ALL: When the course is laid and the anchor's weighed, a sailor's blood begins racing. With our hearts unbound and our flag unfurled…
DR GARFIELD: We're underway and off to see the world!
ALL: Underway and off to see the world! HEAVE HO! WE'LL GO ANYWHERE THE WIND IS BLOWING!
POINTY-HAIRED BOSS: Manly men are we…
ALL: SAILING FOR ADVENTURE ON THE DEEP BLUE SEA!
"Safely now, Mr Silver!" ordered Sarge. "Let's not get sloppy just because we're singing!"
"Aye, aye, Sarge!" laughed Long John.
ALL: Danger walks the deck, we say what the heck? We laugh at the perils we're facing.
CALVIN: Every storm we ride is its own reward!
HOBBES: And people die by falling overboard.
ALL: People die by falling overboard! HEIGH HO! WE'LL GO ANYWHERE THE WIND IS BLOWING! HOIST THE SAILS AND SING…!
SQUIRE SATCHEL: Sailing for adventure on the big blue wet thing!
In the far corner of the ship, three of them were chattering evilly.
BUCKY: I love to see 'em cry when they walk the plank!
ZERO: I prefer to cut a throat.
HAGAR: I love to hang 'em high and watch their little feet try to walk in the air while there faces turn blue.
Then they noticed that Sarge was standing over them.
ZERO: Uh…just kidding.
BUCKY, ZERO & HAGAR: It's a good life on a boat.
ALL: There are distant lands with burning sands that call across the ocean.
CATS: There are bingo games every fun-filled day!
FEMALE CAT: And margaritas at the midnight buffet!
ALL: Margaritas at the midnight buffet! HEIGH HO! WE'LL GO ANYWHERE THE WIND IS BLOWING!
ROY AND BERNIE: Should have took a train!
ALL: SAILING FOR ADVENTURE ON THE BOUNDING MAIN!
JIM: The salty breezes whisper. Who knows what lies ahead? I just know I was born to lead the life my father led!
LONG JOHN: The stars will be a compass wherever we may roam. And our mates will always be…just like a family…and although we may put into port, the sea is always home!
"All right, Mr Bimbo!" Squire Satchel said to his finger. "I didn't know you had such a good singing voice." He held the finger up to his ear. "You're welcome."
ALL: We'll chase our dreams standing on our own over the horizon to the great unknown. HEIGH HO! WE'LL GO ANYWHERE THE WIND IS BLOWING! BOLD AND BRAVE AND FREE! SAILING FOR ADVENTURE!
HOBBES: It's so nauseating!
ALL: SAILING FOR ADVENTURE!
CALVIN: So exhilarating!
ALL: SAILING FOR ADVENTURE!
CAT TOURISTS: We're all celebrating!
ALL: ON THE DEEP BLUE SEA!
Sarge began blowing a whistle.
"Roll call!" he shouted.
He picked up a list and started to read from it.
"Long John Silver?"
"Aye, aye, Sir!"
"Short Stack Nermal?"
"Aye!"
"One-Eyed Jack?"
"Aye!"
"Black-Eyed Pea?"
"Yea!"
"Walleyed Pike?"
"Aye!"
"Bucky Katt!"
"Eh?"
"Hagar the Horrible?"
"Aye."
"Beetle Bailey?"
"Aye."
"Old Tom?"
"Aye, aye!"
"Real Old Tom?"
"Aye!"
"Dead Tom?"
"Aye, aye!"
"Zero?"
"Huh?"
"Headless Bill!"
There was no response.
Sarge looked up and searched the crowd.
"Headless Bill?"
Snoopy and Sarge then saw a man with no head standing in the crowd. He saluted.
Sarge returned to the list.
"Big Fat Ugly Bug-Faced Baby-Eating O'Brian?"
"Aye!"
Snoopy and Sarge's mouths dropped.
It was a woman.
They snapped out of it and resumed.
"Angel Marie?"
"Aye! Aye!" a gruff reply came.
Snoopy held his paws behind his back and started nodding with a blank expression on his face. Then he faced the main crew.
"Gentlemen?" he asked. "May I see you all in my office, like, say, now?"
The others nodded.
"WHO HIRED THIS CREW?!" Snoopy shouted as he sat at table with the others gathered around. "THIS IS UNDOUBTEDLY THE SEEDIEST BUNCH OF CUTTHROATS AND VILLAINS I HAVE EVER SEEN, SO WHO HIRED 'EM?!"
As he caught his breath from shouting, everyone pointed at Squire Satchel.
Squire Satchel pointed at his finger.
Snoopy stared at him.
"Your finger hired the crew?" he asked.
"No!" Satchel laughed. "That's silly. The man who lives in my finger hired the crew, Mr Bimbo! He's a genius!"
Then he brought his finger to his ear and paused.
"Ohhh…," he said. "He says he relied heavily on the advice of the cook, Long John Silver!"
Snoopy sunk into his chair.
"A cook and a guy who lives in a mutt's finger?" he asked.
"Exact-actly!" Squire Satchel said cheerfully.
Snoopy and Sarge groaned.
"I'm starting to worry about this voyage," Snoopy sighed. He addressed Jim. "Jim, I know Billy Bones gave you the treasure map, but I hope you'll give it me for safekeeping."
Jim shook his head and tucked the map into his vest.
"I'll be careful with it, sir," he said.
Before Snoopy could object, there was a knock at the door. Jim opened it, and in hobbled Long John, pushing a cart with trays on it.
"Beggin' yer pardon, gentlemen," he said cheerfully, "but I've come with a bit of a treat for you. Tis my very own best brandy laid down by the brewers of Buckfast Abby, Vintage 1327, to toast to a prosperous voyage!"
As he poured the glasses, Dr Garfield whispered to Odie.
"He's prepared to give liquor to a bunch of kids and animals?" he whispered.
Odie shrugged.
"Spiffy!" Squire Satchel said, taking a glass.
"I'm sorry, Mr Silver, but there is no drinking to be allowed on this voyage," said Captain Snoopy.
Squire Satchel stopped before the glass reached his lips.
"Oh," he said. "Well, rules are rules." And he poured the liquid out the window.
"Oh, but sir, 'tis a tradition for the officers to toast to the success of a voyage!"
Squire Satchel began to refill his glass.
"Oh, very true," he said.
"No," said Snoopy. "We must set an example for this crew that got picked out from Hank's Hoodlums. There is to be no consumption of alcohol on this voyage."
Squire Satchel shrugged and poured his drink out the window again.
"But sir, I can vouch for this crew myself!" Long John said. "You can sail to heaven and back with these men."
Squire Satchel poured his drink again.
"Well, I'm afraid I must disagree with you," said Snoopy firmly.
Squire Satchel sighed and poured his drink out the window again.
"Ack!" someone shrieked.
Some of the cat tourists poked their heads inside.
"You wanna knock it off with the booze? It's peeling the paint off of the shuffleboard court!"
"Sorry," said Squire Satchel.
They left.
"And that is final!" said Captain Snoopy. "It is not safe to drink and sail."
Long John nodded.
"I understand, sir," he said, almost forcing it out. "I shall tend to my duty, and see to it that every drop of alcohol is thrown overboard."
"Yeah, that's looking out for the environment," said Dr Garfield. "Now all the fish are gonna be drunk."
"C'mon, Jim," said Long John, taking the cart away. "Don't bother Captain!"
Jim glanced at Snoopy.
"You can go if you want to, Jim," Snoopy said with a smile. "Make sure he does what he said he'd do."
Jim nodded and followed after Long John.
Calvin and Hobbes got up to follow him, but Jim didn't see them and shut the door before they could. They stopped in their tracks.
"Well!" said Calvin. "I guess the normal people want to hang out together!"
"I've never been so insulted!" Hobbes added.
They both snorted angrily.
Late that night, the ship sailed through the waters that were the ocean.
Jeremy Duncan, Hector Garcia, Tim Olsen, Sara Toomey and Pierce were playing a slow song in their band. The cat tourists were all dancing to it while the crew got some sleep.
But up above, Long John and Jim were watching the ocean go by at the back.
"I'm sorry your present didn't work out," said Jim.
Long John scoffed.
"Ah, Jim," he said knowingly. "Captain Snoop travels by rules. That's what bein' a captain's all about. Me, I sails by the stars."
"Stars?" asked Jim.
Long John looked up at the sky.
"North, Jim," he said. "Find me north up there among them stars."
Jim promptly started to pull out the compass.
"Well, that's easy," he began, but Long John took it away and dangled it over the edge.
"Ah, but what if you didn't have a compass?" he chuckled.
Jim reached for it.
"Long John, please don't drop it!" he cried. "It was my father's! It's all I have left of him! Please!"
Long John settled and handed it back to him.
"I'm sorry, lad," he said somberly. "I were only foolin'…"
Jim nodded and put the compass back in his pocket.
"How old were you when he died then?"
"Seven."
Long John raised an eyebrow and glanced down at him. Then he looked back at the sky.
"I were eight when my father died at sea," he said at last. "First Mate, he was."
Jim looked up.
"My father was the First Mate too!"
Long John looked down at him, surprised.
"Was he now? By the powers, what a coincidence!" he grinned.
As he chuckled, he turned around to another point of the sky and pointed.
"See that star, Jim? That be Polaris, the North Star," he said. "Even in the China Sea, that north."
Jim pointed at it.
"North, Polaris?" he repeated.
Long John nodded.
Jim thought.
"Then…we must be heading southwest," he concluded.
Long John chuckled happily.
"Smart as paint, you are lad," he praised. "Smart as paint!" Then he paused. "Now, that gets ol' Long John to wonderin'… Why would we be sailin' southwest?"
Jim shifted uncomfortably.
Long John continued. "The scuttlebutt around the crew is that we're sailing for buried treasure…and that someone on board…has a map…"
Jim didn't look at him.
Long John paused, but got nothing.
"Course, it be none of my concern, Jim," he said at last, letting it go. "I'm just a ship's cook! Such matters are best left to Captain Snoopy. He runs this ship, not I."
Jim grinned.
"Come on, Long John. You could captain this ship," he said.
Long John grinned sneakily.
"That I could, Jim," he said. "Maybe someday I will."
And they both chuckled as the watched the stars go by.
And down below, the music came to a gentle halt.
In his office, Captain Snoopy was looking at a picture fondly. A voice rang through his mind.
Oh, Snoop, my love for you is deeper than the deep blue sea, the voice said.
Captain Snoopy held the picture to his chest as he looked out the window. He saw a shooting star fly by.
And the ship sailed onwards.