Ch. 9
Katara had been moping around the fancy apartment in Ba Sing Se Aang the others had made their base between long searches for Katara and spent most of her time alone in her room.
"Maybe I should go talk to her." Aang suggested anxiously for about the eighth time that day.
"Leave her alone Aang. She wants to be alone, so leave her alone." Sokka said, lounging on a pillow, lazily snacking on a platter of food Joo Dee had brought by earlier.
In a stunning show of sympathy Toph added, "She's been through a lot. Captured and lied to by the fire nation's prince." But she was Toph after all. "So if sweetness wants to cry alone all day, let her. I don't want to be around that."
"But she's been in there for almost two weeks." Aang was sounding desperate.
"And what can you do about it? This is a girly-feelings-y type of thing. None of us understand that; we're not girls. No offense Toph." Sokka said.
Toph shrugged, grabbing a fistful of food and stuffing it in her mouth. "You're right." She said with her mouth full, proudly belching after.
"So what are we supposed to do?" Aang asked.
Sokka shrugged. "Leave her alone. She'll get over it eventually."
"But-"
"Jeeze twinkle toes! There's not much you can do unless you're a girl."
Aang who had been inching towards Katara's room came back and slumped miserably near them. He wrapped his arms around his knees and then he suddenly jumped to his feet. "I'll be right back. I have an idea." He snagged his glider and dashed out the door.
There was a knock at the door the next day.
"Hey Sokka." Came a light and cheery voice as he opened the door.
"Suki!" They hugged. "What're you doing here?"
"Aang came to the train station the other day and told me it was an emergency."
"Oh." The enthusiasm left his voice and he was suddenly serious. "Yeah, she's not doing very well."
Suki put a reassuring hand on his arm. "Aang told me what happened. Where is she?"
Sokka led her to Katara's room. He knocked and then cracked the door. The curtains were drawn and it was dark. "Katara? There's someone here to see you."
Suki poked her head in and it took her eyes a moment to adjust. She found her in a corner of the room, sitting on the floor with her knees tucked up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. "Katara?" She whispered into the darkness.
"Hey Suki."
Suki flashed Sokka a reassuring smile before slipping inside and closing the door behind her. "Mind if I let some light in?" Katara shrugged in response and Suki went about opening the curtains, letting in bright streams of sunlight and cracking a window or two to let in some fresh air. The sound of children laughing and birds singing floated in on the wind and it seemed harshly unfair after what Katara had been through. Suki sat down next to her. "Want to talk about it?"
Katara continued to stare at the far wall and she started to shake her head.
"Aang already told me the story." She confided quietly.
Katara buried her face in her hands and started crying. Suki pulled Katara towards her, with her arm around her shoulder. "Shhh… It's okay."
"He used me!" She shouted into Suki's shoulder where her head was resting. Once she started, she couldn't get the thoughts and feelings she had been repressing since Aang had taken her away. "He lied to me! Made me trust him. Made me… love him!" She started sobbing, her shoulders shaking.
Suki waited till she calmed down, rubbing her back soothingly until her breathing evened out again. "He used me to get to Aang. It's like the time he took my mother's necklace but this time, he made me trust him. He lied and manipulated me."
"At first." Suki said.
"What?" Katara raised her tear stained face.
"I think that's how he felt at first, but…"
"But what?" She sniffled.
"But… When Aang got there, he didn't do anything, right? Zuko didn't try to break free, throw fireballs, nothing. Doesn't that seem odd to you?"
Katara sat up and wiped her cheeks. "He was outnumbered."
"When has that stopped him before?"
Katara thought for a while, trying to come up with a logical explanation. She wasn't coming up with much and Suki interrupted her thoughts.
"What was it like on the ship?"
"What do you mean?"
"How did he act?"
Katara mulled over the months she'd been on the ship. "Well… At first I was locked in my room… Zuko's room really… Then he started joining us for meals, Iroh and I, and he took me outside…"
"Prince Zuko let his key to the Avatar, who happens to be a water bender, out with open access to the ocean?" Katara could hear the surprise in Suki's voice.
She nodded. "Eventually I was free to come and go from my room to the deck. Then there was that one day." She shuddered at the memory.
"What happened?" Suki prompted.
"I went up early and that was the first time I realized, at the time, that he was a fire bender. It scared me and I ran. I got lost and he was chasing me. There was a door that was unlocked… There was a fire nation soldier in there and… and… he attacked me." More tears fell and Suki embraced her.
"I had no idea." She said stroking her hair. "Were you… Okay?"
Katara shook her head slowly. "No." Suki's arms tightened. "I don't want to know what would have happened if Zuko hadn't heard me."
"He saved you?" Suki said with a satisfied smile.
"Kind of. He was preserving his bait."
"Perhaps." She conceded. "Then what?"
"That soldier was imprisoned, especially after he tried to kill Zuko." Suki gasped. "Shortly after, he started teaching me how to use weapons and fighting techniques. We sparred every day."
"Wait a minute." Suki interrupted. "Why would a captor teach his captive how to fight?" She asked skeptically, trying to lead Katara back to the preposterous idea that what she had shared with Zuko had been real.
"He didn't want me to be attacked by anymore soldiers."
"He was protecting you."
"So he could use me to get to Aang." She added bitterly.
"But that still doesn't make sense! If he wanted you safe, he would've locked you up. If he wanted to protect you and let you keep your freedom and hadn't been worried about capturing Aang, he would've taught you how to defend yourself.
She shrugged unconvinced. "I don't know what his thought process was."
"Why don't you think it's even possible that he cared?"
"Because he's Zuko, the banished prince, hunting the Avatar to restore his honor. He isn't capable of caring about anything aside from returning to the throne."
"But I think he cared about you. He wanted to protect you. Didn't anything else happen between you two?"
Katara was reluctant to respond. "We kissed."
"No, you're right. All enemies make out."
"Suki…" She whispered, lowering her head on to her knees. "He took advantage of me and the fact that I lost my memories."
"I know. I just think the things he did was because he liked you."
Katara sat quietly thinking about what Suki said. Despite the sunshine and laughter floating through the window, the room had become gloomy again. "Come on; let's go get something to eat. You must be starving."
She was about to protest but her stomach growled and Suki wasn't going to let it go that easily.
"It's… alive!" Toph yelled, throwing up her arms from her seat on the floor.
"Hey, how're you feeling?" Aang asked, landing lightly in front of her.
"Better." She admitted.
"See Aang, told you it's a girl thing." Sokka said, putting his arm around Suki's shoulder.
"Sorry Sokka, we're not done yet." The dopey smile slid off his face. "Just taking a break, getting something to eat, giving us some time to think."
"See Sokka, it's a girl thing!" Toph laughed, smacking her foot into the ground, earth bending a platter of food closer to where she was lounging on the floor.
Aang motioned to the food they had set out on the table. "Actually," Katara said "can we go out? I really need to get out of this house."
"Field trip!" Toph called, jumping to her feet, brushing some of the dirt from her clothes and launching the contents of her nose and throat into a spittoon, making a resounding clang as it hit.
They walked around for a while, exploring the vendors on either side of the street. Suki and Katara fingered the finery wistfully while Aang, Toph and Sokka feigned battles with the weapons emitting loud death sounds when dealt a mortal blow. Many times their antics would get them shooed away. Sokka plucked a wild flower growing in a side alley and tucked it into Suki's hair gingerly, a tender moment until Toph interrupted with a loud raspberry. Hunger started to take priority over their exploring and they finally settled on a small café with rich smells wafting out to the street.
Lunch was a pleasant experience. Pleasant conversations were had, carefully, but casually, avoiding certain subjects, keeping the mood light. Katara found herself enjoying herself, but was constantly reminded that this was like the meals she had once shared with Zuko and Iroh.
As they were walking back, Sokka asked, "So Suki, are you leaving already?"
"Well, I asked for a few days off…"
"Perfect, so you'll be staying with us."
"But,"
Katara put her hand on Suki's arm. "Don't worry; you can stay in my room."
"Thanks Katara."
"It's the least I can do."
When they got back to the house, Toph flopped on the giant pile of pillows in the common room while Sokka, Katara and Aang gathered various bedding for Suki's bed. Sokka jerked a couple of pillows out from under Toph, making her topple to the hard wood floor.
"Hey!" She protested.
Sokka ignored her as Toph continued grumbling and presented his findings to the Kyoshi Warrior. "Here Suki, I got you some pillows." His voice cracked near the end. Suki chuckled.
"Thanks Sokka." And she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, leaving him blushing furiously and sputtering unintelligibly as he stumbled away.
"You were right." Katara said, interrupting the quiet as she and Suki made up her bed.
"I know. About what?"
"I did… do care about him. And…" She stood from her hunched position. Suki stopped and watched, waiting for her to realize and admit what Suki had been trying to tell her. "And I think he did care, in the end."
Suki just nodded, not wanting to shove it in her face.
"He didn't try to capture Aang."
Suki shook her head. "No he didn't. He just watched you leave."
Katara nodded, thinking it over and agreeing. She let out a long sigh; a small smile that had been missing for a long time appeared. "I feel… lighter."
"Good."
"Thank you Suki."
"No problem."
Katara shook her head. "Big help. I'm still a little confused and hurt, but you helped a lot."
"I guess my job here is done" She said with a smile and a shrug.
"You're not leaving, are you?"
"Hm… not yet. I got a few days off, might as well enjoy them." She blushed a bit and Katara could guess why.
That night and the next day, everyone spent time relaxing together, having fun and enjoying Ba Sing Se.
The day after, Katara and Suki decided to explore the market place early before the others were awake. For so early in the morning, the market was alive and buzzing with energy. A flurry of decorations were being hung and the excitement in the air was palpable and it was hard not to get caught up in the festivities.
"What's going on?" Suki asked Katara.
"I don't know" Katara stopped a jolly man carrying a crate full of sparklers and fireworks. "Excuse me, what's going on?"
"What? You haven't heard the good news?" Katara and Suki shook their heads and a big grin spread across the man's face."Why we're celebrating because it's wonderful news! The fire nation's prince and his Uncle the dreaded Dragon of the West are dead!"
Katara stumbled back as if she'd been punched in the stomach and her hands covered her mouth in a gasp, tears began to sting her eyes.
"So happy you're in shock, eh?
Suki put an arm around Katara. "Well, thank you." She said and quickly steered Katara into a quiet, abandoned alley way. As soon as they were out of the public's eye, Katara collapsed, sobbing into her hands. Suki slowly sat next to her, rubbing her back in reassurance. After a long time of sobbing and shuddering breaths, Katara was able to speak in a broken, raw voice.
"I loved him."
"I know." It was quiet. There wasn't much else to say.
"And now he's dead!" She flung her face into Suki's lap, back shaking as she started sobbing again.
"I know." She rubbed her heaving back. It was a long time before she stopped crying. "Let's get some tea." Suki suggested quietly. Katara stood numbly and Suki led her to a barrel holding rain water. It was hard to see her own reflection through her swollen eyes, but her face was red and tear stained and her eyes were so red and swollen. She slowly splashed the cold water on her face. She bended off what was dripping down her face and turned to Suki for approval.
"Your eyes are still red and a little swollen, but it's okay." She gently grabbed her elbow, pulling slowly, leading her out of the alley. "Come on, tea will help." Katara nodded numbly again and she was led into the Jasmine Dragon. They sat at a secluded table in the corner far from the other people celebrating the turn of events.
The proprietor of the store noticed two girls sneak in and sit at the far table. "Lee." He called to his sullen employee who wasn't enjoying the day's festivities.
"What?"
"Can you please help those ladies in the corner?"
He sighed. "Fine."
Katara sat facing the wall so she wouldn't have to see anyone. How could they possible celebrate the death of Zuko? He was a good man. Well… he had been a good man. And Iroh? He had been the nicest, gentlest old man she had ever met. Yet they were celebrating their demise. It made her sick. Suki had said that some jasmine tea would make her feel better. Soothe her nerves and calm her stomach, but it wouldn't bring them back. It would make him live again.
"What can I get you?" A familiar voice asked.
Suki looked up and her eyes widened and jaw dropped. Katara hadn't been paying attention, but Suki's strange demeanor caught her eye. She turned to see what had shocked her friend so. "Zuko?" It came out in a choked whisper.
Lee almost fell backwards over the table behind him. "Ka-Katara?" He stammered.
She stood quickly, knocking her chair over in the process. "I thought you were dead!" They were starting to attract attention and Zuko looked around warily. He grabbed her arm and quickly dragged her past all the tables and into the back room of the tea store. Suki remained seated and gave an awkward laugh and waved at all the staring customers. Zuko glanced around to make sure no one was following them and he closed the door and rounded on Katara.
"What are you doing here?" He hissed frantically.
"Me? I thought you were dead!" She shouted.
"Shh!" He looked towards the door.
"Zuko." She said trying to get his attention. He continued to stare at the door, not meeting her gaze. "Zuko." He continued staring. Her eyes started to water. "Damn it Zuko! Look at me! I thought you were dead!" Relief, hurt and frustration made her cover her face as she cried for the third time that day. Zuko started to reach out to her but stopped an image of her reaction as she realized who he was raced through his mind. He withdrew his hand, but kept it hanging, wanting very badly to touch her, comfort her. It was getting harder to watch her cry. But she was crying over him. Crying because she thought he had died. Being unable to refrain any longer he gathered her in his arms and she clung to his shirt front, crying into his chest.
"I'm sorry." He said trying to soothe her. She buried her face deeply, letting the smell of wood smoke and rain engulf her, trying to calm down. "I had to. I wanted a new start and I couldn't do that as the fire nation prince." He tightened his hold protectively. "I didn't think of what that'd do to you. I thought…" He tensed; she could feel his muscles strain momentarily all around her. "I thought that after you remembered all the horrible things I've done, you'd be happy I was dead."
It was Katara's turn to tense up, her stomach clenched. Happy he was dead? She violently shook her head and clutched him tighter. There had been too many emotions that day, too much crying. It was hard to make her voice work.
"I'm sorry." He repeated.
She mumbled something unintelligible into his chest.
"What?" He loosened his grip just a little.
"I don't want to lose you again."
"Even though I hunted you, tried to regain the throne with the Avatar and used your mother's necklace?" He asked dubiously, stunned.
She looked at him for the first time in a while. "That's not you. Not anymore and hasn't been for a while."
He wanted so badly to believe her. "On the ship, you were my prisoner."
"At first."
He thought it over. "At first." He agreed.
Satisfied, she rested her head on him, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster she'd been on all day. Curious as ever she asked, "How long have you been here?"
Zuko noticed her fatigue, she had put most of her weight on him. "Do you want to sit down?" She shook her head and tightened her grip. He wasn't convinced and he lowered them to the ground. Keeping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. "As soon as you left, we set off for Ba Sing Se on a refugee ship. Uncle started off in a small tea shop, but someone from the upper ring offered him his own tea shop."
Katara gave a quick laugh. "Doesn't surprise me." A thought suddenly occurred to her and she sat up from her slouched position leaning on him. "You're a fire bender."
Zuko tensed, unsure of where this was going. "Ya…" He agreed.
She turned to him suddenly excited. "Aang still needs to learn fire bending. You can teach him!"
Zuko shook his head. "I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Why not?" She seemed genuinely confused and disappointed.
"Well, based on our last meeting, I don't think Aang, or your brother, like me that much. Not to mention you're earth bender is a bit scary."
"So? Aang needs a teacher and you're our best option. They'll get used to the idea." He looked unconvinced and she kissed him on the cheek reassuringly and he reddened. "That way, you'll be able to come with us."
He stared into her big, pleading blue eyes. "Alright."