It was late at night now.
Captain Snoopy, Calvin and Hobbes were still tied to the stakes.
Spa'am finally returned with some of his men.
"Take white, floppy-eared one away," he ordered. "Others stay. Chop, chop!"
The men immediately untied Snoopy and began taking him away.
"Hey, wait!" Calvin shouted. "Bring him back! Don't take him!"
Hobbes gulped as he watched them boil some water.
"Oh, I wish we were back at the Admiral Bimbo eating table scraps," he mumbled.
"Ha! We're about to become table scraps," Calvin snorted.
Hobbes threw his hands up in annoyance.
"I cannot believe this! I have a good mind to complain to Animal Services!"
Then he realized something. He'd thrown his hands up! There were bits of rope sliding off of them.
"Hey, I'm cut loose!" he cried.
"Yeah, what else is new?" Calvin said, rolling his eyes.
"Hiya, guys," a voice said.
"ACK!" they both cried.
Then they saw it was Jim, and he was now cutting Calvin free.
"Jim!" Calvin whispered. "They've got Captain Snoopy!"
"I know. Come on, we're gonna get help."
"Where're we gonna go?!" Hobbes asked.
Once Calvin was cut free, Jim led them away.
At a small lagoon, the pirates had captured Long John and had tied him to a tree.
One of the pirates was sobbing over the dead body of another.
"Oh, Tom, Tom, Tom," he wailed. "Dead Tom's dead!" he said angrily. "LONG JOHN SHOT HIM!" And he began to sob again.
The other pirates stared at him awkwardly.
One finally stepped forward.
"But…but Dead Tom's always been dead. That's why he's called Dead Tom," he said.
There was a pause.
"Oh," the pirate said, dropping the skeleton on the ground.
"Okay, let's hurry this up!" Bucky shouted. "I'm missing my programs! Zero!"
Zero stepped forward.
"Yeah?"
"Give it to him!"
Zero hesitated.
"But…it's not even his birthday," he said unsurely.
"THE PAPER, YOU SIMP! GIVE HIM THE PAPER!"
Zero had to think about it again before he finally understood.
"Oh, Gotchya!" he said triumphantly.
And he approached Long John, chuckling as he handed him a piece of paper.
"This is for you," he said kindly.
Long John looked at the paper, staring at the single black dot that took up the entire page.
"The Black Spot?" he asked.
"Yeah," the pirates growled.
"You dare…to give me…the Black Spot?!" he growled back, twice as menacingly.
Zero grew nervous.
"But…but he told me to!" he insisted.
"Shut up, fool!" Bucky hissed.
"And," Long John continued, rage growing, "it's drawn on a page from the Bible?! You tore a page from the Holy Scriptures to make a pirate's death sentence?!?"
Hagar, who was holding said Bible, immediately shoved into Zero's hands.
Long John suddenly began to chant.
"OH, THE RED HOT GATES OF HELL ARE CREEPING OPEN!!"
The pirates groaned in terror while Zero looked around in confusion. He couldn't see any gates.
"SATAN IS HEATIN' HIS POKERS FER YOU, YOU BLASPHEMOUS HEATHENS!"
They all began to whimper.
"FALL DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND BEG FOR DELIVERANCE FROM DAMNATION!"
They all dropped to their knees and begged for forgiveness, weeping and bawling.
Long John calmed down long enough to roll his eyes.
"There," he said. "You're forgiven."
They all began to weep even more.
"NOW UNTIE ME! AND LET'S! GO! FIND! THE TREASURE!!"
They all ran to untie him.
Zero began to hug him.
"Oh, you are a good man!" he cried. "You are a kind man! You're a handsome man!"
"Precious," Bucky whispered.
"Oh! And you're precious!" Zero continued.
"Beautiful."
"And he's beautiful!"
It was almost morning now. The sun was beginning to come up.
Calvin and Hobbes were leading Jim back to the longboat they'd used, only to find that the natives had destroyed it.
"Oh great!" Calvin complained. "And we don't even have any insurance!"
"I don't think NationWide would cover savage islanders anyway," Hobbes grunted.
"Great," Jim sighed. "We're going to have to swim to the ship."
"Swim?" Hobbes demanded. "Swim to the ship that's infested with even more killer pirates?! I think not! I refuse to set foot in that water until a better plan comes along."
There was a brief pause.
Jim looked around and then saw something in the water.
"Look!" he gasped, pointing.
Calvin and Hobbes looked up, only to be completely gobsmacked.
Another longboat was rowing towards shore, and who else should be aboard but Sergeant Arrow!
"Yes," Sarge was saying. "The gunwale and keel are definitely safe."
They were overcome with joy and relief.
"Sergeant Arrow!" they shouted. "Over here! Help us!"
Sarge looked up in surprise and grinned.
"Oh, hey there, boys!" he shouted. "Come and join me on the exceptionally safe little boat!"
They ran over to him as he brought the boat ashore.
"By the way," he said, as Jim waded into the water. "That Silver guy may not be the most trustworthy man I've ever met."
"Yeah, no kidding," Hobbes snorted.
Captain Snoopy sat before Benjamina at her rock-made throne.
"Of all the backwater, no-class piles of sand in the ocean, you had to wash up on mine," she complained, sounding both angry and sad.
Snoopy shifted uncomfortably.
"Look, Benjamina, I just want you to know that I'm sorry," he said nervously.
"Sorry?!" Benjamina shouted. "Oh no you don't, Snoop! Sorry doesn't work here! You left me standing at the altar!"
Snoopy squirmed.
"Had a feeling that would come up," he muttered quietly.
"My mother came all the way from Pittsburgh! I was wearing her dress! The cake was filled with ice cream for crying out loud!"
Snoopy had to do something before she either started yelling or crying.
"Mina, what if fate brought us back together again?" he asked. "And if not fate, how about buried treasure and pirates?"
"Oh, don't start about pirates!" Benjamina grunted. "After you jilted me, I got together with some Captain Flint! The man was totally codependent."
Snoopy stared.
"You and Captain Flint?!" he cried.
"And do you know what he did?!"
"Um, he said it did make you look fat?"
"HE MAROONED ME HERE!"
And she immediately started weeping.
So, crying it was.
Snoopy tried to think of something, but nothing came to mind except what did.
"I'm so sorry," he said, hoping he sounded sincere this time.
Moments later, they heard the sounds of laughter.
It was cackling and mocking laughter.
Snoopy turned around nervously and saw…
…Long John and his pirates.
"Bravo, Cap'n!" Long John mocked.
The laughter continued as he approached them.
"Touchin' reunion, Benjamina," he hissed. "This seems to be yer day fer renewing old…acquaintances."
"Hey, Johnny," Benjamina said, glaring at him.
Snoopy jumped in surprise.
"What, him too?!" he cried.
"Well, if you'd just married me!"
"What's that got to do with it?!"
Their bickering continued until Long John got bored with it and pulled his gun.
"Now I'm not gonna be really patient, Benjamina," he growled. "Where is the treasure?"
Long John didn't notice the tribe gathering at the top of the ledge overlooking them.
Snoopy and Benjamina did.
"I…just may not tell you," she said decidedly.
Long John smirked.
"Oh, don't play games with me, lass," he chuckled. "I tell you, I'm not a patient man."
SHOOM!
A spear suddenly came in between, sticking itself into a rock.
The pirates gasped and looked up.
Spa'am was leading his troops.
"Stop! Give up now, weak and tiny pirate mans, or die like stinking dogs."
The tribes cheered in agreement.
Long John fired a single shot from his gun.
BLAM!
The feathery hat that Spa'am was wearing exploded off of his head.
There was a pause as colored feathers floated to the ground.
"Hmmmm," he said. "We see you have boom-boom sticks."
He thought about this.
"Bye-bye," he said.
And the tribes ran off, shouting and whimpering.
Benjamina sighed in annoyance, covering her face.
"Oh, brother," she groaned.
"Now, Benjamina," Long John said, aiming the gun back at her.
"What?"
"Where's the treasure?"
She looked at him.
"There is no treasure!" she said, promptly using Snoopy as a shield. "It was a trick!"
"Then where did you get that gold necklace you're wearing? The one made of Spanish Doubloons?"
Benjamina's mind raced for an idea.
"Uh…Shopping Channel?" she suggested.
Long John glared.
Then he burst out laughing.
They all started laughing.
After a minute of this, Long John grabbed Snoopy by the collar.
The Hispaniola continued to wait for the Captain, whoever it may be, to return. Until then, the pirates were sprawled about the deck, doing menial things and chattering.
Down below, being careful not to be seen, Jim, Calvin, Hobbes and the Sarge found a way in through a cannon hatch. As quietly as they could, they slid inside the ship.
Still tied to a post, Dr Garfield, Odie and Squire Satchel continued to struggle with the ropes.
Squire Satchel looked at his finger angrily.
"Why not make yourself useful?!" he demanded at Mr Bimbo. "Why don't you save us? DO SOMETHING!!"
A hand slapped over his mouth.
It was Jim.
"Oh, finally!" Dr Garfield whispered. "Twelve hours of Eye Spy and one hour of struggling really makes one famished."
"Bark!" Odie said, giving Calvin a big wet slurp.
"Ick!" Calvin cried. "Stop it!"
"I should've let him live in my finger," Squire Satchel said, glaring at his own finger.
Jim poked his head through the hatch from the galley to see the pirates sitting idly. He then ducked back down to check on the others.
"Well?" he asked.
"All set, Jim," Dr Garfield said. He was holding powder puff in his paw.
"Do you really think this'll work, Dr Garfield?" he asked.
"You bet, kid. According to recent polls, a majority of pirates are very superstitious."
Odie nodded in agreement.
"What's that mean?" Satchel asked.
"It means most pirates are idiots," Dr Garfield explained.
"Oh, good!"
They had covered the Sarge in white powder and seaweed, and he was now slowly going up the stairs.
The pirates looked up and stared at him in shock.
"Boogie, boogie, and boogie!" he said in a deep voice. "I am the ghost of Sergeant Arrow!"
There was a dramatic pause as the pirates were frozen with fear.
"BOOGIE!" he shouted.
"AAAAAAGGGHHH!!"
The pirates screamed and hollered as they ran for safety, and they finally all jumped overboard.
SPLASH!
Now in control of the ship once again, Calvin, Hobbes, Jim, Dr Garfield, Odie and Squire Satchel ran back up onto the deck.
"Come on! We've gotta save the captain!" Jim cried.
As they congratulated Sarge, Calvin stepped forward.
"So what do we do now? Jim?" he asked. "What's your verdict? Got the cure for the Common Pirate?"
Jim paused to think.
"Weigh anchor?" he asked.
"Weigh anchor!" Sarge shouted, cleaning himself off.
Calvin and Hobbes set to work.
"Set the sails!" Jim continued, now more confident.
"Set the sails!" Sarge added.
Dr Garfield and Odie set to work at that.
Jim then turned to Squire Satchel.
"And you, Squire Satchel," he said sternly.
Squire Satchel thought he was going to berate him about hiring a bunch of pirates.
"Now, now, Master Hawkins, I didn't know that…"
"You take the helm."
Squire Satchel stopped squirming and grinned.
"Oh! Ha, ha! Yes, sir! Step aside, Mr Bimbo!" he said, talking to his finger as he headed for the helm.
Calvin and Hobbes ran to a sideways wheel and began to run around, pushing the handle, trying to bring the anchor up.
"Hurry, Hobbes!" Calvin cried. "Lives are at stake!"
"I'm hurrying!" Hobbes replied, pushing with all this might.
And they sailed onward.