the way home. We'll be there in about thirty minutes."
"Uh … oh. Okay. Well, see you soon."
His hesitation was so minute, so subtle that I might have convinced myself to overlook it. But in the back of my head, that usually useless inner bitch voice was whispering to be heard, warning me that something was up. "Paul, let me talk to Nahuel."
"Uhm, he's not here right now."
"What do you mean he's not there? Where the hell is he? He's not supposed to leave the house alone," I snapped.
An icy finger of dread scratched at the base of my brain.
Paul sighed, irritation creeping into his voice. "Chill out, Leah. Nahuel's at home. I left your house about twenty minutes ago, right after Sue called. I needed to get home myself, and Nahuel said he'd be okay alone until you got there."
Like the opening of an airlock in a sci-fi horror flick, Paul's words sucked all the air out of my lungs in a loud and painful hiss. I didn't even try to respond to him. I just ended the call, threw the phone back through the divider and started shrieking at Charlie to go faster, to get me the hell home.
That inner voice was done whispering and was screaming at me now, a hysterical, insane sound that I was terrified would come through my mouth at any moment. My chest hurt. I could barely draw breath around the tightly wound ball of pain that was bouncing beneath my solar plexus. Was I having a heart attack?
Charlie's brown eyes, wide with surprise, studied me in the rearview mirror. "What's going on? What did Paul say?"
"Nahuel's alone," I shouted. "He's unprotected. Goddammit, Charlie, put on the fucking lights and siren and go!"
"Calm down," Charlie said, his voice level and controlled. "I'm sure everything's fine. Sue, why don't you try calling your house? I'm sure Nahuel will answer."
Mom quickly punched in the number and I could hear the phone ringing. After six rings, our machine picked up. She disconnected the call and tried again. This time, it went to voicemail after just four rings. She closed her phone without a word.
"Charlie, I think you should turn on the lights and siren," she said quietly.
Whether he was just humoring her, trying to keep me from clawing my way through the divider, or truly felt worried, Charlie did as she asked. We raced down the highway toward the rez. Even with the cruiser's lights and sirens clearing the road of other vehicles, we were a good twenty minutes from home.
I spent every one of them in utter agony.
When we turned off the highway onto the road leading to the house, Charlie had to slow down. I began tugging on the door handle, prepared to jump out, phase and run; it would have been faster. Of course, I was in a police car and there was no way to open it from the inside.
By the time the cruiser lurched to a halt in our gravel driveway, I was shaking so badly my hand kept slipping off the door handle.
"Let me out! Open the car door!"
Some silent communication passed between Mom and Charlie, and I leaned forward, my face pressed to the divider's opening to see what was going on. It took just two seconds to spot what they were hoping I wouldn't see.
The front door of our house was wide open.
Charlie turned to look at me. "I think you should both stay here while I check this out."
I didn't even bother to argue. I swiveled on the back seat, lifted my legs and began hammering both feet against the side window. The car door vibrated with the repeated impacts and the window groaned.
"Shit, Leah! What are you doing?" Charlie shouted, springing from the front seat. He opened the back door and I was out and running for the house before he'd gotten it halfway open.
I didn't scream Nahuel's name as I sprinted toward the front door. Somehow, I already knew he wouldn't be there.
I charged through the open door with Charlie five steps behind me and Mom a few more behind him. I stopped so abruptly that he actually ran into me from behind, bumping me forward a few feet into the room.
The reek of vampire was overpowering. I could identify at least two unfamiliar scents, and it was possible there could have been more. My brain was too busy frantically sifting through odors for any hint of cinnamon and spice to accurately analyze all the other scents I was picking up.
Behind me, Charlie cursed and my mother gasped as they took in the state of our home. It was hard to believe this level of devastation had been accomplished in just forty minutes.
The living room was trashed. The sofa and my father's armchair were ripped to shreds, their stuffing strewn about the room. The coffee table lay on its side, its glass top shattered. The walls looked like they'd been swept clean by a madman, and frames and artwork were scattered and broken throughout the room. Through the door leading into the kitchen, I could see a similar mess.
I was gasping, struggling to breathe around the pain in my chest. Yet every molecule of air I managed to suck into my laboring lungs brought no relief, only the sickening stench of strange vampire and the excruciating absence of Nahuel.
The roaring in my ears was growing louder. Part of my brain continued to catalog what was happening around me:
Charlie, gun drawn, moving quickly through the house, searching. Finding no one.
Charlie's voice telling my mother to call Jacob.
The tinny, distant sound of Jake's voice on the phone.
The haphazard destruction of our home.
The inexplicable presence of shredded flower petals and stems over every visible surface.
Worst and most confusing was the bone-crushing cold. I was freezing, my body shivering and my teeth chattering. It was so cold that I wondered why I couldn't see my breath pluming in front of me. Charlie was standing beside me, saying something, and I noticed the sheen of sweat on his forehead. Abruptly I realized it wasn't the room that was arctic; it was me.
Nothing ever felt warm to me except Nahuel. His absence created a void as cold, dark and lonely as the empty, sterile eternity between the stars.
I knew that I was falling apart, but I was still surprised when my legs buckled beneath me. I hit the floor hard, my right knee landing painfully on something small and sharp. Dazed, I barely heard my mother calling my name over the roaring in my ears. My hands fumbled on the floor, seeking whatever it was I'd fallen on.
When I found it, I brought the offending item up to my face. It took my brain a full ten seconds to recognize what I held, and another five to connect the significance of that item and the crushed, torn flowers that littered the room. The thunderclap of understanding overpowered the roaring in my head.
My mother was kneeling in front of me, tears streaking down her lovely face. My icy fingers shook as I held up her diamond solitaire.
Dad had loved to tell Seth and me how he'd worked three jobs and saved for nearly a year to buy her that modest, half-karat ring. When I was a kid, I never saw her without it. Even after he died, she'd continued to wear it. When her relationship with Charlie had turned serious, she'd finally taken it off and put it away in a jewelry box in her room. I hadn't seen it in two years.
She read the question in my eyes.
"He asked me for help," she whispered. Her eyes moved from the ring I still held to sweep around the room, lingering over the shattered vases and desecrated flowers. "He said he got it all wrong the first time he asked, and he wanted to do it right this time. He wanted to ask again, with a ring and flowers, in front of Charlie and me so we could give our blessing."
She clasped my trembling hand in both of hers. "I offered him my ring," she sobbed. "He was so happy. So grateful …." She disintegrated into heartbroken, uncontrollable weeping.
Charlie's voice was strained, but steady. "Leah, Jake's on his way with Renesmee. We'll organize a search. We'll find him."
The ring slipped from my numb fingers, hitting the floor with a quiet ping. I was on my feet, moving toward the door.
I was halfway there when my mother's small but strong arms wrapped around my knees, tripping me. I hit the floor face-first, banging my chin painfully on the cold, battered hardwood. The metallic tang of blood flooded my mouth; I'd bitten my tongue.
I couldn't find breath to shout at her, and there was no way I was going to risk hurting her by trying to make her let go. Using only my arms, I began dragging both of us toward the door.
"Charlie!" my mother screamed. "Help me! She can't go after him alone. Help me!"
I was a lot stronger than my mother. I could have gotten away from her, even while doing my best not to hurt her. I was stronger than Charlie, too, but Chief Charles Swan had twenty years of experience holding on to people who wanted to get away from him. He hit me like a linebacker, throwing himself on top of me and putting me in a strangle hold before I'd crawled another foot.
"Goddammit, let me go!" If I'd been able to get enough air into my lungs, I would have been screaming for all I was worth. As it was, between the pain in my chest and Charlie's arm around my throat, I was barely able to wheeze.
"You need to stay put until Jake gets here." He sounded short of breath, but somehow still calm and confident. "You going off half-cocked won't do Nahuel or yourself any good."
My brain absorbed what he said, but my body was acting independently. I could no more stop struggling against Charlie's hold than I could give up on drawing breath.
"You don't understand." I was weeping hysterically now, wasting precious air on labored, heaving sobs. "I have to tell him I'm sorry."
I have to tell him that my answer is yes. It's always been yes.
I began thrashing harder, pushing back against Charlie's hold. A loud crack announced the impact of my head on his nose. Charlie cursed a blue streak, but his hold never faltered. And now my mother was lying across my legs, using all her weight to keep me from kicking or finding a toehold.
I couldn't see anything but the floor in front of me and the few feet of it that separated me from the door. That patch of floor slowly began spinning in front of my eyes, and the rotation seemed to be wringing the strength from my limbs. As my struggles grew weaker, I began to feel the full weight of Charlie's body pressing down on me from behind. My chest was compressed against the floor and each painful breath I drew seemed more shallow and useless than the last.
"Hold her tighter, Charlie," my mother commanded, her voice tear-filled but implacable. "Jake will be here any minute."
The arm around my neck tightened, cutting off what little air I'd been getting. Charlie was a lot stronger than I'd thought.
The cold that had begun creeping through my limbs the moment I realized my imprint was missing—Taken!—finally reached my brain. Someone was calling my name, but I didn't know who.
I only knew it wasn't Nahuel.
That thought cut my last tether to consciousness, and I sank into the black, silent void behind my eyes.
SSW/SSW/SSW
Heat and pressure ruthlessly forced me into awareness. The agony in my chest had eased enough to allow me to breathe, but now I was burning up. My body, from shoulders to knees, was being steam-pressed flat like a pair of pants at the dry cleaners. I wasn't freezing anymore, but thawing out was fucking uncomfortable. In fact, my head, which seemed to be pillowed on something warm and soft, was the only part of me that felt okay.
I pried my eyes open and squeaked with surprise. I was on my back on the floor and Jacob's face was hovering inches above mine. He was lying on top of me. His forearms were crossed just below my chin, restraining my arms at my sides. His legs, bent slightly at the knee, were pinning mine to the floor with his ankles hooked over my shins. His massive body was a cage of hard muscle and heavy bone that held me immobile on the floor.
Why the fuck is he on top of me?
"You're conscious," he said, calmly and obviously. "Sorry to be in your face, but you were thrashing around so much we thought you might hurt yourself."
We?
I glanced over his shoulder to see the worried faces of Charlie and Renesmee standing behind him. I realized my head was in my mother's lap at the same moment I felt her cool fingers stroking the hair off my forehead.
The memory of my mother tackling me crashed over me. I craned my neck to glare at her resentfully. She was the reason I was on the floor in the first place, and now my moose of an Alpha was holding me down.
"Get off me," I growled.
Jake studied my face for a moment, then shook his head. "I don't think so. Not until we've come to an understanding."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I hissed in his face. I gave my muscles an experimental flex but there was no budging. I could have dislodged my mother. I could have bucked off Charlie. I could probably have gotten away from both of them together, given a few more minutes. But there was no way I was escaping Jake's hold, because he was stronger than me. A lot stronger, damn him.
Panic was starting to set in, along with an unfamiliar feeling of claustrophobia. I wasn't used to being restrained. And I needed to get up. I needed to go after Nahuel before the trail was cold. Before he did something stupid like try to escape, something that would make his captors decide he was more trouble than he was worth. Or before whoever had taken him turned him over to his demented father.
For all I know, he's already dead.
I tried to divert my mind from the direction it was heading, but terror was stoking the boiler of my runaway thoughts. I panted shallowly and strained again against Jacob's hold.
"Stop it!" he barked, the command in his tone drawing my mind back from the edge of hysteria. It wasn't quite the Alpha voice, but it was as close as he'd ever come to using it on me. When he saw my eyes refocus and was confident he had my attention, he continued.
"We will find Nahuel. We will do it together, as a pack. We will get him back, and he will be fine."
Despair shredded my voice. "You can't know that," I whispered hoarsely. I thrashed my head on my mother's lap. "I can't smell him, can't feel him. It may already be too late."
Jake's big hand curved around my jaw, forcing me to meet his eyes. "No. It's not. If you'll just relax and listen to me, you'll realize I'm right."
The composed calm of his voice was seeping into my brain. I stopped tensing against him and focused on drawing even, deep breaths. I desperately wanted to believe him. My sanity depended on him being right.
"You know he's still alive," Jake continued. "You would feel it if he wasn't. Just calm down, keep breathing like you're doing, and concentrate. You know you can feel the imprinting bond."
He jabbed my chest with a meaty finger. "You feel it here. It's like there's a sinker inside your heart and it's attached to the strongest line ever, and Nahuel's on the other end of it, pulling like the world's greatest fisherman. And every time he pulls, you can feel it, right?"
His hand fisted my shirt, twisting to mimic what he was describing. "You've been afraid that if you give in to that pull, he'll reel you in and you'll never get away. Right?"
I squeezed my eyes shut, nodding. Tears leaked out, painting cold trails down my cheeks. I felt my mother's lips brush my forehead.
Kindness and understanding resonated in Jake's deep voice. "I know, Leah. But now I need you to let him draw you in. Concentrate," he urged. "Can you feel that pull right now?"
When I'd first imprinted, I'd resented that connection, even hated it. Even after I admitted my feelings for Nahuel, a part of me had feared the ultimate loss of control that bond represented. My fear of totally losing myself to this irresistible imperative had fed my insecurities, and held me back from accepting forever with him. How many times had I cursed that damned invisible cable? It would serve me right if I reached for it now and found nothing. I fought back a fearful sob and focused my awareness on the latch point of that connection.
The second I reached for it, the heat and longing blazed to life. Behind my tightly closed eyes I could see that bright, burning ribbon of energy stretching out from my center. Relief washed through me at the realization that the connection was still there, still strong, still pulling me toward my center of gravity: Nahuel.
"Yes," I gasped, my eyes flying open. "Jake, I can find him! Let me up. I can use the bond to find him."
A happy grin swooped across Jake's face, and he gave my shoulder an affectionate shake. "There you go. I know you can, and we're going to be depending on you to lead the search," he said.
"But you can't go off by yourself. You need to wait." He held a placating hand up when I opened my mouth to protest. "Just for a little while, an hour or so, until we can get organized."
I shook my head frantically and started struggling against him again. "No, no, no! There's no time to waste! Let me go now and you can follow me when you're ready."
"Leah!" His voice crackled with command. "I am not going to risk your life by letting you go off alone. You are going to wait for all of us."
Jake knew me better than almost anyone, so he had no problem interpreting the stubbornness in my eyes.
"I will make it an order if I have to," he threatened.
The last thing I wanted was for Jake to slap me with an Alpha command that I wouldn't be able to resist. But I also had no intention of sitting on my hands while he organized the pack, the Cullens and whoever else he wanted to bring in on the search party.
There really was no need for me to wait, either, I reasoned. Just as I could use the imprinting bond to track Nahuel, Jake and the others could use our pack mind to find me, no matter how far I traveled looking for my imprint. If I started right away, on my own, I might even find Nahuel by the time Jake's team was organized.
I stopped struggling and gave him what I hoped was a penitent look. "Do I have your cooperation?" he asked.
I nodded, feeling just a little guilty. I squelched that feeling immediately.
"Alright, I'm going to let you up now," he said. Jake rocked back on his heels, preparing to lift himself off my legs. At the same time, I started to sit up, raising my head off my mother's lap. As I moved, I rolled my right hand into a tight fist and cocked my elbow as if I intended to push myself up.
It was a really vicious, shitty trick and I'd probably need to spend the next ten years apologizing for it, but instead of pushing up on my elbow, I slammed my fist as hard as I could right into Jake's exposed crotch.
His eyes bulged like they were about to pop out of his skull and shoot across the room. He went down like a massive bag of bones, crashing to his side on the floor. Groaning breathily, he clutched the family jewels and curled into a tight ball. Renesmee flashed to his side so quickly she blurred.
"Oh my god, Leah!" my mother cried from behind me.
I didn't spare her a glance. I kicked myself away from where Jake lay moaning and I leaped toward the door. I ducked under Charlie's arm as he grabbed for me and exploded out the door. Behind me, I heard the pathetic sound of my best friend wretchedly puking his guts out.
I crossed the porch in two strides and leaped, phasing in mid-air. I hit the ground running and dashed for the trees. As I ran, I forced from my mind the images of my mother's shocked, horrified face and Jacob's powerful body writhing in agony on the floor.
I focused every scrap of awareness on that band of energy and longing that tethered me to Nahuel. I now knew that cable could be stretched and warped, twisted and frayed, but it could never be broken, not even by me.
For the first time, I gave myself over entirely to the power of the imprinting bond and let it drag me at light speed toward the source of my soul.
End note: So how much do you all hate me right now? Maybe I should have put a tissue alert at the beginning of the chapter? Please leave me some love. Remember, when we get to 350 reviews, I'll have another Nahuel POV outtake!