Chapter 6

Everyone is getting ready to exchange gifts tonight. Usually they do the traditional Christmas Day exchange Kate told me but with Elliot going away with Kate and Mia mentioned Cabo with her friends they decided to do it this evening so their whole family could be together. I stand aside silently in a dark corner of the room as everyone gathers together on plush chocolate leather couches facing the 10 foot perfectly decorated tree with a working antique train set next to the fireplace surrounded by a lovely stone wall from a fairytale castle. I watch in wonder as they exchange Rolex watches and Cartier jewelry, French perfume and designer handbags. I am trying to get Kate's attention but she is wrapped tight in Elliot's arms as she fawns over the platinum and diamond Cartier necklace he gifted her with. I feel like an idiot. Everyone is going to laugh when they see what I got her and Elliot. Christian is sitting on a chair legs crossed on his blackberry with a glass of wine in one hand, peeking up every so often

I stand close by the doorway plotting my escape to the bathroom. As soon as she picks up the gift I am going to make a run for it. Christian rises and walks towards me and looks up.

"Waiting for me Miss Steele?" and I realize I'm back under the mistletoe. I shrug and quickly step aside and look down embarrassed. I've had enough attention on me for one evening. Christian stands next to me trying to think of what to say but Kate catches my eye and I see her pick the bag with the gifts I bought for her and Elliot and I try to shake my head subtly to indicate that I don't want her to open it them here but she ignores me.

"This is from Ana" she announces as she pulls the two gifts wrapped in Santa and snowman paper from the bag. I am already mortified. All of the other gifts were intricately wrapped in some fancy department store.

She rips open the paper and I sink my head down feeling embarrassed about my cheap gift when clearly they spent more on giftwrap. She pulls out a pair of sock monkey pajamas and matching socks and I hang my head in shame. Christian is staring at me looking lost for a moment. Kate had the same exact pajamas and she loved and wore all the time until she had a laundry mishap and had to part ways. They were her "occasion PJ's" as she called them, worn when sick, depressed from a breakup, for studying or when she was in love.

After she started dating Elliot she wore them constantly and they got a lot of good use. She looked everywhere for them for three months and finally gave up and so I thought this would really make her happy, now I just feel like a fool. As she pulls them from the box I can hear a few laughs from Mia's friends and I look up to see Christian Grey's reaction and he looks scowling mad at them. He looks down kindly at me and I shrug embarrassed.

Kate runs over to me and lifts me up and hugs me

"I looked everywhere for these, I can't believe you found them" and she squeezes me tightly once more and gives me a big kiss on the cheek.

She starts telling everyone the story about how she had the same pair and ruined them and that this was the most thoughtful gift she's ever received except of course from Elliot. I grin but I know she's just protecting me from further humiliation. I open the envelope she hands me and it has a $50.00 gift card to my favorite vintage book store here in Seattle and I thank her and Elliot quietly. Christian looks angry at her and I don't know why. I don't think he likes her. She did mention that she thinks he's a jackass but she wasn't specific.

Next Elliot opens the gift I got for him, Its and eco-friendly desktop planter mini model home with a solar powered light, calculator, and pen holder made from recycled materials. I tried my best to put thought into their gifts but I'm on a budget and did my best. He smiles at me and says

"Thanks Ana, this is really cool" in a genuinely pleased tone and hugs me, then he goes on about ways to save the earth. Christian smiles broadly at me and my legs almost buckle. Elliot's got the crowd at full attention with his story and I'm able to slip away quietly. I don't care if I freeze my ass of I need to get the hell away from here now. I just feel like a fool. I swallow the lump and hold back my tears. What the fucking hell was I thinking bringing the gifts tonight? They spent thousands of dollars on each other and I had to save up to spend $50.00 for both gifts combined.

I walk down the driveway and let the tears roll as I head into the dark. I find a tissue in my purse and pat my eyes but eventually just succumb to my crying, better to just let it out catch my breath and say my goodnights. I tried to hold it in but I couldn't. As I move farther away from the house I just see a bench under a large tree and grip myself tight and cry it out. I am so cold. I need to get a grip and go back inside.

I search through my purse looking for my cell and I remember leaving it on my chair at the dining table, shit. I stop myself before I start to cry again. I just want to text Kate and have her bring me home. I don't want to go back inside and face anyone they must think I'm just beneath them. I just wanted to be an observer this evening instead I was the star act. The guest of a guest who kissed the billionaire in a sideshow spectacle under the mistletoe and the girl who gave the sock monkey PJ's to her best friend after she just opened a Cartier necklace. Grr I just want to crawl under my bed and hide like a baby.