Usual disclaimer: Everything Twilight's not mine. Just engaging in some creative experimentation.
Chapter 3
Perhaps, you may ask, why did it not cross my mind that my best friend could possibly harbor certain feelings toward me? But you forget that I was only seventeen, an age when I believed love was a meteor that lit up the whole night sky, an all-consuming burst of starlight that would ravish my soul. Shakespeare may have said love is blind; I think I was blind to love.
The whole business about Jacob's date left a sour taste in my mouth. I almost didn't go to Prom, but then he and Leah were nominated for Prom King and Queen. It didn't feel right not supporting my two best friends. We bought tickets to Prom on the very last day. That's how I ended up reading the tea leaves wrong again.
"You should just let your hair down." Leah appraised my hairdo as I tried different styles in the mirror. "The up-do's glamorous and all but it makes you look old."
We were in my bedroom getting ready for Prom. Leah's curves were tightly wrapped in an imitation Hervé Léger bandage dress which she had ordered online. The lime green was a perfect match for her bronzed skin, while the dress showed off her fantastic figure and never-ending legs. She wore gold pumps and matching gold eye shadow, her short cropped hair spiked up stylishly like Halle Berry. I couldn't quite remember when Leah last kept her hair long—was it seventh grade, just before she joined the track and field team?
As usual, my choice was more girly—a 60s off-shoulder chiffon dress with a full knee-length skirt in Valentino red from a vintage store in Port Angeles, paired with strappy gold heels.
"Alright then." I loosened the bun and let my dark wavy hair fall down my back. "How's this?" I turned to face Leah.
"Wow." Leah was speechless for a few seconds. "You look like Anne Hathaway."
"Ha ha. Very funny." I returned to the mirror and started applying my mascara. "If I had even half her looks I wouldn't be stuck here in Washington."
"Hey, there's nothing bad about hanging around here, you know—"
"Says the future California girl." I raised an eyebrow at her. We had toyed briefly with moving to California together but, in the end, the sums didn't stack up. It was much more affordable for me to stay in Washington.
"I wanted to—" Leah was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. It opened a crack and Charlie's voice traveled tentatively across the gap.
"Girls, are you ready yet? Jacob's been waiting downstairs for the past fifteen minutes."
"Dad, you could have told us—"
"Jake said not to disturb you girls, so, uh, I guess I'll uh, see you downstairs." The floorboard creaked as he made his way back downstairs.
Leah let out a snicker. After all these years, my father was still uncomfortable with entering my room. He never knew quite how to handle puberty when it arrived on our doorstep, and having a long-distance mom didn't ease the growing pains. I would have been lost without Leah and her mom, Sue. Everything I knew about the birds and the bees, I learned from Sue Clearwater.
"We'll be right down, Charlie," Leah yelled in return as she grabbed her purse.
An unpleasant taste seared the back of my mouth as we descended the stairs. Leah only told me last night that Jacob would be our escort. I wasn't quite ready to see him with Claire in their Prom best—no actually, I never felt comfortable seeing them together. It disrupted the dynamics of our friendship, and Jacob was totally oblivious to how Leah and I felt. He decided to start with the UW Huskies in the fall, but as the day of his departure drew near and Claire's shadow grew longer, I began to wonder if his choice had everything to do with her and nothing to do with me.
"You're frowning." Leah stopped me just before we came in full sight of our audience in the living room. She lifted her index finger and rubbed a crease I hadn't noticed on my forehead. "Don't spoil your make-up."
"My two favorite girls in the world." Jacob bounded up the steps, meeting us in the middle of the staircase with a huge grin. "Jesus Leah, I'm going to have a hard time keeping my teammates off you." His eyes ran up and down Leah's tight dress, which hid nothing.
"I can fend them off myself, thank you." Leah accepted his hand as he led her down the steps and into the living room. He returned shortly, pausing on the step below as his eyes took me in. I stole a long, lingering glance at him in the muted light of the stairway. The man that stood before me didn't look an iota like my childhood best friend, and yet it was all him—sharp, suave, and unbelievably grown-up. After a long silence, I placed my hand in his and we descended the last few steps together. It felt like we were leaving our teenage years behind us.
"Say, 'Cheese!'" I froze on the landing, blinded temporarily by the flash. Blinking, my eyes made out the hazy outline of a waif of a girl with a camera in her hands. She wore a simple chiffon dress with a fairy skirt in baby pink, her long hair loosely pinned up, the rest falling naturally down her back.
"Hey, Claire, let me take that. Come on, Leah, let me be the cameraman." We gathered on the steps for a series of photos while Charlie clicked away enthusiastically. "I'll upload and send these to Renee later. She's so excited about your Prom!"
Yeah, well, if she really cared she would be here. After all these years—twelve to be precise—I still couldn't bring myself to forgive Renee for walking out on us. We had a good relationship nowadays, but we were more like friends. I know Charlie never quite forgot her, and secretly blamed himself for her departure. Me, I just thought she was reckless and self-centered.
I felt a large, warm hand on my shoulder and looked up. Jacob's eyes flashed at me, as if to say, let it go. I know he understood—his own mother passed away shortly after Renee left, leaving us both orphans in the care of the Clearwater's while our fathers grieved. That's how Leah became our big sister and protector; with her our lives were filled with sunshine and laughter again. We were so fragile then, in part I suppose that was why our parents gave in so easily to our request to attend school together.
Charlie took a few last pictures as we exited, making our way to Jacob's rented Mustang. Leah told me he made a special trip to Port Angeles last night for this car since his Rabbit was too small for us. I knew I couldn't turn him down when I heard that.
The Prom committee did their job well. I hardly recognized the gym, which now looked like a glamorous ballroom. Darkness hid the worn parquet floor, and soft, flush lighting highlighted the flowers and streamers in strategic corners. There was a large dance floor in the center, its perimeter lined with benches from the cafeteria, each draped with starched white cloths and gold ribbon.
"I'll go and get some punch—you girls grab a seat." Jacob disappeared into the crowd, leaving us standing at the entrance. I turned towards Leah and noticed Claire's eyes sparkling. As much as I hated to admit it, she had a certain innocence that was attractive. Leah was pulled away by a track teammate, and suddenly I was left alone with Claire.
I didn't know what to say to her, so I motioned her to a table at the back of the hall. We sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments, although she looked like she wanted to get something off her chest. Finally, she spoke up. "Bella?" she asked nervously.
"Yeah?" I don't bite, I almost added.
"Will you help me keep an eye on Jake in Seattle?"
"I'm sorry?" What was that supposed to mean?
"Well, make sure he sleeps properly, for one. He's always so busy he can't keep track of his appointments, and sometimes he forgets to sleep."
"Uh-huh." I wasn't expecting that.
"And make sure he doesn't go crazy with all the partying, and the girls," she continued. "I mean, I'm not under any illusion that he's not going to get tempted. It is the big city, after all."
Huh. Did this girl really care about him? I was starting to re-assess Claire, when Leah and Jacob stumbled towards us, his arm around her waist as they laughed over a joke. Leah set down the tray of drinks before us.
"Coke for you, baby girl." He handed a red plastic cup to Claire, pulling out a stool and settling behind me. Jacob still hadn't spoken directly to me all night, apart from some perfunctory remarks in the car. We barely started on our drinks when another of his teammates pulled him away, leaving an awkward silence hanging in the space between Claire and me that was drowned out only when the stereo kicked in. The first riffs of "Teenage Dream" started playing over the speakers. I sipped my fruit punch miserably as Claire started questioning Leah about Stanford.
"I'm so envious." I heard her gush. "It must be so exciting to move to California. The farthest I've ever been from La Push is Port Angeles."
"It'll be your turn soon enough," was Leah's curt reply. I chuckled silently. We both felt the same towards Claire.
"Let's dance." Leah walked round to my side and reached for my hand. "Claire, you don't mind do you?" She didn't even wait for my answer or Claire's as she pulled me onto the dance floor.
"Leah, you know I hate Katy Perry! And it wasn't nice to leave Claire alone like that." I stood limply as Leah started gyrating to the music.
"It's not our job to baby-sit her." She shrugged and continued dancing. "Come on, that's the whole point of Prom. You're supposed to let yourself loose and dance to stupid music." Leah placed her hands on my hips. Reluctantly, I started to move a little.
"I wanted to tell you something, Bella." Leah's serious tone fell heavy against the bubble gum soundtrack. "I'm not going to Stanford."
"What?" My jaw hung open for a few seconds. "Leah, how could you ... ?"
"Stanford means nothing to me if I don't have my two best friends by my side." There was a dark look in her eyes, one that I never saw before.
"But ... didn't you pay a deposit already? And UW, will they still take you?"
"Yeah, term only starts in September, same as Stanford, so there's still time. It'll work out."
"I ... I don't know what to say, Leah." This was a huge sacrifice on Leah's part: if she went to Stanford she would be learning from the nation's best and brightest, hell, she'd probably become rich and famous one day. She deserved to go to Stanford, not stay behind with the rest of us in Washington.
"You don't want me there?" Doubt and uncertainty flashed in her eyes.
"No!" I said, almost a little too forcefully. "I mean, I'm glad you'll be with us but—it's a big sacrifice, and I honestly don't think we're worth it ... "
"Oh, Bella." Leah's voice choked a little as she pulled me into an embrace. Her shoulders shook and I stroked her back as she sobbed into my shoulder.
"Shh, it'll be alright." I comforted her. Looking up, I saw Jacob standing at the edge of the dance floor, hands on his hips. He shot me a questioning look. "Later," I mouthed.
Eventually, Leah raised her head and straightened herself. "You okay?" I brushed her hair away from her brow. Her eyes were red.
"Yeah." She smiled weakly. "Sorry, I messed up your dress." She tried to pat my dress sleeve dry with her hand—and then another hand, rougher and larger, covered hers, pulling her away. Jacob stepped between us and folded Leah into his arms. He had a way with her that I could never copy. Retreating to a bench at the side, I watched quietly as he spoke to her in an inaudible tone, his hand cupped gently around the back of her head.
My mind started to wander and the bodies in front of me merged into a blur. It was still a little hard to believe that high school had come to an end. It was, to quote George Eliot, as if the golden gates of childhood were about to close forever behind us. A year ago when we started our college applications, I was thrilled to bits at the possibilities before me—much like Claire's earlier enthusiasm. But, sitting there, I felt a pang of regret, as if the age of innocence had passed.
"Penny for your thoughts?" It took me a second to recognize Mike Newton. He wore a sharp new suit—tailored, evidently—a silk bow tie, and patent leathers. His outfit probably cost over a thousand dollars. Shifting uncomfortably, he placed his weight on one foot, then another, as if debating whether to come closer and risk rejection. Remembering Leah's advice, I gestured for him to sit down.
"Enjoying yourself?" He settled a safe distance beside me.
"S'alright." Whatever Jacob said must have worked. Leah's expression lightened up considerably and she was dancing again.
"So, Seattle, right?"
"Yeah."
"When do you leave?"
"Not till September," I replied. "I'll be working at Outfitters all summer."
"That's great!" His eyes lit up. "I'll be working there too. My parents insist I understand all the nuts and bolts before I leave for USC.
"We start in August though, so I'll be leaving much earlier." His voice turned forlorn.
I didn't answer, my eyes still on the dance floor. Rihanna was playing; she was one of Leah's favorites and I knew it would get her in the mood. Sure enough, Leah started imitating Rihanna's dance moves and Jacob was her Chris Brown.
"They look good, together, huh?"
"Yeah."
"So-say, Bella, you aren't going out with Jacob are you?" Mike spoke rapidly, seeming afraid I would cut him off. "Cos if you aren't—and he's an idiot not to want to—I was kinda hoping you would ... I mean, do you mind if I take you out to dinner sometime?"
I stared at him blankly. Wasn't he dating Jessica Stanley now? As though he had read my thoughts, he continued, "Just—just see it as a farewell dinner, since we're all heading our separate ways. No obligations. I'd really like to get to know you. You seem real sweet but it's so hard to talk to you since you're always with Leah or Jacob at school... . Sorry, I hope I didn't say the wrong thing... ."
That was the longest string of sentences Mike Newton had ever spoken to me. Even if he sounded like a shy, stammering idiot, his sincerity still touched me. And then I asked myself, why was I denying myself the pleasure of expanding my social circle? If Jacob had no qualms going out with other girls while hanging out with us, what was there to stop me from getting to know other guys? It's not like we were going to jump into bed the next second. A few moments later, I raised my eyes to his and simply said, "Sure."
My response elicited a grin from Mike that stretched from ear to ear. Shifting closer, he placed a hand behind my back as he took down my number. He cupped my elbow gently, as if to pull me up—when Jacob cut in.
"Dance?" He stood in front of me with his hand outstretched, casting an unfriendly stare at Mike.
"So, uh, I'll call you later?" Mike asked. His voice shook a little tremulously. I guess Jacob could be quite intimidating. I sighed and placed my hand in his.
"That wasn't very nice," I chided as he slipped an arm around my back. We swayed out-of-rhythm to the beat, which I recognized as some silly Taylor Swift break-up song.
"I thought you didn't like him. I was just trying to help you get the message across." He gave me his best hurt puppy dog look. "Was he trying to ask you out again?"
"Yeah." I shrugged. "And I said yes this time."
His eyes narrowed. "Why?"
"What does it matter to you?" Do I ever question you about your girls? "I can go out with whomever I like." I retaliated.
He did that annoying thing again—opening his mouth as if to speak, and then shutting it again. "Sure, sure, you can go out with Mike Newton ... if that's what makes you happy."
"Thanks for your permission." I decided sarcasm was a good antidote to his righteousness.
"Leah told me." He changed the topic. "What do you think?"
"It's kinda sad," I said after a pause. "She's giving up a fantastic opportunity, and I don't think we're sufficient grounds to hold her back. What did you tell her?"
"I'm not sure you really understand her, Bells."
"Wh—what are you saying?"
"I mean, she looks confident and sure of herself and all. But inside she's really vulnerable." he said. "Plus, there're a few things she's quite confused about."
Huh? Were we talking about the same Leah? I tilted my head, puzzled.
"Just ... she's a little confused about her feelings." He left it at that, sliding his arm down to my waist and curling his hand around my hip. He pulled me closer and placed his other hand at the nape of my neck. "Maybe I am too," he said under his breath, threading his fingers into my hair.
"Yeah, that's why you haven't talked to me all night," I retorted. I tried to take a step back but he held me firmly in his grip.
"Hey ... " He pulled me even closer, as if that were possible, and placed his lips on my ear. "I couldn't say anything because you took my breath away."
"Right." I rolled my eyes. "Where do you learn these pick up lines, huh, Jake?" Eyes wide, he stiffened and loosened his hold on me.
"I mean, is Claire okay with this?" I nudged over his shoulder. Claire was just a few feet away, dancing with Tyler, who seemed to have a thing for Quileute girls.
"With what?" He cocked his head at me.
"You know. This." I nudged at his hand.
He didn't answer but instead took my left hand and placed it around his neck.
"We broke up last week," he spoke after a few long moments.
What? The music was so loud I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly. I lifted my gaze—and was met with eyes that reflected a muddled mix of emotions: hope, worry and uncertainty. I looked down at my feet, confused.
We danced quietly for the rest of the song. When it ended, the hosts for the evening, Angela Weber and Eric Yorkie emerged from the wings of the stage. It was time to garland the winners of the Prom King and Queen competition.
"They're calling you." I prompted him. Holding my gaze, his hand lingered on the small of my back. "Go." I hurried him. He finally released me and headed onstage.
I found Claire seated near the stage and sat down beside her as the emcees began explaining the rules, criteria, and voting process. The vote was a pure popularity contest. There were three male nominees: Jacob, Tyler, and a basketball player named Jeff Newman, while Leah's rivals for Prom Queen were Lauren and Jessica. I couldn't help thinking it would be a form of poetic justice for ninth grade Biology if Leah and Jacob triumphed tonight.
And then my thought actually became reality. I almost couldn't believe it until I saw the dirty looks exchanged between Lauren and Jessica as first Leah, and then Jacob were crowned Queen and King.
My heart was bursting with pride for my two best friends. It was probably the first time in the history of Forks High that two kids from the reservation made it so far, not just in school, but also socially. Jacob was our high school's star football player, so his triumph was just icing on the (beef)cake, but Leah's victory reflected her place in the hearts of our classmates, won over by her charm and natural leadership. Lights flashed as Jacob circled his arm around Leah's shoulder and pulled her towards him. And then, unexpectedly, he bent her slightly at the waist and placed a kiss on her lips.
It didn't register immediately, but a few days later, I saw a photo of their kiss on the front page of the Forks High Journal. Their tanned, well-toned bodies moulded into each other, Leah's eyes half-opened in surprise, contentment clearly visible in Jacob's expression. They looked like the perfect couple.
The thought struck me then: was Leah interested in Jacob? Was that what he had been trying to tell me?
A/N: Major thanks to Leelator, my beta, who makes my writing so much better.