Chapter 18

Guinevere stood in the dungeon with her head buried in Arthur's chest, sobbing and holding him tightly. Arthur, despite the chains still attached to his wrists, had one arm around her and with his free hand was stroking her head and kissing it, trying to sooth her as she sobbed. He spoke gently and quietly, "Sssshh, ssshhh, it's alright. It's alright," repeating the words more than once to her.

She finally spoke with difficulty through her sobs, "This is all my fault…. If I hadn't been here, none of this would have happened."

Arthur put a finger under her chin and raised her head so that he could look into her eyes. "Don't say such a thing. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I brought you here, and I thought that keeping our feelings for each other secret was the right thing to do, but I was wrong, and it put you in danger instead. I'm so sorry, Guinevere, that you had to go through what you did."

They were silent for a moment and it was as if Arthur's peace was gradually quietening her distress. Arthur lowered his head and kissed Guinevere tenderly on the lips, and that seemed to calm her even more. He continued to look down into her face and hold her gaze as he spoke.

"You've made me so happy, Gwen. I would have been so proud to have you at my side as my queen. I've grieved that you'll never be my wife, grieved for the wedding night that we'll never share, and grieved for the family that we would have, God willing, created together but that now will never be. But I can't change my fate, and I must face it as best I can. Tomorrow, I want to go out there with courage and unashamed, with my head held high, and I want you to be strong, if you can, and do the same."

Arthur paused before continuing, running the back of his hand affectionately down her cheek as he did. "I will never be your husband, Guinevere, but that doesn't mean I can't provide for you, and I want to make sure that you won't be in any want – and I want you to be happy."

Arthur paused again and steadied himself before speaking the words that were the most painful for him. "I've spoken to Lancelot."

Gwen had been looking down again, but suddenly looked up, surprised, at the mention of his name.

For Arthur had never entirely forgotten how she and Lancelot had clasped hands after she had been rescued from the clutches of Hengist or forgotten the look that had passed between them that had broken his heart. "He's given me his solemn word that if you once again find love in your heart for him or if you are simply willing, he will take you as his wife. I know that I haven't asked Lancelot to swear something that will be a duty or an obligation to him, and I can think of no one better for you."

And as Arthur said the next words, his voice finally wavered. "I know that he will love you from his heart. He will be a good husband to you and make you happy." And he could say no more - all he could do was put a hand out to stroke her hair once again, and steady himself by taking a deep breath. And a fresh tear escaped from Gwen's eye and ran down her check, as she said with a whisper. "But I only want you, Arthur."

And it was true that her heart lay with one man and one man alone now, and that was the condemned man who was standing before her. Arthur gently wiped the tear from her cheek, and composed himself once more, before finally saying, "Time will change many things after I am gone." And then he was at peace again, and smiled at her and kissed her once more. She returned the gentle smile, and became calm again too.

Arthur then took a ring from his finger. It was of the style that was open at the back, rather than being a complete circle of gold. He carefully squeezed the metal to make the ring smaller, so that it would fit on Gwen's finger. He took her hand, and slipped the ring on her: "Remember me fondly, Guinevere."

"Always."

And she suddenly reached up to her head, untied the ribbon that was in her hair, and gave it to Arthur: "Wear it for me tomorrow…."

As he took it, he replied playfully, "What, in my hair?"

And they laughed happily together, as if for that moment they had no cares in the world. But then Gwen spoke again gently. "The first time I gave you a favour to wear, I asked you to wear it for luck. Arthur, wear this one for love."

He smiled at her, looked down at the favour, and then bent over to kiss her tenderly and lingeringly, in much the same way he did the first time they kissed. And then they just stood together, holding one other in silence, and resting in each other's arms, and there was a peacefulness about them both.

And just as the knock on the dungeon door came that would tear Gwen away from Arthur's arms, two others were being finally re-united.