Ch.3

(BPOV)

Spending some time with Esme really gave me a chance to relax and think. To be honest I am shocked that dad arrested her. I guess he is finally over her. Saying goodnight to Esme after she dropped me off at home I headed inside. I was planning to just go up to my room, take some pain killers, cause between my wrist and face, I knew it was needed, then maybe watch some TV and write in my journal.

"Bells, sweetie." Dad called from the living room as I shut the front door. Walking into the living room I sat down on the couch next to him.

"You OK?" he asked looking at the bruise on my cheek. All I could do was shrug my shoulders. I was feeling so many things at one moment that I couldn't choose just one thing to feel.

"Listen kiddo. I am really sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about dad."

"Yes there is. I should have sent her away the second she knocked on the door."

"I don't blame you for anything. In fact I'm kinda glad that it all happened."

"What? Bella you've got to be kidding me."

"No dad really. Knowing what she is really like, I don't have to wonder anymore."

"Wonder about what Bells?"

"Wondering about why she left and if she ever truly loved me. Now I know she never did and that we are better off without her."

"I'm really proud of you kiddo. Despite everything you have been through you have turned into an incredible young women."

"Thanks dad. You've been great too. I know raising me by yourself hasn't been easy."

"You're right it hasn't, but I wouldn't change it for anything. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Leaning into his side I debated how to ask him this next question. I'm also not too sure if I want to know the answer or not.

"Um.. Dad?"

"Yes kiddo."

"Is what she said true? That she never wanted to have kids and that she wanted to abort me?"

"Oh kiddo, I'm so sorry you had to hear that. Unfortunately it is true. Thankfully I was able to stop her from doing it."

"So why didn't she just walk away right after I was born. I mean if she was so against having kids, why stick around?"

"I'm not sure Bells."

"OK. I'm going to head up to my room." I said as I got up off the couch and stretched.

"Alright. Oh, Bells."

"Yeah Dad.?" I asked as I turned around.

"Carlisle, Billy and I are going fishing tomorrow, and then you and I are having dinner at the Cullen's."

"OK. Maybe I'll see if Esme would like to hang out if she is not to busy."

"OK. Night kiddo."

"Night Dad." With that I headed up the stairs. Once I got to my room I decided to take a nice hot shower to relax all my muscles. Grabbing my pjs and my toiletry bag I headed to the bathroom.

My shower was nice and relaxing. I didn't want to look in the mirror and see the bruise. I knew it would be a nice, dark, black and blue, based on the pain I was feeling. My wrist was also starting to bother me. Maybe I shouldn't have done all that mixing, but it was soothing. Oh well, I'll just have to deal.

Once I got settled on my papasan chair I figured I should call Alice and let her know what happened. Grabbing my cell phone I dialed her number.

"I've been waiting for you to call." She answers.

"Well hi to you too." I giggled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, hi. So what happened?"

"What makes you think something happened?"

"Really Bella? I know you. I can hear it in your voice."

"Fine. Something did happen when I got home." After a minute of silence Alice spoke again "Well are you going to tell me or am I gonna have to guess?"

"Renee was there."

"WHAT!?" she shrieked, as I pulled the phone away from my ear. "You're kidding me right?"

"I wish I was."

"Tell me what happened, right now!"

" Pushy, pushy, aren't we?"

"Bellllla?" she warned.

"Ok, ok, I'll tell you." And so I did. I told her the whole story and I couldn't tell whether she was really mad, trying not to cry, or both.

"I can't believe she hit you."

"Yeah well she did. And I still haven't told you the best part yet."

"Tell me, tell me." I could just picture her bouncing in her seat at the moment.

"Dad arrested her." I giggled.

"OMG, that's priceless." By this point we were both giggling like crazy.

"So are you still going to see Jasper tomorrow?"

"Yeah, unless you want me to stick around. Jasper would understand."

"No. Alice go see him. I'll be fine. I think I'm gonna hang around the bakery with Esme. Beside dad said we are having dinner with the Cullen's."

"Ok. As long as you're sure."

"I'm positive."

Alice and I talked for a few more hours. By the time that we got off the phone it was 12 in the morning. I was tired, but at the same time I wasn't. I was going to grab a book to read, when something else caught my eye. It was my scrapbook.

Grabbing it I smiled. I remembered when I put this together. I had gone up to the attic to get the Christmas decorations. I had knocked over a box by accident, and a bunch of pictures fell out of it. I couldn't stop looking at them and that is where dad found me hours later. He said that I could keep them if I wanted too. So I did. Then a few days later dad had come home with a bunch of scrapbooking stuff.

My favorite picture by far would have to be the one where I am a baby and sleeping on dad's chest while he was asleep in his favorite recliner. We both had peaceful looks on our faces and our bodies looked very relaxed. Dad has told me in the past that when I was a baby I was very colicky and sleep for anyone was not easy, so the fact that both dad and I were sleeping so soundly was a nice thing.

Looking at all the pictures brought tears to my eyes. I had never noticed before now, but Renee was not in any of the pictures. I guess it didn't surprise me, but for some reason it still hurt a bit. I know my life wouldn't be what it is today if she had never walked out on us, and that I hate her, but a part of me wishes that she would have stuck around and would have been my mother.

Having Esme around is great and she has been like a mother to me, but sometimes it's not the same. Esme has been in my life for about a year and it has been great, but all the time before that, it was hard. Don't get me wrong, my dad has been amazing, but having him explain what a period is, well let's just say that was extremely awkward.

Looking at the clock again I saw that it was now 2 in the morning. I figured now would be a good time to crawl into bed. I took a pain killer before I was out completely since both my wrist and face were hurting. As I drifted to sleep all I could think about was if my luck would ever change. The only thing I could do was hope and pray.

Waking up hours later, which felt like only a few minutes, I rolled over to look at my alarm clock. Groaning I saw that it was only 7:30. I was hoping to sleep in, but I guess it wasn't happening.

After lying in bed for a couple more minutes I knew that it was time to get up and start my day. Going over to my closet I looked over all my clothes, choosing to wear my favorite worn pair of jeans, a blue camisole, and my dad's black and grey checkered long-sleeved shirt (that I stole from him) and my black converse.

Swiping my toiletry bag, I made my way over to the bathroom for a hot shower. I didn't want to see the bruise yet, so I opted to not look in the mirror. I started the shower, grabbed a towel, stripped out of my pj's, took the brace off my wrist, and hopped into the shower.

The second I stepped under the warm spray, I felt all of my muscles relax. My wrist was feeling a bit sore, but I felt it was ok enough to use to wash my hair. Once I finished that, I used my favorite body was that smelled like freesias. Lathering my body up I inhaled a nice deep breath. The scent has always calmed me down. I stood still for about a minute letting the scent surround me.

The water started to get cold, so I rinsed off my body, shut the water off, and stepped out of the shower. After wrapping my towel around me, I grabbed my brace and put it back on. I stood in front of the fogged mirror wondering if I should look at the bruise. Knowing that I needed to I wiped the mirror clean. Taking a deep breath I lifted my head and looked into the mirror.

The bruise was horrible. It was a deep purple with some black and blue thrown in. bringing my hand up, I slowly and lightly ran my fingers over the bruise. All that ran through my head was why.

I just couldn't understand why she did it. It couldn't have been just about the money. Right? There had to of been a point in her life where she did love me. Even if it was just a tiny bit. If she never did, then why didn't she just leave right after I was born? Why stick around for 5 years? It's not like I can ask her, cause I knew she wouldn't answer me, and two I hoped to never see her again.

Having looked at myself long enough I headed back to my room so I could get dressed. Walking over to my bed I stopped at my full length mirror to look at myself. I know that I am not drop dead gorgeous, but I did have a nice body. I dropped my towel to really look at myself. I wasn't fat by any means, but I also wasn't a twig either. I had long chocolate brown hair that fell down to my breasts and in the sunlight you could see hints a red in there. My breasts were a nice cup size, and I had curves in all the right places.

I went over to my dresser to grab my plain white bra and some boy short panties. After those were on I put my jeans, camisole and over shirt on along with my converse. Alice has tried countless times to get me into "sexier" things, but I don't want that. It's not like anyone is going to see them. Maybe if I ever get a boyfriend I will, but until then I will stick with what I've got.

After I was done getting dressed I grabbed my laundry basket and headed down stairs to take care of all my dirty laundry. I switched over the load that dad had started of his things and started the dryer. I then put my things in the washer and got that started. Taking a glance at the clock I saw that it was only 8:45.

Figuring that I should eat something, I fixed myself a bagel and some eggs. By the time that I was done cooking and eating the dryer was finished so I took out dad things and put them in a basket, then put my things into the dryer and started it. Dragging he basket of dad's clothes into the living room, I turned on the TV, sat down and started to fold his clothes.

Bringing the basket up stairs to his room, I went back down to grab my dry clothes, to bring them up to my room so I could get them folded and put away. Going back down stairs, I went into the kitchen swiped my keys off the counter and headed out. It was a decent enough day (not raining for a change) so I walked to The Goody Bag, Esme's bakery.