Chapter Sixteen: Reid is NOT a Playboy Bunny

A/N: THREE THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME:

1) I'm not above poo jokes.

2) I ship Rossi/Strauss even though I would never read FF about it.

3) I know that a sex scene can make or break a fiction... so I hope I didn't fuck it up. (lol, get it? A sex scene. Fucking. Fucking up. God, I'm corny.)

Love,

Azul Oleandar

Rossi's voice rang out from behind the door, as Strauss giggled, "Hey, little girl. What is a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

She said with a quick laugh, "Stop playing around, Dave."

Rossi whispered under his breath, "I thought you liked it when I played around."

Derek made a gagging face and Spencer held in his laughter, pressing his hand against his mouth to suppress a chuckle. Even though he and Garcia had an inkling that the two agents were also sneaking around, it was more of a joke than an actual hypothesis. Sure, Spencer was trapped in a handicapped stall with Derek, two of his superiors on the other side of the door, and a tissue full of come, but hell. All he could think of was how much he wanted to tell Garcia what he'd just discovered.

Strauss's giggle came out again and there was a quiet thumping noise as if something was leaning onto a wall. Then there were kissing noises. And small moans. Derek looked like he was about to throw up, and Spencer, frozen underneath him was biting his lips to keep himself from bursting out laughing. They just had to wait it out. They'll be gone soon, right? Right?!

Rossi spoke quietly, "Wanna take this to the handicapped stall?"

Spencer's eyes widened and he locked eyes with Derek. Fuck.

"Sure, why not?" Strauss said with a slimy slick to her voice.

Spencer shook his head over and over again, yanking Derek over to the open toilet seat. He stood onto one side and crouched, Derek crouching up onto the other side so that their feet weren't visible to their superiors. Good thing they locked the door. Spencer's heart was pounding in his chest as the couple walked toward the door. The handle jiggled, and Rossi murmured, "Shit. It's locked."

Strauss hissed quietly, "Do you think someone is in there?"

"No. I didn't hear anything," Rossi said, crouching to peer underneath the stall. Spencer prayed and prayed that he wouldn't see them. Please, please, please. Rossi stood up and sighed, "No one's here."

Derek pressed his hand to his own chest and breathed out soundlessly.

Then the sound of a pocket knife flicked out. Shit. He's going to pick the lock. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Rossi's knife scraped against the side of the door and Strauss's voice rang out quickly, "You know what, forget it. I have a meeting soon anyway."

The knife flipped back closed and Rossi complained, "Come on, Erin. Please?"

Derek rolled his eyes and pretended to stick his finger into his mouth. Spencer stifled and chuckle and the couple backed away from the door. They made another, long, gross sounding kissing noise and the sound of heels clicking out of the room was finally heard. Rossi sighed and knocked onto the door, "Morgan, I know you're in there. Come on out."

Derek paused, not making any immediate noise.

Rossi replied, "I don't have time for this, Morgan. I already know it's you."

Derek said quietly, "How did you know?"

"You suck at the quiet game." Rossi countered, "Plus, I heard you gagging just now."

Derek swore, "Fine. You caught me. Whatever. I'm not coming out regardless."

Rossi laughed, "Why not?"

Derek paused, "None of your damned business."

"I think I can handle it, Morgan," Rossi retorted.

"Alright. Since you want to know so bad, I have explosive diarrhea and I used this bathroom in convenience to everyone else because it is a fucking mess in here." Derek lied. Spencer slammed his hand across his lips as his back threatened to quake with laughter. Diarrhea? Really? Derek was a genius sometimes.

Rossi coughed and quickly replied, "Oh, God, Morgan. You don't have to give me the details. Do you want the day off?"

"No!" Derek said with a shake of his head, holding back a smile, "I'm fine, I just… oh! Oh, God! Here it comes!" Derek made a farting sound with his mouth, moving his hand between himself and his boyfriend and signaling to Spencer that he wanted him to continue doing that. Spencer shook his head 'no', and Derek gave him a pleading look.

Rossi took a few steps back, "That sounds awful."

Spencer hid his face in his hands and pushed air between his fingers loudly as Derek replied with a moan of distress, "It's terrible. Have you ever shit like this, Rossi? It changes a man, I swear. You might want to clear out. You're in the splash zone."

"Jesus, Morgan! Too much information!" Rossi said, heading to the door, "I'll… uh, I'll see you later."

Derek grimaced, "Whew, that was intense!"

"Oh, and about me and Strauss…" Rossi started.

"I won't say a word. I'm too busy—ugh!—in here," Derek groaned as Spencer made another noise, "Oh, Lord, here it is again! It's just falling out of me!"

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving!" Rossi said quickly, the door slamming behind him. Spencer erupted into a torrent of quiet laughter.

Derek chuckled, "Trust me, diarrhea is always the way to go. No one ever questions it, because it's just that gross."

Spencer breathed, stepping down from the toilet, "How did you know that would make him leave?"

Derek shrugged with a smile as he stepped down beside Spencer, "What can I say? I'm good at getting people out of my face."

Spencer chuckled, "Apparently so."

Derek kept leaving his desk for the rest of the afternoon purely to mess with Rossi's head. He would suddenly stop working on a file and then rush out of the bullpen. Spencer kept looking up to see Rossi's face, which was a look of pure terror and disgust, and hid his laughter behind his desk. Since Rossi was sure that no one else in the office knew of Derek's "raging bowel issues", he made sure not to talk about it. He just kept shooting knowing glances toward Derek every time he left. Once, Derek even disappeared for a half hour just to freak him out. When he finally walked back into the office, Derek was carrying a wet hand towel and wiped it across his face, sitting down with a wince before getting up and hurrying back out of the room. Spencer was nearly stabbing himself in the leg with a pencil to keep from laughing, and by the time the day had gone out, Prentiss was worried.

She walked up to Spencer's desk and asked, glancing over at Derek whom was working at his cubicle, "…is Derek okay?"

Spencer nearly burst out laughing as he opened his mouth to answer her. He motioned Emily closer and whispered, "He told Rossi that he has explosive diarrhea, so he keeps pretending to go to the bathroom."

Prentiss hissed, "That's so gross."

Spencer was doubled over laughing, getting the attention of a few interns as he replied, "It's the funniest thing I've ever seen, I swear to God. His face alone."

Prentiss shushed him, "Come on, Spence. How old are you?"

Spencer gasped out, "Thirty two years, two months, and seven days."

She rolled her eyes and marched back to her desk, shaking her head, "Boys."

As the last few agents poured out, Rossi stopped Derek, clapped his hand on his shoulder and gave him a small tin of pills before leaving. Derek waited for Rossi to leave before walking up to Spencer's desk, "He bought it! We are so good!"

Spencer shook his head, "I take no ownership for that scheme. It's all you."

Derek held up his palm with a wide grin, "I at least get a high five for it, right? I mean, come on. I saved both of our asses back there."

Spencer leaned in and whispered quietly under the voices of the tired, cleaning interns, "You'll get a lot more than that tonight."

Derek raised his eyebrows, "Word?"

Spencer chuckled, "Word."

"Please don't say that. It's just not right." Derek stated.

Spencer shrugged and explained, "Actually, 'word' is a shortened form of the phrase 'my word is my bond' which was originally used by inmates in U.S. prisons. The longer phrase was shortened to 'word is bond' before becoming 'word,' which is how it is most commonly active. It basically means 'to speak the truth'. So as you ask me 'word', you are asking if I speak the truth, and by replying 'word' as well, I am confirming that I am. Although… since it began as jail talk, it probably is unbecoming of both of us to use the phrase since we're both working for the government, not just me."

Derek paused a moment before announcing, "I am so horny right now."

"Have you ever considered that you're sapiosexual?" Spencer blushed, turning to shove papers into his bag and roll his eyes.

Derek asked, "What's a 'sapiosexual'?"

"A person who's sexually attracted to intelligence and the use of it," Spencer buckled his bag shut, joking aloud, "You know, since you're so lacking in that department, it might seem nice to stave some of it off of someone whom has an overabundance."

Instead of retorting with something clever, however, Derek lowered his hand down to slap him sharply on the rear. A few interns looked up at the noise, but Spencer was already turned around, hissing quietly, "Slap my ass one more time! I fucking dare you!"

Derek leaned back with a terrified look on his face.

"I hate it when you do that, it makes me feel like an object! Do I look like a Playboy Bunny to you?" Spencer growled.

Derek shook his head quickly.

Spencer mumbled as he continued to stuff pencils into the back pocket of the satchel.

A mousy, brown haired intern walked by pushing a cart and Derek stopped her with a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Help."

She looked up at him in awe, seeing as BAU members don't often converse with the bumbling hopefuls, "Oh, m-my God, you're talking to me? I... yes. Sure! What do you need, Agent Morgan?"

Derek whimpered and looked over at Spencer, "He beats me, Pretty Girl. It's terrible."

"Oh, okay. I get it," she intern began to laugh and shook her head, continuing on with the cart, "Good night, agents."

Spencer glared at Derek and he turned, pointing at him, "You missed it! Look! He's a demon, I swear!"

Spencer leaned over and whispered to Derek, "You see that? In that cart? There goes the sex we were going to have tonight. When you stopped her, you put it in and wheeled it away."

Derek whispered back, "What?"

Spencer whispered to him, "Yep. I was planning on using all kinds of Physics; it was going to be hot. Oh, well."

"Physics?" Derek asked hopefully.

Spencer shrugged, "Yeah. Translational motion/frictional force type shit. I mean, I was about to go AP on you. Too bad."

Derek raised his palms in surrender, "Wait, no, Reid. That ain't fair."

Spencer began to walk out of the bullpen without responding. After a moment or so, Derek trailed him, begging, "Wait, Reid. Please! I'll change! I promise!" Spencer stepped into an elevator and as Derek tried to walk in to join him, Spencer stopped him with a hand and closed the sliding doors with the press of a button. Spencer loved being the more in depth thinker of the two of them. He was already withholding sex and they haven't even had it yet. Spencer chuckled to himself. That had to change. Spencer was ready, and by now, he was just tired of waiting. He knew Derek wanted it; he just had to find the right way to sneak it on him. Although Derek doesn't know it, Spencer now has the upper hand. And, boy, is he going to use it. Derek had no clue what he had in store for tonight.

Spencer knocked on Derek's door, and after a long string of barking from his huge dog, the door opened, stopped at the lock as a very tired Derek peered through the cracked open door. Derek's eyebrows furrowed and he ran his hand down his face tiredly. He groaned, "Spence, it's three in the morning. What are you doing here?"

The doctor smiled quietly and asked, "May I come in?"

"Well, yeah. I'm not going to let you freeze," Derek said, as a dark snout wiggled between the door and the wall, "Just give me a second to get pants on and put Clooney up."

Spencer nodded, "I'll wait."

Derek shut the door quickly. Spencer sighed at the thought of Derek answering the door without pants on, wondering quietly if his boyfriend slept naked before waiting the few moments it took for the agent to get prepared. Quickly, Derek opened the door, wincing at the light on his front steps, "Come on in, man. Sorry it's a bit of a mess in here."

Spencer walked in, happily accepting the bits and pieces out of place that weren't there the last time he was. A half empty glass of water was sitting on the living room table, a leash was draped across the couch and several newspapers were laid down on the other side of the living room wall. Spencer looked up at it to see large, fluid, yellow strokes of paint across the red wall. There was a pattern emerging, but for now it was most definitely unfinished.

"I didn't know you painted," Spencer said.

Derek shrugged, yawning his reply, "I do it sometimes. Me and my friends from Chicago used to tag stuff when I was in high school. Now it's just something I do when I've got the time on my hands to legally... what… the fuck are you wearing?"

Spencer stepped slowly closer to Derek, letting his hands fall on his boyfriend's bare chest before leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips. Derek paused at first, not expecting that slow, sultry reaction to the question, and returned the kiss after a moment. By then, Spencer had pulled away. There was a raise to the side of Spencer's lips before he ran his fingertips across Derek's cheek, "See for yourself." Spencer had adorned himself in a long, tight collared trench coat that fell to his ankles. While the outfit was a tad quiet, he didn't seem to even be wearing shoes. Last but not least, his face was relaxed into a sneer full of undisclosed knowledge. Derek paused, "Is it alright if I don't know what's going on?"

Spencer nodded, moving even closer to Derek and breathing lightly when Derek's arms folded around him instantaneously, "Eventually, you'll figure it out." Before his Derek could even give a proper reply, Spencer pressed another kiss to Derek's lips, letting it linger as they tasted each other. Derek breathed as they separated, "Wh-what's up, Spencer, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Spencer replied, reaching up to unbutton the top of his coat, hands moving down and down until it fell from his lithe body. Derek wet his lips and stared over the top of Spencer's head, refusing to make eye contact with his body before murmuring, "You're naked, aren't you?"

He nodded quietly, "Yep."

"Get the fuck over here," Derek pulled Spencer close and began to ravish his mouth in kiss after kiss. Spencer's chest heaved as it made connection with Derek's and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Derek's hands traveled down Spencer's bare back and ran over miles and miles of skin as if he had waited years to touch it, lightly caressing Spencer past his hips and paused before settling onto a firm, round behind. He chuckled as Derek pushed him into a wall and peppered his neck in kisses, whispering into Spencer's ear, "Shit, I just knew you were a freak." Spencer replied by wrapping his legs around Derek's waist and whispering into his ear, "Dammit, we've tried too many times, and I'm getting tired of waiting—waiting for you to fuck me. You're gonna, right?"

"By hell or high fucking water, it's happening right now. I will take you on this goddamn wall if I have to. Ooh, you're gonna get it, boy, you're gonna get it so bad," Derek promised, shoving him down the wall and tonguing paths of kissed down Spencer's chest, "Jesus fuck, you taste good. I want you, man. I'm so hungry for you. Fuck, I've been craving you for so long."

Spencer chuckled, "You make me sound like cake after a crash diet."

Derek grabbed Spencer by the shoulders and looked into his eyes, "That's because you are cake, baby boy. You are cake."

Spencer asked confusedly, "What? Do you want to involve food in this? Because that's kind of kinky for my first time, but we can get some if you want it."

"At some point, you have to let me eat strawberry short cake off of your chest. Just saying, if we're going to do this, that has to happen and soon." Derek placed his hands at Spencer's waist, starting to carry him up the stairs and down a hallway.

"… I could be okay with that," Spencer replied with a shrug while Derek's arms tightened protectively around his waist, marching him into the bedroom as if he weighed nothing more than a baby doll. He rolled his bare hips against Derek's sweatpants impatiently, feeling the arousing cloth against him. Derek sat down and Spencer looked up at him, as perched him atop his lap. Derek ran a finger along the side of Spencer's face and smiled a bit as Spencer took it into his mouth and started to suck on it, "You're a closet freak, man, I swear to God. Where did all of this come from?"

"Thirty years of sexual frustration can do this to a guy, eventually, we just crack. That happened to me about five hours ago," Spencer shrugged, "Blame it on my suppressed psychosis, I did."

Derek laughed, "Will do, baby boy."

Spencer blushed, thanking the darkness of the room as it hid his rosy cheeks, "Thanks. I didn't want you to get turned off by my eagerness, but truthfully… I just want to get over with as quickly as possible, so if you could…" Spencer made a little whistling sound and scampered his fingers up Derek's chest.

"Well, wait just a second, mister," Derek said, lowering his now wet finger to trail down Spencer's neck, "You mean so much to me, man, seriously. Before we do anything, I want you to tell me something, and then I want to tell you something. Deal?"

Spencer groaned, "You're such a woman, Derek."

Derek glared at him before repeating, "Deal?"

Spencer sighed, "Deal."

"Are you actually, positively, 113% sure you want to do this?" Derek asked Spencer seriously, eyes trained on his.

Letting out a chuckle, Spencer grabbed Derek's hand and slipped it down under his thighs to meet a slick, stretched out hole, "I want this so badly that if you don't get a move on, I'm going to do it alone and make you watch."

"You are trying my patience, Spencer. I've calmed down for the express purpose of wanting this to be special, now listen to me before you ruin it for the both of us." Derek's eyes closed calmly for a second as Spencer quieted and asked him what it was he needed to hear. Leaning closer to Spencer and holding his hands into his much larger ones, Derek replied, "I don't 'kind of think' anything. I know that I'm in love with you, and I want you to know that. If we go through with this, it's because I love you and I want to be connected to you in any way I can. Your virginity is the most beautiful thing in the world, Spencer, protect it. I had mine taken from me by someone I didn't love... someone who didn't love me back, and I don't want that same thing to happen to you."

"You're so stupid," Spencer breathed before leaning in to close his lips over Derek's in several hard, passionate kisses, "I can't stop thinking about you and it physically hurts to be away. It scared me, and I didn't know what it was, so I ran a few tests on my blood and stress levels and turns out they've raised in oxytocin by a factor of three. Even my cerebral cortex is in love with you, Derek, and that's saying quite a lot. Right about now, it's gotten to the point where I have to be near you to feel sane. My virginity has been yours for years, I trust you, and I love you. So, for the second time today, you are going to take me, or I will tie you down and fuck you into the mattress myself."

Derek paused, "Can I take option number two?"

Spencer replied seriously, "You don't want me to do this myself; I've written out equations that will make you feel so good, it'll hurt for weeks."

Derek growled back at Spencer as he was shoved down onto the bed, a bare Spencer straddling him with an evil glint in his eye, "Fuck… I don't know what they are, but I assure you it's looking pretty nice right about now."

Spencer let out a grin and licked a stripe up Derek's neck, "Are you sure it is, because I show no mercy."

Derek murmured as Spencer slipped his hand into his baggy sweatpants and dragged them off of his legs, "Mercy's for pussies and neither of us have them."

Spencer held back a laugh as he pinned Derek's arms over his head, feeling the playful resistance from his bedmate, "Then, no mercy for you."

Derek released his wrist from Spencer's confines and flipped Spencer underneath of him, grinning down at his boyfriend, "Who said I'd leave the handlings of mercy up to you?"

"You did," Spencer gasped, clearly not expecting the swift change, "You said you wanted me to tie you down and fuck you into the mattress."

Derek wiggled his eyebrows and stole a kiss before saying against Spencer's lips, "I never said 'today'."

Spencer growled, "Oh, you sneaky bastard!"

Derek chuckled with a deep snarl, "Don't expect much else from me, Princess. Just remember, you asked for it, so get it, you shall."

"Oh, really?" Spencer asked as Derek leaned closer to whisper his snarky response full of yeah's, sure's and fuck yes's. Smiling down at him, Derek closed the distance between their lips and pressed Spencer closer to him, basking in the warmth of familiarity, and the subtle bite of the unknown. This is probably why Derek likes sleeping with different women, there must be nothing like the first time with somebody. The excitement of seeing what you've dreamt about, finally touching what many others have not had the honor to. The passion that lies in that first press of lips, and the feel of someone else moving with you in a dance of pleasure and lust. The soft slide of foreign skin touching, colliding, and falling together in satin sheets; breathing in oxygen of carbon dioxide.

Derek had leaned over to turn the bedside light out, ran his calm hands down Spencer's body, and left whispered kisses across every inch or his skin. He even paused to press his lips to the arch of Spencer's feet, rubbing gentle circles into them to relax, and sooth him. Derek eased tension out of Spencer's shoulders, pushed knots out of his back, and rubbed a soothing smelling lotion into his skin, kissing away at his chest, back, legs, and thighs when he could. Spencer had never felt more turned on in his entire life. Hell, he was getting closer and closer to the edge as Derek soothed and massaged him until he could barely remember his first name (which says a lot for an eidetic guy). Spencer blames Derek's fucking hands rubbing up and down his skin. Those things were a damned aphrodisiac.

He doesn't know what he is at this point, gay, bi, straight, Derek-sexual. Fuck, right about now he doesn't even care. All he wants is Derek's warm hands on him as long as he lives. If that could happen, then all of Spencer's dreams have come true. Derek whispered into his ear once more if he was sure he wanted to go through with it and Spencer breathed out with a snarky smirk, "You know what? No. I just undressed, showered, fingered the shit out of myself, drove over here and threw my naked body into your arms. How could you have possibly misconstrued that to be me wanting to have sex with you?"

"Hey, no need to get an attitude. I'll turn this car around, you hear me?" Derek chuckled, pinching Spencer's rear and eliciting that sound he likes so much. Once he's started aggravating him, though, it was hard to stop. By the time he was finished teasing Spencer with tickles along his ribs and nibbling kisses to his firm nipples, the young doctor's arms were crossed over his chest and his face held a very prominent blush. Fully satisfied, Derek pressed a kiss to Spencer's lips and guided him from slightly aggressed to passionate in moments. By then, Spencer was panting putty in Derek's arms, sporting a half mast length and a no nonsense attitude. Derek began once again to run the show. Spencer let out a deep breath as Derek pressed a finger deep into him, feeling the walls give way easily. He was indeed well prepared. Derek's head popped up from Spencer's lap and he asked how Spencer had come to prepare himself so well. When Spencer replied "a nine inch dildo" Derek shook his head and muttered once again that Spencer was a closet freak. Whatever that means.

Spencer licked his dry lips wet and watched greedily as Derek rolled latex down and slicked himself up. Derek threw him a wink that had him in a fit of nervous giggles as Derek poked his nose. Looking down at him with adoration, Derek leaned forward and whispered into Spencer's ear that he loved him. Spencer felt himself blush as he replied that he felt the same. Running his hands down Spencer's body one last time, he gazed into Spencer's eyes and pushed in for the first time.

For Derek, it was soft and unexpectedly warm. Spencer had a smooth natural twitch at the first glide, but his body was so relaxed and well prepared that he had accepted him easily. He couldn't stop looking into Spencer's face. It was scrunched and contorted, but not as if he was uncomfortable. It was more the face he gave when he didn't understand. Derek hoped he soon would. After a moment to adjust, Derek gave their first stroke and watched Spencer's intake of breath. His whole body seemed to move with him, his chest, his back, his legs… it was as if he identified exactly what to do, and spent the moment doing it wondering how he knew in the first place. Derek almost chuckled. That's so Spencer. As the young doctor's small, lithe hands pressed calmly to his shoulders, Derek felt that softness and warmth again. This is now what he will associate with Spencer. Softness and warmth.

For Spencer, it was passionate and gentile. Derek's slide in was tender, but it felt foreign and strange at first. He needed a moment to tell himself that it was finally over. Whatever happens from now to the rest of his life, at least he's not a virgin anymore. Then he felt Derek's breath on his face, and his hands gripping softly to his waist as if he were afraid Spencer would break if he held on too tightly. Warm breath, sensual touches, it was perfect. Spencer's eyes were shut, so he couldn't see it, but he knew. He knew Derek was watching him, waiting on a reaction. Spencer subconsciously gave it. Then, Derek moved, somehow knowing that Spencer wanted him to. In that moment, it all clicked. His body flowed through the shock of the first stroke as Derek's motion flooded him with passion. Spencer knows. There's so much he knows. It all makes sense to him now, sex does.

So, they continued. Neither said a word. No hints, no 'faster's, not even a 'how does that feel'. They communicated through moan and breath. Anything other than that, they just sort of knew. Derek noticed that whenever Spencer wanted more, his back would arch into him, guiding him along to his sensitive prostate. Spencer felt that whenever, Derek really liked something, he'd breathe a certain way. Whenever something hurt, Spencer would turn his face shyly into the pillow. Whenever an angle sucked, Derek would shift his bummed knee. It was a process for the two of them, learning each other's bodies and motions. Then, they got it. Pace matched pace, and thrust matched thrust. They knew. They understood. They fell together.

Alas, when it came to the end, there was some lost in translation. Spencer would arch deeper and press Derek in further until his chest collided with Derek's. That struck Derek as odd as he's never seen that before and then didn't know what to do. So, he started to think like Spencer… If I'm doing a good job, we should be nearing the end. Around that moment, Spencer should want more and more, but still be losing his regular train of thought, so he won't really understand what he wants more of. Since I'm the one giving him pleasure, he might be seeing me as an object of it and if he realizes that's what he wants, he will do everything in his power to physically take pleasure off of me if he has to get it that way. Thus, why he's moving so closely. If I'm right, I just solved question ten on that biology quiz in my senior year of college that I didn't study for… Yeah, I'm probably wrong. Well, he thought that until Spencer let out a soft, but long moan that sounded kind of like a poor street urchin having his first bite of steak. Derek then understood. I rock so damn hard right now. Then, Derek's breath picked up and Spencer began to get worried he had done something wrong, opening his eyes wider to see Derek's closed tightly, his face giving away his pleasure. That's his narcissistic face. He must think he's doing well. Spencer then decided that if he wasn't so into this right now, he would totally say something snarky.

Then, it happened.

You know what I mean. It.

Needless to say, Spencer was expecting more, but he was thoroughly impressed all in all. He was mostly shocked into his orgasm, his stomach pooling with heat as he pushed and shoved against Derek, syphoning passion off of his boyfriend as if he were the only source of it. Derek watched as Spencer came loose underneath him, gasping and yelling and quivering in one of the most intimate moments of his life. Then Derek's ego took over and he just thought "fuck it" and let Spencer have it. In the last few moments of Spencer's orgasm, he pounded him hard, finding himself finishing off after hearing that sharp, eager "yes!" Spencer gasped out after every thrust.

After he was done, Spencer's chest was heaving, fresh come littering his stomach and Derek pulled out quickly, leaning down to push the head of Spencer's sensitive length into his mouth. Spencer quickly called out his name, gripping the back of Derek's head and nodding, seemingly past words. Derek pulled his tongue back as his lips sunk down Spencer's dying erection as he teased the doctor until he was reduced to shallow breaths and the occasional swear. Spencer began to whimpering, clawing gently at the back of his neck and whispering quiet words. There wasn't much else for him to do at that point, but lay back and float off into the calm, satisfying humdrum that was post coitus.

Derek leaned up to kiss him, running his hands through his hair and gently caressing the side of his face before breaking contact with his lips. Spencer glanced into his eyes and saw a glint that he barely ever sees in Derek's eyes. The look was warm and comforting and said "you know I fuckin' love you, right?" Spencer never wanted to leave that spot. It was then when Spencer realized that he was smiling. Not a cheek breaking, thirty two teeth gleaming, forceful smile. It wasn't even his awkward 'consulting-a-family-that-doesn't-like-his-tie' smile. It was a smile he doesn't ever remember making before. His lips were slightly turned upward at the corners, uneven and natural. He barely noticed that he was even doing it. Wow.

Derek smirked, running a thumb gently across his lips, "You're smiling and it's not awkward like it usually is."

Spencer chuckled, refusing to break eye contact with the warm eyes above him, "If you say one word about me basking in the afterglow, I will kick your ass."

"I was just about to say that, and I'd love to see you try," Derek laughed fondly.

Spencer let out a scoff, "Yeah, me too."

Derek stared at him longer; the time passing like leaves falling from a tree and new stars becoming visible to the earth's inhabitants. Spencer, for years, never liked being looked at, but even then he would tolerate it when Derek did it before just because it was Derek. But now? Well… he kind of liked it now. It gave him some sort of reassurance that he could be attractive and Derek thought him so. For once, it didn't make him feel objectified or estranged. He kind of feels worth it. His smile grew wider.

The two began to laugh and Spencer leaned back, head hitting the pillow as he ran his hand through his now tangled mess of hair, "Shit. I can't believe we actually did it."

Derek casually lay beside him, but didn't pull away completely after he covered their skin with the loose blanket. His fingers trailed down Spencer's chest as he drew little patterns on it, "I believe your words were 'get it over with'."

Spencer let out a content sigh, "I could get it over with again and again and again and again and again and…"

Derek chuckled against his earlobe, "Okay, Spencer. I get it. You like cock."

Spencer hid his face in his hands and he turned on his side into Derek's chest, "Rrh, you make it sound so gay."

Derek began to outright laugh, "I'm sorry, but you just said you wanted to have sex with me again and again. Does that sound straight to you or… do you slap on a 'no homo' on the end of it and it's all alright."

Spencer shook his head and pushed his bangs out of his eyes, "You know what, this isn't the time for me to have a big gay freak out, so I'm just going to stop complaining." He looked up into Derek's eyes and sighed truthfully, "I don't know what you did, but I liked it very much and would like to have more of it."

"Just in case you're wondering it's called a screaming orgasm, and sure. You may have as many as you like," Derek replied with a clever smirk.

Spencer stared blankly at him.

Derek paused, "…what?"

Spencer deadpanned, "Now, preferably."

Derek shook his head with a smile, "Okay. One: where did your manners go, because I don't remember letting them out of the door. Two: your recovery period is so unnaturally fast, it should be illegal."

"Nuh uh," Spencer replied with a quick nod, "We stopped like two minutes ago. Come on, let's go!"

Derek sighed and ran his hand down his face, "Boy, you're going to give me a heart attack."

"At least try to wait until after, okay," Spencer said with a grin, hopping on top of Derek enthusiastically.

JJ walked past Spencer's desk absentmindedly, holding a file for him and dropping it at his desk, "There's a serial kidnapper in Georgia we need to get to, and we're meeting in the break room in five—Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Reid, you look like you haven't slept."

Spencer groaned and sat up gingerly, his face contorted into a scowl, "Thanks for the compliment, Jayje."

She shrugged, "What? I was being honest. Did you?"

"Didn't have time," Spencer said with a reminiscent smile before grabbing his file and satchel and striding up to JJ to whisper into her ear, "Lots of sex."

JJ screamed in joy, "Shut up!"

He chuckled as the entire office looked their way at her outburst and leaned back on his desk casually to reply, "Oh, yeah. I feel like a new man."

JJ grabbed him by the ear and dragged him through the bullpen, up the runway and down to her office. He whined, "What the—ow." She paid him no mind and closed the door quickly before turning, grabbing his lapels, and slamming him against it, asking, "Okay, how did this go down? Details, man, you're killing me!"

Spencer said with a tired blink, "I was in my apartment around three in the morning, and I decided to get naked, put on a trench coat and show up on his doorstep."

She paused, "And you're not confined to a wheelchair?"

Spencer winked, "I'm just as shocked that I'm not paraplegic as you are."

"How was it?"

"Amazing."

"How long did you last?"

"Five minutes shortest; thirty two minutes longest."

"What position?"

"Does 'every available surface in the room' have a name?"

"No, but it should," she gasped and narrowed her eyes when she asked, "Is he circumcised?"

"That is so none of your business."

"Spencer."

"Yep."

JJ let out a breath, "Ho…ly…shit."

Spencer sighed happily, "Holy shit is right. I still can't feel my toes."

JJ gave him a wide smile and poked him in the chest repeatedly, "I am so damned proud of you. I mean the trench coat thing was brilliant! Who would have known that was the exact thing to do? I mean it was practically—"

Spencer grinned, "What? Genius?"

She teased him lovingly, ruffling his hair before exiting the room, "Yeah, okay, hot stuff. Get your tiny little ass in the break room. I'll deal with you later"

A/N: I have no idea how that chappie went over with you guys, because I seriously wrote it to death until I just gave up and uploaded. It took me two weeks to finish it. Yeah, I know. Damn. Let me know in the reviews if I "nailed it, or failed it", because I am honestly at a loss here and am in need of feedback.

-White Oleander

P.S. Fun fact for those who care! My screen name is actually based off of the book White Oleander which I actually never read. My mother always kept it in the hallway on top of the bookshelf, and when I moved away, it was the one thing I really remembered about my childhood home. So, to avoid copyright I changed the color and misspelled oleander to be oleandar.

Betcha didn't know that.