He can't believe he's already been back in the city for three months. It's nearing 10 p.m. and Dan should be exhausted. Another week is over, and he's worked another fifteen hour day at The New Yorker. He is editor-in-chief, and while the last three months have been demanding, he hasn't felt this invigorated in years. He wasn't ready to go home, the kids were out, so he didn't stop at 62nd street when he saw his home; instead he continued up 5th avenue letting his thoughts wander.
There is one thing that Dan knows for certain being back in the city for nearly three months now, the Upper East Side doesn't change for anyone, and time was no exception. In the last twenty years, the rest of Manhattan and the outer boroughs were interested in accommodating the trendsetters, adapting with the culture. People were interested in finding the next SoHo, TriBeCa, or Park Slope's in places such as Bushwick, Prospect Heights, and Flushing. The five boroughs had reunited in trying to shape new communities, like finding neighborhood coziness in Flushing, and new foot traffic for fashion retailers in The Garment District. Far West Midtown and Morningside Height's relationship with the Upper West Side had continued to remain fluid and the rehabilitated waterfront had been a catalyst to both commercial and residential venues. The bohemian subculture had branched out from Williamsburg to Chelsea, keeping responsibility for New York's art industry and nightlife.
Many people would say the Upper East Side was outdated, stodgy, and no one fashionable could love it. These people didn't understand, the Upper East Side was not interested in being the next "juicy" neighborhood. The Upper East Side doesn't care about up and coming, it relies on tradition, and primarily proximity. The rest of New York City could lay claim to whatever and wherever they pleased, the Upper East Side had been refined long ago. You could argue it wasn't architecturally impressive, but it had a taste for finery like no one else, home to many cultural institutions, private schools, and Madison Avenue. The chic boutiques that lined Madison Avenue could give any neighboring district like SoHo or Flatiron a run for it's money. The Upper East Side had longevity, and Central Park.
Being here was like stepping back in time. Even though the boutiques changed names, old town houses were renovated, and new structures were built; the culture hadn't changed and the people were still snobbishly clueless. And yet, Dan felt like he was coming home. His sixteen year old self would die before ever admitting this, but there was something that had always drawn him here. Maybe in a world where people are ever-changing, where it's so easy to lose yourself, it's refreshing to see somewhere hold so strongly to it's roots, even if they were wealthy outdated ones.
He could still be a stubborn guy, and although living in the Upper East Side was no longer the end of his world, back in April when he started looking to buy he wouldn't allow his realtor to show him any places farther north than 66th street. In May, two weeks before they moved, he finally put an offer in on a split penthouse on 5th Avenue at East 62nd street. Dan Humphrey was an Upper East Sider, and his house was three streets over from almost being called Midtown. He could rationalize that. The location couldn't be more perfect. It was less than a two mile walk to The New Yorker offices and 20 blocks from Constance and St. Jude's, which was just over a mile away.
His building was fourteen floors, housing 40 separate units, the top two floors were dedicated to the two duplex style penthouses. Each one had it's own private elevator access, 4,000 sq. ft including the garden terrace just off the den on the second floor. The entire building's occupants had access to the roof, that overlooked the southernmost part of Central Park. It was four bedrooms, four baths, and just right for Dan and his three children, even if Teddy wouldn't technically live with him anymore in the fall. And it cost a pretty penny, coming in at 10 million dollars.
Dan stopped when he got to 81st street, and looked at St. Jude's and Constance Billard standing to his right, still unfaltering as ever. Back in June when he set up a few meet and greets with the Dean for Faye and Paul, he would have said the buildings seemed smaller, less daunting, than he remembered. But tonight he's not the experienced world traveler, the widely known and established author, or the former husband of celebrity director Cassandra Davenport. He is Dan Humphrey from Brooklyn. And in that way, it's the first time he's been back here. And tonight, New York City is as big as he remembers, intimidating, and full of mysteries.
He knows Faye and Paul won't have any trouble making friends or fitting in here. That's what they've done their whole lives, moving from place to place, country to country. They were nomadic and adaptable. And he think it's kind of ironic, that he lives on the Upper East Side, and all his kids ever seem to talk about is why they can't live somewhere hipper like Williamsburg or Chelsea.
Over the last three months, when he didn't have to work, he took them to all of his favorite spots like Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, a used bookshop that is a must for New York writers; Valselkas for pierogis, and Cafe Habana for sandwiches. Rufus came with them to The Front Room Gallery in Williamsburg, and Communitea; the cafe Vanessa first worked at near the loft. He took them to places he had grown to love like Geisha sushi, Sotheby's, and Henri Bendels. They spent entire days at the MoMA, and the Guggenheim. They had decided to dedicate the first Saturday of every month attending entertainment at the Lincoln Center for a performance whether it was opera, theatre, or the orchestra.
He crosses the street to sit at the MET steps. There were still quite a few people lingering at this time of night and he stays on the left side near the bottom. He was working when Teddy and the twins spent the day here last week, and he was strangely okay with it. This was the one place in all of New York City that could strip away the last 20 years from him, bring back his insecurities, and old memories.
It had been awhile since he allowed himself the time to take stock of his life. He believed with all his heart you had to stay in the present to be successful. So he had spent his life starting each day with intent and clarity. He had raised two intelligent kids, had a great career, and supportive friends. He had done everything right, and yet, he was alone. He knows he has changed in a lot of ways. He doesn't talk in run-on sentences when he's nervous nor does he jump to conclusions; he's more understanding and patient. He learned the hard way to stop blaming his problems on others, something he will probably always struggle with. He's a little more cultured and a little less charming.
One thing that hasn't changed, he is still a diehard romantic. He believes in grand gestures, and even more in the small ones, to relay his true feelings. He still watches old movies, loves conversation, and writes about the women in his life. But somewhere he lost that connection between his intellect and his heart. His sensitivity to the beautiful, spiritual, and sublime; that sensitivity that made him feel things deeply. He's not sure when or where he lost it either. Tonight is a special night, and he doesn't stop himself from looking back.
By the time Dan had left New York almost 20 years ago, he had gotten more comfortable with accepting other's good fortune without feeling like he had to be self-righteous about his families' hardships. By the time he had graduated Yale and accepted a job offer at one of the highest selling newspapers in Connecticut, he was no longer smug and earnest about drawing a line between himself and those wealthier than him. Besides, his fiancé had a trust fund three times the size of CeCe Rhodes' entire inheritance. Dan admitted to his fear that his career would never be enough for her if they always relied on her wealth to support them. She was afraid he would always refer to it as "her wealth and never ours". He teased her about her father's need for a prenup if that's the way she felt. In all seriousness, he told her he would try to work on his insecurities. She promised to try and always support him and make him feel validated.
They were married on October 1, 2014, at her family's estate in Davenport; it was their one year anniversary. It was a beautiful and clear, fall day and the leaves were a variety of red, orange, and green. 300 people were in attendance, and reporters lined the gates, trying to catch any shot of the harvest themed wedding. Dan asked Rufus, Eric, and his college friends from Yale to stand up with him.
Most all of Dan's friends and family were in attendance. Blair's face flashed in his mind, and just as quickly as it had come, it was gone, and he said I do. Cassandra surprised him by inviting Vanessa Abrams. They had made up through phone calls and e-mails while he was in Rome, but they were never able to re-establish a consistent friendship again. Seeing her was a welcomed surprise. Coincidentally Nate was single and he spent the entire night catching up with her.
Serena showed up with Carter, with news that they were engaged and expecting. Dan was pretty sure he was Serena-shockproof because he didn't even blink twice at the news. He remembered thinking how easy it was to forget everything that happened between him and Serena. If he was being honest, he just hadn't cared a whole lot to stay angry with her, it was never about her anyway. She would always be beautifully lost, wandering around, trying to find something to ground her. She seemed better though, she had that familiar lightness that he hadn't seen in many years, and she was genuine when she wished him a lifetime of happiness. He hoped she had finally found what she was looking for.
The twins were born on June 15, 2015; a beautiful boy and girl. Paul Dilinger Humphrey had his father's nose and his mother's chin, a mass of dark hair, and striking green eyes. Faye Cordelia Humphrey had her father's eyes and her mother's full lips. Dan wasn't prepared for the amount of love that consumed him the day he held his children for the first time, both for them and his wife. Cass had never been more beautiful to him.
They left Connecticut after three years to move to California. Dan quit his job at the paper, and became a full time dad while Cassie became more involved in directing. The next year was the beginning of the "Golden Vagabond Years", as Dan referred to them later. Cassandra Davenport had begun to make headway in Hollywood, attracting admirers and critics alike, and her career took off. They kept their home in Los Angeles, but for the next six years they were vagabonds, moving from one city to the next, flying over oceans, or shuttling from country to country by boat.
They brought Bridgett, their nanny and certified tutor, along with them, and Faye and Paul were home-schooled. They learned to speak the romance languages from exposure, and geography by mapping out their temporary homes. They kept in touch with the Humphreys and the Davenports back home through letters and postcards. They studied local culture wherever they went, and studied everything else on-set only twenty feet away from international movie stars. Dan and Cassie made sure they had every opportunity at their disposal while also keeping them grounded by not allowing smart phones or personal laptops until they were thirteen. They were given a small allowance, that they usually spent on little mementos they sent back to California for safe-keeping, that reminded them of the places they had been.
He loved spending every minute of the day with them. Paul was bright-eyed and curious, impressionable, and unabashed. Faye was more reserved, perceptive, and wise. They balanced each other out, pointing out things the other wouldn't have noticed, pushing the boundaries of their personalities, which served to strengthen them as siblings and as people in general.
They made friends wherever they stayed, and brought along the old ones. Eric and his partner, and Jenny and her husband, would come and visit them whenever they were in Europe. They made a tradition of renting a chateau in Switzerland each Christmas, inviting the entire Humphrey-Rhode's family and the Davenports. They saw their college friends whenever they came back to Connecticut. They vacationed with Nate, Vanessa, and their children in Australia, and again in Thailand two years in a row. Serena and Carter made it to Christmas every year.
Dan's last book was published a year after the twins were born. It was a transition period for him, and he struggled the whole way through it. People were expecting something sharp and self deprecating. The one he wrote was forced and dulled around the edges. It wasn't received well and it took Dan until three months into their globetrotting, for inspiration to strike again. The idea came to him for a young adult series. It would be called The Vagabond Twins.
He spent another six months making the blueprints, outlining for six novels, and writing the first installment. Cordie and Dillin, were twins who grew up as vagabonds, traveling the world with their famous mother. The twins are devilishly smart, rebellious, and quick witted. They are each others best friends and they have a Polish nanny, Elza, who serves as their loyal sidekick with a witty repartee. On their eleventh birthday they discover an ancient artifact that has magical tendencies. They are able to travel back in time but are confined to whichever city they are in at the present time. At first it's all fun and games, but they soon discover there is a whole other world around them, living in secrecy. They are hunted by an enemy that remains hidden, stumbling upon ancient prophecies and famous people they read about in history books who know more than they should. They make life long friends, lose loved ones, and learn a whole lot about growing up.
The first novel was published when the twins turn 5. It didn't take long for both, kids and adults, to fall in love with his story. He continued to publish one every year on the twins birthday, his gift to them. They are delighted, even if they don't quite understand them yet. Cass is the most excited of all, she gushes about them to every person who will listen. She tells him how proud she is to be married to a man who can give their children the gift of words, better than any monetary object. They have so much fun on the first book tour, traveling for six weeks promoting it, that Cass makes sure to schedule her projects around the releases each year.
By book five, Dan's series had a cult following. Over 50 million copies in print in 30 different languages, and the number was growing every month. The movie rights were in negotiation for an entire year before being finalized to start the six-movie, franchise as soon as the sixth book was published. Dan had already finished writing it but it wouldn't be released until June 15th of the next year.
They were living the high life, and Hollywood loved to label them "The Vagabonds" as they were photographed coming and going from award ceremonies, movie sets, or bookstores. The twins had just turned 10, and Dan had loved his wife for almost 12 years.
In the 10 and a half years they had been married, Cassandra continued to grow stronger as a wife and a mother. She never stopped moving, working all hours of the day, while finding time to spend with her kids as well. She was doing what she loved with the man she loved, and the children she would die for. She and Faye shared a special bond when it came to being on set. Faye had an eye for detail, she could sit for hours watching and helping the crew set up the film sets, picking out small components that helped complete a room. Cass and Paul were most alike though, they were the adventurous ones, always first in line to go on an excursion to some place new and exotic looking.
Cass and Dan didn't have a lot of time to themselves after their children came and their careers took off. Things were good, and they had no reason to complain. They didn't notice when they became more passionate about their careers than each other. They were so busy leading fulfilling lives they forgot to take the time to hold hands, cuddle, and connect on a deeper level.
But when Dan no longer had his series to focus on and Cassandra was in-between projects they finally noticed something was lacking. They tried not to fight about it, but Dan was never good at being at fault. He blamed her for working too much, and she couldn't believe he had jumped down her throat when they both had demanding jobs. She ended up giving in, agreeing to finally go home, settle down, spend time together, alone. They moved back to Los Angeles right after Dan's fifth book tour was done.
A week after being settled in, they had a surprise visitor. His name was Teddy Chase, and he was 16 years old. And he was claiming to be Cassandra's son.
Dan wasn't aware what had shaken him from his thoughts. But he looked around and saw most of the lingering people had vanished. He was getting up to start his walk home when he saw a woman sitting on the far east side, with her back to him. It was the same spot he had seen Blair and Serena sit so many years ago. He wondered if this was just an illusion, and couldn't stop himself from moving forward.
He came up on her left, her head turned in the opposite direction looking out, lost in thought. He found it incredible that with more than 2 million people living in Manhattan now, they were the only two people here in this place, at this time. And then again he thinks he knew from the moment he left his office tonight, that he would somehow end up here. He doesn't remember how he heard, but someone said she was in Paris working for the summer, and would be back before the fall. He wonders if he should just stop now, turn around and go home. It's been nineteen years since they spoke, they are basically strangers. But tonight, he is Dan from Brooklyn, and that's how he rationalizes what he says next.
"If I squint just right, it's like were 16 again, and you've just dumped yogurt on a some poor unsuspecting girl."
He's standing three steps to her left, and she jerks her head towards him at the sound of his voice. She stares at him for a few seconds, and for a moment he thinks he's made a mistake. It's been too long.
But then recognition pools in her eyes and the corners of her mouth turn upwards just a little.
"Make sure to keep your eyes wide open then, I would hate to have to send you home for wearing that hideous tie." Blair tells him as she nods her head at his attire.
He laughs out loud and sits down next to her.
"So when-?"
"Shhhh. Don't ruin it with your excessive talking."
She says to him smirking, with her big brown eyes. He thinks Blair Waldorf still has the most expressive eyes of any woman he has ever met. He almost objects but he doesn't. Brooklyn Dan always gave in to her, was in awe of her, and more importantly understood her. Whatever feeing that drew him here tonight, was the same that brought her here too.
So they sat there, unmoving, for ten minutes, maybe more, maybe less. Out of all the places he had lived, there was nothing that compared to New York City. He wonders why it's taken him so long to get back here. And maybe tonight is the city's way of welcoming him home. Maybe it's the same for Blair too.
"You know, when I squint just right, I'm not 16. I'm 21 and it's my last day as a princess." Blair speaks softly and stands up afterwards.
Dan feels it as soon as she does, the moment is slipping away and Brooklyn Dan along with it. He is momentarily dislodged by her confession, he can't remember her ever being forthcoming like that. A part of him is remembering a day nineteen years ago, seeing her in a pink dress with a plastic tiara. And the other part is looking at her like he doesn't know her anymore, maybe never at all. He stands up too, but he doesn't speak and it's like she notices the inner conflict taking place because she doesn't wait for a reply, instead she starts to walk down the steps toward home.
He's still standing there, awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. At the last step she turns back to him, and her tone is a little more forced but as expressive as ever.
"Welcome home, Dan."
He can't tell if the way she says it, with that devilish glare, is meant to be prophetic or a threat. He decides it's a little of both.
Thanks for all the feedback and the followers! Let me know what you think. Happy Labor Day!