Captain Snoopy was not having a good day. He was hanging by his feet from a rope that was looped over a tree branch tied to a stake. Between the two was a fire that was slowly burning through the rope.
The pirates laughed as he dangled there.
Benjamina watched sadly.
"Snoop!" she cried.
Snoopy groaned as he felt his spine pop slightly.
"Let my beagle go!" Benjamina cried.
"Don't tell them anything!" Snoopy cried. "They'll only kill you! Don't listen to them! They're probably crossing their fingers right now!"
Long John turned to Benjamina.
"Now!" he shouted.
She jumped in surprise, facing him.
"For the last time, where's the bloody treasure?!"
The pirates yelled.
Benjamina didn't talk.
Long John drew his sword and went to cut the rope.
"STOP!" she shrieked. "Stop! Desist! Halt! Pause! Rewind!"
They stared at her.
"The treasure's at my place! North trail, split-level hut with the pink lawn furniture! You can't miss it! NOW LET HIM GO!"
Long John grinned before laughing again.
Benjamina now dangled upside-down beside Snoopy.
"There seems to be a pattern emerging here," Benjamina muttered.
Snoopy chuckled nervously.
"Well, the past is behind us now," he said, "and the future is…below us…or above us. We're upside down. It's kind of hard to tell."
Benjamina began to whimper.
"Well, hey, we're going down together!" Snoopy said assuringly. "Yeah, that's looking at the bright side, isn't it?!"
"Yeah, Snoop. Despite it all…" And she began to whimper again.
There's a song here, but it's really sappy. Let's just say they rekindled their relationship.
And there was a montage in which the pirates find the treasure after all.
It's a win-win situation.
SNAP!
Oh right, except that bit.
Benjamina's rope snapped, and she started to fall, but Snoopy was able to grab her feet.
She screamed for ten seconds before she realized she'd been rescued.
"Snoop, you sly dog! You saved me!"
Snoopy would've replied, but he was too busy trying not to explode as he tried to hold onto her.
"Come on, men!" Long John shouted. "It's back to Blighty now, lads! The treasure's all ours!"
They were all chattering and shouting as they went back to their longboats with six chests of gold and treasure.
But as they gleefully loaded the boats, the Hispaniola suddenly came out of hiding from behind the rock face of the island.
Bucky was the first to see.
"OH! SWEET CRACKER SANDWICH! LONG JOHN! THE SHIP IS COMING!" he screamed.
Long John stared in disbelief.
"What're they doing?!" Hagar cried.
"There's no one on board!" Zero gasped.
Long John pulled out his telescope and looked.
The ship looked so majestic that Long John would've though it a beautiful sight if he'd been someone else and everything was completely different.
"It's headed straight for us!" Bucky cried.
"It's the ghost of Captain Flinty!" Zero shrieked.
"He's coming to kill us!" Hagar wailed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!"
Screaming and blubbering, they all ran away, leaving Long John by himself.
"COME BACK, YOU COWARDS!" he shouted, but they didn't.
He glared at the ship.
"Hawkins," he hissed with a slight smirk on his face.
Jim, Calvin and Hobbes were hiding on the deck, making sure the pirates didn't see them.
Calvin noticed something.
"Look!" he whispered. "It's the dog! And the Captain's with her too!"
Hobbes and Jim gasped.
Snoopy and Benjamina were dangling from the rope.
"Good grief!" Hobbes breathed.
"Head for the cliffs!" Jim ordered.
Sarge nodded and turned towards Squire Satchel.
"Head for the cliffs, Squire!" he ordered.
"Aye, aye!" Squire Satchel replied, turning the wheel.
Dr Garfield and Odie arrived and stared.
"Oh great," Dr Garfield muttered. "C'mon, Odie, let's get the net. Get the fishing rod and the trash bag on standby."
"Arf!" Odie replied, and he headed below.
Long John found the pirates shivering under some bushes.
"GET BACK THERE, YE YELLOW-BELLIED BILGE RATS! I'M NOT LOSING THAT TREASURE NOW! GET OUT THERE!"
Whimpering and complaining, the pirates hurried out of the bushes.
Dr Garfield, Odie and Sarge stood at some ropes.
"Lowering net!" Dr Garfield announced.
As they loosened the ropes, Jim, Calvin and Hobbes directed the net where Snoopy and Benjamina could land in it.
"A little to the left!" Calvin directed. "Gently now! Easy… You're good! Right there!"
"We're coming, Captain Snoopy!" Jim shouted.
Snoopy and Benjamina both whimpered, dangling from the rope.
"Steady! Steady!" Jim ordered.
"Careful! We've still got to take the cat tourists home!" Hobbes wailed.
The fire was already burning through the last of Snoopy's ropes.
"Good grief!" Snoopy whimpered.
SNAP!
The ropes gave out, and Snoopy and Benjamina fell through the air towards the ship.
"We've got 'em!" Jim cheered.
"Here they come!" Calvin cried.
They watched as Snoopy and Benjamina fell through the air…
…and missed the target completely, falling to the front of the ship instead of the side.
"AUGH!" they screamed.
THUD!
Calvin and Hobbes gasped and ran to the front to see where they'd landed. Their eyes burst open in shock.
Roy and Bernie, still at the front of the ship, were holding Snoopy and Benjamina in their wooden hands.
"Bernie, you old fool!" Roy laughed. "We're heroes! We saved the girl and the dog!"
"Well, it was too late to save the movie," Bernie replied.
And they both started laughing.
"Welcome aboard, Captain Snoopy!" Jim shouted.
"And welcome to your lady friend as well," Sarge added.
"LOOK OUT!" Hobbes suddenly shrieked.
In all the excitement, they'd forgotten to stop the ship.
The pirates on the beech started screaming and running away from it as it came towards the shore.
The ship skidded into the sand and stopped so suddenly that Snoopy and Benjamina flew through the air and landed in the shrubbery.
Everyone aboard was tossed around.
Spitting and groaning, Snoopy and Benjamina safely emerged from the shrubbery.
Sarge immediately jumped onto the side of the ship holding two swords in one hand, and he grabbed a rope with the other.
"The captain must have his sword!" he stated.
And he swung to the shore.
"Whoa!" Hobbes gasped.
"Awesome!" Calvin cried.
Jim immediately followed in suit by grabbing a rope and swinging down.
"YAAH!" he yelled, swinging deftly to the ground.
As the pirates began to draw their swords, Sarge ran towards Snoopy.
"Captain!" he shouted, brining him a sword.
"FIGHT, YOU IDIOTS!" Long John shouted.
Sarge hurried towards Snoopy, but he had face off a pirate on the way there, defeating him easily by stomping on him.
Snoopy had to duck down to avoid by stabbed with a spear.
"Captain!" Sarge shouted.
"Yo!" Snoopy shouted back.
"Here!" And he threw him a sword.
Grinning, Snoopy caught it in his paw and began to fight back. He sliced the spear in two. In a flash, he was suddenly out of his uniform and wearing a hat, scarf and goggles.
"Here's the World War I Flying Ace engaged in a sword fight on enemy lines!" he said.
Benjamina head-butted a pirate.
"Alright!" she shouted. "No more Ms Nice Guy!"
She approached a pirate who was carrying some gold.
"No one maroons me and gets away with it!" she roared.
She kicked the treasure out of his hands, and then quickly drop kicked him. Then she kicked another in the shins before tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
Captain Snoopy and Sergeant Arrow were soon fighting side-by-side.
"Good to see you alive, Sarge!" Snoopy shouted.
"Thank you, Captain!" Sarge replied.
Suddenly, three more ropes from the ship came flying down.
On the first one was Squire Satchel, who landed with a thump on two more pirates.
Once he was down, Hobbes deftly and lightly landed on top of him, immediately leaping off of his back in pounce mode, and attacked another pirate, causing them both to roll across the ground. Hobbes managed to fling the pirate into a rock.
Calvin swung on the third one, this time wearing a dark red mask and cape.
"Ha!" Calvin cheered. "It is I! Stupendous Man! Defender of the good! Fighter of evil!"
Jim suddenly ran past and began to sword fight with Zero and another pirate. Zero kept accidentally hitting his crewmate as well.
As Calvin watched, he was snuck up on by another pirate about his height.
"You dare sneak up on Stupendous Man, you coward?!" Calvin snorted, facing him. "Mi casa es su casa."
The pirate grinned. "Ah, I shall make cheese out of you! Come on!"
"I shall now perform a trick taught to me by some guy I saw in a karate movie!" Calvin said, ignoring him.
Calvin crossed his arms across himself and reached into his pockets, and he deftly pulled out two starfish, and he flung them through the air.
They caught the shoulders on the pirate's shirt and pinned him to the ship wall.
Then Calvin ripped out two more, pinning his legs to the ship as well.
"Triumph!" he shouted. "Stupendous Man away!"
And he ran off to find someone else to fight.
Long John observed as Jim fought off another pirate.
"Come on, Jerry! He's just a kid!" he shouted.
Jim continued to block and kick with all his might.
Zero came to help, but he missed and accidentally sliced Jerry's rear.
Jim and Zero then began to swordfight.
However, Jim then was attacked from the rear, but he flipped the new attacker over his head and thumped his on ground.
Now frightened, Zero put his hands up.
"Okay, I give! Uncle! I'm dead!"
And he fell to the ground, cowering.
Jim rolled his eyes and ran off. He joined Calvin in sword fighting some more pirates.
Squire Satchel clutched his sword as he cowered in the brush, but another pirate appeared.
"Oh! Oh!" he cried. "Mr Bimbo! Help!"
The pirate tried to attack him, but Squire Satchel was able to turn his sword in the correct positions each time as he covered his eyes.
Back on the ship, Dr Garfield and Odie were putting the cannon in place, and seeing Squire Satchel's plight, they aimed it at the pirate attack him.
"Okay, Odie, just like we practiced, okay?" he asked.
"Bark!"
"Good, and this time, not too much gunpowder."
"Arf!"
Squire Satchel tried to keep up his fighting stance with one paw and cover his eyes with the other.
"Am I soup yet?" he whimpered.
The pirate wouldn't relent.
BOOM!
A cannonball sailed in and hit the nearby tree. It came down on top of the pirate, rendering him unconscious.
"Good boy!" Dr Garfield cheered.
"Arf!" Odie agreed, giving him a big wet slurp.
Squire Satchel finally dared to look. He stared at the mess in amazement.
"Mr Bimbo!" he said to his finger. "That was some amazing swordplay! Ha! Ha!"
Snoopy and Sarge were now cornered up against the ship by two pirates, but they continued to fight valiantly.
Suddenly, they saw Beetle Bailey running towards them with a huge log.
"Heads up!" Snoopy shouted.
Beetle swung the log around…and bashed the pirates unconscious.
WHAM!
As they fell to the ground, Snoopy and Sarge stared at Beetle.
"Uh, thanks," Snoopy said. "But…aren't you on their side?"
"Are you kidding?" Beetle snorted. "Those guys have the worst healthcare plan! Either help or die? Give me a break!"
Sarge growled.
"Why you…," he grumbled. And he began to chase Beetle, as was their little joke.
"Run, Beetle! Sarge is on your heels!" Snoopy shouted.
As they ran however, they heard a shrill voice from above.
"COWABUNGA!"
They saw Bucky swing in on a rope…and missed them completely.
WHAM!
He swung into a tree.
Getting up, he swung his fists dizzily.
"C'mon, fight! Fight! Where are ya…?" he asked.
Sarge and Beetle responded by kicking him back into the tree again.
Benjamina finally beat up the last pirate standing between her and Long John.
"And as for you…," she growled.
Long John pulled out his gun.
"Ah," she said, whimpering. "Well, maybe we can let you off with a warning."
"Silver!"
They looked up.
Snoopy, still wearing his scarf and goggles, stood there, holding his sword.
"Here's the World War I Flying Ace squaring off with the Red Baron at long last!" he growled.
Snoopy then jumped atop his nearby doghouse, which he promptly flew through the air until he was considerably closer to Long John, jumping off it and landing in front of him and knocking his gun out his hands with his sword.
"Ha! Why don't ya pick on somebody your own size?!" Snoopy declared, raising his goggles.
Long John chuckled and drew his own sword.
CLANG! CLANG!
They grunted and fought, swords colliding with each other.
Snoopy then managed to tap the sword along Long John's outfit, causing buttons, pips and his Captain's outfit to fall off, revealing his cook's uniform underneath.
"Ha-ha!" Snoopy chuckled.
Long John stared at him in disbelief.
Snoopy then sliced bits of sleeve and clothing off of Long John.
"Ha, ha!" he laughed, who was now showing off.
Long John was now getting a little flustered.
"Ha!" he laughed. "Not bad for a beagle, eh?"
And he began flinging the sword around cockily.
Long John got annoyed.
"Excuse me," he said quietly.
"Pardon?"
At that moment, the sword flew from Snoopy's grip and flew through the air, just barely missing stabbing the pirate Calvin had pinned earlier.
Sarge and Beetle groaned and covered their eyes.
Bucky was just getting up when Sarge, not even looking at him, kicked him back into the tree.
Snoopy stared, and then faced Long John again, clearing his throat.
"Oh, um… Well, I'm a dog, you see… No thumbs."
Long John smirked and chuckled, bringing the sword's tip to Snoopy's throat.
"You know, violence has never been the key," he gulped.
"Really?" Long John sneered. "Allow me to disagree, Cap'n."
Suddenly, another sword appeared aimed at Long John, and Jim was at the other end.
"Kill Captain Snoopy and you'll have to kill me," he stated boldly.
Long John's eyes widened.
Calvin stepped forward; now back in his normal clothes and also holding a sword.
"Kill Jim and you'll have to kill me," he said.
Squire Satchel held up his own sword.
"Kill Calvin and you'll have to kill me!"
Now Hobbes arrived.
"Kill Squire Satchel and Mr Bimbo and you'll… I can't believe this… You'll have to kill me!"
Dr Garfield and Odie arrived, also brandishing swords.
"Same here, pal."
"Grrrrrr…"
Realizing his only options, Long John turned to go, but he was cut off by Benjamina and her tribe.
"Going somewhere, Johnny?" she grinned.
Now he was down to one option.
Long John looked Jim right in the eye.
"Well, Mr Hawkins," he said, grinning wryly. "It seems your little family has come together against me."
And doing the only honorable thing he'd done this entire adventure, Long John Silver handed Jim his sword and surrendered.
And they trudged onwards.