Collide
By Smiggers
Fate's POV
The sky was tainted with a pinkish hue, its intensity increasing with each passing minute until the burst of orange as the sun emerged from the horizon, laying its claim on the blue skies once more. The room was still dark, the first rays of the sun having yet to penetrate through the flimsy curtains. You were still in a peaceful slumber, your breathing shallow with a contented smile on your beautiful features.
I studied your face in the darkness; hardly needing light for my eyes had long adjusted to the dimness. Time had slowed to a sluggish crawl and a huge part of me wished it would remain this way forever. I would give anything for a moment longer to watch you sleep.
Your legs were tangled with mine beneath the sheets, your left arm draped around my waist as your right was nestled against your front. I could distinctly feel the warmth radiating from your bare body pressed against mine.
Raising my right hand, I ran my fingers through the silky chestnut tresses, silently marveling at the softness of each strand. I tried to memorize the feeling of your hair trickling through my fingers, fluid like liquid. A memory could never be as detailed as reality.
Still, I will try. It would be the only part of you that I can carry in my heart.
Removing my hand from your hair, I lifted the sheets and took in the perfect form of your body that was laid bare to my eyes. Once again, like all the other times before, I was speechless. You do that to me a lot, did you know that? You take my breath away yet at the same time, you were like oxygen to me. I allowed my eyes to trail down your body, memorizing every curve and contour. I longed to feel your smooth and supple skin beneath my fingertips; I hunger for the taste of you. Yet I knew if I touched you, you would wake in an instant.
You were like a drug. My drug.
And I was hopelessly addicted.
Regretfully, I replaced the comforter, pulling it up till it was covering your shoulders. I was afraid that you might catch a cold without my body next to yours. Carefully untangling my legs that yours were latched onto, I slid away from you.
"Fate..." You murmured and I froze.
Surveying your serene features, I realized that you were still asleep and had uttered my name unconsciously. Yet that thought unsettled me. Even asleep, you were still thinking about me.
I was afraid. So afraid now that I knew I was constantly on your mind.
Carefully, I tried not to rock the bed too much as I half crawled to my feet. It wouldn't do to wake you after all. I searched around for my clothes that were strewn about our bedroom. Dressing quietly, I could not stop my mind from straying.
We were on a collision course from the very beginning. From our very first meeting, we had collided. Like two very different individuals, we had clashed countless times, each time supposedly pushing us further apart, yet somehow, they only made us closer. You were like an angel, her wings broken, who had fallen into the arms of someone who did not know how to cherish you and love you the way you should be.
I was selfish. I wanted to protect myself from the heartbreak that was imminent.
Supporting my weight on my palm against the mattress, I leaned towards your sleeping form. Pressing my lips against yours, I tried to commit that feeling to memory.
"I love you, Nanoha. I will always love you."
Stepping back swiftly, I left the bedroom that we had shared. Never once turning back or steal another glance at your slumbering form. My chest tightened and my heart constricted painfully. I was hardly out the door and my entire being felt like it was shattering into a billion fragments.
Personally, I hated goodbyes. Each one never fails to drag on to an unbearable eternity whenever I had to leave you. This one was worse. Each word, each thought, they hurt so badly that I just wanted to simply forget it all and stay by your side. But I couldn't. Doing so would only cause unnecessary pain to the both of us.
'Goodbye.'
A tear slid silently down my cheek and I clenched my fists tightly by my side to control the flood of emotions. Pulling the wooden door shut behind me, I hesitated by the doorframe for a few seconds.
'What if I'd never see your face again?'
Summoning up my will, I pushed off the door-frame and stepped forward. A step further away from you.
The tears flowed freely now, even as I hid my true emotions behind a stoic mask.
(This is where the story really starts.)
Team GEMINI
Nameless: The Physical Attraction
Book 1
When The Unstoppable Force Collides With The Immovable Object
Chapter 14
Do You Feel Better Now?
Nanoha moved out of the apartment she shared with Fate, it was too expensive and just too painful to continue residing in. She had stayed in the apartment till the end of the month in hopes that Fate would change her mind and come back home to her, but no such luck smiled down upon Nanoha.
The letter that Fate had left remained unopened to this day, but there were many occasions where Nanoha was tempted to open it. The small opening in the top left corner was anxiously picked at, whereas the right corner was completely torn off. Even the tip of the envelope flap was no matched against Nanoha's impatient picking; Hayate had to literally tear the letter out of Nanoha's grasp to make her stop. It was there that Nanoha had broken down, the knowledge that Fate would probably never come back to her finally settled in.
Hayate had stayed by Nanoha's side through the whole break up process. The short haired brunette even called their best friends who lived abroad to come back at least for some time. When Arisa and Suzuka heard the message from Hayate, they booked their private jet and flew out the very same day. They arrived at Hayate's house without any further notice and knocked on the door. They were greeted by a baggy eyed, gangly haired, jittery Carim Gracia who looked like she was about to snap at any second. The usually calm, serene, and easy going British woman looked about ready to maul the next thing to walk by her mercilessly.
"What happened to you?" Suzuka gasped out. She walked up to Carim and placed cupped the older woman's face with both hands. "Have you been getting laid regularly, Sweetie? You look horrible."
"Aha, Suzuka are you crazy?" Arisa snickered. "Hayate not wanting sex? Hyeah, that's a good one."
"No, she is right," Carim confessed with an elongated sigh. "Ever since Nanoha and her girlfriend separated, she has been staying at my place, and Hayate has been so busy trying to comfort her, there just was not enough time in her schedule for such an act."
Arisa and Suzuka were speechless.
"Wow, the Saint has become a sex addict." Arisa muttered with a cheeky grin. "Only Hayate can turn a total nun into a whor—"
Smiling daintily, Carim said, "I am going to pretend I did not hear that just now." Arisa sunk her head into her shoulders and laughed nervously, the frightening gaze Carim sent her way caused shivers to crawl up her spine. "Please ladies, right this way." Carim said as she stepped aside, her arm gesturing the two women into her house.
Arisa and Suzuka entered the Gracia house hold and took their shoes off. Carim took their coats and place them onto the coat rack near the door way. She then led the two women over to the bedroom where the broken Nanoha resided in. They took a large spiraling staircase up to the second level of the house, Nanoha's voice becoming louder as they neared the destined room.
"Wow, that girl really has a good set of pipes on her..." Arisa mumbled with an astonished whistle. The blonde crossed her arms and smirked at the dark haired girl beside her and said, "You think she'll be surprised to see us?"
"Hm, probably. Hayate-chan told me she was keeping our arrival secret from her." Suzuka replied with a finger on her cheek and her elbow resting in the palm of her hand. "I wonder how she's holding up."
"Yeah," Arisa mumbled sadly, her eyes filling with turmoil. "If I ever meet this 'Fate' bitch, I am going to tear her apart and rip her to shreds."
"Now, now, calm down Arisa-chan." Suzuka said with a reassuring pat on the other's back. "I'm sure whoever this "Fate" is, she must have had a reason to why she broke up with Nanoha-chan."
Arisa stopped walking, her eyes hidden by her bangs. There was a growing scowl on Arisa's face when she said, "There is no excuse to breaking up with Nanoha. She's the sweetest girl on Earth!" Suzuka faked a smile and nodded her head, her feelings were obviously hurt.
The dark haired, violet eyed girl remained silent for the rest of the walk, only speaking with Carim about the little things in life.
"I can believe she fucking dumped me, Hayate!" Nanoha screamed angrily. "That ungrateful little twat!" She grabbed hold of the pillow she had strangled in her other hand, threw it across the room and right into Carim's surprised face.
Silence.
"I am... so sorry."
Silence.
"Carim-chan, I am really sorry..."
Silence.
"Ca-"
"Do that one more time and you are out of my house." Carim growled motioning towards the door.
A shush fell over the room faster than the pillow that fell to the tall blonde haired woman's feet. Hayate shivered at her wife's cold words and frowned at the woman who she exchanged vows with. Tranquil blue eyes sharpened into fierce dark blue and well shaped blonde eye brows furrowed together angrily.
"That was really unnecessary, Carim." Hayate murmured angrily, her arms encircling around Nanoha's shoulders. "Nanoha-chan is going through a really tough time, why can't you understand? Also if you keep glaring like that you'll get wrinkles."
"I can understand, Hayate. I have been understanding this whole bloody time!" Carim exploded angrily. She marched up to her wife and stared down the woman she loved. "Your friend has been here for a whole month! A whole bloody month okay? She got dumped, we get it, but was she not going to leave her also? And leave my wrinkles out of this."
"Er..." Nanoha mumbled awkwardly
"See my point? She is crying over something she was going to do herself eventually." Carim said sternly. "Nanoha, I love you, really I do, but you are literally driving me crazy. You have spent a whole month crying over her, when you could have been out and about trying to forget about your pain."
"B-But-"
Carim took a calming breath and sat down beside the crying brunette, "No buts Nanoha, you have to stop drowning yourself in self pity." Carim hugged Nanoha tightly and kissed the girl on her left temple. "Plus, you are too pretty to be moping around like you just got divorced."
"Thank you," Nanoha shyly smiled at Carim, a soft pink gracing her cheeks. "And really sorry about that pillow."
"All is forgiven, Love." Carim chuckled. "And I am sorry about yelling at you like that, but you were really, and excuse my language but, you were really pissing me off."
A soft knock on the door brought everyone's attention over to Arisa and Suzuka who stood at the door way with awkward smiles on their faces.
"Hey, how you holdin' up Nanoha?" Arisa asked with wave of her hand.
Suzuka ran up to Nanoha and wrapped her arms around the other woman, holding her tightly, "You honestly look like crap, Nanoha-chan."
"Yeah, I know..." Nanoha replied with a sigh.
Nanoha took a moment to regain some composure, before looking at her friends seriously. She knew she was a real mess, jer hair was dull and dry, and it wasn't that vibrant copper color that it once was; now it had a potato like hue. Her eyes were blood shot and puffy from the late nights and all the crying over Fate's departure. Nanoha had strained her eyes reading the tear stained and scribbled letter many times, but even now she could barely decipher what was blurred by the tears. Her skin was pale and her nose red from her sniffling, as Suzuka had said, Nanoha did indeed look like... crap.
The group of friends sat around the table quietly as they enjoyed a simple meal prepared by Carim. Even though Hayate and Carim were extremely wealthy in their own rights, they wanted to live a simple peaceful life together. No maids or butlers to cater and tend to their needs, they lived in a simple house (basement, main floor, second floor, and attic) with a pretty little flower garden in the front yard, and a stunning little home farm in the back; however, the married couple did have some rather expensive cars to drive around town—well Hayate did at least. Carim was the proud owner of a powder blue Toyota Prius, while Hayate drove a big and burly silver GM Hummer H2. When Hayate had purchased her vehicle, she told Nanoha that the only reason why she would buy such a sexy gas guzzler was because she wanted to compensate for her height. No one would have expected that a 5ft 2" woman would be driving such a monstrosity, let alone be able to get inside of it without a ladder.
"So, Nanoha-chan, why don't we try to decipher Fate's letter one more time?" Hayate suggested with a mouth full of rice, her chopsticks were still in her mouth as she spoke.
"No talking with your mouth full dear." Carim piped up with a playful smile. The tall blonde haired woman seemed to be in brighter spirits now, but she still seemed a little antsy when left to her own devices.
"Sorry," Hayate swallowed her food and opened her mouth showing Carim that she had finished her food. Giggling, Carim nodded her head and continued eating her food. "Anyways, let's try it again? With Suzuka-chan and Arisa-chan here, we can probably figure some more stuff out."
Nanoha looked at her chocolate haired friend and smiled at her uneasily. "I don't know. The letter is getting pretty worn out." Nanoha explained as she pulled the letter out from her pocket. She handed it over to Arisa, who shared it with Suzuka. The two silently stared at the page and frowned. "We figured a few parts out, but it's a little hard."
"Yeah, she must have been crying a lot! Just look at all of these smudges..." Suzuka gasped quietly when her fingers trailed over the tried tears that marred the graying piece of paper.
"That girl must've really liked you, Nanoha." Arisa comment as her eyes darted back and forth, reading the letter. "No doubt about it, she loved you."
"Loved... not love?" Nanoha mused sadly.
Arisa froze and regretted her own stupidity. She waved her hand in front of her and said, "N-No, she loves you! Why wouldn't she love you? You're an amazing g-girl! I mean I'd be damned lucky if I had you were my girl—... that is, but I don't want you as my girl! Ahaha pfft, me wanting you as my girlfriend! Aha, I would have a dea-"
"Arisa-chan, you can stop talking now." Suzuka said quietly, her eyes cast away from the loud mouth blonde to the lively little ficus that sat in the corner. "Anyways let's start piecing this thing together."
Dear, Nanoha
Thank you for all you have done for me, I appreciate it. I don't know how to thank you enough, but knowing me I wouldn't be able say a word without stuttering. You do that to me you know? You cause my heart to beat uncontrollably, and sometimes I think that my heart will stop in all whenever I look at you. You make my hand tremble and my mouth to go dry. Sometimes I think to myself, "Wow, I must have been a some kind of hero to receive such good karma". I believe that I'm the luckiest idiot to walk this Earth whenever I'm-... (Fate had scribbled this portion out, her tears smudging the letter even further)
Nanoha, I really do believe that you're a-... -and my life would-... -sly.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up a second here!" Arisa shouted with her hand raised up in the air. "This line right here, 'Nanoha I really do believe you're a' a what? A bitch?" Arisa said with a forced laugh. The brunette in question remained quiet and pulled the letter away from Arisa. "Hey, I wasn't done reading that yet!"
"You are now," Nanoha growled, shoving the piece of folded paper back into her pocket. "Look, let's just forget about the stupid letter okay? I know have to move on and forget about Fate-chan one way or another, and this letter is holding me up."
"Wait… 'chan'?" Arisa stiffened up. "You still use 'chan' when referring to her?" asked Arisa as she seethed jealously.
"Why shouldn't I?" Nanoha replied quickly defending the honorific she attached to her former lover's name.
"She broke your heart, Nanoha," Arisa exclaimed, standing up abruptly and slamming her hands down onto the table. "What more reason do you have to drop it!?"
"I still love her!"
"She left you!"
"I was going to leave her too!" Nanoha shouted back, taking the same stance as Airisa did. "This was a semi-mutual break up between the two of us, but I still love her deeply."
Tears began to prick Arisa's eyes as Nanoha defended her love for the younger woman. She sunk back into her chair and placed her head on the table, her arms wraps wrapping around her head to conceal it from Nanoha's angry gaze. Quiet sniffles were heard, but Arisa's voice was firm, "If you're so confident it was a mutual break up, why are you still whining and bitching over her?"
It was Nanoha's turn to sink into her chair now. She looked towards Hayate for emotional support and found it when the shorter brunette smiled back at her. "Because, I wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet." she confessed in a hushed whisper.
"..." Arisa looked up at Nanoha and frowned.
The two friends remained silent even though they both wanted to apologize. Taking a tentative sip from her glass of water and setting it back down, Carim reached out for her wife's hand and gave it a small squeeze. They locked eyes and exchanged brief smiles; the two didn't need long words to tell each other what they were thinking. It was more a matter of trust than knowing exactly what was going on, that trust was what expressed the most accurate translation of what the other thought or felt. Right now Carim knew Hayate was sorry for neglecting her, and in vice versa, Hayate knew that Carim forgave her.
Suzuka tapped her finger in a 4/4 beat, her mind wandering from her friend's broken heart to her other friend's aching heart. She hated to admit it, but she knew full well that Arisa had feelings for Nanoha, and if she had the chance, Arisa would ask her out. A small grin appeared on her lips, because she knew that chance would never happen. This gave Suzuka a slightly twisted pleasure, the girl she loved would never have a chance with the girl she loved. All was fair in the world at this moment or at least in her mind.
Hayate grinned playfully as her fingers interlacing with her wife's. "I got an idea Nanoha-chan, let's go clubbing tonight!" Hayate's blue eyes sparkled mischievously in anticipation.
"How about no."
Not one to be rejected, Hayate mumbled to herself, "Maybe we can find you a raven haired girl or something."
"Why a raven haired girl?" Arisa asked, suddenly interested in the conversation.
"Just imagine diving into their warm, moist black forest cake and tasting their cherry filling—..." Hayate looked blissful when she imaged a curvaceous dark haired woman. "Yummy."
"Ew," Carim muttered, disgusted by her wife's perverted analogy. "I am never buying that cake for you ever again."
"Nyahaha," Nanoha laughed nervously. "Thanks but no thanks on the cake Hayate-chan. I'm into blondes."
"You stay away from my wife, you horn dog." Hayate growled. "Don't think I haven't noticed you checking her out!"
"Hey that's no fair! You stared at my jail bait."
"Fate-chan is good looking, it isn't illegal to stare."
Nanoha grinned, "Then I can stare at Carim-chan all I want too!"
"But she's my wife!" Hayate threw her arms around Carim and hugged the other woman tightly. "My property!"
"And Fate-chan was mine!"
"She isn't your wife!"
"I was going to properly propose to her again when she became legal."
Silence.
Hayate blinked multiple times before gasping out in surprise, "You were going to ask her to marry you!?" She stood up and crossed her arms, "And you wouldn't stop going on about breaking up with her? Nanoha, please explain. What are you really thinking?"
"Fate turns sixteen in a few months; I already asked her to marry me and she said yes, but I was going to ask her again just to make sure if she wouldn't mind putting up with me for the rest of her life." Nanoha explained rather dull tone. "I never was going to break up with her unless she firmly told me that her dream of being a musician was more important than me."
"Ahaha," Arisa laughed slowly, her voice sounding a little strained. "If Fate had half a brain, she would have chosen you rather than music."
"Fate did choose me over music," Nanoha said. "It's just… I don't think I can live with the guilt of keeping her from her dream."
"Wow, you two are like perfect for each other." Suzuka said with a bemused smile. "You're making this way too complicated for your own good Nanoha-chan." Standing up, Suzuka walked over to Nanoha and gave the girl a quick bop on the head. "So instead of just sitting here crying about her, why don't we go look for her? She can't have gotten too far."
"It's been a month since we broke up Suzuka-chan, Fate-chan would have a new girlfriend by now." Nanoha replied sadly. "She's still young; things like finding a new plaything will be too easy for her."
"Are you forgetting that you aren't that old yourself?"
Nanoha gave Suzuka a disbelieving shake of her head and said, "I'm twenty-five years old, I have a daughter who is living with her father because she walked in on me and my underage lover having sex. I work as a high school Biology teacher. I'm not exactly what you call grade A girlfriend material."
"I don't see a problem with you, Nanoha." Arisa said with a grin.
"I don't either, I do however see a twenty-five year old pedophile who hasn't been outside in nearly a month." commented Hayate with a slight frown. "You need to go outside girlfriend, and now. I mean it, you stink."
Wrapping her arms around Nanoha's neck, Suzuka said, "Come on Nanoha-chan, there isn't any harm in looking for her. You need to know where she is."
"Yeah, you're right, but where to start?"
"Did you try calling her?" Suzuka suggested.
"Yep, number's been deactivated."
Walking back to her chair, Suzuka crossed her arms and pondered. "How about her school?"
"I've personally checked that one. Her mother pulled her out of my school saying that Fate needed more of a challenge." Carim sighed and looked towards Hayate. "She didn't tell me where she took her though."
"Oh..."
"Wait how do you know?" Arisa asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"I'm headmistress of the TSAB Girl's Junior High school; the school Fate goes to... well went to." Carim explained calmly, but Arisa on the other hand didn't.
"Junior High!?" Arisa screamed in surprise.
"Yes, now will you sit down!" Hayate barked back.
"Love, I believe it is your turn to sit down now." Carim said back with a soothing hand on her wife's back, stroking her to get the spunky short haired brunette to calm down. "There, there, good girl."
"Sorry about that Carim," Hayate apologized with a sheepish grin.
Nanoha tried her best to smile and laugh it off. She knew what her friends were trying to do and she was grateful for it, but it was starting to get kind of weird. "It's okay you guys, really. Let's go do that club thing Hayate-chan suggested. I think I really might need to get out and start my life up again."